177 rockcliffe park middlesbrough

(GROUND NUMBER(S) 177/1 & 177 /2)◄"It doesn't get much madder than this!"
Date of First Visit: 27th FEBRUARY 1999
ROCKCLIFFE PARK, HURWORTH PLACE


(Pitch One)
MIDDLESBROUGH 'U19s' 0
NEWCASTLE UNITED 'U19s' 2
F.A. PREMIER ACADEMY LEAGUE 'U19s'
ATTENDANCE :100 (Estimated)


(Pitch Two)
MIDDLESBROUGH 'U17s' 1
NEWCASTLE UNITED 'U17s' 2
F.A. PREMIER ACADEMY LEAGUE 'U17s'
ATTENDANCE: 50 (Estimated)


(Combined aggregate score line)
MIDDLESBROUGH Youngins XXII's 1
NEWCASTLE UNITED Youngins XXII's 4
COMBINED ATTENDANCE: 150
('Mad –sad groundhoppers' watchin' both games: =ONE!) (guess who?) (see below!)




"A GROONDHOPPERS & TRAINSPOTTERS PARADISE!"

("TWO GAMES OF FOWER HALF'S(S)!")


For starters, Boro's trainin' groond, which is in the middle of ne where, is'nt the easiest place tih find, as it's tucked away doon a narrow country lane next to 'The East Coast Main Line' railway track------and not a signpost in sight tih tell yih where tih gan!?.
But!---as luck would have it, wih spotted the gym in the distance, an' followed wor noses!. (As yih de!)
Bizarely, both games kicked off at (virtually) the same time on ajoinin' pitches, anly seperated by a thin line of spectators.
The question was---which game did wih watch?.
'The Caped Crusader', 'The Mad Professor', 'Jonezee' and 'Mark from Morpeth' who a'd travelled doon with, ◄(if my memory sorves me correctly?) opted to watch the U19's game and give the otha one a 'miss'


As the Toons youngins were kickin' the same way in both games, aa decided tih be a clever sh*** by dein' the obvious and watch when we had possession in either game!, and tih watch the other game when Boro had the baall!. (THAT'S REET!---WATCH TWO GAMES AT THE SAME TIME!)
Aa positioned meesel to stand in between both pitches, lookin' doon towards the way the Toon(s) were kickin' (mee reet eye trained on the 'U17's pitch and mee left eye trained on the 'U19's pitch!)
(Er!---if yi can think of anythin' 'sadder'than this---then let me naa!)


The match(es!) were played in a gale force wind and the Toon(s) had advantage in the forst half(s). Mee loyalty? for anly watchin' when we had possession was rewarded in the third minute, when Paul Knight put the 'U19s' one-nowt up with a fine shot (ah just seen it hit the back of the net as ah had one eye on the other game as well!).
('ONE-NIL!', on aggregate tih the Toons youngins!)
Five minutes later, on the 'U17s' pitch, Kevin Wheallans hit a superb drive tih give the Boro keeper nee chance.
('TWO-NIL!', on aggregate!)


Every few minutes a train would 'shatter the peace' and come hurtlin' past at breakneck speed and yi could see the passengers tryin' to catch a glimpse of the action az they flew past at 125mph!


Back on the other pitch, the 'U19s' went further ahead when Coppinger bent the baall aroond the waall from a free kick.
(That's---'er'---'THREE-NIL!')


Ten minutes from half time Boro 'U17s' equalised---but!---as ah was watchin' the other match at the time, ah did'nt see it (SO!---iz far as ah was concerned---it didn't coont!)
(STILL!---'THREE-NIL!' on aggregate tih the Toon!)


Every nuw and again, (aboot every five minutes) the baall from one game would end up on the other pitch, and vise versa, which begged the question?---why the hell were the pitches so close together???----(Answers on a postcard pleeze, to 'Robbo'---care Middlesbrough F.C., Smog City, Teesside!)
Kevin Gall completed the forst half 'rout' for wor youngins, when he scored from 'close in', just before the break.
(Ah DID! see this one!---so that's 'FOWER-NIL!' tih 'us'!)


As wih froze tih death in the 'icy wind' durin' the half time break(s!), wih had time tih de ah bit of trainspottin', as the track actually ran past the bottom end of the groond. (Was that the 'Flyin' Scotsman'---'4472', gannin past at full steam??-----"SHIT!-----mee f***** pencils broke!"
(Anly kiddin'!---Wih not THAT! SAD!) (or---ARE WE??)


'The Smoggies' couldn't tek advantage of the wind durin' the second half(s), and there was ne further score, so the Toon(s) youngins did the double, which was just as well, as aa was f***** 'seein' double!', just tryin' tih keep mee 'mincers' on the two games!, an' by the end, ah had a f***** stiff neck iz well!.
(A'v heard of a game of 'two halfs' before---but this was borderin' on the ridiculous!--Nee kiddin!)
A groondhoppers paradise??----More like a groondhoppers nightmare, if yih ask me!!!


(APART FROM THE SCORE(S)---THAT IS!!!)




Geordie Glossary of Terms and Phrases (for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)
(in the order that they appear)


Groundhopper=spmeone who has an obsession for visiting new grounds
Boro=Middlesbrough FC
Ne=no
Yih=you
Gan=go
Wih=we
Wor=our
De=do
Doon=down
Aa/ah=I
Clever sh***=stupid
Dein'=doing
Meesel=myself
Mee=my
Reet=right
Yi=you
Naa=know
Coont=count
Robbo=Bryan Robson ---who was Boro's manager at the time (Boro=Middlesbrough FC)
Smog City=Middlesbrough
Fower=four
Anly=only
Smoggies=Middlesbrough FC/fans
Mincers=mince pies=eyes


©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺udh☺pper!)

THE BRUMMIES 0 THE TOON 2

Posted '10 am bells' Wed 16th Feb

Wor second away game in fower days waz played last neet at St Andrews in Brummieland.

A 'sprited' and 'gutsy' performance from both 'The Toon' and 'The Toon Army' started with  just 90 seconds on the clock, when Peter Lovenkrands guided the baall home from a 'Spiderman' cross at the far end from us in the heavy rain, before many of wor fans had even taken up their standin' places. (we neva! sit doon at away games!) 

Then at the start of the 2nd half we doubled wor lead in front of the 3,000 plus Toon fans when Leon Best heeded home from another 'Spiderman' cross to send both the away end and 'The Egyptian Branch' in Cairo wild with delight (see below!)
Attendance: 28,270 (Brum's highest of the season) 

Footnote: amazingly we have won more away games (5) than Premership leaders Man U (3!) and have taken 18 points away from home compared to their 17!---(we are now 9th in the table)


The Toon resorves were aalso in action last neet when they beat The Terriers of Bedlington 2-0 in The Northumberland Senior Cup at 'Blue Flames' Benton, with both wor goals comin' in the second period from Edmundsson and Knight in front of just 172 hardy souls.

Updated '9:30 am bells' Wed 17th Feb 
The Juniors lost 1-0 last neet in the 5th roond of the FA Youth Cup away to Man U @ Altrincham.
The deadlock was broken in the 64th minute when the weirdly named Ravel Morrison scored for 'the mancs' of Salford <(Accordin' to Man City fans!) 
I wasnt there as a'v 'got the T shirt' for this groond iz well!---however!---there were at least FIVE! 'mad-sad groundhoppers' who I know of, who made the trip ower the Pennines for 'this one' to 'represent us'!? ---------Attendance:657 (number of Toon fans---at least 5!))

Next archive report will now be on Friday
"TWO GAMES OF FOWER HALF'S(S)!"

SHOES OFF!---IF YI LOVE 'THE TOON'!

Posted: '9 bells' Wed 16th Feb
'Sensational pictures' from 'Reuters News Agency' have just filtered through to 'The Geordie Times' from Cairo, showin' that
'The Egyptian Branch of the Newcastle United Supporters Club' haz torned oot in force in Tahrir Square in a double celebration of wor fantastic 2-0 win at Birmingham last neet and wor amazin' comeback against 'The Arse' last week!

"SHOES OFF!---IF YI LOVE 'THE TOON'!"

Blackburn Rovers 0 The Toon 0

Posted: '10:30 a.m. bells' Sun 13th Feb
The neva endin' rollercoaster ride was an awayday @  
Blackburn 
Rovers yesterday.

We let the train tek the strain and arrived at wor destination @ '10:30 bells'. 'The Post Office' bar in Blackburn toon centre offered us 'John Smiths' extra caad at one poond sixty five a pint!----less than one thord of the price we paid at wor recent away game @ Fulham (fower quid a pint!) 
From there it was onto a club near the groond for somemore 'cheap liquid' before heedin' for the tornstiles.
In complete contrast to wor 4-4 thriller against 'The Arse' the Saturday before, this one ended nowts each with Peter Lovencrands comin' closest for us when his lob ower the goalie in the 14th minute hit the Blackburn bar. The Toon were the better team and shud have won, but wth ne recognised strikers to pick from the outcome was predictable.
4,750 Toon fans were there to witness this and afterwards we heeded back to the train station with a 'stop-off' at York for a few more 'refreshments'
in the city centre before catchin' the '125' back to Geordieland.------
Attendance: 26,781 (Rovers biggest crowd of the season so far!)

"TOON FANS DRINK BLACKBURN DRY!"


"NO BOOZE AT THE BOOZERS!"



The followin' report haz appeared in the sports section of  'The News of the World'----and I quote: "Talk about feast to famine. The poor travelling Geordie faithful had their thirst wetted by an amazing comeback against The Gunners. It's a good job they drank the local boozers dry by kick off, because there was nothing here to raise a glass to"---unquote

Next up: 'The Brummies' of Birmingham on Tuesday neet @ St Andrews in the re-arranged 'snowed off' game from December when we got within 3 miles of the groond before findin' oot that the game was off! (lets hope for better luck this time---"Eh!")

The next 'mad-sad' archive groond report will be in the next few days---- when aa get the time!
Mboro U17's v The Toon U17's & Mboro U19's v The Toon U19's! played at the same time! @ the Smoggies Rockcliffe Park trainin' groond near Darlo in 1999 (ground(s) 177 &177.5!)< it doesn't get much madder than this! 
"A GROONDHOPPERS & TRAINSPOTTERS PARADISE!"
("TWO GAMES OF FOWER HALF'S(S)!")

10 YEAR SEASON TICKET PRICE FREEEZE!

Posted '12 nooon bells' Thorsday 10th Feb 
News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that a 10 year season ticket price freeeze is to be offered to current season ticket holders.
Yih have the option of cancellin' each year, but if yih divvint cancel or forget!---(or!-- 'pop yih clogs' in the meantime!) yih money WILL automatically be taken oot of your piggy bank!---pronto!

SO!----if yih have a fatal heart attack watchin' 'The Toon' (very likely!) and gan to that great 'Level 7 Heaven' in the sky, mek sure yih cancel it!---or! yi'll  end up payin' for your seat til 2022!



"I've been dead for 5 years!---Howay the lads!"
(Somewhere in the upper reaches of 'level 7'---
a  'DIE'-hard '10 year' season ticket holder!--
-season 2021-22!)



THE TOON 4 ! THE ARSE 4 !

Attendance (at start!) 51,561 (3,500 from 'The Arse') Attendance (at end!) 46,560!

"A GAME OF TWO HALF'S----YIH NOT F*****' KIDDIN' MATE!"

Forst half:
"YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME!"

41 seconds: Walcott put's the visitors in front before many fans had even taken their seats!

2nd minute: 2-0 to The Arse (Djourou) and their fans start singin'---"You might as well go home!" 
'Fawlty Towers' who was sittin' next to me took this to mean HIM! and off he went in the direction of 'The Companions Club' in Leazes Park Road! (a new world and aallcomers record for leavin' before the end of the match!) (Attendance at this point: 51,560!)

10th minute: Van Persie adds a thord and a cricket score now looks on the cards---this results in three kiddaz in front of me leavin' their seats alang with 997 more from other parts of the groond! (Attendance at this point: 50,560!)

26th minute: Van Persie gets his 2nd and 'The Arses' 4th ----'Q' mass exordisss of a forther 1,000 or so! (Attendance at this point: 49,560!)

Second half:
A forther 3,000 or so heed for the exits before the restart, fearin' the worst! (that's 5,001 who had p****d off so far!)
(Attendance at the start of the second half: 46,560)


"THE COMEBACK OF AAALLL COMEBACKS!"

50th minute: The tornin' point of the game as Diaby is sent off for the visitors afta pushin' Joey Barton in the back of the heed

68th minute: A penalty for The Toon convorted by Joey Barton (1-4)

73rd minute: Leon Best scores, but the goal is ruled 'offside'! (later proved in TV replays to be 'onside'!)  

75th minute: Leon Best toe pokes in for us but this time the ref gives it! (2-4) 

83rd minute: Anotha penalty to us, again convorted by Joey (3-4)

87th minute: Wots left of the crowd gan wild as Tiote hits a thorty yard screamer into the corner of the net and is 'engulfed' by delirious Toon players! (4-4!) (shud have been 5-4 with the 'offside goal!)

The Arsenal fans look on in total bewilderment from Level 7 of The Leazes End---"You might as well go home lads and lasses!" ("Ha!-Ha!-Ha!") 


The 'Match of the Day' team said it aall later on:
 "It was the comeback of all comeback in Premier League history!"-----
"YI NOT F*****' KIDDIN' MATE!"

Fulham 1 The Toon 0

Posted '6 pm bells' Thorsday 3rd February

Mee gut feelin' that we didn't have anybody to replace 'yee naa who' up front came true when we lost 1-0 to Fulham at Craven Cottage.
Once we'd went behind midway through the second half by a Damian Duff effort (it HAD to be him---didn't it!?) there was 'ne way back' for 'The Toon' as by this time Shola Ameobi had went off injured with a fractured cheekbone after bein' elbowed (orly in the forst half) and quite simply we had ne one to put the baall into the net!
3,000 (plus) Toon 'suffer'agettes were there to witness this submission, but we must regroup for the game against 'The Arse' at St. James' on Saturday!
"HELP!"
Attendance: 25,620

"IF ANLY PIGS COULD FLY!?"

Posted Wednesday 2nd February
A'v just regained mee voice after the 'events' of Monday neet and the news that wor manager has AALL!? the thorty five million quid to spend soonds like good news---but!---'I BEG YOUR PARDEW'---wait a minute!---the transfor window is now closed (believe it or not, Alan!?) so how can we replace 'yee naa who' for the final run in? (we could aalways prop the defence up by fillin'  some money bags with 'the dosh' and stackin' them on the goal-line!) BUT!--whose gannih score the goals at the other end for us?

Spend it in the summer transfor window yi say?---but how much will we REEELY get ti spend????

Divvint hold yi breath!!!

Bolton resorves 4  The Toon resorves 3

We lost at Leyland last neet in the resorve league and were fower goals doon by half time. A brave fightback in the 2nd period with goals from Sammy Ameobi, Brad Inman and Adam Campbell wasn't enough and we came away pointless 

Attendance---'divvint naa!'

Tooneet it's Fulham away in London for the forst team and a'v got mee sarnies and liquid lubrication packed (with some clothes!) and am off to catch the 'twelve bells' train to King's Cross----wont be back til tomorrow afternoon!---match report to follow then!

I'M SPEEEECHLESS!

Posted late Monday neet 31st January

"IT'S MY TRAIN SET!---O.K!"



"Andy is waving goodbye!"


  

011 highfield road coventry

(GROUND NUMBER 11)
Date of First Visit: 22nd NOVEMBER 1969
HIGHFIELD ROAD, COVENTRY

COVENTRY CITY 1
NEWCASTLE UNITED 0

(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE: 31,825 (2,000 Toon fans)



"MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG!"

This was at the time of the 'Jimmy Hill revolution' at Highfield Road and when Coventry was a 'boom town'.
City's average gates were aroond aboot the 35,000 mark, and their city centre groond was considered tih be one of the best in the land.


 Whey!---it even had an electronic scoreboard!, (see above!) while most other clubs like Newcastle had tih mek de with a 'manual' scoreboard at the back of the Gallowgate End. (Which!---was operated by an aad gadgie, who put the half time scores up by hand!) Progress indeed for the 'Sky Blues!'.


Fower of wih travelled doon tih the Midlands for this game by the supporters club from Morden Street in the Haymarket, namely, 'Billy the Skin', <(the forst kid on the block to get a skinheed haircut!—braces-boots 'n' aall! ) 'Dylan' and 'Crazy Collie' (plus meesel of course!) and we had plenty of 'the broon stuff' to keep us gannin and smuggled it onto the bus. (in them days it was OK to tek drink onto busses, but WE were slightleee underage at the time (15!) so we had to 'sneak it on'!)

We were 'clammin' by the time wih got there, as we hadn't took any 'bait' to gan with the 'liquid lubrication', so wih went to a 'chippy' in the city centre for some 'Desperate Dan'.
As we were waalkin' doon a side street scranin wor 'scabby eyes' 'n' 'jockeys whips', wih saw aboot a hundred or so kiddas runnin' wor way in the distance.
Wih didn't think anything of it at forst, but the fact that we were wearin' Toon scarfs should iv rang the 'alarm bells'!.



The followin' conversation went sommik like this:
Billy: "Wonder where thih gannin---like?".

Collie: "Looks like thih heedin' this way!".

Dylan: "Thiv got Coventry scarfs on!".

Me: "F*****' HELL!---Thih after US!---LEG IT!---QUICK!".

And LEG IT!, wih did!.
Wih hoyed wor 'scabby eyes' at them (mine was meat and taatty!, and was freezin' caad anyway!) and scarpered doon the nearest back alley!. We were lucky!, and managed tih give them the slip, but it was a close caall and (thankfully!) we were still in one piece!


 Still shakin', wih headed for the match and the 'safety'? of Highfield Road. Aall the Toon fans were gannin in the 'West End', which was the Coventry 'hard end' where aall their 'fruit 'n' nut cases' went!---SO!---that's where wih heeded!.
(We were gluttons for punishment in them days!)

The Coventry fans were in full voice as wih made for centre of the said 'West End' where they were congregated, and they were singin' their favorite song---which went sommik like!:

"Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
merrily we roll along, up the Football League!"
"As we go we sing this song, sing this song, sing this song,
as we go we sing this song, sing this song for you!"
"Ci-ty!", (clap-clap-clap) "Ci-ty!", (clap-clap-clap) "Ci-ty!", etc.

The Toon fans on hearin' this, decided tih de their aan version, and substituted 'United' for 'City'. The Coventry fans were NOT! amused, and before lang a full scale battle was tekin place between the rival fans!. (there were ne segregation fences back in them days!)
At forst, the Toon 'radgies' were gettin' the upper hand, and charged at them with boots and fists flyin'!, and the Coventry fans 'legged it'. But!---they re-grouped and charged back at us!---and so it went on!.

In between aall this, ah was tryin' tih watch the game!, (Honest!) but with loads of coins 'clemmies' and 'half wollas' bein' hoyed aboot as well, this was'nt easy!.
The local 'Dibble' were havin' a field day, and quite a few Toon and City fans got 'collared', an' ended up in the cells for the neet!. (But not us!)

OH!---and the match itself!?---Well!---From warra could see?, (in between dodgin' the 'shrapnel'!)----

▼▼▼▼▼

Match (and fight!) Report here!    

 The Toon came into this game following a very useful goalless draa away to Porto in the Inter Cities Fairs Cup (now The Europa League) and made a couple of changes from the European tie.

Keith Dyson had sustained an ankle injury and was replaced by Jimmy Smith while Wyn Davies was rested and Jimmy Scott came in to lead the attack.

Although Jimmy Smith was picked as a forward, he did most of his work in midfield where he and Tommy Gibb caaz'd Coventry plenty of problems.

'Jinky Jim' held the baall up brilliantly and created more than a few openin's but unfortunately The Toons attack had little cutting edge withoot Davies and Dyson while Scotty and Pop Robson did their best work on the wings or in midfield.

With 'Jinky' there as well, wor approach work looked great but when the baall arrived in the penalty area, there was ne-one there to snap up the chances.

The footbaall flowed like vintage wine in the forst half with The Toon producing some sparklin' stuff, especially in the forst 20 minutes. After that, however, Coventry gained the upper hand and forced United back.

City gradually got more and more on top and were in danger of swampin' Newcastle but it seemed as if Lady Luck was on the side of the Geordies as 'the Sky Blues', Hunt, Machin and Blockley aall struck the Newcastle woodwork.

Iam McFaul and David Craig were superb as Coventry piled on the pressure. Twice 'Craigy' blocked shots on the goal line as we held on by the skins of wor teeth.

Just like the 'pagger' on the West End terraces the game became 'scrappy' after half time, but Ollie Burton did a good job in controllin' John O'Rourke, the former Boro striker who was making his debut for City, and Bobby Moncur somehow kept calm in the face of some comical tantrums and histrionics from the wily Setters.

Ne-one could deny that Coventry desorved to win as The Toon fell apart in the second half, but it was ironic that they scored the anly goal of the game thanks to a debatable penalty decision by the blind referee, nameleee! a Mr Sinclair of Guildford (accordin' to the prog) who adjudged Burton to have fouled Hunt inside the penalty area to concede a spot kick

There were anly ten mins to gan at this point and this provoked more fightin' in 'The Wild West' with Toon radgies 'Doddzy' and his 'side-kick' 'Proudy' both sportin' their 'trademark' butchers coats leadin' the 'charge of the light (blue) brigade!' (and yet more arrests!)

'Doddzy's favourite trick was to mek sure that there was at least one fan in front of him to shield him from 'the front line fightin' and as he shoved an unfortunate lad sportin' a black 'n' white pom pom hat towards the Coventry fans, the poor kidda was knocked clean oot with a 'Henry Cooper style' left uppercut to the chin by a City fan, who had 'ne neck' and fists like 'garden shovels' and the kidda fell to the groond, 'like a man who had just downed 20 bottles of Dog'!

Back on the field, the City man had definitely went doon ower Ollie's ootstretched leg, and just like wor friend on the terraces he fell heavily to the groond, but it looked more like a mistimed sweep at the baall, than a deliberate foul by the Welshman. (ie: HE was 'fakin it'!---wor friend WAS'NT!)

Nevertheless, Hunt (the c***!) then made a 'miraculous recovery' and picked himself up to put the penalty kick past McFaul and give Coventry the 1 – 0 win----which!----in torn, sent wih slidin' doon the table!----(and yet more fightin' between the rival factions!)

After the match it was back to the city centre for sommik to eat as we were clammin' again (we'd hoyed wor last meals at the Coventry fans--remember!) before heedin' back to the supporters club coach for the lang trip yem


Aaltogether nuw!
"Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
merrily we roll along, DOON! the Football League!"
(sic!)



 Footnote:
Highfield Road was demolished in 2005 to be replaced by a crappy hoosin' estate but their 'savin' grace'? was to leave the pitch area alone and re-grass it so fans could relive their memories of bygone matches (and fights) in 'The West End'!

"Where's 'The West End' gone--like?"









Geordie Glossary of Terms and Phrases
(for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)
(as the words appear)


whey=well
de=do
caad=cold
scarpered=ran away
aad=old
fower=four
wih=we
meesel=myself
the broon stuff=beer
gannin=going gan=go
clammin=starvin
liquid lubrication=beer
desperate dan=scran=food (glorious food!)
scabby eyes=pies
jockeys whips=chips (nicked from 'cockney rhymin' slang!')
wor=our
(the)toon=Newcastle United FC
hoyed=thrown hoy=threw
radgies=idiots
clemmies=stones
half wollas=bricks
dibble=policeman
pager=fight
mek=make
20 bottles of dog=20 bottles of Newcastle brown ale
Sommik=something




©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)