Posted 'from 11am bells' onwards, on the way back from Brightin, Sunday 3rd September 2023
*A WEEKEND OF WOE!
*This woz one of the worst away trip that we have ever been on!
As divvint want to bore yoo to death—-but I WILL!
Mee diary from Thorzday onwards reads like this: Did mee normal 450 miles truck run from Tyneside to Redditch and back and got stuck in a traffic jam on the M1 for half an hour on the way back at 10:30pm bells and had to take an extra 45 mins break because of it!
Got to bed at 3:30 bells for 6 hours and then had to drag Meesel oot of mee pit to catch a train to London at high noon bells on Friday (a train strike with very limited services on Saturday forced wor hands!)
On arrival at Kings Cross (London)we caught a tube train to Edgeware Road and another one to Wimbledon!
From there we got a bus to Kingston (which woz SO full passenger were actually sitting on the stairs)and another one to Dorking where we were stayin for the neet! In total it took 8 hours to get there! (There were nee trains from London to Dorking coz of the strike!) We had a canny few gargels in numerous boozers and let’s say that one of wor company had to be virtually carried back to the hotel, az he woz much the worse for wear!!
Next day Sarnie Steve, (who woz workin in Reading) picked us up in his jam jar and off we set to wor final destination—-an expensive minus 3 star hotel on the Brightin seafront! £96 each!—nee brekky included!)
After droppin’ wor bags off it woz time for a few gargels in Brightin before catching the train to the ground which iz aboot 6 miles from the centre!
And then more ‘purgatory ’ —-The match! Az we were gannin in a sniffer dog made straight for Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer and he woz stopped and searched for drugs and had to empty his pockets oot!?
He eventually got to the tornstiles but his ticket woz rejected (az NUFC said some would be) so he had to trail halfway around the ground to ticket office window 10 where NUFC staff asked him for photo ID to prove that the ticket woz hiz! They gave him a new ticket and he eventually got in! Hiz new name iz Blondie Alan the Drug Dealer!
We then made for wor seats az Toon fans started hoyin beer ower each other! (At £6 a pint!)
Honestly,! This woz the worst ever display under Eddie Howe with several missed chances gannin abeggin from Isak and Co! It woz like gannin back to the Steve Bruce era!
The Pope woz at fault for the first goal when a rebounded kick off him found teenager Ferguson and had the easy task of scorin from the edge of the box! 1-0 to them at HT
Despite the aaful performance from NUFC, where virtually every player under performed, the 3,000 Toon fans were in good voice and singin songs aboot the Champions Leegue!
It woz 2-0 when Ferguson hit a screamer from ootside the box az The Pope tried in vain to save it!
It woz soon 3-0 to them when a deflected shot off Ferguson wrang footed Pope to give him his hat-trick!
A consolation goal from super sub Callum Wilson near the end made it 3-1 to Brightin!
7 minutes stoppage time woz added to compound wot misery!
We heeded for the seafront after the game for a few drownin of the sorrows gargels before retiring back to the hotel!
At 6:08am bells pressisleee ah nearly had a heart attack when the very loud fire 🚨 alarm went off which (of course!) woke me up and there woz a mad scramble to get some clothes on and dash doon the 3 flights of narrow stairs to get oot! It woz a false alarm of course!—Wot else could possibly gan wrang????
Today, before leavin we had ‘breakfast at Tiffany’s ower the road from the hotel before the lang 370 mile road jorney back to Tyneside—where I did this report on the M25, M11 and A1 gettin stuck in traffic jams!
MAGICAL MYSTERY AWAY PUB CRAWL TOUR 2023-2034
8 Boozers visited in Dorking and Brightin---runnin total 27
DORKING
BRIGHTIN
On the concourse before the game!
*On the ‘tool shed’ waall!
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