(Mee 'expensive' computaa is still 'workin itsel'!)
'GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUSIVE!'
"HENRY THE EIGHTH ISN'T DEED!"
|"SOMEWHERE IN ST KATHRINES DOCK!"|
The neet before the Chelsea game we heeded for St Kathrine's Dock near The Tower of London and after many 'liquid refreshments' we ended up in a 'Tudor style boozer' where wenches were servin' aall manner of food and drink to a weddin' party!
Aaall of a sudden a big fat ugly gadgie appeared at the top table dressed in Tudor costume and I recognised him straightaway as HENRY THE EIGHTH!
He's very much alive and 'kickin', believe you me!, so rumours that he died some 500 years ago (rough estimate!) are simply not true! (It's amazin' wot yih can see after two gallons of 'hootch'!)
After a 'big b*****ds brekky' to get rid of wor hangowers at 'Tower Hill Wetherspoons' it was off to Earls Court to meet the rest of the crew in 'The Blackbird' and to tell them aall aboot wor amazin' meetin' with 'Henry' the neet before! (I think? they believed me!???)
It was then onward to Stamford Bridge for the '1:30 bells' kick off for wot was now a meaningless game as Chelsea had forsaken their title to 'The Cockney Reds' the day before!
A dramatic heeded equaliser by Steven Taylor deep into stoppage time salvaged a point for the jubulant 'Toon Army' who had paid FIFTY QUID for the 'privalege' of standin' in the corner of 'The Shed'.
The game didn't start off well though, as Chelsea were 'one up' afta just 2 minutes when a 'corner that wasn't' was given which resulted in the home side tekin the lead (I was directly above the goaline in the away corner and I can tell yiz catorgoricalleee that the baall didn't gan oot for a corner)
Justice was done however 8 minutes later when a Ryan Taylor free kick deflected off 'Spiderman' and went directly into the Chelsea net past the stranded goalie 'Cech'
The Blues retook the lead with just 7 miutes remainin' when Krul in the Newcastle goal failed to reach a cross from a free kick and Alex nodded in from close ramge and it looked 'curtains' for us!
That's until Steven Taylor 'used hiz heed' for that dramatic leveller!
Footnote: Sammy Ameobi came on as one of wor subs in the 2nd half to join his 'bruvver' 'Shola' on the pitch. This iz the forst time a'v EVER seen 'bruvvers' play together for us in a forst team league game.
(The last one's to do so were 'The Robledo bruvvers' in the orly 1950's--lang before aa was thought of!)
Attendance: 41,739 (1,500 happy Toon fans!)