THE TOON 2 FIORENTINAA 0 *** SELA CUP

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Sunday 6th August 2023

A 2-0 win ower Italian opposition Fiorentinaa with goals from Miggy Almiron at The Leazes End in the forst half and from Alexander(Isak) the Great at The Gallowgate End in the 2nd half, sealed this vicory in front of wot looked like a sub 30,000 crowd in sub summer temperatures! (ie: Not much global warmin' roond these parts!) 

Sandro Tonali made hiz debut and he created a few good chances, while 17 year old Lewis Miley woz the man of the match with a great display! Elliot Anderson aalso had a great game!

The breakthrough came in the 38th minute when Isak sent a precision pass to Almiron and he colly placed the baall into the Leazes net!

Isak's goal in the 2nd period came in the 82nd minute, when he heeded in a Trippier corner and into the Gallowgate net to collect the 3 points plus 2 bonus points for the 2 goals scored! 

The win meeenz that we are unbeaten so far in 6 pre season games!(Won 4, drawn 2)

Earlier Villarreal of Spain and Nice of France drew 1-1 meeenin that NUFC top the group after one game each!

PS: After wor game The Toon lasses beat West Brom lasses 3-0 to complete a Toon 'double'!

Wor 2nd game iz today at '4:00 bells' v Villarreal and victory (with an entirely different team to yesterday’s) will secure the Sela Cup, provided neethaa Nice or Fiorentina dont score a boatload of goals!--Their game kicks off at '2:00 bells'

A match report on wor game will appear here sometime on Munday!

THE MATCH PROGRAMME WHICH COVERS AALL THE GAMES OWER 2 DAYS

Am not sayin that The Leazes End (companions) woz empty after the game—-but!     PS: a few came in after as took this photo!

"HAY HO LETS GO!---HAY HO TINO!"

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 4th August 2023

Wor 3rd major signin in the transfor window haz joined NUFC!

Valen(Tino) Livramento haz signed from relegated Sooothampton for a fee reported to be aroond aboot the £40 milion mark and will swap those horrible red n white Sooothampton stripes for the MAGnificent black n white stripes of NUFC!

He's a right back and iz 20 years old and iz an Ing-er-land U21 international!

Meeenwhile! we play the forst of 2 home games in 2 days v Fiorentina of Italy on Saturday ('3:30 bells') and Villarreal of Spain on Sunday ('4:00 bells') in The Sela Cup! 

Nice of France play Villarreal before wor game on Saturday '12:30 bells')---and after wor game the NUFC lasses team takes the field against WBA Women ('6:00 bells')

Before wor game on Sunday Fiorentina play Nice ('1;00 bells')

Tournament format: 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and an additional 1 point for every goal scored!

We fully expect that 2 completleee different NUFC teams will appear on Saturday and Sunday!

We understand that the top tiers of The Milburn and Leazes Stand will be empty, meeenin a crowd of under 40,000 iz expected! (Mainly due to the high ticket prices of £55 for the 2 days!)

"WHERE WERE YOO WHEN WE WERE SH*TE!"?

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 3rd August 2023

(FROM TWITTER)

For fans cryin that they cannit get away tickets, my question iz this:  "Where were yoo when 'The Fat Controller' woz in charge and Alan Pardew, Steve McClaren and  'Broken Nose Bruce' were wor managers"??? 

Loyalty points often went doon to zero and they even went on general sale to anybody who wanted one!!! (So fans had plenty of time to build up their points!)

ie: "Where were yoo when we were 💩"?????

WHY CHANGE SOMETHING THAT WORKS PERFECTLY OK?

 Posted just before ‘high noon bells’ Wedinzday 2nd August 2023

News that the new digital ticket system has encoonted problems even before it’s started, reaches The Geordie Times!

Corporate hospitality fans have received the above e mail!—- But NOT the riff-raff like us!---"YET!"

And suppose yoo don’t have a printer? Like little old me???

The old system , where yoo had a plastic credit card size season ticket or a paper ticket to enter the stadium worked perfectly OK-so why change it for something that is prone to signal or electrical failure!?

We await with bated breath to see if wor phone tickets work this weekend for the Sela Cup and next week against Villa in wor first premyaa Leegue game!???

PS: Just hord that there will be CASH TORNSTILES in operation!!!!

TAXI FOR MAXI!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuezday 1st August 2023

News that we aall expect that Allan Saint Maximin haz been transfered to Saudi club Al Ahil for a reported £23million haz finally happened!

He loves The Toon and in a farewell message on social media, he said that he iz heartbroken to leave!💔

We will miss hiz mazy dribbles, acrobatics (and crazy hair duwz!) and we wish him aall the very best with hiz new Saudi club (and very fat pay check!)

Maxi’s brilliant message to Toon fans!

FAN-PARK TO OPEN BY NOVEMBER

 Posted 5:20pm bells 🔔 Munday 31st July 2023

NUFC have said that a fan park will open behind The Gallowgate End by the end of November in conjunction with ‘STACK’ pub chain and will show live NUFC games home and away on a big screen in the complex! Great news for those who cannot get into games because of the massive demand!

More to follow when we find oot!

As per usual “Watch this space!”

THE TOON 2 BRIGHTIN 1 *** USA SUMMER SERIES

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' onwards Saturday 29th July 2023

2 goals from Elliot Anderson late on, sealed this victory in The Red Bull Arena in wot can anly be described az a 'faall asleep game'!

This line up woz completleee different to the line up in Atlanta 2 days before az 'Steady Eddie' made full use of the squad he had taken across the 'pond'! (See the different line ups below)

The forst half woz aaaful and coz of the '12:30am bells' kick off aa woz faallin asleep in a relations hoose az aa watched on the big screen after a heavy drinkin session in The Toon! HT 0-0

"ZZZZzzzzzz!"

The 2nd half started off with Brighton attackin wor goal on the right of the screen and within 4 minutes when a Nick Pope save foond Welbeck and from 2 yards oot he had a simple tap in that your great granny could have scored!  1-0 to 'them'

Just when it looked az though we would lose the game az time ran oot up stepped Elliot Anderson in the 88th minute who woz put through by Jacob Murphy and he hammered the baall home from 6 yards oot to level the tie! (This 'sort of' woke me up!)

A 3rd draw in a row in The Summer Series looked on the cards, but Anderson won the game for us deep into stoppage time az he fired home a low shot into the net to send the 3 of us watchin on into wild celebrations!---So wild that aa nearly knocked ower the bottle of Dog aa woz drinkin onto the carpet!

There woz hardy time to restart the game and 10 seconds later the ref blew for full time! 2-1 to 'us'

The result meeenz that we have a chance to win the tournament, dependin on othaa results on Sunday!---Az per usual "Watch this space!" to find oot if we did!

Attendance: 26,150

COMPARE THE LINE UPS FROM THE LAST 2 GAMES 

TOP v BRIGHTIN *** BOTTOM v CHELSEE

Again, special thanx to 'Paul the Inglishman' for boozer and stadium pix!🤪👍🍺

Safe flight(s) back lads n lasses!✈🛩

THE TOON v BRIGHTIN *** USA SUMMER SERIES

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Friday 28th July 2023

Tooneet in America (or here in the orly hours of Saturday) NUFC play Brightin in the last of the 'USA Summer Series' games!

We've drawn the previous 2 against Villa and Chelsee, so we are hopin for a '3rd time lucky' win to roond off the series!

This time the game iz in the 25,000 capacity Red Bull Arena in Harrison, New Jersey (near New York) with the temperature set to hit the 35 degrees mark when the game kicks off at '12:30am bells GMT (Geordie Meeen Time!) The game iz a complete selloot!

Again we are relyin on 'Paul the Inglishman' to send us some photos like he haz done for the previous 2 games! (Cheers Paul!)

Az per usual "Watch this space!" for a match report and pix, sometime tomorrow!

THE TOON 1 THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS 1 *** USA SUMMER SERIES

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' (onwards!) Thorzday 27th July 2023

ALMIRON'S GOAL (ARROWED)

The second draw in a row for NUFC in the 'Summer Series', this time in Atlanta's unreal stadium with a closed roof and air conditionin'!

"THE STADIUM HAZ LANDED!"----"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

We went behind in the 12th minute against the run of play when Chelseee'z Jackson scored the opener!

Miggy Almiron equalised deep into forst half stoppage time when Anthony Gordon fed the baall to him with a fantastic pass and he made nee misstayk with hiz shot!---Miggy actually played here 4 years ago and he got a great reception from the 71,000 selloot crowd!

There woz nee more scorin in the second period and this woz a good workoot for the team!  We used 16 players will wor opponents used 19

Special thanx to 'Paul the Inglishman for photos from the game etc! 🤪👍