THE TOON v CHELSKI *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 12th May 2018

 THE PANORAMIC VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND

LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE NORTH SEA, 8 MILES AWAY!

On Sunday we play wor last game of the season which iz at home to Chelski!

The target iz a top 10 finish, but wor recent upsurge haz went 'off the rails' with 4 defeats on the bounce after 4 wins on the bounce!

A win would guarantee 10th place, but anything else and we will surely drop doon the table, az there are 4 clubs on 41 points--but NUFC have the best goal difference of them aall!

Chelski on the othaa hand are chasin' a Champions Leegue place, but its oot of their hands if Liverpool win to claim the 4th slot!

This will be wor 41st competitive game of the season, which equals the lowest total we have had since the 38 game Premier Leegue came into force!

That's 38 plus 2 in the FA Cup and 1 in the Leegue Cup! (We anly played 41 games 2 seasons ago az well!)

The BIG question on everybody's lips---iz!---WILL Rafa stay OR WILL he gan!----It aall depends on one person of course, who hardy attends any games at aall theeze days!

We await with baited breath for the outcome of the talks---we will surely find oot before the month ends!

Lets hope (and pray!) that it's a good outcome!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Munday!

Meeenwhile!  Az we have yet anothaa free Saturday, we are off to sunny Consett where The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston are takin on The Bishops of Auckland in The Northern Leegue Cup final at 3 bells!

V

A match report on that game to follow later!😨

SPORZ 1 THE TOON 0 ***PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '9:40am bells' Thorsday 10th May 2018 on the train back from London!

THE TOON (in blue) ATTACK 'THE TOON END' (1st half)

"WEMBLEY WOE CONTINUES!"

For the 7th time in a row NUFC lost at Wembley! A run stretchin' back 44 years to 1974!
Indeed, yoo have to gan back 63 years for the last time we won there!---The FA Cup in 1955!

We played much better than the last 2 away games, but the Wembley curse continued unabaited, az a Harry Kane goal in the 50th minute woz enough to win the game for the north London side!

Jonjo Shelvey hit the  post from a dead baall kick in the forst half, but this woz az close az we got to scorin'!

DUBRAVKA PREPARES TO TAKE A GOAL KICK (1st half)

Both Gayle and Perez up front, were inefective and they fluffed their lines on numerous occasions!
And sub Murphy had a great chance near the end, but blazed hiz effort ower the bar!
In contrast wor goalie Dubravka made several good saves to keep the score doon, in a game we shud have grabbed at least a draw!

After winnin 4 games in a row we have now lost 4 in a row, so its just az well that we've got the points on board to claim safety!

'Geordie Times' fact file: With a capacity of 90,000, Wembley iz the biggest groond we have played on for a LEEGUE game! (35,077 empty seats for this game!)
This woz wor 57th Premyaa Leegue groond we have played on---and 'The Geordie Times' haz been to aall 57 of them!

I am writin this on the train back from King's Cross, but the toss pot of a train driver iz joltin the train from side to side and makin it very difficult to write!

More to follow when aa get yem at dinnaatime!

Updated from 'high noon bells' onwards!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Ritchie, Diame, Shelvey, Kenedy (Murphy 71), Perez, Gayle (Joselu 76)

Attendance: 54,923 (3,132 Toon fans)
I would estimate that no more than 5 or 6 Toon fans present last neet, would have ever seen us win at Wembley (ie: yoo would need to be at least 70 years old to witness wor last victory!)---and I would estimate that at least half of wor away followin', were watchin' NUFC at Wembley for the forst time ever! (Its 18 years since we last played there, before yesterday!)

PS: Personally, I have witnessed the 7 defeats!
Am I a jinx?😨

The pre and post match 'gargels' took place in various parts of London! "Lets gan on 'the hoy'--in May--and enjoy!"

SPORZ V THE TOON *** TOONEET AT WEMBLEY!

Updated 'high noon bells' Tuesday 8th May 2018

We are of to 'The Smoke' (London) yet again at dinnaatime, just 4 days aftaa retornin' from there, when we played at Wotfaad on Saturday!

Sporz are wor opponents at Wembley Stadium in wor last away game of the season.

We have played here before (and lost!) on numerous occassions, the last one bein' an FA Cup semi final defeat to Chelski, in the old Wembley 18 years ago in 2000!

This, however will be wor forst visit to the home of Inglish futbaall since the place woz rebuilt and iz a new Premyaa Leegue groond to 'tick off'! ✅ Wor 57th in total since the Premyaa woz formed in 1991-92

We are on the '1:30 bells' train to KX (King's Cross, London) and shud be 'on the hoy' by '5 bells' at the latest!
Wor allocation in the 90,000 seat arena iz a 'paltry' 3,232 in the South West Corner!

There will of course be a compreeehesive match report and pub pix report to follow sometime on Thorsday---probably on the train back--az a'v got to gan to graft on Thorsday afternooon!

RED ARROWS TRIBUTE!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Munday 7th May 2018

In celebration of sund'lind's MAGnificent achievement in bein' relegated 2 seasons in a row, Toon fans had a whiproond and booked 'The Red Arrows' display team, who flew from Newcasil airport (coz sund'lind divvint have one!) to fly ower the SOS on Sunday to commemorate their relegation to Leegue 1!

The red and white smoke trails represent the colours of some of the teams who the mackems will play next season, ie: Accrington Stanley, Fleetwood Toon, Waalsaall and Doncastaa Rovers!

The blue and white smoke trails represents Wycombe Wanderers, Rochdale, Peterboro United, Sooothend, Bristol Rovers and 'good old' Gillingham who relegated them to the 3rd 'tear' in 1987!

The black smoke trails represents anothaa 'black day' in their history, az Burton Albion relegated them last week-----and they will have to play them again next season!

"ENJOY BURTON!" ("AGAIN!")

PS: When 'The Toon' were relegated to The Championship in 2016, mackem fan steve cram sent a text to Toon fan Brendan Foster, tellin' him to "Enjoy Burton!"

Brendan haz now got hiz revenge and haz sent cram a text with directions to FLEETWOOD!
☺😊😀😁😂😃😄😅

WOTFAAD 2 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:30am bells' Sunday 6th May 2018

THE TOON (in blue) ATTACK THE VICARAGE ROAD END (2nd half)

For the thord game in a row we put in a poor show az the 'current bun' shon brightly for the blue sky above!

It took Wotfaad just 2 minutes to breach wor defence when a Dummett blunder let in Pereyra who had the simple task of tappin the baall into the net in front of the 2,000 Toon fans in the away section!

It got worse in the 28th minute when a Pereyra cross foond the heed of Gray who rose to heed past Dubravka in The Toon goal!

A dubious penalty woz then awarded to the home side, but Dubravka saved Deeney's effort and 2nd attempt with hiz feet to loud cheers from the away end!

HT 2-0 to Wotfaad!

We played a little better in the 2nd period and pulled a goal back when Manquillo crossed the baall from the left which foond Perez who slammed home from close in, to give us hope of salvegin' sommik from the game!

Despite heavy pressure to get the equaliser, it 'wasn't to be' and we lost for the thord game in a row!
This woz Wotfaad's forst win in 8 attempts!

Amazingly, we are still in 10th place in the table on goal difference (just!) and we heed back to King's Cross and onward to Wembley for wor last away game v Sporz at Wembley on Wednesday neet!
(It's aall go!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo (Yedlin 67), Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Murphy (Ritchie 53), Diame (Merino 84), Shelvey, Kenedy, Perez, Gayle

Attendance: 20,375 (2,000 sun tanned Toon fans!)
*
PS: Congratulations to Rochdale who won 1-0 yesterday to avoid relegation to Leegue 2----guess who they'll be playin' next season??? 😊😀😁😂😃😄😅

Footnote: For those of yoo who are travellin' to sund'linds home game v Wolves this afternoon, the AA have put up direction signposts to get yoo to the SOS in time for the '12:30 bells' kick off!

"LETS GAN ON THE HOY--IN MAY--AND ENJOY!"---IN WOTFAAD!

Posted from high noon bells onwards in London and Wotfaad!"

EUSTON TAP

WOTFAAD V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 4th May 2018

We heed for the delights of Vicarage Road just ootside London, for wor penultimate away game of the season ⬅(that's wor 2nd last away game to aall yee ignoramasussesss!) where we take on Elton John's Mob in a '3 bells' kick off!
Not suprizingleee, we have sold wor allocation of 2,000 tickets for The Vicarage Road End!

With wor safety from 'the drop' now assured we can anly hope that we put in a better performance than we did against ' rock bottom' West Brom in wor last game! (When 'we' put in a rock bottom' display!)

Az per usual we travel by train to King's Cross tomorrow mornin' (London) and then onward by tube to Wotfaad Junction station, where there are quite a few 'waaterin' holes' on the way to the groond! ("Lets gan on hoy!--in May---and enjoy!🍺😊)

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here sometime on Sunday!
"Watch this space!"

"BARMY SLIMANI!" *** 3 MATCH BAN!

Updated '1:15pm bells' Thorsday 3rd May 2018

SLIMANI TRIES TO 'LAUGH OFF' HIZ KICK ON DAWSON,

AZ ANGRY WEST BROM PLAYERS SUROOND HIM!

News that Toon on loan striker Islam Slimani haz been banned for 3 matches for violent conduct after kickin' West Brom defender Craig Dawson in the penalty box on Saturday, haz reached The Geordie Times!

When yoo 'fink' aboot it, thiz on loan signin' from Lestaa in the January window, haz been a complete disaster!

He missed the games v Bornley, Bournemoooth, Palace, Man U, The Liverbirds and Soothampton, because of injury!

Came on az sub for Dwight Gayle v 'uddersfield (15 mins)

Then had to miss the game at Lestaa coz it woz hiz parent club!

Came on az sub for Gayle v The Arse (27 mins)

Started game v Evaatin and lasted 63 mins before bein' substituted by Gayle!

Came on az sub for Gayle v WBA and lasted 25 mins--- but hiz partin' 'shot woz the kick at the West Brom defender!

BANNED for Wotfaad game on Saturday!

BANNED for Sporz game next Wednesday!

BANNED for last game of the season v Chelski a week on Sunday!


On top of that, hiz performances in the 130 minutes he HAZ played, have been indifferent to say the least!
He HASN'T completed 90 minutes in any of the 4 games he haz played in!---
Thats 3 substitute appearences and 1 Start!---and NE GOALS!

Summery: Oot of the 11 games since hiz loan signin' in January, he haz played in 4 (3 az sub--1 subbed), been injured for 6 games, had to miss Lestaa game and iz banned for wor last 3 games for violent conduct!


"WOT A WASTE OF TIME!"😨

THE TOON U23s 3 MORPETH TOON 1 *** NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP FINAL

Posted '12:55pm bells' Thorsday 3rd May 2018

"IT'S WOR CUP!"

The Toon's 2nd string won The Northumberland Senior Cup when they beat Northern Leegue side Morpeth Toon 3-1 at St James' Park last neet!

The goal sequences were az follows:
15th min: Callum Roberts jinked roond a Morpeth defender to slam home hiz shot from inside the box!

45th minute: Liam Henderson equalises for the Northumbrians with a shot from close in!

62nd min: Roberts gets hiz 2nd goal when he fires in from a cross!

90mins: Dan Barlaser completes the scorin' in the last minute of game for the 3-1 win and The Toon lift the cup for the 1st time in 4 years!

Attendance: just 1,224 includin' quite a few from Morpeth!

THE TOON U23s v MORPETH TOON**** NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP FINAL **** TOONEET!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wednesday 2nd May 2018

Wor second string take on Morpeth at SJP tooneet in The Northumberland Senior Cup final at '7 30 bells'

Admission iz via The East Stand and everyone must pay to get in (season ticket card invalid for this game!)

Its £7 for big kids and £3 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

Unfortunately 'yorz trulee' cant be there through work commitments! BUT! we will send one of wor rovin reporters to the game and a match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!
Az per usual---watch this space!