FIXTURE CHANGE AZ EVERTON BEAT YOUNG BOYS! <(NOT literally!)

Posted '2:00pm bells' Friday 27th February 2015

'The Toffee Noses' 7-2 aggregate win against Young Boys of Switzerland in the Europa Leegue meens that wor away game against them haz been moved from Saturday 14th March to Sunday 15th March with a '4 bells' kick off time! (Az they will now be playin' in Europe the previous Thorsday neet!)

THE TOON v THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOON!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 27th February 2015

ACTION FROM LAST SEASON @ SJP---NUFC WON 1-0 (REMY)

Tomorrow @ '3 bells' we face a 'six pointer' when we take on basement boys Villa @ St James' Park and a win would see us move 13 points clear of them and forthaa away from the relegation zone!
A draw or defeat however will see us hoverin' above 'the abyss' and with ne home wins since December, this iz not beyond the realms of possibility!

Since 'Whey Aye the Pie' Carver took charge at the start of January wor home record reads: Won NONE, Drawn TWO, Lost ONE

Squad news: Spiderman Gutierrez retorns to the fray after a lang illness and iz sure to receive a rapturous welcome shud he come on and we wish him well!

Jack Colback starts a 2 match ban for receivin' hiz TENTH bookin' of the season against Man City last week, while De Jong, Dummett, Steve Taylor and Tiote are aall oot through injuries!

Amazingleee!---(considerin' wor plight!) there will be a 52,000 crowd in attendance az the anly tickets left on sale are the 300 returned by Villa, who will have a 2,700 followin' in 'level 7' of The Leazes End!

History lesson: We forst played Villa @ St James' Park 117 years ago on 1st October 1898 when we drew 1-1 in an old 1st Division game. Ootside right, Joe Rogers got wor goal in front of a 25,000 crowd that day!

Geordie Times history: 1975! when we won 3-0 with Supermac scorin' twice and Tommy Craig gettin' the othaa in front of  35,604 (Can't remember which 'end' I waz in that day?)

A 3-0 win tomorrow would de very nicely---but divvint haad yer breath!

Aall time record: We have played 'The Hazbeenz & Villians' a total of 158 times in wor history and have won 69, drawn 34, lost 55 times!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report & pix will appear here sometime on Sunday---az per usual ---"watch this space!"

ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. !

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 25th February 2015

Aa listened to Man City's Champions Leegue game against Barcelona on mee truck radio az aa travelled doon to the Bormingham area and in the forst half 'Barca' were a class above their Inglish rivals and could easily have been 5 up by half time! (it ended up 2-0 in their favour!)

Flashback to Saturday evenin' when City were the dominant force against 'us' and again could and shud have been 5 up at half time (3-0 actually!)

It's hard to believe that less than 18 years ago WE led Barcelona 3-0 through a Tino Asprilla hat-trick in the Champions Leegue in 1997 where WE tore the Spaniards apart!

Can yoo imagine wot 'Barca' would de to us now????---That game seems like a MILLION YEARS AGO (B.C!) (Before Carver!)

THE JOHN ALDER COLLECTION AUCTION

Posted '1:11pm bells' Tuesday 24th February 2015

THE 3 TOP PROGRAMME'S IN THE DISPLAY CABINET
FETCHED AN AMAZIN' £5,560 IN TOTAL!

We are pleased to tell yoo that the auction of 'The Undertaker's' memorabilia raised ower £26,000!

Aaltogether there were an amazin' 240 lots which took several hours to auction!


JUST SOME OF HIZ VAST COLLECTION!

£3,200 waz raised for the 1924 FA Cup final programme---£560 for the 1932 FA Cup final programme and £1,800 for the rare Pecsi Dozsa programme from the 1970 Fairs Cup run!

John's last match programme and a 1970's scarf waz bought for £240 and £200 respectively by hiz family who wanted them az a lastin' reminder of him!

SOME MORE RARE PROGRAMMES
AND HIZ 1970's SCARF! (middle shelf)

Aall proceeds went to The Bobby Robson Foundation.

John waz without doubt The Toon's number ONE fan AND collector and he (and Liam, who waz with him on that ill fated flight to New Zealand) are sadly missed by aall who knew them!

RIP JOHN and LIAM

THE BLUE MOONIES 5 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Updated '11:30am bells' Munday 23rd February 2015

THE TOON ON A RARE ATTACK IN THE 2nd HALF

"HOW MANY GOALS THIS TIME!?????"

Forst of aall, apologies for not updatin' this 'horror show report' yesterday, but aa waz at 'The John Alder Collection Auction' @ St James' Park yesterday mornin', where a Magnificent £26,000 waz raised by the sale of aall hiz vast memorabilia! <(more on that tomorrow!)

'Apologies' were aalso forthcomin' from 'John "whey aye the pie" Carver' for wor abject display @ The City of Manc Stadium, when we gave away wot iz surely the quickest ever penalty, conceded by Anita with just 27 seconds on the clock when he torned the wrang way and brought Dzeko doon in the box! (Anita Harris would have done better!) ^^^^^

Convorted by  Aguaro we were soon 2 behind 10 mins later when Nasri had aall the time in the world to place hiz shot past Tim Krul in The Toon goal to end the contest then and there!--after ELEVEN MINUTES!

It waz at this point I wished I waz in a boozer somewhere gettin' totally 'sloshed' to obliterate the shambles unfoldin' in front of me, from my memory!

The Toon fans behind Krul's goal were resigned to wor fate and it waz just a question of when 'The Blue Moonies' would get their thord az we were absolutleee aaful once again on wor travels!

The 3rd came of course!---in the 21st minute, when Dzeko simply waalked through wor 'defence'? to place hiz shot beyond wor beleaguered keeper!

'Pie-man' Carver <(he likes the odd 'snake and pigmy' variety!) and the rest of hiz coachin' staff just sat rooted in the away dugoot, not naain just wot to de az they twiddled their thumbs and scratched their heeds! <(white flags at the ready!)


1st HALF ACTION (view from row 'W' seat 377 Sooth Stand level 1)


Somehow we got to the break withoot concedin' any more---but again we wondered just how many the home side would get in the 2nd period, such waz the huge gulf in class between the 2 sides! < (aboot az wide az the mouth of the Tyne!)

It didn't take lang!---6 minutes!---when Silva hammered the baall past Krul and just 2 minutes later he added a 2nd, similar to hiz forst! 5-0! with still 38 minutes on the clock and anothaa hammerin' waz on the cards!
However==for reasons unknown, City took their foot off the gas and thanx mainly to Tim Krul who made some great saves, nothin' more waz added to wor 'away goals column'!
A 5-0 defeat somehow felt like a relief!---theeze are indeed dire times for anyone who follows the 'black & whites'!
Just look at wor away record this season against the current top 7 at the moment: Chelski 0-2 --- Man City 0-5 --- The Arse 1-4 --- Man U 1-3 --- Sooothampton 0-4 ---  The Liverbirds "still to play!" (last season  1-2) ---Sporz 0-4

We just can't hack it against the 'big boys' <("er!" Sooothampton az well???) That's ELEVEN leegue defeats in a row against 'The Blue Moonies'---a shockin' record that iz the worst in wor history!

Carver's CV now reads: Played 8, won ONE game in TWO months, drawn 3, lost 4!
Toon fan 'Tex Taylor' who waz fortunate not to be there and watched it on the telly, said yesterday: "We may az well be in The Championship!---at least we won't get humiliated there!" <(divvint bet on it!)

Toon team: Krul. Janmaat (Ryan Taylor 70), Coloccini, Williamson, Haidara, Sissoko, Anita (Abeid 46), Colback, Perez, Cisse, Gouffran (Obertan 86) <(why???)

Attendance: 45, 602 (just 2,000 Toon fans in the lower tier of the away end) <(we sold both tiers for the Leegue Cup tie!) *


The pre and post match 'gargels' took place here!

Manchester

Manchester

York (on the way back!)

 

THE BLUE MOONIES v THE TOON *** TOMORROW TEATIME

Posted '12:12pm bells' Friday 20th February 2015

HAPPY TIMES!---THE LEEGUE CUP ORLIER THIS SEASON --WE WON 2-0!

Tomorrow we are off to Eastlands for the 2nd time this season when we take on Man City in a live telly game @ '5:30 bells' and can anly hope that the result iz the same az the last time we were here in The Leegue Cup a few months ago, when we won 2-0 thanx to goals from Aarons and Sissoko!

However!---in the Premyaa Leegue era we have lost the last TEN times against them <(which surely must be an unwanted record?) and wor prospects look bleak to say the least, given wor current form!

There are a number of 'crocked' NUFC players who will NOT be participatin': Steve Taylor, Siem De Jong and Paul Dummett will aall be missin', while Remy Cabella and Cheik Tiote's fitness remains a big worry!

The game iz a complete sell-oot, but we have ne idea if NUFC have taken up wor full allocation of tickets for the away end like we did in The Leegue Cup! <(we shall see!)

History lesson: We forst played Man City 115 years ago (sorry! 122 years ago!) on 21st October 1893 @ Hyde Road when they went by their previous name of 'Ardwick'
We won 3-2 thanx to goals from Joe Wallace, Tom Crate and an own goal and 3,000 were present in this old 2nd Division game.

In total we have played them 173 times, winnin' 71, drawin' 39 and losin' 63 times!

'Geordie Times' history: An FA Cup replay @ Maine Road 46 years ago when we lost 2-0 in front of a 60,000 plus crowd! (Archive match report below---ground 007)  *

A full Geordie Times match report on tomorrow's game will appear here sometime on Sunday (hopefully!?)

JOHN THE UNDERTAKER'S MEMORABILIA SALE *** THIS SUNDAY @ SJP

Posted '12:39 pm bells' Thorsday 19th February 2015

The vast collection of programmes, books and othaa memorabilia of The Toon's number one fan and great friend of ours, John 'The Undertaker', gans on sale in an auction @ St James' Park this Sunday with aall procceds gannin to The Bobby Robson Foundation

John, tragically lost hiz life alang with fellow Toon fan and friend 'Liam from the Lamp' in the MH17 horror. (when their plane waz shot doon ower the Ukraine az they travelled to New Zealand to watch The Toon)
John waz an unbelievable supporter who had anly missed one game in ower 40 years (due to a family bereavement) and had visited a grand total of ethaa 332 or 333 grounds (we're not sure exactly) to watch NUFC's 1st team, the resorve and junior teams in action!
(We believe that this iz the most by ANY fan from ANY club!) 

He had aalso been to 116 consecutive European competition games home and away az well!---from 1977 onwards!
(Again---a record that will be hard to beat!)

Viewin' starts on Saturday from '10:00 bells' to '4:00 bells' and again on Sunday from '10:00 bells' til noon when the auction starts!
There are 224 lots aaltogether in hiz huge collection and lot prices range from £20 to £2,000

One programme in hiz collection which iz very (very!) rare iz the Pecsi Doza away programme from The Inter Cities Fairs Cup campaign in 1970 and we believe that John had paid quite a considerable sum for it! (see top of page)

Hiz last ever game waz against Oldham in wor forst pre season game of this season before the tragedy unfolded two days later and that programme iz up for auction az well!

We can't be there on Saturday, az of course we have a game away to Man City, but we will be there on Sunday to witness the auction and will let yoo know just how much waz raised.

RIP JOHN!   

"NE CUPS TO CHEER!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 18th February 2015

Match comments from wor new futbaall correspondent
'Curious George'!

The Toon went oot of their last two cup competitions in two days when the U18s lost 3-0 to Chelski in The FA Youth Cup qwaataa final on Munday neet and last neet the U21 resorve side lost 3-1 to Morpeth Toon in The Northumberland Senior Cup semi final!

On Munday a MAGnificent crowd of 11,664 torned oot @ St James' Park to cheers the youngins on and they nearly did it! by takin' the holders Chelski to extra time---But 3 goals in that period from the visitors finished us off !

And then last neet @ 'Blue Flames' in Benton a MUGnificent crowd of 405 watched on az Morpeth Toon from The Northern Leegue, knocked us oot at the semi final stage of The Northumberland Senior Cup---Tom Heardman gettin' wor anly goal of the two games!

THE TOON U18s v CHELSKI U18s *** FA YOUTH CUP QWAATAA FINAL **** TONEET @ SJP!

Posted '11:11am bells' Munday 16th February 2015

FA YOUTH CUP ACTION @ SJP 2 YEARS AGO v DARLO U18s

After the weekends FA Cup results ( not includin' 'us' of course!) where both The SMBs and The Smoggies were eliminated <("ha!ha!") there iz now just ONE north east team left in any of the cup competitions, namely wor U18s, who play holders Chelski @ '7:05 bells' toneet @ 'The Cathedral on the Hill' in The FA Youth Cup. (The reason the kick off iz @ '7:05' iz because it iz bein' shown live on Chelski TV!)

Unfortunateleee 'yours truly' wont be there az aa have to gan to graft, but we are sendin' a new mystery reporter to cover the game for 'The Geordie Times'!---and a full match report on the game will appear here tomorrow and hiz/hor identity will be revealed then! <(bet yi cannit wait to see just who it iz!?)

Admission toneet iz FREE TO AALL via The East Stand and because of this NUFC are hopin' for a big crowd to cheer on wor youngins to the semi finals!

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 NUNEATON BORO 2 *** CONFERENCE

Posted '11:06am bells' Sunday 15th February 2015

"IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' 'THE TOON'!"


ADAM CAMPBELL (centre of pic in white shirt) PUTS
'THE HEEDBANGERS' AHEED FROM THE SPOT!
 

With ne Toon games to gan te it waz decided to heed for 'The Heed' and take in their Conference game against bottom side Nuneaton!

'Tex' Taylor and Les 'the Heedbanger' were my drinkin' companions and we started off in 'The Crown' in Coatsworth Road in Bensham for the customary pre match 'liquid lubrications'!

Just ower the road from 'The Crown' in Windmill Hills there are breathtakin' views of The Toon and St James' Park in particular from the high vantage point!

It waz then a mini bus ride with a few othaa Heedbangers and we arrived @ Gatesheed Stadium just before kick off in anticipation of a big victory for Gatesheed!

Think again!---just like The Toon's previous two games this waz absolute garbage az relegation fodder Nuneaton wernt there just to make up the numbers!

The Heed took the lead through Toon loanee Adam Campbell from the penalty spot in the 6th minute and the big victory waz lookin' good! ----"WRANG!"


ACTION AT 'THE BYKER WAALL END' 
(the 'Byker waall' in the east end of Newcastle can be seen
on the horizon across the Tyne)


The game just petered oot after this and just before the end of the half we decided to gan to the concourse for some much needed 'lubrications'---but the queue waz massive and to top it aall Nuneaton equalised in forst half stoppage time! <(which we of course, missed!)

Aa waited til the queue died doon and ended up missin' a few minutes of the 2nd half az aa downed mee can of 'Worthy' in a plastic container in the concourse!

Back on the terraces the natives were gettin' restless az The Heed just couldn't break doon the visitors defence---and then disaster struck when Nuneaton were awarded a penalty of their own which waz convorted to the delight of the 20 odd diehards who had made the jorney to Tyneside!

THE 20 ODD NUNEATON FANS CAN JUST BE SPOTTED BELOW
THE LETTER 'B' IN THE FAR STAND
(the letters stand for Gatesheed Metropolitan Borough Cooncil!)

That's the way it ended and the teams came off to loud booin' from the fans and a slatin' for the coachin' staff!

Gatesheed's play-off hopes now look bleak and we heeded for The Railway Club next to the High Level Bridge for the post match 'gargels' to discuss anothaa horror show futbaall match!
"It's just like watchin' The Toon!"

Attendance: 1,047 (26 Nuneaton diehards!) *

PS:
We said yesterday that 'The Geordie Times' would reveal wor new futbaall correspondent today--but protracted negotiations with hiz agent are still on gannin' and we shud? have sommik to tell yiz tomorrow! (hopefully!)