THE TOON v BRENTFAAD *** THIS SATURDAY!

 Posted 'high noon 🛎️s' Friday 15th September 2023

SUNSET @ SJP 

‘THE CATHEDRAL ON THE HILL’

We've got a hectic couple of weeks comin' up with 5 games in 3 competitions!--Forst up iz a home Premyaa Leegue game v Brentfaad on Saturday ---and then its off to Milan for wor Champions Leegue game at The San Siro v AC Milan next Tuesday----followed by anothaa Premyaa Leegue game v Sheff U at Bramall Lane on Sunday week---and then a Leegue Cup tie at home to Man City the followin Wedinzday---and finally, for wor last game in Septembaa, a Premyaa Leegue home game v Bornlee on Saturday the 30th!----Thats 5 games in 14 days! 

Like we say, wor Forst game iz against Brentaad, who we beat 3-0 at SJP last season! (Correction 5-1 spececial thanx to Russ for spotting my dilllibrit missstsyk—again!) ‘Fink’ that this time it will be much tougher az we try to hit back after 3 successive defeats before the International break!— in contrast wor visitors are unbeaten so far this season in 4 games (1 win, 3 draws)

The 🛞 🛞 wheels might be wobblin a bit, but they havvint come off yet!

Team news   Sven Botman shud be ok   Toonali iz touch and go!

Meeenwhile! Wor 25 man squad for the new season haz been reveeeled!

A ‘Geordie Times’ Brentfaad match report will appear here as per usual sometime on Sunday!   Az per usual “Watch this space!”

Ah wonder wot events they are takin about? 🤔  Iz that a pub on the left and a sports stadium on the right?🤔

Meeeenwhile!  2 more games have been moved for live telly games!

We will now play 'The Arse' at SJP at '5:30 bells' on Saturday Novembaa 4th (SKY) and Bournemoooth away on Saturday 11th Novembaa at '5:30 bells' (SKY) 

This meenz that we will be unable to get yem after the Bournmoooth game by train!---SO yet anothaa owerneet stay iz in the offin'!

"They dont like us---they don't care!"

AC MILAN SOLD OOT!

 Posted ‘4:50pm bells’ Friday 8th Septembaa 2023

The Geordie Times can confirm that aall 4,200 tickets for wor away Champions Leegue game in The San Siri Stadium on Tuesday week against AC Milan have now Selt oot!

The 1.000 tickets for ‘one loyalty point holders’ that went on sale at '4:00pm🔔bells' today, selt oot in less than 30 minutes!

An unspecified number of tickets have been held back for those with zero points and will be drawn in a ballot on Saturday, from 'high noon bells'!

Wrexham 1 The Toon U21s 0 EFL Trophy

 Posted ‘1:45am 🔔 bells’ Wedinzday 6th September 2023

Some of the Toon saddos drinking a pint or ten before the game!

Wor U21s lost 1-0 against Wrexham at The Racecourse Groond (or whatever it’s called now?) last neet in front of a near 8,000 crowd which included nearly 300 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers who had made the lang journey from Tyneside and beyond!

16 year old goalie Aiden Harris made hiz debut for The Toon U21s and had to pick the ball oot of the net after just 13 minutes when Dalby scored the anly goal of the game!

We had been severely weakened by injuries and International caall ups and made a game of it against the 2nd Division Welshmen

900,000 REASONS TO BELEEEEVE! *** ANOTHAA MILESTONE FOR THE GEORDIE TIMES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 4th Septembaa 2023

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!, WHEY AYE MAAN!"

Ower the weekend The Geordie Times passed the 900,000 hits mark when we were in Brightin!

We thank each and every one of yoo from the 4 corners of the planet Orth (and beyond!) for loggin' into this advort free NUFC fan blog!

Wor target iz!---1,000,000 and at the time of writin this we need anothaa 96,000 pageviews!----That would be brilliant!

The Top pageviews are az follows:

1 UK 313,000 (plus)

2 USA 190,000

3 Indonesiaa 57,100

4 Jawmaneee 46,000

5 Hong Kong 39,600

6 Singapore 38,100

7 Rushaa 30,500

8 Ukraine 26,700 (Not suprizingly not many pageviews lately!)

9 Israel 26,000

10 France 20,000

11 Republic of Ireland 9,870

12 Chinaa 8,570

13 Holland 7,070

14 Sweden 6,830

15 Canada 5,990

16 Japan 5,660 

17 Spain 4,000

18 Torkee 2,170

The other 160 countries and the planet Mars combined 63,800! 

NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'from 11am bells' onwards, on the way back from Brightin, Sunday 3rd September 2023

Loyal til the end, despite the poor performance!

*A WEEKEND OF WOE!

*This woz one of the worst away trip that we have ever been on!

As divvint want to bore yoo to death—-but I WILL!

Mee diary from Thorzday onwards reads like this: Did mee normal 450 miles truck run from Tyneside to Redditch and back and got stuck in a traffic jam on the M1 for half an hour on the way back at 10:30pm bells and had to take an extra 45 mins break because of it!

Got to bed at 3:30 bells for 6 hours and then had to drag Meesel oot of mee pit to catch a train to London at high noon bells on Friday (a train strike with very limited services on Saturday forced wor hands!)

On arrival at Kings Cross (London)we caught a tube train to Edgeware Road and another one to Wimbledon!

From there we got a bus to Kingston (which woz SO full passenger were actually sitting on the stairs)and another one to Dorking where we were stayin for the neet! In total it took 8 hours to get there! (There were nee trains from London to Dorking coz of the strike!) We had a canny few gargels in numerous boozers and let’s say that one of wor company had to be virtually carried back to the hotel, az he woz much the worse for wear!!

Next day Sarnie Steve, (who woz workin in Reading) picked us up in his jam jar and off we set to wor final destination—-an expensive minus 3 star hotel on the Brightin seafront! £96 each!—nee brekky included!)

After droppin’ wor bags off it woz time for a few gargels in Brightin before catching the train to the ground which iz aboot 6 miles from the centre!

And then more ‘purgatory ’ —-The match! Az we were gannin in a sniffer dog made straight for Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer and he woz stopped and searched for drugs and had to empty his pockets oot!? 

He eventually got to the tornstiles but his ticket woz rejected (az NUFC said some would be) so he had to trail halfway around the ground to ticket office window 10 where NUFC staff asked him for photo ID to prove that the ticket woz hiz! They gave him a new ticket and he eventually got in! Hiz new name iz Blondie Alan the Drug Dealer!

We then made for wor seats az Toon fans started hoyin beer ower each other! (At £6 a pint!)

Honestly,! This woz the worst ever display under Eddie Howe with several missed chances gannin abeggin from Isak and Co! It woz like gannin back to the Steve Bruce era!

The Pope woz at fault for the first goal when a rebounded kick off him found teenager Ferguson and had the easy task of scorin from the edge of the box! 1-0 to them at HT 

Despite the aaful performance from NUFC, where virtually every player under performed, the 3,000 Toon fans were in good voice and singin songs aboot the Champions Leegue!

It woz 2-0 when Ferguson hit a screamer from ootside the box az The Pope tried in vain to save it!

It woz soon 3-0 to them when a deflected shot off Ferguson wrang footed Pope to give him his hat-trick!

A consolation goal from super sub Callum Wilson near the end made it 3-1 to Brightin!

7 minutes stoppage time woz added to compound wot misery!

Attendance 31,620 (3,000 shell shocked Toon fans!)

PS: We say ‘Nee where near Brighton’ az their ground iz in a place called Falmer, 6 miles north of Brightin!

We heeded for the seafront after the game for a few drownin of the sorrows gargels before retiring back to the hotel!

At 6:08am bells pressisleee ah nearly had a heart attack when the very loud fire 🚨 alarm went off which (of course!) woke me up and there woz a mad scramble to get some clothes on and dash doon the 3 flights of narrow stairs to get oot!  It woz a false alarm of course!—Wot else could possibly gan wrang????

Today, before leavin we had ‘breakfast at Tiffany’s ower the road from the hotel before the lang 370 mile road jorney back to Tyneside—where I did this report on the M25, M11 and A1 gettin stuck in traffic jams!

MAGICAL MYSTERY AWAY PUB CRAWL TOUR 2023-2034

8 Boozers visited in Dorking and Brightin---runnin total 27

DORKING

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BRIGHTIN

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Away concourse Amex Stadium

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On the concourse before the game!

*On the ‘tool shed’ waall!

"WE WONT BE HOME FOR TEA! WE'RE GOIN' TO GER-MAN-EEE, P-S-G AND IT-AL-EEE!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 1st September 2023   Updated Saturday mornin’

☠️"THE GROUP OF DEATH!"☠️

Wot a tough draw!   Could hardy be much better!

Game formats will bee annoonced tomorrow!

NUFC are NOT puttin' any away travel on for fans, so we will have to make wor own arrangements!

More to follow on aall this when we find oot! 

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

*Updated Saturday morning’

Brighton match report to follow sometime on Sunday—we are on wor way now!

CHAMPIONS LEEGUE DRAW AT ‘5:00 BELLS TODAY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 31st August 2023

Will be updated when we find oot wor 3 opponents!

The draw for the Champions Leegue group stage tex place today in Monaco and aall Toon fans will be watchin or listenin intently az the draw iz made from '5:00 bells' onwards GMT! (Geordie Meeen Time!)

NUFC are in POT 4 and cannit play any of the teams in the same POT

Aalso we cannit play any othaa Inglish teams in the 3 othaa POTS!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' dream draw iz az follows:

POT 1: Bayern Munich (2nd in wor 'bucket list'! Great boozers, great stadium!)

POT 2: Real Madrid (Very top of wor 'bucket list'! If there woz anly one more stadium we could visit, this would be the one!---It would be a dream come true!)

POT 3: FC Copenhagen (Coz we've nevaa seen The Toon play in Denmark!)

Fingers (and toes) crossed! XX 

We will of course let yiz naa when we find oot the 3 teams----az per usual watch this space lang aftaa the draw iz made!

Updated ‘11:00pm 🔔s

Great draw!

Dortmund, AC Milan and PSG!

CUP DRAWS IMMINENT!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 30th August 2023

The draw for The Leegue Cup 3rd roond happens at '10:15pm bells' tooneet on SKY! (NUFC enter at this stage)

From the ties last neet anly 2 teams, whos groonds 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been tee who won, are: Salford City and Sutton United.

From the ties tooneet, AFC Wimbledon's groond iz the anly one we have nevaa visited, although we have been to the old Wimbledon's Plough Lane groond in the old forst division! 

Wot we want iz an away tie against the above mentioned or a home tie against lower leegue opposition! (We divvint want any lang distance away groonds that we have been tee ---PLEEZE!)

And then THE BIG ONE!---The draw for The Champions Leegue group stage takes place tomorrow evenin at '5:00 bells' (Az far az we are aware NUFC are in 'Pot 4')

Mee own preference iz a tie at Real Madrid!

WE will bring yoo the Leegue Cup draw az soon az we find oot!

(Probably '2:00 bells' in the mornin'!) So watch this space! (eventually!)

‘1:45am bells Thirzday

It’s The Blue Moonies of Manchester at SJP! (15 mins orlier than predicted)🤪👍

THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 28th August 2023

" DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY!"

Wot can we say?----1-0 up after 25 minutes through Evaatin fan Anthony Gordon with a fine run and shot and then 3 minutes later Van Dijk woz shown a straight red for clatterin into Isak and they were doon to 10 men!

Several chances to finish the mickey mousers off failed to find the net, with Almiron hittin the post at The Leazes End----Fine margins, az it could easily have rebounded into the net, but didn't!  HT 1-0 to us!

The 2nd half woz the same with Almiron again hittin the post, this time at The Gallowgate End, but again it rebounded ootside the goal!

And then 'the horror show' near the end, when with just 10 minutes to gan, Numez raced doon the pitch on The East Stand side to fire a raspin shot past The Pope to level the scores!

Worse woz to follow when again Numez  raced doon the same side of the pitch after a Bruno misstayk, to hit an identical shot past The Pope deep into stoppage time, to break wor hearts and send the 3,000 Liverbirds in level 7 into raptures!

3 points hoyed away at the end, against 10 men woz not wot we wanted or expected!

We must now pick worsels up for the lang trip to Brightin on Saturday----train strikes and aaalll!

Attendance: 52,214 (3,000 very happy Scousers!) (49,214 stunned Geordies!)

THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS *** PREMYAA LEEGUE ON SUNDAY

 Posted '2:30pm bells' Friday 25th August 2023

4MIDABLE SIGNINGS!

"UNLUCKY 13!" 

We face Livaapoool on Sunday in a live SKY telly game at '4:30 bells'

NUFC havvint beaten the 'mickey mousers' (Scousers) in the last 13 attempts, so now iz the time to put this reet!

It will be very interestin' to see wor startin' line up and just who will play, with 4 new major signings in the transfor window! (Above)

If we play like we did against Villa in wor forst home game of the season, when we won 5-1, then anything iz possible!

Tomorrow 'yours truly' iz off to Belper in deepest Derbyshire to get mee 'Saturday fix' to watch mee favorite non leegue club----'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston in a Northern Premyaa Leegue (East) encoontaa!

If av got time aa'll dee a brief match report on that game, but will defiantly have a full report on the Toon's game sometime on Munday!

Az per usual:  "Watch this space!"