NUFC SEASON TICKET PRICES 2023-2024

 Posted '1:20pm bells' Friday 16th Joon 2023

*Season ticket prices have now been released, plus news that Toon fans  can buy aall home cup tickets in advance, rather than havin to apply for every time by phone or e mail!

NUFC 2023-2024 PREMYAA LEEGUE FIXTURES!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' onwards, Thorzday 15th Joon 2023

 

Aalready, wor forst home game against 'The Hazbeenz and Villains' haz been moved to a '5:30 bells' kick off!

*Key dates: 

RANGERS V NUFC *** 8,000 TICKETS *** SOLD OOT! **** HEEDBANGERS GAME ANNOONCED!

 Posted '1:15pm bells' Tuezday 13th Joon 2023

Updated Wedinzday 'high noon bells'

Aall 8,000 tickets for wor away pre season friendly at Ibrox v Rangers have sold oot!----It went doon to ONE loyalty point in the end!

The game takes place on Tuezday July 18th at '7:45pm bells'

Updated Wedinzday

Wor forst team will aalso play a game at Gatesheed on Saturday 15th July for a '12:30 bells' kick off----Tickets on sale from the Gatesheed ticket office! (Nee loyalty points needed!)

(Nee sales from NUFC)

"IT'S A 'SELA'S MARKET!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 10th Joon 2023

*Az predicted by 'The Goerdie Times' wor new home kit and sponsors for 2023-24 woz annoonced yesterday and can be bought from the club shop from today! (The club shop at the groond opened at '8:00 bells' this mornin'!)

The top looks canny--like!

Updated Saturday afternooon

This woz the queue for the club shop alang Strawberry Place at '7:30 bells' this mornin'!

And in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia!

NEW NUFC KIT LAUNCH TOMORROW!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 8th Joon 2023

Wor new kit iz oot tomorrow and The Geordie Times haz seen leaked photos of it!---If this iz the reet one? then it looks great, az it haz the thinnish black 'n' white stripes and the sleeves are striped az well! (Photos deein the roonds last week showed a strip with thick stripes and white sleeves)

LIV AND LET LIV!

 Posted '12:24pm bells' Wedinzday 7th Joon 2023

For starters aa naa absolutleee nowt aboot golf, but the news that the PIF who own NUFC have merged LIV Golf with the PGA Tour, haz made eruptions aroond the world! 

This iz good news for NUFC fans and hopefully this will put the protests aboot wor takeover by the PIF onto the back burner, and let them focus on golf instead!

It will be interestin wot golf players Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods will dee, az they were 100% opposed to The Saudis in golf and torned doon eye waterin money, reported to be $140 MILLION to join LIV Golf!? 

Watch this space for forthaa news!

PS: The one and anly time av played golf woz on Whitley Bay's miniature golf course many moons ago! The miniature course woz near the top of a cliff and ah hit mee forst shot straight ower the cliff edge and into the North sea!---never to be seen again!--- and lost mee deposit on the golf baall! (ie: Ah woz a 'one hit wonder'!)

NUFC DATES FOR YOUR DIARY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 4th Joon 2023

*August 31st iz the date that aall NUFC fans are most lookin forward tee!

For this iz the date that The Champions Leegue draw iz made!

We cannit draw a team from Pot 4 az that's the group we are in!

Aalso we cannit draw anothaa Premyaa Leegue team!

Real Madrid, Barcelona, both Milan clubs and Bayern Munich are aall possibilities!

DREAM ON!😴

*

"FOR THOSE OF YOO WHO HAVE LONG MEMORIES, LOOK AWAY NOW!"

 Posted 'bells' Thorzday 1st Joon 2023

"THE TIMES THEY ARE 'A' CHANGIN'!"

Tuezday October 20th 2009 iz a date that brought a low point in wor lang Futbaall Leegue history. For this iz the day we went to Scunthorpe United in The Championship and somehow managed to lose 2-1!

2,185 hardy souls had travelled doon from Tyneside in a sold oot away end and were part of Scunny's biggest ever crowd at Glanford Park of 8,921!

Kevin Nolan scored wor solitary goal, but 2 goals from Scunthorpe's Martyn Woolford 'pulled the wool ower wor eyes' (sic!) in a humiliatin defeat!   

A'd went to this game with Toon fan 'The Undertaker' in hiz 'jam jar' and in hiz effort to get a quick getaway aftter the game, he crashed hiz car into the back of anothaa car!---The driver got oot and we thought "Oh no there might be trouble here!", but it woz a Toon fan who we knew caalled 'Clarky' and az the damage woz nowt more than a slightly scrapped bumper he just laughed it off! 

(Tragically, 'The Undertaker' lost hiz life with Toon fan 'Liam from The Lamp' ,when the plane they woz travellin on to New Zealand to watch NUFC friendlies in 2014, woz shot doon ower Ukraine!)

Fast forward nearly 24 years (sorry 14 years-- thanx to Jimmy the Riddler for spottin my dilibritt mistayk!) and NUFC have qualified for The Champions Leegue, with the prospect of mouth waterin games v Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Barcelona to look forward tee! ---while Scunny have been relegated from the National Leegue and must play their futbaall in The National Leegue North next season, which iz 'level 6' in the pyramid system with the prospect of 'mouth waterin' games against Sooth Sheeelds, King's Lynn Toon and The Spartans from Blyth to look forward tee! 

ie: The 2 teams couldn't possibly be further apart now---could they!?

(PS: NUFC aalso lost 6-1 at Leyton Orient in a pre season friendly that year!!!---AYE! we were there az well!)

"THE MYTH OF FAT SAM *** A HAT-TRICK OF RELEGATIONS!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 31st May 2023

Leeedz relegation to the Championship meeenz that Fat Sam (sorry' Fat SHAM!) now haz 3 relegations on hiz CV!

In hiz forst managerial job he took Notts Coonty doon from the the old 3rd Division to the 4th in the 1996-97 season!--Something everybody seems to have forgotten aboot! (He never mentioned it!)

Then of course 2 years ago he took West Brom doon from The Premyaa Leegue to the Championship but got a huge payoff az a 'reward'! (He woz supposed to be their savior!)

And now he haz taken Leeedz on the same pathway with just 1 point from hiz 4 games in charge!

This meeenz he doesn't get hiz £3 million pounds bonus for keepin them up and haz to settle for a 'meagre' £750,000 instead! 

Just like Brucey he haz made a fortune from failure!

Let's hope those 2 fraudsters never con anothaa job in futbaall again!

THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from '10:30am bells' onwards on the train from King's Cross to The Toon!

"THE END GAME!" (AND 150 DIFFERENT !'LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATIONS' VISITED!🤪👍🍺)

A 1-1 draw woz the outcome of this game played in the bakin heat in west London!

The Toon fans were in great voice and on the train doon one kid had a loudhailer and blasted oot the Champions Leegue theme tune on a recorder in wor carriage! 

We took the lead in the 9th minite when Anthony Gordon fired home to rapturous applause from the 3,000 Toon faithful in the opposite Shed End--Gordon's forst goal for us!--Hiz forst goal for NUFC!

Chelseee equalised in the 27th minute when Kieran Trippier scored an unfortunate own goal!

There were chances at both ends after this, but the score remained the same at the half time break!

The 2nd half wasnt very good and the home side could have won it at the death but one of their forwards missed a great chance and fired wide, when it woz easier to score!

17 year old Lewis Miley came on to make hiz debut to chants of "He's one of our own!" He then scrapped the crossbar with a great shot! (I woz in the same infant school class az a 5 year old with Lewis's grandad many many moons ago!) So he would be chuffed to bits aboot that!

Full time 1-1

News came through that Moan U  had beaten Fulim  meeenin that wor final Premyaa Leegue position woz 4th top!

PS: We say Chelseee Pensioners az that woz their original nickname---now binned by them---but not us!)

Attendance: 41,000 (3,000 Toon fans in very good voice! (Minus that loud hailer which we assumed wasn't allowed in!)

 

LOUD HAILER MAN AT KING'S CROSS  DRAPED IN A ISAK SWEDEN FLAG!

*Pub crawl report total for the season IZ! 150!

5 new boozers were added to the list of different ones visited throughout this season!  Bringin the total to 148!

HOWEVER! We have just realised that we missed 2 off the list on wor prevseason tour of Austria!

The 2 were when we were waitin for a flight from terminal 2 of Manchester airport!-- Bringin the MAGnificent total to a rounded up 150 different drinkin dens!

The 5 in London for the Chelseee game were:

In Manchester Airport pre season!