SOOOTHAMPTON v THE TOON **** LEEGUE CUP SEMI-FINAL 1st LEG

 Posted '9:20am bells' Tuezday 24th January 2023

Havin' just got back from wor game at Cristill Palliss on Sunday afternooon, we are off on wor travels once again to Sooothampton via King's Cross for wor Leegue Cup semi final tie 1st leg!

In between that aa did mee normal truck run from the Team Valley in Gatesheed to Redditch in deepest Worcestershire---a roond trip of 444miles, finishin' at 4:00am bells this mornin---catchin 2 hours sleep "ZZZzzzz!" and then draggin mee lifeless body oot of mee pit at '7:00bells to catch the 8:58 bells' train back to London!  

Match and booze report will be posted on train on the way back on Wedinzday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"  

THE PALLISS 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted on train on the way back from 

London from '10:00am 🔔 bells' onwards

Sunday 22nd January 2023

The crap view from row 29! (Toon in white and green)

(Brief match report)

"NEWCASIL UNITED WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED!"

Numerous chances from Joelinton, Almiron, Wilson, Isak etc to win this game ended in weak shots and heeders which failed to beat the Palliss keeper, with Nick Pope havin to make just one great save in the 2nd half to deny the home side!

The draw lifted us back into 3rd place in the table and woz wor 15th Premyaa Leegue game in a row undefeated to set a new club record!

It's a game that we will forget within days and if anything, we need somebody to put the baall into the net! 

Nee doubt Steady Eddie will be hunting for one in the window--not lang left before it closes though!

Attendance: 25,350 (2,700 Toon)

Pub crawl report

We visited several boozers, some for the forst time (7), bringin wor total for the season to 97 different boozers! (Includin wor grand tour of Austria where we visited 38 different drinkin dens and NOT 41 az originally posted!) 

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More 'unusual' photos!

PS; One photo aa didn't manage to get coz aa wasnt quick enough to get mee camera phone workin', woz at King's Cross station, when a lad aboot 20 years old walked in with a single bed mattress tied to hiz back!

HONEST a'm NOT jokin'

THE PALLISS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW EVENIN'

 Posted not lang after 'high noon bells' Friday 20th January 2023

AALL 2,700 AWAY TICKETS ALLOCATED, SOLD OOT STRAIGHT AWAY!

"WOOD HEEDS FOR THE FOREST!"

News that striker Chris Wood iz off to Forest reaches us----'Steady Eddie' told him that hiz game time at The Toon would be limited with both Isak and Wilson fit again---and that he'd be better off gannin to Forest, despite hiz reluctency to leave us!

Chris did a great job last season in helpin us to stay up, with vital goals at the reet time!---He woz aalways a 'stop gap' signin' and we aall wish him well in hiz new venture!--He wont be forgotten!  "Cheers Chris!"

The results ower the last 2 days have certainly gone wor way, az Moan U conceded a last gasp goal at The Palliss on Wedinzday to deny them 3 points in the 1-1 draw---and move just one point above us (instead of 3!) ----and then last neet at Man City, Sporz hoyed away a 2 goal lead at half time to lose 4-2 in dramatic fashion to keep them 5 points behind us in 5th place, with a game more played!

This iz a great opportunity to open up an 8 point gap on them and owertake Moan U to move back into 3rd position in The Premyaa Leegue table!----It won't be easy of course (Az Moan U foond oot!), but the way we are playin', its quite possible to take the 3 precious points in wor quest for Champions Leegue futbaall next season!

'The Geordie Times' will of course bring yoo a full match (and booze!) report az we travel back from London on the train on Sunday mornin'   Az per usual  "Watch This space!" 

NUFC BACK IN TOP 20 RICH LIST!

 Posted '1:33pm bells' Thorzday 19th January 2023

The latest Deloitte Futbaall rich list haz been annoonced for 2023 and NUFC are back in the top 20 after a 4 year absence!

"ONWARD AND UPWARD!"

SOOOTHAMPTON HOME AND AWAY TICKETS NOW ON SALE!

 Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuezday 17th January 2023

Tickets are now on sale for wor 2 legged Leegue Cup semi final v Sooothampton, and fans can buy their OWN SEAT wherever they sit for home games!

For the away game we have been allocated just 3,200 tickets!---The same number that we got for wor 4-1 Premyaa Leegue win there, orlier this season!

Meeenwhile wor FA Youth Cup tie v The Arse U18s tooneet ('7:00bells') haz been moved from Whitley Park to SJP!   Prices £3 for big kids and just £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites! (East Stand only) (Season tickets are NOT valid for this game!)

Updated Wedinzday 'high noon bells'

NUFC U18s lost 3-2 last neet at SJP in front of a 983 'crowd'

We came from behind twice with the score sequences az follows:

15th minute: 0-1 Ferdinand open the scorin at The Gallowgate End with a scrambled goal

19th minute: 1-1  Lewis Miley equalises after burstin through the box to fire home at The Leazes End

44th minute: 1-2 Cozier-Duberry regains the lead for wor visitors with a fine shot

57th minute: 2-2 Wor 2nd equaliser through Ben Parkinson from 6 yards oot at The Gallowgate End

87th minute: 2-3 Kamara seals the victory for The Arse from a few yards oot to break wor hearts!

Footnote: Aa went to infant skoool with 16 year old Lewis Miley's granddad when aa woz 5 years old and would have loved to have seen hiz face when Lewis scored wor forst goal! 

"HE'S ONE OF OUR OWN!"

THE TOON 1 FULIM 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted '12:52pm bells' Munday 16th January 2023

THE SIGN UNDER THE EDDIE HOWE BANNER SAYS:

"WE'RE NOT HERE TO BE POPULAR, WE'RE HERE TO COMPETE!"

This woz a tough game against a very resiliant Fulim side who looked much better than the team we beat 4-1 at their place orlier this season!

VIEW FROM ROW 'B' MILBURN STAND BALCONY

Fulim came here on the back of an historic win against arch rivals Chelsea on Thorzday neet---historic coz this woz anly the 2nd time they had beat their 'big bruvver' in 35 years!

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st HALF)

And so it proved az we slogged away for the forst goal!---It never came in the forst half, but the 2nd half woz different!

While the Toon were on the attack at The Gallowgate End the big screen lit up to say that there woz a possible penalty at The Leazes End for Fulim!

After the ref looked at the monitor on the East Stand side, he pointed to the spot az Trippier woz adjudged to have fouled Codova-Reid in the box in the 67th minute!

After lang arguments up stepped former Toon striker Mitrovic aand he fired home past Pope in The Toon goal to put them one up, to loud cheers from the travillin 1,700 faithful who had made the trip from west London!----

But wait a minute!---the old guy who sits beside me at the match said he thought Mitrovic had inadvertently struck the baall with both feet!----After a quick check by the ref the goal woz disallowed to very large cheers from the home faithful!----We'd got out of jail!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE GALLOWGATE END

And then in the very late minute of the game we won it when super sub Isak heeded in from half a yard oot!----a goal that your great granny could have scored! Sean Longstaff crossed the baall and Wilson helped it on to Isak---and the rest iz history!

We never gave up and this woz just reward az we were the better team on the day!  Another valuable 3 points meant we gan back above Moan U on goal difference and just one point behind 2nd placed Man City!

The Arse beat Sporz 2-0 which meenz that they are now 9 points clear of us at 'the top of the tree' and look odds on to win The Premyaa Leegue now!  Sporz defeat meenz that the gap between them and us iz now 5 points and a Champions Leegue place looks better by the day for us, az we reach the halfway point of the season!

Attendance: 52, 247 (1,722 Fulim)

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IF YOO INCLUDE THE LEEGUE CUP GAMES, NUFC HAVE WON 14 TIMES THIS SEASON, COMPARED TO ONCE AT THIS STAGE LAST SEASON!----"SOME TURNAROOND---"EH!

YET AGAIN HAPPY TOON FANS LEAVE SJP

THE TOON v FULIM *** TODAY AT '2:00 BELLS'

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 15th January 2023

HAPPY TOON FANS LEAVE SJP AFTER WOR 2-0 WIN V LESTAA LAST TUEZDAY TO REACH THE SEMI FINALS OF THE LEEGUE CUP!----LETS HOPE WE ARE JUST AZ HAPPY AT '4:00 BELLS' TODAY!?

NUFC take on a Fulim side who have won their last 4 Premyaa Leegue games, includin a 2-1 win against arch rivals Chelsea last Thorzday!

So it wont be an easy 3 points today for certain!  Their manager De Silva haz moaned aboot the gap between the Chelsea game wihich finished at '10:00pm bells' on Thorzday neet and the game today which takes place in 2 hours time!    Aa meeeen---how many times does a team play on a Sunday and have another game on Wedinzday neet?---It's the same 'time gap' , so stop moanin' and makin excuses in case yoo lose, before the game haz even kicked off!

(In the 1970s it wasn't unusual to play a game on Good Friday, the next day on Easter Saturday and 2 days later on Easter Munday----Neebody complained then!)

We hear that Fulim have anly sold 1,722 of their 3,200 allocation of tickets----the spare ones eagerly snapped up by Toon fans for another capacity crowd!

Anyway!---Moan U beat Man City 2-1 yesterday with 2 dubious offside goals and have moved 3 points above us in the table into 3rd place!----A win would take us back to 3rd on goal difference and just one point behind Man City!

Not sure if Joelinton will start after he failed the breathalizer last week (and could face disaplinary action from 'Steady Eddie'), but mee finks he will be on the subs bench at least!

The Toon are currently unbeaten in wor last 13 home games in aall competitions----lets hope its 14 come '4:00pm bells'

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime later today or tomorrow!----Az per usual:"Watch this space!"  

"SNOW' GO AREA FOR 'THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!"

 Posted '1:08pm bells' Friday 13th January 2023

"IT'S SNOW GOOD!" ("sic!")

Wor U21s were due to play Sooothampton U21s tooneet at Snows Stadium, Totten (above), which iz a few miles north of Sooothampton!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' had booked trains and a hotel, anly to find that the game haz been switched at the last minute to Sooothampton's trainin' groond and will be played behind closed doors!!!

Snows Stadium iz home to Totten FC of The Southern Leegue and their home game on Wedinzday neet woz postponed because of a waaterlogged pitch!----Fearin' the same for wor game the decision  woz made to switch it to the trainin groond!!! ("The b*stards!")

This iz devastatin' news of course for the mad-sad groundhoppers, but we have managed to get the hotel money back and hopefully aall the train money!

It looks like a neets drinkin' in 'The Toon' instead, folks! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

Updated '9:50am 🔔 bells' Saturday

The Toon U21s suffered a 4-1 defeat at Sooothampton's Staplewood trainin groond last neet!

Ndiweni scorin wor anly goal in the 85th minute when we were aalready 4-0 doon!

SAINTS IN SEMIS!

 Posted '1:04pm bells' Thorzday 12th January 2023

THE LOGO FOR THE 1960s TV SERIES

The draw for the semi finals of The Leegue Cup woz made last neet and NUFC have been drawn against 'The Simon Templar Mob' of Sooothampton, who shocked the world by beatin' current Premyaa Leegue champions Man City 2-0 at St. Mary's Stadium last neet!

The forst leg iz in the week commencin 23rd January at St. Mary's and the 2nd leg iz at SJP in the week commencin 30th January!

Moan U were drawn against 'The Friar Tuck Mob' of Nottingham in the othaa semi

Sooothampton are currently bottom of The Premyaa Leegue and we beat them 4-1 at their place not so lang ago!---So this iz a great chance to progress to the final at WEMBLEY next month!

But az we naa!  anythin' can happen when NUFC play (Sheff Wed, Cambridge etc!), so we wont coont wor chickens🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔----YET!

Explanation: 'The Saint' woz a cult TV detective series in the 1960s starrin Roger Moore az Simon Templar---Sooothampton's nickname iz 'The Saints'----Hence 'The Simon Templar Mob'---GET IT???

THE TOON 2 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 0 *** LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL

Posted '12:30pm bells' Wedinzday 11th January 2023

"HE'Z FROM BLY--I--IYTH!"

Wor forst semi final in this competition for 47 years woz conformed after a convincin win at SJP in front of a record crowd for a Leegue Cup tie here! (52,009)

Thankfully 'Steady Eddie' played a full strengh team this time (unlike at Sheff Wed) and it showed from the forst to the final whistle!

We dominated so much in the forst half az we attacked The Leazes goal, but just couldn't make the breakthrough thanx to the Lestaa goalie Ward, who played a blinder!

Within a few seconds of the restart Joelinton hit a shot against the post---a warnin' shot from wot woz aboot to unfold!

The major breakthrough came on the hour mark from an unlikely source, when 'local hero' Dan Burn raced into the box and hit a sweet shot across the goal and into the corner of the net to send the vast majority of the 52,009 crowd into raptures! ---Hiz forst ever goal for The Toon az well! (Dan used to gan in 'The East Stand' with hiz family to support us when he woz a kid!)

He's from Blyth in Northumberland and the crowd sang a little ditty in praise of him:  "You'll never ever beat Dan Bu--u--urn, he's from Bly--i---iyth"

The 2nd goal came not lang after when Joelinton did exactly the same and placed hiz shot into the same corner az 'Dan the Man' in the 72nd minute! (Q Ecstatic scenes from the pitch and stands!)

Game ower?---whey not quite, az sub Jamie Vardy missed 2 great chances to pull a goal back for wor visitors, but with 22 shots on goal for NUFC, this woz a very one sided game apart from that!

The draw iz tooneet after the Sooothampton v Man City tie and we can anly hope that we avoid Man City in the 2 legged semis if they win, az thiz would be the toughest draw of aall!. Moan U are through az well, which leaves Forest and Wolves, the other teams left! (Can we draw one of those pleeeze!?)

Even if we divvint make it to the final, we are makin great progress indeed----3rd in the table with more signings imminent!

Happy days aheeed!

Attendance: 52,009 plus the 'Man in the Moon'! (less than 1,000 Basil Brush Brigaders!) (They were offered 5,500 tickets!)

VERY HAPPY FANS SINGIN' "TELL MEE MAA, ME MAA, AA WONT BE HOME FOR TEA, WE'RE GOIN TO WEM-BA-LEE, TELL MEE MAA, MEE MAA!" AZ THEY LEAVE SJP

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