THE ARSE V THE TOON *** TOOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon🔔 bells' Munday "er" Tuezday 3rd January 2023 (Thanx to Jimmy the Riddler for spotting mee delibritt misstayk!)

*The 0-0 draw v Leeedz looked like a bad result at the time, but draws at Man City and Chelsea and defeats for Sporz and Livaapoool meenz that they havint gained any points on us!

The anly downside woz Moan U's win at Wolves moving them within 2 points of us!

The Arse won of course and have a 100% home record, so tooneets game won't be easy and will be a good test to see just how close we are to them!

A win would take us to within 6 points of them, a draw would see the gap remain at 9 points and defeat would end wor outside chances of catchin them, az the gap would increase to 12 points!(plus they have a game in hand!)

We will soon find oot az we are on wor way in one of the few trains that are runnin today, because of strike action!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here sometime tomorrow on the way back! (Provided wor train iz runnin!?)

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

FROM 91st TO 6th IN 365 DAYS!

Posted '12:55am bells' Munday 2nd January 2023

In the 2021 form table NUFC were 91st oot of the 92 teams in The Premyaa Leegue and EFL combined table and were odds on favorites to be relegated to The Championship!

One year on and we have moved up 85 places to 6th best oot of the 92 and are ootside favorites to qualify for The Champions Leegue!

We were the worst Premyaa Leegue team in 2021 with a points won per game rate of 0.88 (8 games won) and the 4th best in 2022 with a points won per game rate of 2.00! (21 games won)

One of the most remarkable tornaroonds in Futbaall Leegue history!

THE 'BROKEN NOSE BRUCE' AND 'FAT CONTROLLER' EFFECT!

THE 'STEADY EDDIE' AND 'PIF' EFFECT!

THE TOON 0 LEEEDZ 0 ***PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted '9:38pm🔔 bells' New Years Eve 2022

"YI CANNIT WIN THEM AALL!"

A frustrating day at 'The Cathedral on the Hill' ended in a goalless draw in heavy rain and thick fog!

We had many (many!) chances to win but bad misses by Longstaff, Schar, Wood, Joelinton and Botman meant NUFC had to settle for a point az Leeedz wasted az much time az they could which heated over in the final minutes with Leeedz goalie theatrically gannin to ground after bein shoved by Wilson for blatent time wastin! (Sommik the very poor ref didn't dee anything to stop!)

It ended a run of 6 succesive Premya Leegue wins but overall in 2022 we have lost just ONE Premyaa Leegue home game--last season v Livaapoool in April!  The anly othaa home defeat in 2022 woz against (wait for it!) CAMBRIDGE! in the FA Cup last January!

NUFC end the year in 3rd place in the table--a position that not even the most optimistic Toon fan could have dreamed of! (We were 19th at this point last season!)

2023 can anly get BETTER me 'finks'!  "ONWARD AND UPWARD!" 🤪👍🍺

PS: A minutes applause for Pele preceded the kick off az Brazilian Bruno wore the Pele number 10 shirt in hiz honour before reverting to hiz number 39 Toon top az the game started!

Attendance: 52,211 (3,200 Leeedz fans)

*

THE TOON V LEEEDZ *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' New Years Eve 2022

THE LEAZES END NORTH CORNER FROM LEAZES PARK

If yoo include aall wor Premyaa Leegue, Leegue Cup games and mid season friendlies, NUFC have won 11 games in a row gannin into the last game of 2022!

A remarkable and unforgettable run!

Not sure if Callum Wilson will take any part? az the most likely line up will be the startin line up that destroyed Lestaa 3-0 in just half an hour on Boxin Day!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here later on!  Az per usual "Watch this space!"

AT LAST!---SOME COMMON SENSE PREVAILS!

 Posted '7:17pm bells' Thorzday 29th Decembaa 2022

 

THE ORIGINAL POST ON THE CLUBS WEBSITE AT THE BEGINNIN' OF THE WEEK

AND THE UPDATED NEWS FOR LEVEL 7 SEASON TICKET HOLDERS ON WEDINZDAY

For the past few seasons, season ticket holder in 'level 7' of The Milburn and Leazes End corner sections have had to relocate to the lower bowl of SJP, az under 'The Fat Controller's' disastrous regime, we couldn't fill the top deck of the groond for cup games---and so that woz understandable!

HOWEVER! Under the new regime this practice haz continued, even though there are now sell out crowds for cup games!---We then had to relocate to anothaa part of the groond and look up to level 7 and spot some strangers sittin in wor seats, while we had to settle for inferior seats in The Leazes or Gallowgate End!

I sent an 'E mail' to the club askin just WHY we couldnt buy wor own seats when a sell out woz guaranteed! (I got no reply!)

For wor cup game v Bournemoooth we managed to get seats in row 'DD' of The Milburn Stand, which woz pitch level and wasnt a good view at aall! (3 rows from the front!)

Now at last we hear that we can at last buy wor own seats in The Milburn Stand balcony for the Leegue Cup tie with Lestaa City next month!

We understand that some season ticket holder could be displaced in The Leazes west corner, az Lestaa might ask for more than the 3,000 away tickets for the game----they are entitled to double that number for cup games!

But where I sit iz miles away from the visitin' fans and it woz infuriatin' to have to wait a few days after sales commenced  to get 'the scraps' that season ticket holders didn't buy in eethaa The Leazes or Gallowgate ends!

Common sense haz finally prevailed!  "HIP HIP HORRAY!"    

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 0 THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted  '1:00pm🔔 bells' Tuezday 27th Decembaa 2022

Chris Wood penalty     1-0 to NUFC (VIEW from row 'LL' in the away corner)

"FROM 2ND BOTTOM TO 2ND TOP!"

A year ago NUFC were in free fall after the mess Broken Nose Bruce had left--just ONE win and heedin for the Championship abyss!

A year on and under 'Steady Eddie' ("The guy who got Bournemoooth relegated!" said Brucey) we have won 7 in a row and can dream of a Champions Leegue place!--or a miracle of the title (unlikely but not impossible!)

Within 3 minutes we had a penalty at the far end from us when Joelinton woz hacked doon in the box!

Chris Wood took the spot kick and fired hiz shot into the centre of the net!---Within 2 minutes of that we had doubled wor lead when a 'one-two-one' between Almiron and Bruno had Miggy jink through the Lestaa box to shoot into the far corner for a brilliant goal!---which sent the 3,300 Toon fans in the far corner into meltdoon!

Toon fans started singin': "We're gonna win the Leegue!"  Not me mind--lets wait til we DEE and I will sing alang then!

Joelinton trebled wor lead before the half hour mark when he rose above the home defence to heed home from the edge edge of the box from a Kieran Trippier corner to virtually seal the win and the 3 points, well before the half time break!

The 2nd half wasnt az good az we eased off the gas but *The Basil Brush Brigade misfired badly and hardly had a shot on goal!  (Lestaaz nickname iz The Foxes--Basil Brush iz a fox!---get it!???) The atmosphere from their fans woz crap, but the one good thing iz they don't have them horrible clappers anymore! (Just crap plastic blue flags to wave!)

Jamie Vardy came on az a sub for Lestaa to chants from the Toon faithful of: "Jamie Vardy--your lass iz a grass!" (In relation to hor lost libel case against Wayne Rooney's wife!)

By this time there were thooosands of empty blue seats az their fans left in droves!

" We can see yoo sneakin' out!"

Anothaa clean sheet az well, az we climbed above Man City into 2nd place! (For the time being at least!)

Anothaa fab win under Steady Eddie's guidance!---wot a difference a year makes!

*PS: We said in The Geordie Times preview of the match that we hoped that the Toon fans could sing the "Jingle bells" song;

Wor wish woz granted!

Aaltogether now!

🎵Jingle 🔔 bells- Jingle 🔔 bells--Jingle aall the way!--oh wot fun it iz to see Newcasil win away!🎵

*Attendance: 32,185 (3,300 very happy Toon fans!)

Az usual when we come doon these parts we heeded for The Regent Club for the pre match 'gargels' which iz aboot a 20 minute walk from the groond!) 

Wor 84th Liquid Lubrication Location of the season so far!

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE v THE TOON **** BOXIN' DAY 2022

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Xmas Day 2022🎄🎄🎄

"A VERY MERRY XMAS TO AALL WOR READERS!"

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

*We heed for deepest Leicestershire tomorrow when we take on 'The Basil Brush Brigade' in a '3:00 bells' kick off Premyaa Leegue fixture!

NUFC have won wor last six games in the Leegue and Leegue Cup and have lost just once (Unjustly v Livaapoool) in wor last 20 games!

Aaall 3,300 tickets were snapped up lang ago and there shud be a canny atmosphere at The King Power (Crisp) Stadium!

Hopefully we can sing that old Xmas classic: "Jingle bells--jingle bells---jingle all the way!----Oh wot fun it iz to see Newcasil win away!"----Hopefully?

We of course play Lestaa az well in The Leegue Cup qwaataa finals on Tuesday 10th January at SJP and so a victory would be very nice to set us up for that tie!

WOT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL DRAW TOOONEEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 22nd Decembaa 2022

"CAN WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE PLEEEEZE!?"

BEST AND WORST CASE SCENARIOS!

The draw for the qwaataa final of the Leegue Cup takes place at aroond aboot '10:00 bells' toooneet after the Man City v Livaapoool tie!

From the teams left in the competition the best case scenario for NUFC (and wor fans) iz a home draw against Leegue One Charlton.

The worst case scenario (for the fans) iz a midweek away tie at Sooothampton! ("Pleeeze God, NO!")

The teams left are: NUFC, Lestaa, Sooothampton, Wolves, Forest, Man U, Charlton and eethaa Man City or Livaapoool

It doesn't reeely matter just who we get az there are aalways gannin to be be some of the so caalled 'big six' to beat, to win it!

The draw iz live on SKY 

The Geordie Times will of course bring yoo the draw az soon az we find oot--- in wor case aboot 3 hours after the event!

"Watch this space below!"

Updated at 'midneet 🔔bells' 

*It's The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa at SJP!

"Home sweet home!"

THE TOON 1 BOURNEMOOOTH 0 *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Wedinzday 21st Decembaa 2022

"ROOM WITH A DIFFERENT VIEW!"

Anotthaa different seat in the stands for us---this time row DD in The Milburn Stand (3 row from the front) which gives a much different view from wor normal Level 7 Balcony seats high up behind us!

We were too low doon for my likin and cannit wait to sit in mee normal 'birds eye view' seat for the next Leegue game!

The game it haz to be said woz aaful, but NUFC were well on top and a dubious disallowed goal for Callum Wilson at The Gallowgate End in the forst half woz the highlight of that half.

It woz ruled oot for 'offside', but from wor pitch level perch we couldnt make oot if it woz or not? (Apparently NOT!)

Anyway!---the 2nd half wasnt much better and the main taalkin point woz a handbaall which wasnt given and an own goal from Bournemooth's number 15 Adam Smith, after he heeded past hiz own keeper from a Kieran Trippier cross in the 67th minute!----The anly goal of the game!

The 400 away followin had the cheek to keep singin "This is a loybree!" (Library) when they couldnt even fill the 500 section that they were in at the top corner of The Leazes End! (Hence the below capacity crowd of under 52,000!)

They were right up to a point az the atmosphere wozint very good at times!

We didnt play well and won ugly---which iz wot Man City, Chelseee and Livaapoool have done for years!   Thats just one loss in the 20 games we have played this season! (The one loss woz undesorved az well v Livaapoool!)

The draw for the qwaataa finals iz tomorrow neet after the Man City v Livaapoool tie!---so at least one of the so caalled 'big six' will be eliminated! 

Attendance: 51,579 (Just 453 from Bournemoooth)

*Spot the difference:

The view of the game that we had last neet

And the last time we were in wor normal seats high above! 

PS: On the same neet less than 2 miles away across the river Tyne, Gatesheed beat Gloucester 5-1 at The Gatesheed International Stadium in front of a 253 'crowd' (200 less than wot Bournemoooth brought to SJP)

That 253 included ONE FAN from Gloucester! Who got  a standin' ovation!😀👏 

THE TOON v BOURNEMOOOTH *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND *** TOOONEET AT SJP

 Posted '12:24pm bells' Tuesday 20th Decembaa 2022

SJP AT NIGHT FROM ROSIE'S BAR BALCONY ROSE GARDEN

After the 38 day break coz of The World Cup, NUFC are back in competitive action toooneet v Bournemoooth for a place in the qwaataa final of The Leegue Cup!

Aaall tickets are sold and for a change aa find meesel in the lower section of The Milburn Stand, somewhere near the front (Couldnt buy mee own seat in level 7 til they went on general sale--so opted for a lower level seat to make sure aa got one!) Just why they wont sell level 7 tickets for Cup games to season ticket holders forst, iz beyond me???)

NOTE: THE GAME WOZ MOVED BACK A DAY COZ OF THE NHS STRIKE  HENCE THE WRANG DATE ON THE MATCH TICKET

NUFC have lost just once in 17 games this season (unjustly at Livaapool!) and are unbeaten in wor last 11

Shud we win?--The draw for the next roond takes place on Thorzday neet and the tie will be sandwiched in between wor FA Cup away game at Sheff Wed and Fulim at SJP in January

Not sure how many fans Bournemoooth are bringin' up, but it wont be many and certainly they wont be az entertainin' az the Rayo fans were on Saturday! (Seee that match report below)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Wedinzday, so az per usual, "Watch this space!"