THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS ARE ON THE ROAD AGAIN

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 12th Octobaa 2022

THE MAIN STAND AT BODYMOOR HEATH

Friday sees 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' off on wor travels again, az we heed for Bodymoor Heath near Tamworth, where wor U21s are playin Villa U21s in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture at '6:00 bells'!

Its an aall ticket game and aa had to apply on Villa's website az it woz impossible to get through to their ticket office on the phone!

The voice message said "The ticket office is open between 10 am and 1pm!" It woz '11:15 am bells' when aa phoned up and they told me that and cut me off!!!

After several attempts, aa gave up and phoned the main number, which rang for 5 minutes before a lass eventually answered and said she wud put me through to the ticket office, which told me (aye!--yiv guessed it!) to phone between 10am and 1pm! (Az far az I'm aware 11:15am iz between these 2 times???)

After many (many!) more attempts online aa woz finally successful ("HORRAY!") and got a 'prized'? 'E ticket' for the princely sum of £5 

Honest!-- yi wud have thought aa woz after an FA Cup final ticket and not a ticket for a daft resorve game!

For that reason alone, anly a handful of Toon fans will be there, az they probably 'gave up' in frustration! (Like aa nearly did!)

It shud be noted that nee tickets will be available on the day and that neebody will be admitted withoot an 'E ticket'! 

A match report on that game will appear here sometime ower the weekend!  Az per usual "Watch this space!"

BIG NEIL SUPER FAN RIP

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 10th Octobaa 2022

ONE OF BIG NEIL'S BRAND NEW TRUCKS WITH A STUNNIN' TRIBUTE TO NUFC!  

IT COST HIM THOOSANDS TO GET THE AIR BRUSH ARTWORK ON THE CAB!

We are sad to announce that an old mate of wors and massive Toon fan caalled Big Neil haz passed away! Neil owned a vendin' business on the Team Valley in Gatesheed and a fleet of trucks and vans!

I worked for him when The Toon were in Europe a few years ago!

I drove one of hiz trucks with the NUFC crest on both sides, but needed 3 days off at a time to gan to the away games in many obscure places abroad!

One day Big Neil said to me: "Fink, I cannit run the job aroond NUFC games! It's the job or NUFC!"

I chose NUFC!

RIP BIG LAD!

 

THE TOON 5 BRENTFAAD 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 9th Octobaa 2022

⅚

The flags celebratin' the 1st annivorsary of the takeover-' slaaggin off The Fat Controller and Talk Sport who said the takeover woz :"Dead in the water!"

"ONE NIL DOON----TWO NIL UP!"

A virtuoso  (we naa aall the big words!) performance from NUFC saw a 5 goal thrashin to sting The Bees from Brentfaad (sic!) at SJP yesterday afternooon!

It started off badly az we went behind in the 10th minute (or so we thought) until a VAR decision ruled Mbeumo's goal oot for offside to loud cheers from the Toon fans and dispair for the travellin Brentfaad fans!

The 'real' goal sequences were az follows:

21st minute: Bruno sends a bullet heeder off the far post at The Leazes End from a Trippier cross to open the scorin'!

28th minute: Callum Wilson intercepts a mistayk by a Brentford defender to cross the baall to Jacob Murphy for an easy sidefoot shot into the back of the net! 2-0 

This promted some fans behind me to sing: "One nil doon, two nil up!" (if that makes sense?)

2-0 HT UP!

53rd minute: A hand baall by Dan Burn in the box gives Brentfaad a penalty which woz taken by ex Toon player Ivan Toney, who sent Nick Pope in the Toon goal the wrang way to pull a goal back! 2-1

56th minute: Bruno runs through the Brentfaad defence to fire home a glorious right foot shot to restore wor 2 goal margin to deafenin cheers from the home faithful!

82nd minute: An attempted back pass to the Brenfaad keeper by Pinnock iz intercepted by Miggy Almiron who roonded the keeper to put us 4-1 up!

90th minute: Pinnock's nightmare continues az he slices a cross into hiz own goal to complete the rout to loud cheers from the 50,000 Toon fans!

FT 5-1

After the match we heeded for The Bodega where a Brentfaad fan with a large bee on the front of hiz t shirt caalled Leon, foond oot that I did this website: "I hope you put in wot a dead atmosphere it woz from you lot!"  "Where woz your famous atmosphere?", he added!

Me 'finks' Leon needs to buy a hearin aid sharpish!

Attendance: 52,067 (2,000 Bees who were well and truely 'STUNG'!)

*Footnote: At the time of writin' we have moved up to 5th in the table!

It's 88 years since Brentfaad last won at SJP

And on this showin' it will be anothaa 88 years before they get the chance to win here again!

THE TOON V BRENTFAAD *** TODAY

 Posted 'high noon 🔔 bells' Saturday 8th Octobaa 2022

VIEW FROM THE TYNE BRIDGE OF THE 'NEW'CASTLE AND 2 CATHEDRALS (ST. NIX AND ST. JAMES' PARK!)

Today we face Brentfaad at SJP in a '3:00 🔔s' kick off!

3 points are vital to help us climb up the table to hopefully 6th top? (A big win and othaa results gannin wor way this weekend, cud actually propel us up to 4th place!)

Isak iz still injured but Saint Max and Joelinton shud start which iz good news!

The game iz a complete selloot but with anothaa train strike today, it will be interestin to see just how many Brentfaad fans have travelled up from London?

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

And some news from the west Midlands!

HAPPY ANNIVORSAREEEE!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 7th Octobaa 2022

Today iz a very special day for aall NUFC fans---for this iz the day one year ago that we finally got rid of 'The Fat Controller', to be replaced by the PIF!

And wot a difference a year makes!--- at this time last year we were winless and rock bottom under 'Broken Nose Bruce' and heedin for the abysss----and then oot of the blue the takeower happened sparkin' joyous scenes at SJP!

Now, under 'Steady Eddie' we are 7th in the Premyaa Leegue table and on a yearly form guide actually 6th best with Eddie in charge!

'The Geordie Times' will be oot later on for some celebratory drinks in various boozers aroond the groond!

THE SEVENTH OF OCTOBAA 2021---A GREAT DAY IN WOR LANG HISTORY!

A message from wor chairman

A message from Wor Flags

PS: In complete contrast, 'Steady Eddie' haz taken NUFC from a relegation place to a European place on the form guide, while 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz taken WBA from a play off place to a relegation place on the form guide!

"I'm not everybodys cup of tea!", 'Old Broken Nose' said after angry fans remonstrated with him (and hiz son!) at Preston, after WBA had lost 1-0 through the week! (1 win in 12 games!)

Now where have we hord that sayin' before?---before?---before?

FULIM 1 THE TOON 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Sunday 2nd Octobaa 2022

" A 4MIDABLE PERFORMANCE!"

For the 2nd time this season a train strike 'derailed' (sic) wor plans to gan to an away game by train!  It meant we had to travel by 'jam jar'  doon the M1 to stop in Wotfaad for the Friday neet and catch a Metropolitan line tube (they were runnin) to west London on Saturday for wor match at Fulim!

After several 'booze stops' on Friday neet (when it p*ssed doon!) and Saturday dinnaatime (when the sun came oot!) we arrived at Craven Cottage for the game!

We started off well az we attacked the far Hammersmith End and within 5 minutes Callum Wilson had hit the post!---Then 3 minutes later and after a VAR check Fulim's Chalobah woz sent off for a nasty challenge on Sean Longstaff!

The breakthrough came not lang after this when a Trippier cross foond Wilson in the penalty area and he hit a sweet shot to open the scorin' in the 11th minute!

It woz aall NUFC az we went for the 2nd goal---and we didnt have to wait lang when Miggy Almiron hit a glorious left footed volley from the edge of the box from a Botman or Bruno cross (not sure who crossed it?) to double wor lead!

THE NEW RIVERSIDE STAND WHICH IZ STILL UNDER COSTRUCTION

A Botman heeder then hit the post and the baall fell nicely to Longstaff who hit home unmarked to treble wor lead!

3-0 at half time!

Again, at the start of the 2nd period we laid seige to their goal az we attacked the Putney End where we were housed!

Not lang after the restart a Joe Willock cross foond Almiron who hit a left footed shot into the corner of the net to quadruple wor lead and send the 2,300 faithful who had made the difficult journey doon into delerium!

SPOT THE 'CRAVEN' COTTAGE?

We aalso had 2 goals disallowed from Almiron (to deny him hiz hat-trick) and Fraser, both for very marginal offside decisions!

Fulim did pull one back in the last throws of the game to deny us a clean sheet, but a 4-1 win woz still impressive against the 10 men, az we moved up to 7th pace in the leegue table! (much better than last season when we were winless and rock bottom at this stage of the campaign!)

HAPPY FANS AND PLAYERS AT FULL TIME!

It woz then 2 tube rides back to Wotfaad to pick up wor car, which had been blocked in by a pick up truck in the hotel's car park!

After 15 minutes a foreign gadgy came to shift it, az we glared menacingly at him for hiz crazy parkin'!

5 hours later and we were back on Tyneside, exhausted by wor ordeal, but very happy with wor performance indeed! 

Attendance: 22,913 (2,300 very happy Toon fans!)

PUB CRAWL PHOTOS IN WOTFAAD AND WEST LONDON!

WOTFAAD

HAMMERSMITH, WEST LONDON  

FULIM V THE TOON

 Posted from '8:30 am bells' onwards, Saturday 1st Octobaa 2022

Due to the train strike today, we were forced to drive to a hotel in Wotfaad on the Friday for an owerneet stay!

After spending the neet in Wotfaad toon centre in torrential rain on a pub crawl (pix later) the plan woz to heed off to West London on the Metropolitan tube line on Saturday mornin for wor game v Fulim at Craven Cottage!---But not before stoppin off at a few drinkin dens on the way!

A match and booze report will appear here sometime later

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

TEAM LINR UP!

FULIM ITINERARY!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Wedinzday 28th September 2022

"FULIM FURORE!"

Owing to the train strike this Saturday 'The NUFC Mad-Sad Groundhoppers' have been forced to travel doon to Wotfaad in 'Big Al's 'jam jar' on Friday (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) for wor game at Fulim in west London at '3:00 bells' on Saturday!

The plan iz to stop for the neet in Wotfaad and travel to Craven Cottage via the 'Metropolitan line' az the tube drivers arn't on strike like the train drivers!

It's not wot we wanted to dee of course, but the hotels in London have upped their prices to a eye watering £800 to £1,000 a neet for Saturday, az the London Marathon iz on on Sunday! (50,000 runners!)

We are NOT millionaires, so a 'cheapish' (£50 each) hotel in Wotfaad it iz on Friday neet! (Wotfaad iz aboot 25 miles from London to the north)

Then we will gan to the match on Saturday by tube and travel back to Tyneside after the match by road ---of course! (The hotel in Wotfaad iz 5 times az much to stay on Saturday)

PS: NUFC arn't they anly Premyaa Leegue fans who are affected by the train strike: Brentfaad are at Bournemoooth, Brightin are at Liverpoool, Evaatin are at Sooothampton and Wolves are at West Ham!----Plus aall the othaa lower leegue and non leegue sides, plus the marathon runners of course!

NOT! THE TICKET!

PPS: Some Toon fans with 70-80 loyalty points have been told that they WON'T receive their tickets due to oversellin'!!!! (It just gets worse folks!)

BEE STING!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 24th September 2022

NUFC fans are not the anly ones to suffer from train strikes!

Wor game at Fulim in west London next Saturday iz hit by a train strike on the day and wor next home game v Brentfaad iz aalso hit by a train strike on 8th October, meeeenin Bees fans cannit get here from London by train! (ie: They've been 'STUNG'!) (sic!)

Wor plans are 'up in the air' for Fulim, az we must now travel doon on Friday and come back on Sunday!----The anly problem IZ  The London marathon iz the day after we play Fulim and hotels are a mooth waaterin price for Saturday neet (£200-£300 a room!)

WE havvint decided just wot to dee yet, but drivin doon iz sommik we divvint want to dee az the roads to London will be chocker---especially with marathon traffic!

We will find a way to get there of course!----Just like Brentfaad fans will have to dee to get to 'wor place'!

More on aall this later!

"ARE WE JINXED OR WOT!?"

 Posted 'high noon 🔔 bells' Tuuzday 20th September 2022

MR JINKS THE CARTOON CAT!

"IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH EVERY AWAY DAY!"

Followin the Queen's sad passin' a week gone Thorzday it woz inevitable that wor game at West Ham on the following Sunday wud be caalled off!---And so it woz!

This meant that the train tickets bought and hotel sorted were useless--so we managed to change the bookings to the Sporz game on Saturday 22nd of Octobaa!

They then moved that game again to Sunday the 23rd, despite havin moved it once for live telly and so again we had to change the bookings! ? (Thank yoo SKY!)

The Queen's death meant that a train strike last Saturday woz cancelled and moved to when we play Fulham away in a fortneets time---MEEENIN! That the train tickets we had bought to travel to London and back on the day were again useless!

Add in the fact that there woz a train strike on the day we were to play Brighton away in August and the situation gets ridiculous!

We had to rebook that to travel on the Friday and come back on the Sunday at great extra expense for hotels and more train tickets! (We claimed the train money back but had to pay an extra £105 each for hotels!)

And then there woz Wolves away when the train stopped at Crewe and we were told that because of unfinished linework near Wolverhampton the train cud travel nee forthaa!

8 of us then had to climb in 2 taxis on the station concourse to Wolves az there woz nee othaa way of gettin there!

£200 between the 8 which worked oot at £25 each!

AND (wait for it!!!) Wor train back from Liverpoool the day after the game woz cancelled because of a shortage of train crew!---which meant we had to catch a much later train back yem!

AND THEN! (aye, there's more!) there woz the 'roadtrip' to Tranmere for a Leegue Cup tie, where THREE motorways were closed on the way back because of night road works which meant it took considerably langer to get back than intisepated!!! ⬅️(We naa aall the big words!)

HONESTLY!-- YI COULDN'T POSSIBLY MAKE IT UP!!!

Iz it Friday the 13th every time we play away this season??????