NOHRICH v THE TOON **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '8:00pm bells' Friday 22nd April 2022

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE IN 2019---A 3-1 DEFEAT!

We make wor last 'lang distance trip' of the season, this time to deepest Norfolk, when we take on 'Delia's Canary Custard Coloured Creams' at '3:00 bells' tomorrow!----Aall 2,650 away tickets were sold oot ages ago!

The home side are aalmost certainly relegated, unless they win AALL their remainin' games----very highly unlikely! 

NUFC on the other hand are 'on a roll' of 3 successive home wins, which haz propelled us up to the 'dizzy heights' of 11th in the Premyaa Leegue table!---A remarkable tornaroond in just 3 months by 'Steady Eddie'!

We are on the '6:30 bells' train to Peterboro in the mornin'---and then onward to Nohrich from there, on a torturous 2 carriage train, that tex ages to get there! (ie: A bus on rail tracks!)

We will then heed for 'The Murderers Arms' in the city centre---wor usual 'port o call' roond theeeze parts!

THE GARDENERS ARMS AKA THE MURDERERS ARMS!

NUFC are odds on favorites to win, but az we have seen in the past, 'anything can happen' when we come to toon! (The last time we were here---and in complete contrast to the mood now, woz 2019, when we lost 3-1 in a terrible game---'Broken Nose Bruce's 1st away game in charge!---(say no more!)

At least we have reached the magical 40 points mark---'magical' because that figure 'normally' guarantees safety!?

 A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!   "Az per usual: "Watch this space!"

*Explanation: Celerity Chef Delia Smith iz co.owner of Nohrich, hence: 'Delia's Canary Custard Coloured Creams' (Nohrich of course play in Yellow shirts and are nicknamed 'The Canaries')  

THE TOON 1 THE PALLISS EAGLES 0 *** PREMYA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Thorzday 21st April 2022

"EDDIE THE EAGLE----SLAYER!"

From bein' 19th and 5 points adrift of safety when 'Steady Eddie' took ower last November, to 11th and 15 points above the drop zone now, iz a truely amazin' stat and NUFC will now become the ANLY team to be bottom of the Premyaa Leegue before Xmas to escape the drop!

"WOW!---WOT A TORNAROOND!"

Aalso this woz wor SIXTH Premyaa Leegue home win in a row, which iz anly matched by Bobby Robson in 2004!

We started the game off well against The Eagles of Palliss and had a few orly chances az we attacked The Leazes goal!

The breakthrough came after a magnificent volley from Bruno foond 'Miggy' Almiron runnin doon the East Stand wing and he cut inside to send a left foot shot into the far corner of the goal from a tight angle, to send 51,000 Toon fans wild with delight!

Miggy then ran ower to the East Stand with hiz shirt off and jumped ower the advertisin' hoardings to be greeted by the fans in the front row who hugged him az we aall celebrated!

The 2nd half woz a 'backs to the waall' affair az Palliss strode for the equaliser---and they came close several times az they battered wor defence---but couldnt find a way past!

The crowd whistled wildly az the 4 minutes of stoppage time seemed to take 4 hours!---But finally the ref blew for full time to to relief and delight of aall those of black n white persuasion!

Miggy woz the SEVENTEENTH different player to score for NUFC this season in The Premyaa Leegue!!!! (See stats at bottom!)

'Steady Eddie' for manager of the month?---More like manager of the YEAR! 

 *Attendance: 51,938 (Palliss anly sold 750 tickets, which iz 33,250 less than they took to Wembley last Sunday for the FA Cup semi final defeat v Chelski!---Loyal supporters my arse!---This woz aalso the worst away followin' at SJP this season!  ⬇️⬇️⬇️

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THE TOON V THE PALLISS *** TOONEET !

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 20th April 2022

The games are comin' up thick and fast and tooneet we play wor 2nd home game in 4 days when Cristil Palliss come to Toon!

They come on the back of a 2-0 defeat to Chelski in the FA Cup semi final at Wembley on Sunday and hopefully they will be on 'a downer', followin that defeat!?

NUFC of course are 'on a high' after Bruno's spectacular divin' heeder to win the game v Lestaa in the 5th and last minute of stoppage time on Sunday afternooon!

A result that makes it virtually impossible for The Toon to be relegated now!

We are level with Palliss on 37 points and a win would leapfrog them, Sooothampton and Brentfaad into 11th place in the table! (Sooothampton and Brentfaad arn't playin tooneet and are just 2 points better off than us!)

The WOR FLAGS display on Sunday woz FANtastic, but could we have some in The Milburn Stand Family Enclosure in 'level 7' pleeeze!----The kids would love to have the chance to wave flags 'up here'----I know that this section isn't in view of the telly cameras, but it would be great if it could finally happen!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here, sometime on Thorzday!---Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

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THE TOON 2 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Easter Munday 18th April 2022

BRUNO'S WINNER AND CELEBRATIONS!

"HAPPY EASTER!"

A memorable goal that we will remember for years to come, woz scored by Bruno in the 95th minute with a superb divin' heeder at The Gallowgate End, from a Joe Willock cross, to seal a 2-1 victory and seeel virtual Premyaa Leegue survival!

It started off badly az Lestaa scored in the 19th minute through Lookman, who hit a set piece move shot from a corner by former Toon player Perez!

This silenced the Toon fans for a while az the Lestaa fans sang "This is a LOYBREE!"   Grandson Jamie asked wot a 'loybree' woz and I told him that they had dodgy accents and were actually singin' LYBREE ('LIBRARY'!)

They were soon silenced however, when a scramble on the goal line at The Leazes End had Bruno toe poke the baall ower the line after Lestaa goalie Schmeichal failed to hold the baall and at forst the ref disallowed it, but woz told by the VAR to take a look at the incident on the pitch side monitor in front of The East Stand---and after wot seemed like an age pointed to the centre spot to indicate that he had changed hiz mind and the goal stood!----This awoke 'the sleepin' giants' az the groond erupted into a crescendo of noise, which enveloped aall 4 sides! (Apart from 2,500 of The Basil Brush Brigade' high up in The Leazes End)  

The 2nd half woz a dour affair and looked certain to end in a draw, but Brazilian Bruno had othaa ideas and deep into stoppage time he send the crowd into overdrive with this last gap winner az he took hiz shirt off to celebrate in from of The Gallowgate faithful!

The Lestaa fans looked shattered az they sat in their very own LOYBREE with not a sound from them now! (ie: They wornt laffin anymore!)                             ↓↓↓↓↓

Bornley (who were winnin at West Ham) anly came away with a draw and so NUFC are now TWELVE points clear of the drop zone with games runnin oot! 

"HAPPY EASTER INDEED!"

Attendance:52,104

And guess who woz on the front of The match programme?

And here are some amazin' stats aboot 'Steady Eddie'!

We have averaged 2 points per game this year and most of them have been withoot top striker Callum Wilson and Kieran Tripper!

Aalso we havvint lost at SJP in The Premyaa Leegue since before Xmas! (88 days and coontin'!)

Miggy Almiron  nicks a 'Wor flag'! (Last player!)

Happy fans leave SJP!

And the players celebrate in the dressin' room!

"Can we have Wor Flags back pleeze!?"

Amanda's hubby nicked one az well in the directoers box!

THE TOON V THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE OF LESTAA *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Easter Saturday 15th April 2022

SJP AND TYNE BRIDGES FROM THE AIR!

NUFC are unbeaten at SJP in the Premyaa Leegue since a 0-4 reverse v Man City before Xmas!

Since then we have won 4 and drawn 2 at home

Lestaa are not far aheed of us in the Leegue and a win would put us just 3 points behind them! (They are 9th)

3 more points would banish aall fears of relegation, az we would then have 37 points, shud we win! This game iz completly sold oot az iz wor home game v Cristill Palliss on Wedinzday!

Az we divvint play til tomorrow, we are off to dee some non leegue groundhoppin' today at Pontefract Colls, where mee fave non leegue team Dunston are playin' in a Northern Premyaa Leegue East fixture

A match report on both games will appear here (eventually!) 

"HE'S READY, HE'S STEADY AND HIZ NAME IZ EDDIE!"

 Posted '12:30pm bells' Thorzday 14th April 2022

'HOWE' THE LEEGUE TABLE WOULD LOOK IF THE SEASON HAD STARTED WHEN EDDIE TOOK OWER!

Eddie Howe haz now been in charge of NUFC for 20 games!--When he took ower from 'Broken Nose Bruce' and interim manager Graeme Jones, we were 'rock bottom', in 20th place in the Premyaa Leegue table, with NEE wins and looked doomed to relegation---az rival fans took the p*ss! (NUFC had FIVE measly points from 11 games!)

"ALL THAT MONEY AND YOU'RE GOING DOWN!", they aall sang with delight! 

WELL!---They arn't singin' that now!----ARE THEY?---az we are now 10 points from the 'abyss', after 'Steady Eddie' performed miracles with the existin' players and new January signings, to lift us oot of the drop zone!

Indeed, if the season had started when Eddie took the reigns from Graeme Jones, we would be in 8th place in the table now, with 8 wins and 5 draws oot of the 20 games!

Wor last home defeat in the Premyaa Leegue woz against current champions Man City---and that woz before Xmas!  

The question on everybody's lips iz: HOWE haz he done it????

THE END GAME IZ NEAR!

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Tuesday 12th April 2022

Most clubs in the bottom half of the table have eetha 7 or 8 games to play before the end of the season!

NUFC are 10 points clear of the drop and are currently 11/4 to gan doon!

Relegation odds:

15 The Toon 11/4

16 Leeedz 10/1

17 Evaatin 4/11

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18 Bornley 1/16

19 Wotfaad 1/16

20 Nohrich 1/66

The bookies are very rarely wrang and with the huge gap, we shud be OK!🙏

Up next for NUFC are 'The Basil Brush Brigade' of Lestaa at SJP next Sunday----Lestaa have sent back 70 tickets, which not suprizingly have been snapped up by Toon fans and the game iz sold oot (again!) 

IF we win, we will anly be 3 points behind Lestaa who sit in 9th place in the table!----Who would have believed that, az just 4 months ago, we were rock bottom of the table? with nee wins in 13 games! (We now have 8 wins under wor belt under 'Steady Eddie'!)

"HAPPY DAYS!" 🤪👍

THE TOON 1 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 9th April 2022

"FROM UTTER DISPAIR TO UNBRIDLED JOY IN 5 DAYS!"

This woz yet anothaa game we 'must not lose' and 'must not lose' we did! After the disastrous 5-1 defeat at Sporz last Sunday, when we were in 'utter dispair'---and Bornley's win ower Evaatin in midweek--- the gap between 'us' and 'them' had been reduced to just 7 points AND they had a game in hand!----So we HAD to get sommik from this game!

It woz a scrappy game with barely a shot on target from eethaa team, but the breakthrough came (or so we thought!) in the 22nd minute when Bruno sent a cross in at The Leazes End for Chris Wood to score from a low position on the groond!

This sent the majority of the selloot 52,000 plus crowd into meldoon, but the goal looked offside to me and sure enough a VAR check ruled it oot az the 3,000 Wolves fans roared with delight in 'Level 7' behind that goal!

The 2nd half woz just the same---BUT!-----Just when it looked az though the game might end up 0-0--a through baall from Joelinton to Chris Wood, had him racin' into the penalty area and he woz uncermoniously brought doon by Sa in the Wolves goal at The Gallowgate End, for a 'stonewaall' penalty!

Wood took it himself az we 'prayed' in the stands and thankfully he sent their goalie the wrang way to put us 1-0 up in the 72nd minute to score hiz forst home goal!

The 'Wanabeez' pressed forward for an equaliser az Toon fans frantically whistled for the ref to blow for full time and eventually he did with 5 minutes stoppage time played az the relief of the crowd torned to cheers!

A VERY valuable 3 points which sent us up to 14th in the table and more importantly TEN points above the drop zone!

Beleeeve it or not, NUFC are just THREE points behind Pallis in NINETH place ---az we speak!!!

From utter dispairs after Sporz---to unbridled joy last neet!---A typical NUFC roller coaster jorney for certain!

ATTENDANCE: 52,164 (3,000 Wanabeez!)

The Toon's odds of gannin doon are now 50/1 and are aallmost certain to avoid the drop now!---NOT 'cast in stone yet', but the stonemason iz standin' by with hiz hammer and chisel! 

VERY HAPPY FANS PASS 'THE STRAWBERRY' AFTER THE GAME!

 Updated Sunday Neet!

Nohrich beat Bornley 2-0 which meeenz Bornley are still 10 points behind NUFC with just 8 games to gan!

THE TOON V WOLVERHAMPTON WANAABEEZ *** TOONEET!

 Posted from 'high noon 🔔 bells' onwards, Friday 8th April 2022

VIEW OF SJP FROM LEAZES PARK LAKE AT NIGHT!

We hate repeatin' worsels, but this iz yet anothaa game we MUST win, or at least NOT lose!

With just 7 points between us and the bottom 3 now, we reeely need a boost after wor last 2 shambolic away performances against Evaatin and Sporz! 

The lang absences of Trippier and Wilson have certainly weakened wor squad and doubts ower Willock will make tooneet's game a nail biter for the selloot crowd!

The teams aroond us will be waitin in the wings like circlin' vultures, hopin that we fail, az they don't play til tomorrow and Sunday!

IT'S "SQUEEKY BUM TIME!" FOLKS!

'Divvint lose' iz wor motto today and just 6 more points from wor remainin' 8 games would see us safe!  NUFC havvint lost a home in the Premyaa Leegue this year----and yi have ti gan back til before Xmas for wor last home defeat! (0-4 v Man City)

Oh! for a team to support that doesn't fight relegation battles season after season!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Saturday!

Let's hope it's a good one!?

MORE TELLY TIMES FOR NUFC!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 6th April 2022

Updated '12:14pm bells' Thorzday

2 more NUFC games have been changed for live telly---and they are:

The Blue Moonies of Manchester away will now be played on Sunday 8th May with a '4:30 bells' ko---live on SKY

Wor home game v The Arse will now be played on Munday 16th May with an '8:00 bells' ko---aalso live on SKY

Meeenwhile, there iz a very important game which affects NUFC tooneet, when 'The Bornley Hillbillies' take on 'The Toffee Noses of Evaatin' in a six pointer for both! 

Bornley are 10 points behind us, while Evaatin are 6 points behind!

A goalless draw would be the best result for NUFC, az both clubs will drop 2 points if this happens and not improve their goal differences!

The 2nd best result iz an Evaatin win, az Bornley will still be 10 points adrift, but on the othaa hand Evaatin will move within 3 points of us!

The worst result iz a Bornley win, which will see them move within 7 points off The Toon!

With 3 home games off the belt, startin' on Friday at home to Wolves, we can anly hope that we can banish aall fears of the drop by the time the 3 games are played!---The othaa 2 are against 'The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa' on Sunday week and Cristilll Palliss the followin Wedinzday!

Updated '12:14pm bells' Thorzday

Bornley won 3-2 and so NUFC are anly 7 points above the relegation zone!-----We desperately need to pick up at least 4 points from wor 3 home games----startin' tomorrow neet against Wolves!