BLANKETY BLANK AGAIN!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 26th March 2022

For the 2nd weekend in a row NUFC have nee game, due to yet anothaa International break!

It's crazy when yoo 'fink' aboot it!-----3 lang distance away games crammed into 8 days at the beginnin' of March and then nee games at aall for 17 days!

April iz anothaa crazy month because of this, az we have 6 games to play in 4 weeks!

Wor next game iz away again (in north London) when we face Sporz in 8 days time----wor FOURTH away game in a row!

In April we have 3 home games in a row to compensate!

Wor 'fix' for today iz at wor fave non leegue club, 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, who are playin Cleethorpes Toon at Dunston, with a '3 bells' kick off in a Northern Premyaa Leegue (East Division) enncoontaa!

It's a nice sunny day on Tyneside and there are several non leegue games in wot iz caalled 'NON LEEGUE DAY' for Toon fans to gan tee for their 'fix', includin' Gatesheed, Blyth, Soooth Sheeelds, Hebburn, plus a full list of Northern Leegue ('3:00 bells' ko's) and Northern Alliance Leegue games ('2:30 bells' ko's)

So there iz plenty of choice to support a local non leegue side this afternooon!

A match report on the Dunston game will appear here sometime on Sunday!----Az per usual "Watch this space!"

A 'GULF' IN CLASS!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Thorzday 24th March 2022

TOON PLAYERS AND STAFF AT THE TRAININ' CAMP!

GULF UNITED 0  THE TOON 5

NUFC hammered Gulf United 5-0 in a behind closed 🚪 doors game in the UAE, with 2 goals from St.Max and Dwight Gayle and 1 from Joelinton to wrap up wor warm wethaa trainin camp in Dubai, orlier this mornin'

Former Toon defender Steven Taylor (believe it or not?) woz the manager for Gulf and he admitted that there woz indeed a "gulf in class!" between the 2 sides!

PS: Both Kieran Trippier and Callum Wilson were there, but took nee part in the game, az they continue their rehabilitation! 

"BRUNO IZ A GEORDIE!"

 Posted '12:22pm bells' Wedinzday 23rd March 2022

*

SHEARER STATUE MOVE IMMINENT!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔 bells' Munday 21st March 2022

News that the Alan Shearer statue iz to be moved from the demolished toilet block on Barrack Road reaches us!

It iz to be relocated to the stairway on the othaa side of the Bobby Robson statue--and not before time!

We arn't sure exactly when this will happen, but it could be very soon?

It haz been on Barrack Road since 2016, az wor former owner 'The Fat Controller' refused point blank to have it on club land, az he had faallen oot with wor record goalscorer, when he slagged him off!

It's fittin' that it's just roond the corner from the renamed Shearer's Bar! (See story on that in the last but one article!)

A TRUCKIN' TOON TRAVELLER'S TALES

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 20th March 2022

It haz been a hectic 2 weeks of travellin' for me, followin The Toon to 3 lang distance away games to Soothampton, west London and Liverpoool for wor game v Evaatin on Thorzday---AND drivin mee truck between the Team Valley in Gatesheed and Redditch in deepest Worcestershire!

Mee diary ower the last 2 weeks woz az follows!

Munday 7th, Tuesday 8th and Wedinzday 9th March: Truck run to Redditch and back 3 times at 444 miles per roond trip = 1,332 miles

Thorzday 10th and Friday 11th March: Travel to Sooothampton and back by train for wor game at St.Mary's Stadium via London---          Roond trip = 700 miles 

Saturday 12th and Sunday 13th March: Travel to west London and back by train for wor game at Stamford Bridge v Chelski---Roond trip = 532 miles

Munday 14th, Tuesday 15th and Wedinzday 16th March: Truck run to Redditch and back 3 times at 444 miles per roond trip= 1,332 miles

Thorzday 17th and Friday 18th March: Travel to Liverpoool and back by train via York for wor game v Evaatin at Goodison Park---Roond trip = 320 miles 

Total miles travelled for 14 days in a row = 4,216 miles averaging at just ower 300 miles per day!----Nee wonder that I am knackered and yesterday I  'stopped still' and the furthest I 'travelled' woz Shearer's Bar underneath The Gallowgate End! (Roond trip by bus 5 miles!) 

IT's crazy that we had to cram 3 away games in, in 8 days--- and that there iz now a 2 and a half week break from wor last game to wor next game v Sporz in north London on Sunday April 3rd!

And guess wot?---I am off to Redditch again next week!---It's a never endin' jorney!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhoppin' trucker!)

SHEAR MAGIC!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 19th March 2022

After gettin back from the Evaatin game on Friday, it woz a mad dash yem to pick granddaughter Freya up from skoool and then anothaa mad dash to NE 1 in Str🍓wberry Place for the grand reopennin' of Shearer's Bar underneath The Gallowgate Stand!

After an exhaustin' 14 days consecutive travellin' (will publish an artice on this on Sunday) it woz nice to relax and visit a boozer that I have mainly avoided since wor former owner 'The Fat Controller' changed the name of 'Shearer's to 'NINE' a few years ago, in revenge for slaggin him off!

This 'iconic' boozer will now gan back on mee 'Toon Pub Crawl' list once again!

THE TOFFEE NOSES 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from '10:44am bells' onwards, Friday 18th March 2022 on the train back from Livaapoool

"IZ THAT HARRY POTTER!?"
 

"POST' TRAUMATIC STRESS!"

Wor thord away game in little more than a week ended in major disappointment at Goodison Park against 10 men Evaatin!

A 1-0 defeat with the anly goal of the game comin in the 99th minute through Iwobi !

The reason the game went on so long iz because a Harry Potter impersonator tied himself to a goalpost at The *Gladiss Street End of the groond! *(Can't remember how to spell it?)

He had a thin plastic tie roond hiz neck and post and it took qwaata of an hour to free him!

He then got frogmarched aroond the pitch az angry Evaatin and Toon fans hoyed bottles of drinks and coins at him az he passed by!

We simply didn't torn up, az a week on the road finally took its toll on us! We were dreadful and when Allan got hiz marchin orders in the 83rd minite for a bad 2 footed tackle on St Max, it made nee difference and the home side went aall oot to win it---and did!

The defeat meeenz that we are still lookin ower wor shoulders towards those below us in the table!---NUFC are still 9 points clear of the last relegation place!

A one to forget for certain az the 3,000 Toon fans suffered 'post' traumatic stress--in more ways than one!🥶

*THE PRE AND 'POST' MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!

*THE PRE TRAIN BACK 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!

*A TOON FAN IN HIZ 'JORDAN PICKFORD COSTUME!

UNFORTUNATLEEE PICKFORD WASN'T 'PICKED'!

AND NEWS OF A NEW HARRY POTTER FILM!

THE TOFFEE NOSES v THE TOON *** TOOONEEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 17th March 2022

ANOTHAA 'SIGN' THAT WE HAVE GOT WOR CLUB BACK!

For the thord time in liitle more than a week we are off on wor away travels again---this time to Liverpoool, where we take on Evaatin in a '7:45 bells' kick off!

The blue half of Morzeyside are not deein well and are sittin just above the drop zone with 22 points!   NUFC meeenwhile sit in 14th place with 31 points and so if we can win we will gan 12 points clear of them----BUT!---if we lose, they will anly be 6 points behind us with games in hand!

So this iz definitely a '6 pointer' for certain!----A draw iz much better for us than them, az we will maintain the 9 points difference! *Evaatin's cause isn't helped by the fact that their city rivals Livaapoool have won 9 games in a row and are just 1 point behind Man City at the top of the tree!--ie the pressure iz on them, not us!

3 away games in a week and then we have a 2 and a half week break before we play again!---anothaa away game v Sporz in 'norf Landan'! IT'S MAD!

In othaa news 'NINE bar' (underneath The Gallowgate End) haz been changed back to 'SHEARER'S and not before time! (Wor previous owner 'The Fat Controller' changed the name to 'NINE' oot of spite, az he didnt like the critisism that wor record goal scorer hoyed at him!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Friday (or Saturday---az the case may be!?)

Geordie Times quiz:

Wot is unique aboot today's game?

Answer will be given in match report if yih divvint naa!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"  (And find the answer oot!)

TELLY TIMES FOR APRIL

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Tuesday 15th March 2022

The telly times for late April have just been annoonced!

NUFC will play Lestaa at SJP on Sun 17th with a '2:15 🔔 ko Live on SKY

Wed 20th April Palliss at SJP '7:45 🔔 ko   nee live telly (Unless yoo have a dodgy box!)

Sat 23rd April Nohrich away at 3:00 🔔 ko   nee live telly

Sat 30th April The Liverbirds at SJP at '12:30 🔔 ko  live on BT

Telly games aalready arranged for March and orly April are listed below:

Thu 17th March Evaatin away at '7:45 bells ko  live on Amazon Prime 

Sun 3rd April Sporz away at '4:30 bells' ko live on Sky

Fri 8th April  Wolves at SJP '8:00 bells' ko  live on Sky

* 3 May games still to be annoonced

Sat 7th May? Man City away

Sun 15th May? The Arse at SJP

Sun 22nd May Bornley away at '4:00 bells' ko (Date and ko time cast in stone!

HORRAY!----ANOTHER 'AMANDA' ACTUALLY LIKES US AZ WELL!

 Posted 1:00pm bells' Tuesday 15th March 2022

AMANDA MILLING MP

*MP WELCOMES THE TAKEOWER OF NUFC