U-S-A-!, AALL THE WAY! **** 100,000 THANKYOOOZ!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 24th September 2021

"THE GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!" *** "HOWAY THE LADS!"

*The Geordie Times haz just received wor 100,000th hit from the USA!  We thank each and every one of yoo for loggin into this site from across the pond!

This iz the 2nd highest behind the UK (az yoo'd expect!)

Who says wor American cousins divvint like futbaall of the roond baall variety!?

The celebrations have aalready begun on top of The Empire State Building in New York! (see photo!)

Once again many thanx for loggin into this mad-sad Toon website! 

THE TOP 20 AALTIME LIST

And divvint forget!- The Geordie Times iz advort free!---meeenin that we make nee financial  gain and that we get paid F**K AALL for dein this website!  We dee it for the love of NUFC for FREE!

DISPAIR AND JOY FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 23rd September 2021

HELLEVISION NEWS!

The telly fixtures for November are oot and to the dispair of NUFC fans, 2 lang distance away games have been moved to crazy kick off times!

Forst of aall, wor visit to 'Nee Where Near Brightin' in orly November iz to be a Saturday '5:30 bells' kick off in BT, makin it impossible to get back to Tyneside by train-- and so an owerneet stay in London haz been forced upon us! (A 700 mile roond trip!)🥶👎

And then at the end of November it's a '12:30 bells' kick off at 'The Arse' in North London (thanx to BT again!)--meenin' that we must get oot of bed at an ungodly hour to catch the forst train to King's Cross! (London) (A roond trip of 600 miles!)😱👎

However!-- There IZ some joyous news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', az wor home game v Brentfaad on Saturday 20th November HAZZINT been picked for live telly on the Munday, az we feared and so it DOESN'T clash with wor maiden visit to Alfreton on Munday 22nd November, where NUFC U23s play Forest U23s in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture!

Indeed! 'Yours truely' haz aalready booked a days holiday from work for the occasion!

Another NEW groond for The NUFC 'saddos'!🤪👍

THE TOON U23S 2 THE P*SS POTTS U23S 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st September 2021

SECOND STRING SYNDROME!

Havin not been to Benton for 2 years to see wor U23s due to covid restrictions etc, it woz pleasin to see that the 3 boozers on route to the groond were still up and runnin!

After a quick gargel in The Junction bar next to the Haymarket bus station, it woz time to heed for Benton via Four Lane Ends on the Metro.

Forst 'port o call' woz The Benton Ale Hoose and then onwards to The Black Bull alang the road for some more liquid refresments, before finishing off in The Ship a few hundred yards from the entrance to Blue Flames, where the game woz due to kick off at '7:00 bells'!

On arrival the clubhoose woz cordoned off with a chain link rope fence and woz closed--The seats for the ordinary fans were aalso out of bounds!

Since aa woz last here a smaall roofed stand had been erected behind the far goal, but apart from that the groond looked the same az it woz 2 years ago!

A DUMP!

ANYWAY! The game kicked off and both sides struggled to create any chances!

The breakthrough happened just before the half-time interval when a Stoke player handled the baall in the box and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!

Elliot Anderson took it and he made nee misstayk with the kick! 

HT 1-0 to The Toon!

It didn't take lang for The P*ss Potts (Potters) to level things in the 2nd period when Wright-Phillips scored. It woz soon 2-1 against the run of play to wor visitors, when a Sparrow shot 'flew (sic!) into the net!

Their lead woz increased to 3-1 when Campbell latched onto a wayward pass to shoot past Dan Langley in the Toon goal!

Adam Wilson pulled one back in the 80th minute, but we couldn't find the equaliser and so wor U23s remain winless for the 4th game in a row!

Very similar to wor forst team in fact, who are winless in 5 Premyaa Leegue games!

Attendance:150 (estimated) Nee sign of any Stoke 'mad-sad groundhoppers'!

Ootside The Black Bull

We have to tell yoo that wor U23s game woz NOT televised live!

THE TOON U23s v THE P*SS POTTS U23s **** TOONEEET AT BLUE FLAMES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday  20th September 2021

BLUE FLAMES, AKA WHITLEY PARK, BENTON

Wor U23s are in action at Benton tooneet where we play the P*ss Potts of Stoke (The Potters!) in a Premyaa Leegue 2 encoontaaa!

Kick off iz at '7:00 bells' and admission iz free to season ticket holders!---For non season ticket holders its £3 for big kids and just £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

We have nee idea if the clubhoose iz open az it woz shut the last home game coz of covid restrictions?----Yoo couldnt even sit in the little stand on the halfway line az that woz oot of bounds too!

But fear not!---there are 3 boozers on the way from Four Lane Ends Metro station for the pre match gargels!--Namely The Benton Ale Hoose, The Black Bull and The Ship!

A Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime tomorrow!---AZ per usual "Watch this space!"

HOW RIDICULOUS IZ THAT!?

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 19th September 2021

"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

One of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' went extreme groundhoppin' yesterday when he heeded for Lestaa'z new Seagrave trainin' groond, which iz in 'the middle of nee where', to watch wor U18s play Lestaa'z U18s! (ie: a game on a field with nee stands)

'Glennn from Ashington', who cannit drive, got there by train and bus, anly to find that when he got to the trainin' complex that the game had been delayed, coz an ambulance and paramedics hadn't arrived---which iz compululsary for U18 games!

"WHERE'S THE AMBULANCE---LIKE!?"

None did arrive and so the game had to be postponed on 'Pitch 2'---a wasted jorney for Glennn?---well not quite!

Wor U16s were playin' on an ajoinin' pitch, some distance from the U18s game and so he rushed to 'Pitch 10' to watch that game instead---missin' 27 minutes coz of the late cancellation of the U18s game! (the kick off time woz at '1:00pm bells' for both games)

NUFC U16s drew 2-2 with Lestaa'z youngins, so at least he saw some futbaall on a new groond! (and he saw aall the goals!--unlike me at Dunston! (see below)

Apparently, yoo divvint need an ambulance or paramedics for an U16s game, which begs the question---"WHY NOT?" if its compulsary for U18 games?????

"HOW RIDICULOUS IZ THAT"!?????? 

PS: Glennn woz unable to send 'The Geordie Times' any pix of the game, az yoo arnt allowed to take photos of U16s games!

MEEENWHILE!

Bad Blue Boys 6  Frickley Athletic 0

'Yours truly' went to a game closer to home on Tyneside, namely Dunston v Frickley in a Northern Premyaa Leegue East Division game, where the home side ran riot with 6 goals in total! (I actually saw 5 of them, but missed the 3rd goal coz aa woz taakin to somebody!)

The goals were scored by Liam Thear (4th minute), Sado Djalo (18), Michael Hall (27), Liam Thear (38), Liam Thear pen for hiz hat-trick (70) and finally anothaa pen, taken by Terry Galbraith in the 90th minute!

Attendance: 310 includin a few diehards from Frickley

Mee golden goals ticket woz for the 80th minute!

(It didn't win of course!)

THE TOON 1 LEEEDZ 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 18th September 2021

VIEW FROM ROW 'B' OF THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

The game both sides needed to win ended in a 1-1 stalemate, but NUFC were lucky, to say the least to get the draw az Leeedz missed several good chances, especialy in the forst half!

They took the lead in the 13th minute when Raphinha had a shot from the edge of the box, which anothaa Leeedz player left, and it ended up in the back of the net at The Gallowgate End, beatin' Darlow in the Toon goal!

Thiz set the crowd gannin and "WE want Brucey out!" chants reverberated aroond aall 4 sides of the groond!

Matt Richie then came close when he hit the post with a raspin' shot, but it rebounded back into play to deny us the equaliser!

The mood woz hostile until a bit of magic from 'The Saint' (Saint-Maximin) levelled things just before the break when a pass from Joelinton foond him in the box and he jinked and weaved hiz way through the visitors defence to hit a shot into the corner of the net at The Leazes End, to send the Toon fans in the unexpected 50,000 crowd wild with delight!

It woz a very strange atmosphere az one minute Toon fans were supportin' the team and the next minute they were slaggin 'Brucey' and 'The Fat Controller' off!

Meeeenwhile the 3,000 Leeedz fans in The Leazes End top tier were in full voice with their crappy "Marchin' altogether!" songs!

I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!----FANS USED THEIR TOCHES TO LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS

THE 3,000 LEEEDZ FANS ARE ON THE TOP RIGHT!

The men from Yorkshire came close on a few occasions to retakin' the lead, but Karl Darlow (who had replaced Freddie Woodman in goal) made some great stops to deny them!

One protest from Toon fans woz to hoy paper planes from the terraces to try and stop the game and they had were thrown from aall sides of the groond, but none of them made it to the pitch!!!! (Must dee better next time!---tennis or golf baalls next?)

The game ended 'ones a piece', to a mixture of applause and boos from the Toon fans, with the applause for the players and the boooos for 'yee naa who'!

Two points from 15 lifted us to the dizzy heights of 18th in the table, while Leeedz now have 3 points!

That could aall change ower the weekend and if results divvint gan wor way, we could well find worsels in bottom place!!!

The joys of followin' NUFC!   

Attendance: 50,407 (many more than we thought would torn up!)

*

THE TOON V LEEEDZ *** TOONEET at '8:00 bells'!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Friday 17th September 2021

NUFC THE ZERO AMBITION CLUB!---IT'S THE 'HOPE' THAT KILLS YOO! 

Brucey (in a very depressed voice): "I will with my experience "HOPE?" that I can keep the club just ticking along🕒🕓🕔🕕🕗 and make sure that "Err!" the club stays where it is!" (currently in 19th position, which will get us RELEGATED, Brucey!----'HOPE'less!) 

(It's not aall hiz fault of course az 'The Fat Controller' refused to buy him more than one player in the transfor window!---and of course he won't walk away az he will lose hiz £4 million compen, if he does!)

Both teams gan into tooneets game at SJP withoot a win to their name this season, so far--and in wor case we have shipped 12 goals in 4 Premyaa Leegue games!

We are have ONE solitary point from 12, while Leeedz have 2 points and sit just 2 places above us in the table!

These are desperate times for Toon fans az we look towards the abyss of The Championship yet again!

'Brucey' haz just aboot fallen oot with everyone from wor hierarchy (who made a veiled attack on him!), to the players, (Hayden, etc) the press (The 'Ronny Gill' and others) and the fans! (of course!)

With Callum Wilson oot til 'God naaz when', we will nee doubt plod alang regardless with Jokelinton, etc! (Depressin' times indeed!)

At least goalie Karl Darlow iz fit again, az Freddie Woodman haz made some bad misstayaks, which have cost us dearly! (It woz 'leaked' in the press orlier this week that Woodman would be dropped!)

It's a category 'A' game with £40 the minimum adult price for the 'torture', which of course iz live on the 📺telly! ('OFF' buttons at the ready!)

3 points pleeeze, or else SJP will become very toxic indeed!☠

PS: We've hord 'through the grape vine' that there iz to be a big protest durin the game, with paper planes bein' 'flown' onto the pitch and referees whistles to be 'blowin' in the crowd!✈

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS OF WBA U23S 2 THE TOON U23S 0 *** FA PREMYAA RESORVE LEAGUE 2

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Tuesday 14th September 2021

The Toon are in aall light blue (pic taken by 'Alex of St. George')

Wor U23s were in action at Telford last neet, where we lost 2-0 to West Brom and 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' 'Alex of St. George' and woz there to witness it! (Hiz forst visit to New Bucks Head stadium!)

Most other groundhoppers like 'little old me' had been here before many moons🌙 ago (v Wolves resorves), so we didn't gan--and just az well, coz 2 bad misstayks cost us the game!

Forst, a shot by WBA's Castro that shud easily have been saved, slipped though keeper Dan Langley's hands and into the Toon net, to give 'The Baggie Troosers' the lead in the 33rd minute!

Their lead woz doubled 10 mins later when Toon defender Wiggett gave away a needless penalty after a daft challenge in the box on Richards.

Faal took it and sent Langley the wrang way! HT 2-0 to them!

That's the way it stayed az we couldn't find a way through the home defence in the 2nd period!

Attendance 138, includin Alex of course! (Plus striker Dylan Stephenson's mam and dad, pictured below!)

MOAN U 4 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 12th September 2021

"HOLLOW SORROW!"

We are not even halfway through September and aalready NUFC find worsels in 19th position in the leegue table with just one solitary point from a possible 12!

This 4-1 defeat at 'The Theatre of Muppets' woz not unexpected, but the scoreline WOZ a bit unfair on The Toon, az we battled away!

We had held oot til stoppage time in the forst half and looked likely to gan in at the break at 0-0, but disaster then struck when a shot by Moan U's Greenwood woz fumbled by Freddie Woodman in goal for us--and a certain Ronaldo woz on hand to tap the baall into the net, from inches oot, with the simplest of goals that your granny could have scored, pushin' hor zimmerframe! 

The 2nd period started off well for us and in the 11th minute in the half Manquillo broke through the Moan U defence to fire past De Gea in the home goal, in front of the 3,500 diehard Toon fans in that end!

There were wild celebrations from wor end and fans in their excitement fell ower seats next to us az they celebrated the unexpected goal!

It wasnt to be though and 'guess who' put the home side back into the lead in the 62nd minute, with a raspin' shot that seemed to gan straight though Woodman!

It woz soon 3-1 to them and 'curtains' for The Toon, when Fernandes hit an unstoppable shot past Woodman, who had nee chance with this one! Brucey, by this time woz gettin loads of stick and chants of, "We want Brucie out!" echoed aroond the away section!

To rub salt into the wounds Lingard completed wor misery deep into stoppage time to complete the scorin'!

At the end of the game wor number 7 Joelinton tried to swap shirts with Ronaldo's number 7, which iz a joke when yoo fink of the vast difference in class between the 2 of them! (Don't know if he did get the red number 7?)

Wor record goalscorer Alan Shearer later said on MOTD that NUFC were like a hollow and empty shell, with nee hope or ambition to win anything!

Just aboot sums up wor predicament, Alan!----NEE wins in FIVE competitive games, with anly Nohrich below us in the table!---Sad times yet again for the lang sufferin' Toon fans like 'little old me' and 50,000 others!😭

ATTENDANCE: 72,732 (Well below the 75,000 capacity, for the retorn of Ronaldo?) 3,500 Toon fans (sold oot away section!)

THE PRE AND POST MATCH GARGELS TOOK PLACE HERE IN MANCHESTER CITY

 CENTRE

AT £6.90 A PINT---THE MOST EXPENSIVE SO FAR THIS SEASON!

(PRE- SEASON ROTHERHAM IZ CHEAPEST AT £1.85!)

COME IN NUMBER 17 ---I THOUGHT IT WOZ £4.60 A PINT

IT WOZ IN FACT £4.60 FOR 2 THORDS OF A PINT=£6.90 A PINT!!!

"HELP!"

Wot Brucey said post match!

Geordie Times comment:

It's ridiculous to blame The 'Ronny Gill' for the fans  wantin' Brucey out!    He just cannit see the bigger picture!

We are heedin for the cliff edge with nee wins so far and the Toon fans have had enough!

12 goals shipped in 4 games!

It's the fault of wor absent owner for not spending any money on much needed players---and Brucey himself for hiz team selections and playin positions!

FULL STOP!

Updated Munday mornin'

 

MOAN U V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 10th September 2021

A THOOSAND REASONS NOT TO GAN!

NUFC will play wor 1,000th Premyaa Leegue game at 'The Theatre of Muppets' tomorrow and aa couldn't 'fink' of worse game for that milestone!

If ever there woz a game NOT to look forward to in the 1,000, then surely this iz it! (But we WILL be there in numbers, coz we cannit stop worsels from gannin!)

We cannit see anything else than 11 men behind the baall to try and stop 'yee naa who' and hiz fellow team mates runnin up a cricket 🏏score against us!

Ironically, Ingerland play India at Old Trafford cricket groond tomorrow in the fifth test--just alang the road from the futbaall groond!

Callum Wilson iz crocked (again!), but it surely wouldn't have made any difference to the predicted score line! (A very sad state of affairs!)

We divvint naa ANY Toon fans who give us a chance of gettin even a draw, so a norvis and torturous 90 minutes lies in wait! 

A Geordie Times match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Sunday! (Hopefully aa can get completely comatosed before the '3:00 bells' kick off! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺!) 

Az per usual watch this space in trepidation!🏏

AND FROM TWITTER!

ENJ🥶Y THE CHALLENGE!?????