"IF YOO CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!"

 Posted '11:00am bells' Wedinzday 11th October 2020

MASTERS MAKES A 'SPECTICLE' OF HIMSELF!

Premyaa Leegue's cheef executive Richard Masters woz in front of the Digital, Culture, Media and Sports Comittee yesterday, and looked to be a very nervous man indeed when pressed on PPV, The Big Picture and other matters!

PPV will be scrapped, he said, adding that he didnt have a clue wot would replace it!??

Both him and EFL cheef Rick Parry were asked aboot the secret meeting with the so caalled 'big six' and were asked if "It was a bit sneaky?" az the othaa 14 PL clubs wornt informed!

No! They said, it woznt!!!!

Unfortunately the NUFC takeower never came up in the conversation as he woz grilled for 4 hours!

Can yoo imagine wot he will be like in the impending enquiry aboot the PIF takeower, when the court case comes up and a top barrister grills him!?

Watch this space for forthaa details!

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!---'BAT OUT OF HELL' VACCINE BREAKTHROUGH?

 Posted '3:00pm bells' Munday 9th November 2020

Some hopeful news from the 'Beeb'!

They have foond a vaccine that gives 90% of people protection!

10 million doses have been ordered from Pviser BioNtech by Boris before Xmas!---and the companies say that: "It's a great day for science and humanity!"---And that they: "Plan to apply for emergency approval to use the vaccine by the end of  the month!"

Let's hope🤞and pray🙏that it works and that we can get back to watchin NUFC games LIVE and not on a pub telly or a laptop in the hoose!

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

 Posted 11:11am bells' Remembrance Sunday 2020

BORIS HOYS ANOTHAA SPANNER IN THE WORKS!

 Posted '9:00pm bells' Saturday 7th November 2020

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE---29th FEBRUARY 2020 

(VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND, ROW 'B', SEAT '97') 

ROW 'B' SEAT '97' SYNDROME!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are left kickin wor heels again, az aall futbaall below the Conference North and South haz been suspended! (And of course aall futbaall above iz behind closed doors!)

That meeenz that wor Saturday 'fix' at Dunston or a Northern Alliance fixture iz aborted for a month on the orders of Boris!

Oh for the day when we can gan back to St. James' Park and watch a live game again!---8 months since we last did so!---and many more before we can!

Its just not the same watchin on a pub telly in Rosies, while just ower the road the floodlights are blarin', especially for night games! 

(see photo below)

 

Last neet aa watched wor 'horror show' at Sooothampton on mee laptop (coz aall the pubs are closed az well!) and have even watched a game on mee mobile 'telling bone'!

Fake crowd noise and empty seats with banners ower them iz just not the same, az yoo can hear the noise of the players above the fake crowd, echo aroond the empty stadium!

Row 'B' seat '97' of The Milburn Stand balcony, I miss yoo SO much!

SOOOTHAMPTON V THE TOON *** LAPTOP REPORT LIVE!

 Posted from '7:22pm bells' onwards Friday 6th November 2020

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View of the laptop from mee setteee!

(Toon in aall yellow!)

8th minute

1-0 doon!  Adams shot

Almiron dribbles aroond hiz own box and loses possession and the home side make him pay for his misstayk!

20th minute

Toon 1st effort on target

 Sean Longstaff heeder!

Half time 1-0 with Longstaffs heeder the anly one that the Soothampton keeper had to save!

Picture froze once on laptop!

55th minute (commentator) Newcasil have faced 50 shots on target this season-- the most of any side!

(One heeder on target from us in this game so far!)

Murphy free kick 70th minute

Hit wall!

82nd minute

2-0 doon!

Armstrong

Sean Longstaff loses possession on the edge of the box to Armstrong, who fires home!

Soothampton gan top!

We slide doon!

86th minute

2nd heeder on target for us

from 'super'? sub Joelinton!!!

Full time 2-0

'Live' stream one minute behind 'live' telly!

Plus points: I havvint got to make a 6 hour train journey back from the south coast tomorrow and have saved £100 on train fares, £100 on 2 days drinkin (average £6 a pint doon there!) and £50 on a hotel!

The final word!

SOOOTHAMPTON v THE TOON *** TOOONEET!

 Posted '11:30am bells' Friday 6th November 2020

THE VERY LAST TIME WE SAW A LIVE TOON GAME 8 MONTHS AGO!

(Matt Ritchie takes a corner in front of the Toon fans)

Tooneeet at '8 bells' we travel to the south coast (or at least the team dee!) where we take on Sooothampton at St. Marys Stadium!

Because the boozers are shut for a month durin the latest lockdoon, I must watch it on mee laptop in wor hoose!

The last time we played Sooothampton away, we were there on March 7th last year, when we won 1-0---the very last time we saw a Toon team in live action!

It seemz such a lang time ago!

Below iz 'The Geordie Times' last ever 'live' report on that game!

Updated 7:10pm bells

Dave from York haz spotted my dillibritt misstayk   I sad we played Soothampton last YEAR when it woz last SEASON!

GEORDIE TIMES NEWSFLASH!

 Posted '10:37am bells' Friday 6th November 2020

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PAY PER VIEW MEETIN' TODAY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Guy Falkes Day 2020

The Premyaa Leegue members club meet today to
discuss the ridiculous £14.95 PPV fee for fans to watch matches!

A fee of £4.95 haz been mentioned, but even this iz 'not on' az many fans like me are payin' direct debits for games this season we wont see! (And many are payin for monthly Sky and BT subscriptions az well!)

Wor game v Chelski on November 21st iz a pay per view game and I for one wont pay it!---And with pubs shut til December due to the month lang lockdoon the anly way aa can watch iz on a stream (Hope aa divvint get too wet!)

Hopefully theeze games will be available for nee extra cost after the meetin'!

We will let yiz naa wot the outcome iz, when we find oot!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

PS: Last month The Geordie Times got ower 13,600 pageviews----the most that we have ever had!---We thank each and every one off yoo for loggin in to this 'advort free' site!

Updated Friday

Clubs voted that PPV shud be discontinued!

Further discussions will now take place to resolve the situation!

More to follow! 

Correction:   Wor game v Chelski iz NOT on PPV but is on BT instead!

Special thanx to Dylan for spotting my dillibritt misstayk!

PORCY MAIN AMATAAZ 3 CULLAACOATS 5 *** NORTHERN ALLIANCE (Played on Saturday)

 Posted '8:00pm bells' Munday 2nd November 2020

"WHO'S YI FATHER?--WHO'S YI FATHER?--WHO'S YI FATHER REFFF-ER-EEE!?"

For the 3rd time this season a Dunston game woz caalled off coz a player had caught 'the bat out of hell virus'!--This time it woz an Ossett United player who got the game caalled off!---This woz to be wor Saturday 'fix' this week!

A frantic sorch of the non leegue fixture list showed that Porcy Main were playin Cullaacoats and so a quick phone caall to 'Tex' Taylor' who lives nearby in Howden woz made and the decision to gan there instead, woz decided!

A Metro ride to North Sheeeldz woz made and we heeded for 'The Bar and Kitchen' boozer for a few 'gargels' before the kick off!

We naa the manager 'Mick' and had a bit 'chin wag' with him before jumpin back on the Metro to Porcy Main station 2 stops away, for the '2:30 bells' kick off! 

A can of cider woz on offer in the smaall clubhoose before the start and we then took up wor positions in between the 2 dugoots on the halfway line!

And then the action started---both on and off the pitch!

By coincidence we saw Porcy Main play at Blue Star the week before, where they lost 6-3 in a 9 goal thriller!

We were not to be disappointed in this game and the goal sequences were az follows (Again, coz there were nee teamsheets, aa looked up the scorers on both Porcy Main and Cullaacoats Twitter feeds)

12th minute: A Thomson shot for Cullaacoats gave them the lead at 'The Privit Hedge End'!  0-1 

33rd minute: An equaliser for Porcy Main through a mix up in defence allowed number 9 Collinson, to fire home at 'The Taall Trees End'! 1-1

There then followed a red card for an elbow by the Porcy captain, which brought fierce arguments between the 2 benches!

45th minute: Bang on half time the visitors retook the lead from a Hall volley! 1-2  

45th minute plus: Not to be outdone Porcy equalised through Collinson after anothaa mix up in the visitors defence! 2-2 HT

62nd minute: Yet again Cullaacoats retook the lead with a 20yard volley from Williamson! 2-3 

73rd minute: It woz soon 2-4 to the visitors az sub Coaley scored with hiz forst touch of the baall!

In between aall this, there woz 'a runnin battle' between the ref and the Cullaacoats coachin staff, with the ref tellin them repeatedly to "Get back beyond the touchline!" and "Shut it now!"

Which brought the response: "Yoo can tell he's a mackem!"

80th minute: A Symons cross 'sails' on the wind and ends up in the back of the Porcy Main net! 2-5 (ER!--aa missed this goal coz aa woz lookin at mee phone!)

88th minute: Porcy pull another goal back with a great free kick by Walker! 3-5

That woz the last goal of the game---and the entertainment on and off the pitch woz well worth the £1 admission fee!  

Attendance: 40ish plus 1 of the Queen's corgis and 2 freebees watch through some metal railings!

PS: I bought a huge hot dog with onions at half time, which cost just a quid!   NUFC charged £4:80 for a hot dog last season---withoot onions!

I NEVER REALISED THAT PORCY MAIN WERE THE CURRENT FA  CUP HOLDERS!?

THE TOON 2 THE TOFFEE NOSES 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted '11:43am bells' Munday 2nd November 2020

"DADS ARMY WINS THE DAY!"

CALLUM WILSON'S PENALTY 

An unexpected victory against high flyin Evaatin woz the outcome of this game, which wasnt very excitin to say the least!---apart from wor 2 goals!

Wor best chance in the forst half fell to Saint-Maximin who woz clean through in the 32nd minute, but shot straight at Olsen in the visitors goal at The Leazes End (Pickford had been dropped for some horrendous clangers recently!)

That woz wor anly shot on target in this half from eethaa team, az Evaatin thankfully had an 'off day'!

It woz still 0-0 at half time, but aall this changed in the 56th minute when Gomez foulded Callum Wilson in the Gallowgate End box for the ref to give us a penalty---After a lang VAR check it woz finally given and Wilson, himself took the kick, which he put doon the middle with Olsen divin' to the right!

PENALTY CELEBRATIONS!

The killer goal came in the 84th minute when (Private) Frazer sent a cross ower, which foond (Sargent) Wilson and he poked the baall ower the line to double wor advantage!---

"Temper!---Temper!^

The camera then switched to Jordan Pickford the mackem on the bench, (above) az he lashed oot in frustration! ("HA! HA!")

WILSON (NEAR POST) FIRES HOME!

6 minutes stoppage time woz added and in the 92nd minute 'The Toffee Noses' pulled one back through Calvert-Lewin to make it a nail bitin' last 4 minutes---but NUFC held on to claim the points!

It woz a happy bunch of fans in Rosies Bar az the final whistle went ower the road!

VIEW OF GALLOWGATE END THROUGH THE CHINEEZ ARCH FROM ROSIES!

The win meeenz that we have (somehow) got 11 points from the 7 games played, and are just THREE points behind Sporz in 2nd place!

Official attendance upstairs in Rosies: 20!

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