NEE PUBS REOPENIN' THIS MONTH!

Posted '11:35am bells' Wedinzday 10th Joon 2020

Still nee news on the takeower after 9 lang weeks of waitin (or is it 10?---lost track of time!)

Meeenwhile we hear that Boris has said that boozers will NOT reopen til July 4th because of social distancing worries!

Pity Boris wasnt worried aboot the thoosands of people close together on beaches and protest marches! 
But futbaall and boozers can't let punters in because of the rules?

Again one rule for beach parties and demonstrations and anothaa rule for drinkers and futbaall fans!

Wot a farce!

NUFC X1 1 NUFC X1 1 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE

Posted '11:08 am bells' Sunday 7th Joon 2020

     "Iz there anybody there?"

Yesterday afternooon at an  'unpacked' St. James' Park a Toon X1, dressed in wor 'black n white striped' home kit drew 1-1 with a Toon X1 dressed in wor 'Orangemen' away kit, in a behind closed doors game!

Wor £40 million man Joelinton scored the first goal  with a tap in on the goal line, playin for 'The Orangemen' at 'The Leazes End', while Bentaleb scored the equaliser playin for The 'Black n Whites' at 'The Gallowgate End', with a lang range effort!

With nee one there yoo could hear the players shouting to each other as their voices echoed aroond the empty seats!

We played this game to get used to playin in a  empty stadium, before we kick a baall in anger against Shefeeeld United in two weeks time, again at SJP!

Attendance: Not even one man and hiz dog!

IN THE YEAR 2525!

Posted '1:37am bells' Sunday 7th Joon 2020

505 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE!😴

Its takin' so lang to dee this takeower that aa can't even remember if its 8 or 9 weeks since it first appeared on Sky Sports news in March---or woz it April?😕

The way its gannin it will be approachin' the year 2525 when we  find oot if it actually WILL happen!?
Of course, we will aall be dead and buried in wor graves lang before then!

I can feel a song comin' on!

"AALTOGETHER NOW!"

🎵 In the year 25-25!
If man is still alive!
The Geordies will survive!

They may find!

In the year 35-10!
If the takeover happens!
It should happen by then!

But we'll be dead and buried in the ground!
St. James' will echo to the Geordie sound!
Oh!-Oh!-Oh!🎵
😴😴

"WE WANT WOR MONEY BACK!"

Posted '7:25pm bells' Friday 5th Joon 2020

"TIME TO DO 'A RUNNER' WITH THE SEASON TICKET MONEY!"

Despite not having a clue just when next season will start and just when fans can gan to games, NUFC continue to take direct debits from Toon fans!

Not anly that, but there iz nee word just when we will be refunded for the 5 home games we will miss because the rest of this seasons home games will be behind closed doors! (I've got FIVE season tickets---2 adults---3 grandkids)

If ever there woz a reason to get rid of 'The Fat Controller' once and for aall, then this one iz IT! and sums him up completely!

Hiz total contempt for us aall---IZ!-----contemptable!

PARANOID!

Posted '9:05pm bells' Tuesday 2nd Joon 2020

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that the reason given for wor away Leegue game at Man City bein moved to a neutral venue, iz because it iz deemed az a 'high risk' game?

The Premyaa Leegue and Greater Manchester 'Dibble' have said that they fear that there will be mass protests against The Saudis, when we divvint even naa that the takeower will be done and dusted by the time we play there!?

If that's the case, then neutral venues will have to be used for EVERY one of wor away game behind closed doors!

And anothaa thing, does this meen that every HOME game will have to be moved to a neutral venue as well?
AND! If they do do this, just how would they stop alleged protesters turning up at the NEUTRAL venues as well?

Heavy rock group 'Black Sabbath' have an iconic record caalled 'PARANOID'---Perfect listening for the Premyaa Leegue hieracy and the Manchester constabulary!

ITS OK FOR SUN WORSHIPERS***BUT NOT FUTBAALL FANS!"

Posted '7:55am bells' Munday 1st Joon 2020 at Ferrybridge A1

The government and 'Dibble' have warned futbaall fans not to gan anywhere near futbaall stadiums and adhere to social distancing measures or face arrest!

Meanwhile if yoo are a sun bather it iz perfectly aallreet to gather in large groups on beaches and paths, ignoring social distance measures, with nee fear of arrest!

Yet anothaa case of one rule for 'us' and anothaa rule for everybody else!

Now where have hord that before? Barnard Castle perhaps!

2 stories on 2 pages

In The Daily Express!

MCFC v NUFC CLASSED AZ A 'HIGH RISK' GAME!?

Posted '4:10pm bells' Saturday 30th May 2020

The Emptyhad***"No show!---

Even for the players!

Six 'high risk'? Premyaa Leegue games are to be played at neutral venues, (so we are told!) includin' TWO NUFC games!

We can understand 'a little bit' that wor last home game against 'The Liverbirds' iz one, because they could lift the Premyaa Leegue trophy at wor place and 'The Mickey Mousers' could be tempted to be at 'the place' where they were crowned champions! 
If it woz the othaa way roond and WE could win the title at Anfeeeld, I would be tempted to gan and be 'inside' the stadium 'in spirit'!

BUT, it doesn't matter where they play this game, az their fans would heed there anyway, be it Villa Park, Stamford Bridge or wherever!---Remember, from Liverpool, EVERY away groond iz within a 4 hour drive!---so it don't make sense?

And az wor away game at Man City iz aalso deemed 'high risk' it will aalso be played at a neutral venue!---but where????

'Fink' aboot it? why oh why would thoosands of Geordies travel to east Manchester just to stand ootside the groond and hope we consolidate THORTEENTH (13th) position in the Leegue table?

Would I be there to witness that, bearin in mind that aa havvint missed a competitive NUFC game this century?
Whey!--the answer iz!---a resoundin "NO WAY!", and thoosands of othaa Toon fans wouldn't bother gannin eethaa!
If there iz 'no way' that yoo would get in to see the game, then wots the point?

And az 'The Blue Moonies' have virtually nee chance of winnin' the Leegue, why would 'their fans' 'bust a gut' to stand ootside The Empty'iad---"sorry!"---The Ethiad???--Answer: they wouldn't eethaa!---so how the hell iz this game classed az 'high risk'??? 

Az for 'integrity' the whole thing is a farce with a mixture of home, away and neutral venues with empty seats and not a true fan in sight! ("ER!"---apart from cardboard cutoots and blow up sex dolls of course, occupyin' the stands!)

Remember! "Futbaall isn't futbaall withoot fans!"  

FA CUP & PREMYAA LEEGUE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS FIXTURE NEWS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 29th May 2020

St. James' Park

near the end on Joon!

---We have been told that wor FA Cup qwaataa final tie v The Blue Moonies of Manchester will take place on eethaa 27th or 28th of Joon!

I am seriously finkin aboot boycotting the game!
Meeeenwhile!---News that Premyaa Leegue fixtures are to resume more than 3 months since the last one woz played, have been reveeeled!

Wedinzday 17th Joon haz been pencilled in for the Premyaa Leegue season to resume BCD!
On that day The Blue Moonies of Manchester will play 'The Arse and Sheffeeeld United will play The Hazbeenz and Villans!

Aall 92 remainin games will be on live telly, but just wot a spectacle that will be with empty stadiums and canned crowd noise!

We have nee idea if NUFC will fill wor empty seats with cardboard cutoot fans like they have in Jawmany or with blow up sex dolls like they did in South Koreeaa!?



More to follow later!

NUFC v THE REST OF THE WORLD!

Posted '3:40pm bells' Thorsday 28th May 2020

It seems to us at The Geordie Times that the whole world iz against this takeower!--- Apart from us!

There have been 2 polls, both showing 97% and 98% approval ratings from NUFC fans!

The deal is still not done of course, with The Guardian sayin its doubtful and The Sun sayin it's a done deal!

This has been typical of the last 2 months of lockdoon, with negatives and then positives deein the roonds!

"Within days!" say some tabloids---"weeks away!" say others!

Just who DO we believe???

The anly ones who REELY NAA are The Premyaa Leegue themselves!

We await forever (it seems) for the outcome!

But hurry up pleeze az the celebratory cans are rusting away and the bottles of 'Dog' are gannin 'off', they've been in the fridge for SO lang!

"FROM THE OLD UK, TO THE USA *** THE GEORDIE TIMES, RULES OK!"

Posted '1:40am bells' Wedinzday 27th May 2020

EMPIRE STATE BUILDIN', NEW YORK *** A MESSAGE FROM AMERICA!

"GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!"

The Geordie Times haz reached two milestones in the last few days, when both the UK and the USA recorded 200,000 and 60,000 pageviews respectively!

It's ironic to say the least that we are gettin' more 'hits' durin the lockdoon, than we did when we reported on Toon games we had attended!

Shear boredom with nee matches or pubs to gan tee, undoubtedly had yoo scourin' the internet for anything written on The Toon or the takeower in the last 2 months!

The takeower haz had more twists and torns and ups and downs than a rollercoaster at a funfair and iz STILL ongoin' after SIX weeks of investigation into 'human rights' and 'piracy' in the fit and propaa porsons test!

Anothaa 'spanner' haz been hoyed into the works today, with the media reportin' that the takeower iz in jepody, due to new piracy claims by the World Trade Organisation!----when will it ever end and when oh when will The Premyaa Leegue give us a decision --- one way or the othaa!?

Anyway!---enough of that! (for now!)
Below iz a list of the top ten countries and territories that have visited The Geordie Times pages, which now number 428,000 in total from around the world and the planet Mars!---and we thank each and every one of yoo for visitin this 'advort free' website!

1: (The old) UK ***200,000
2: The USA *** 60,500
3: The Ukraine *** 24,500
4: The Israelites ***24,000
5: Jawmany *** 18,500
6: Rushaa *** 14,500
7: (Lost in) France *** 9,500
8: Hong Kong *** 7,500
9: (Mee old) Chinaa *** 6,000
10: The Guinness Republic: 6,000

And finally, a message from the planet Mars!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"

"WHEY AYE MAAN!"