GROUNDHOPPERS ARCHIVE *** DOCTOR PITT WELFARE GROOND, BEDLINGTON

Posted '2:44pm bells' Saturday 9th May 2020

Thiz archive groond report from just before Xmas 1996 iz in complete contrast to wor last archive report from The San Siro Stadium in glamourous Milan, for a Champions Leegue game!

This time its to the shabby Northumberland pit village of Bedlington, when NUFCs second string took on Bedlington Terriers in 'The Northumberland Senior Cup'!
(Match report below)  

PS: Today we shud have been at wor away game at Brightin!
Instead I'm sitting on mee front drive with mee 2 'dogs' (Newcasil Broon Ale and a dog caalled 'Brewdog'!  (Wot else!)

149 doctor pit welfare park bedlington terriers

(GROUND NUMBER 149)

Date of First Visit: 21st DECEMBER 1996

DOCTOR PITT WELFARE PARK, BEDLINGTON



BEDLINGTON TERRIERS 2

NEWCASTLE UNITED RESERVES 0



NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP

ATTENDANCE 1,500 (Estimated) (1,200 Toon fans)




"SEND FOR THE DOCTOR!"---"WE'VE GONE TO THE DOGS!!"

On wor arrival in the toon centre wih heeded straight for the 'Northumberland Arms' on the corner of the High Street for the forst 'Arthur Scargills'. Then!--- it was off tih the 'Barrington Arms' next door for some more of the 'golden liquid' before heedin' towards the groond which was just doon the road.

Az it torned oot we still had a canny bit time before kick off, az wih wrangly thought it was a 'seven bells' start, when in fact it was  'seven thorty bells'!---SO! (az yih dee!) wih heeded for the appropriatly named 'Bedlington Terrier' for the last gargels (a bottle of 'DOG'! would you believe?)(wot else!) before heedin' for the tornstiles!

BUT!---be warned!----it's a 'canny hike' from the 'Barrington' to the 'Bedlington' (Aboot twenty mins az the drunken magpie staggaz!)



The queues were a canny size az wih approached the tornstiles and wih made it with just seconds tih spare! (pleeze note---'The Undertaker' had 'opted oot' of gannin' for the 'last drinks' and he was in the groond hiz normal half hour before the start!)

Tih be honest----ah half expected 'Deputy Dawg' tih run oot in front of the Bedlington team az club mascot, with, 'Who let the dogs out!' blastin' from the loudspeakers, but!--- aall we got was a couple of 'little sprogs' leadin' them oot ontih the pitch dressed in the red of the 'Terriers'!

Tih enter intih the 'christmas spirit', many of their fans sported the 'obligitory' 'santa hats' az yid expect at this time of the year. (It was anly fower days tih gan before the 'White Bearded Gadgie' and his sidekick, 'Red Nose Rudolph' would pay us their annual visit!) (WHICH! reminds me santa!---NOT! another pair of f***** socks!------PLEEZE!)



"THE ANORAKS!"

Anyway!---the groond was NOT! what ah expected for a club of Bedlington's  stature and it was more like a glorified dog kennel than a futbaall groond! (sic!) (aye!--it gets worse does'nt it?) although this was'nt mee forst ever visit tih 'Doctor Pitts'!. This had happened the year before when me and 'Glen from Ashington' decided tih tek in one of the groonds on the 'Northern League groundhop' at Easter, where groundhoppers get the chance tih see THREE! games a day over the lang weekend, with staggered kick off times.


WE went oot of curiousity AND because the Toon had a free Saturday and wornt playin'---AND (of course!) for a few 'Arthur Scargills' az well!

Once they've visited a new groond some of the groundhoppers (or 'anoraks' az many like to be known) refuse tih gan back to that groond and tick it off their list, never tih darken it's tornstiles again! 


One had a clipboard and everytime the baall went oot for a throw in, corner, or goal kick, he would tick it off! (if THIS is'nt sad----then WHAT F***** IZ!?). Another said he would'nt include the groond unless he touched the match baall!, and another likewise, unless he did a full circle of the pitch!

There was even a guy from Holland who had made the pilgrimage---complete with a pair of CLOGS!


Bedlington were playin' RTM Newcastle that day (nuw 'Newcastle Blue Star') and won two-nowt in front of 555 enthusiastic groundhoppers/anoraks.


After the match, which had kicked off at twelve bells wih decided tih gan tih the Toon for the afternoon session. The anoraks had a double decker bus tih tek them tih Washington which was their next port of caall, so wih cadged a lift off them az they were passin' Newcastle on the way.



HOWEVER!----the bus heeded straight doon the 'A19' and went through---- 'THE TYNE TUNNEL'!--- and we could'nt get off!---and made straight for Washington!

(SO!---az yih dee!) wih ended up watchin' THAT f***** match in aall!---and tih this day, this iz the ANLY time a'v been to a match, which ah neva intended gannin tee!


ENOUGH OF THAT!----lets get back tih WOR game at the 'Doctors surgery'!

The pitch waz just a sea of mud and waz SO! bumpy it looked more like a motor bike scramblin' track than a futbaall pitch!----indeed, everythin' aboot the groond waz disjointed and the goal at the 'Clubhoose End' waz aboot a foot lower at one end than the otha!, such waz the slope of the pitch at this end!   (a'm mekin' theeze 'excuses' up NOW, az the Toon's resorves torned in a c*** performance!)

Even the telegraph poles and a lamp post with nettin' attached tih stop the baall endin' up in some wifey's front garden, were at an 'angle' and two were SO crooked, it looked az though they might faall onto the pitch! ("TIMM-BERRR!")

Like ah say!---The Toon did'nt have a 'good day at the office' and Bedlington were much the stranger team and they ran oot 2-0 winners tih progress tih the next roond.

The tiny bus shelter stand that we were under (so 'tiny' that yih had tih 'dook' tih avoid hittin' yih heed on the roof supports!) waz mekin' 'strange noises' from the roof above.


Ah knocked on it oot of curiosity and amazingly ah got a 'knock back'!?---Two minutes later a youngins heed appeared upside doon starin' arriz from the above roof! (SO THAT'S! what the noise waz!)


Anotha 'upside doon heed' then appeared and this cheeky sprog tried tih swipe 'Alan 'The Mad Professor's  Toon hat, who waz just below him!-----however!--he did a neat 'body swerve' and the would be thief waz left 'hatless' az 'The Mad Professor' banged on the roof tih chase him away!---and yih could here hiz 'plates of meat' bangin, az he scarpered alang the 'now dinted' tin roof!


A 'classic end' to a 'not so'  'classic match'!

WHEY MAAN!---IT'S NOT FRIDAY!

Posted '9:25pm bells' VE Day Friday 8th May 2020

VE DAY 1945

The Geordie Times told yoo on Tuesday that the impendin' takeower of NUFC woz due to be completed today!----However!--- it's now past '9 bells' at neet with nee news forthcomin'!

One reason iz the fact that today iz a public holiday in the UK because of the 75th VE Day celebrations for the end of World War 2 in 1945!

The new date for the takeower iz sometime next week, (alledgedly!) in this very lang drawn oot affair, to finally get rid of wor hated owner known az 'The Fat Controller', after 13 lang years of broken promises and mediocrity! 

We said on Tuesday that if the takeower didnt take place today after wor prediction that it would, that yoo could pelt us with rotton eggs and fruit!

We await with trepidation for a full scale attack from irate Geordie Times reeeders!---but be aware---we are prepared for the worst!

SAUDI TAKEOWER LATEST!----

Posted '2:55pm bells' Thorsday 7th May 2020

Updated throughout the day---and neet!

Encouragin' news from The Saudi Royal Family website!

KEEP THE FAITH! *** NUFC!

Updated '5:00pm bells' 
Just foond oot--this iz not the 
Official Saudi Royal family website
Might be a hoax?

Updated '7:15pm bells'
The website iz APPROVED by the Saudi Royal Family,
so it IZ genuine!

More encouragin' news
Updated 9:11pm bells'

"BROTHERLY LOVE!"

The bottom line sez it all!

"GORDON IZ A MORON!"

Posted '2:00pm bells' Wedinzday 6th May 2020

"TAYLS OF WOE!"

There have been some ridiculous suggestions on how to restart the Premyaa Leegue, like playin games on neutral groonds to stop fans congregating ootside their home grounds, shud the matches be played there!

Put it this way, say 'The Liverbirds' can win the leegue at neutral Villa Park in Bormingham.

Do the the people in charge reeely 'fink' that Scousers wont make the relatively short 90 odd mile journey to the west Midlands to celebrate? (Teams, it's said, will travel 'near' equal distances from their home bases for games, so the likes of Liverpoool and NUFC will play games nee forthaa south than the Midlands!---allegedly!)

Villa Park (one of the neutral groonds mentioned), iz surrounded by residential streets, which wud be impossible for 'The Dibble' to police!

Dinosaur PFA chairman Gordon 'is a Moron' Taylor haz made the ridiculous suggestion that games cud be shortened to less than 45 minutes each half and that extra subs cud be on the bench to replace 'tired legs'?

The integrity of The Premyaa Leegue wud be smashed to pieces if this happened!
And of course, denying teams like Brightin home advantage against the 'big guns' wud be grossly unfair! (This includes NUFC who are still to play them away!)


Why not gan 'the whole hog' and play 2 completly different teams in each half, like often happens in pre season friendlies!???

It's crazy!  But so is Gordon 'the Moron' Taylor for even thinkin aboot shortening a game, which has been played ower 90 minutes for the last 140 years at least! 

'5 a side' games are anothaa option, to fit the 92 matches to be played, into a short period of time! (It's a wonder that the PFA chairman hazzent had 'a brain-wave' and thought of this az well!?)

Its said by Nick Parry the chairman of the EFL, that crowd problems at home venues in the lower leegues wont be a problem and clubs in those leegues CAN play behind closed doors at home groonds!

Reeely? Suppose Leeedz can win 'The Championship' at Elland Road---how wud yoo stop fans gatherin' ootside their groond---and more importantly--wud The West Yorkshire 'Dibble' allow this?---I 'fink' not!

The best way forward iz to WAIT til 'the bat out of hell' pandemic iz under control and play the rest of this season up til Xmas if nessesary!    

Next season shud be played entirely in 2021 (with a break for 'The Euros' in the summer) and the followin season entirely in 2022 with The World Cup at the end of that year!

Boris iz to make a speech next Sunday aboot liftin restrictions, but will futbaall be one of them?

Az per usual---"Watch this space for forthaa developments!"

"MAAN!---IT COULD BE FRIDAY!"

Posted '2:05pm bells' Tuesday 5th May 2020

"I'VE GOT THE BAALL,
GAME ON!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' from wor club insider, 'Secret Pigeon' that there could be an annooncement on Friday about the lang drawn oot takeower!
'Secret Pigeon' says that the deal is nearly done, but don't blame him if it doesnt happen on Friday!

"COO!---IT'S GANNIH HAPPEN
MAAN!--FRIDAY!---COOOO!"

We shall soon find oot in 3 days time!

If it's TRUE then yoo can thank us with CRATES of 'DOG', packs of cider and bottles of Scotch whisky and Rushin vodka!

If it's NOT true, then yoo can pelt us with rotten eggs and fruit, the next time yoo see us!

GROUNDHOPPERS ARCHIVE *** INTER MILAN @ THE SAN SIRO STADIUM 2003 ***

Posted '2:00pm bells' Sunday 3rd May 2020

With nee NUFC games, pubs or work to gan tee because of the lockdoon, av had plenty of time on mee hands to update mee away games stories!

In complete contrast to the resorve friendly @ The Victoria Pleasure Grounds in Goole in 1994, (ground number 120) which woz mee last archive groond report--the next one av done iz just a little bit more glamorous than that!--- when we went to Italy in 2003 for a Champions Leegue game v Inter Milan at the iconic San Siro Stadium! (Match report on that game, below)

The next time we played sund'lind after this, the Toon fans had a field day: "Have yoo ever seen a mackem in Milan!", we sang, which haz become wor mockin war cry! 

THE TOON V SPORZ *** TO BE PLAYED IN AN EMPTY NEUTRAL GROOND!

Posted '2:47pm bells' Saturday 2nd May 2020

THE NUFC 'DRASTIC PLASTIC' X1 !

This afternooon in less than qwaataa of an hours time, we were supposed to be playin' Sporz at SJP in front of a noisy 52,300 crowd, but instead I am sittin' in wor hooses watching the news on the telly in front of wor lass and hor noisy vacuum cleaner!

News that wor game v Sporz will now be played at a neutral venue in front of nee paying spectators haz been conformed!
Life sizecardboard cut oot fans and canned stadium crowd noise are likely to be added to make this a farcical situation of the highest order!

"THIS GAME IZ CRAP!---WE'RE BOARD STIFF!"

Why dont they gan 'the whole hog' and have giant plastic Subbuteo  players on the pitch az well? 

The whole idea is crazy if yoo ask me and there is NEE WAY that I will pay to watch a 'live stream' in mee living room, which wont be live anyway, az there will be a 10 second delay in case a player swears, so they can delete it before we hear can hear it!

Why dont they just 'caall it a day' for now and play the games when it's safe for everybody to attend?---in 6 months time, or whenever???---and worry aboot next season, then???

Futbaall on the telly withoot fans is a non starter!--for the likes of me, anyway!

THE SILENCE IZ DEAFENIN'!

Posted '7:00pm bells' Friday 1st May 2020

THE HIGH LEVEL BRIDGE FROM THE QUAYSIDE BAR

Well!---it's now 'seven bells' in the evenin' and there iz STILL nee news of the takeower, despite rumours that today woz the day that aal would be reveeeeled!

Of course we half expected it---az NOTHIN' iz plain sailin when it comes to NUFC---more like battlin' through a force 10 storm in the North Sea!

We cannit even gan to a match or a pub to talk aboot it, because of the lockdoon, so the internet and the telly are on constantly in wor hoose!

To keep me sane, av been gannin for lang walks alang the banks of the Tyne, takin pictures of  the Magnificent 7 bridges that span the sacred river---and of course stoppin' off at various locations for a much needed rest and a bottle of 'DOG' with mee faithful dog caalled 'Brewdog' (wot else!) 

I will be publishin' some of mee photos on a new page entitled 'The MAGnificent 7 Bridges' on a new page in the next few days!
Meeenwhile here are some aa took this afternoon! 

THE KING EDWARD RAILWAY BRIDGE

(REDHEUGH BRIDGE IN BACKGROOND)

THE QUEEN ELIZEBETH 11 METRO BRIDGE

(THE BLUE BRIDGE)

THE HIGH LEVEL BRIDGE WALKWAY

THE REDHEUGH BRIDGE

THE HIGH LEVEL BRIDGE

WITH VIEWS OF THE 'NEW'CASTLE, CATHEDRAL AND ST JAMES PARK

THE HIGH LEVEL BRIDGE ROADWAY

"MAY DAY!---MAY DAY!"

Posted 'midneet bells' Friday 1st May 2020

                                           "AMANDA IN! *** FAT CONTROLLER OUT!"

The NUFC takeower iz allegedly, finally, hopefully, gannih happen sometime today!

 

 

The deal brokered by Amanda Staveley to finally rid us of 'The Fat Controller' iz slowly---oh! so slowly!---reachin' 'the end game'!

We honestly have nee idea if this will happen today, but Toon fans have been waitin 13 lang sufferin' years aalready, with deathly silence from both parties!
 This haz seen us lookin on the internet, on Facebook, on Twitter, on WhatsApp, on, on line tabloids, on the telly etc. scrawlin' for any scrap of info, in the hope that the deal finally gans through and that we can get wor great club back at last!

If mee WhatsApp page gans mental when get up later, then aa naa that a decision has been finally reached!
Hopefully in the reet direction!🙏

We will soon find oot later today (or NOT az the case MAY be!?)