THE TOON v THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '4:16pm bells' Tuesday 26th February 2019

HAPPY FANS LEAVE SJP AFTER WOR 2-0 WIN ON SATURDAY

LETS HOPE WE ARE HAPPY AGAIN TOONEET!

Tooneet we play anothaa 'six pointer' against anothaa of wor relegation rivals, but this game v Bornley will be much harder than against 10 men 'uddersfeeeld last Saturday for certain!

We feel that Bornley will try to kick lumps oot of wor players and we have to hope that we have a strong ref to stop this!
Craig Pawson will referee the game and he haz shown 105 yellow cards and 4 red cards this season, includin' one against Issac Hayden at Cardiff in wor forst away game---He aalso refereed wor 1-0 home win ower Wotfaad orlier this season!


NUFC are gannin for wor 4th home win 'in a row' while wor visitors are unbeaten in their last 8 Premyaa Leegue games, so something must 'give' in this evenins game, which iz live on SKY ('8 bells' kick off)

If we play like we did on Saturday we have a great chance, but ne doubt Bornley will not surrender like 'uddersfield did!

Not sure wot the crowd will be or how many tickets 'The Hillbillies' have sold, but there iz sure to be around 50,000 present!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow az per usual!

338 nethermoor park, guiseley (v leeds u23s)

Ground number 338
Date of First Visit:25th February 2019
Nethermoor Park, Guiseley

Leeds United U23s 3
Newcastle United U23s 1 (Jamie Sterry)

Premier League Cup group 'H'
Attendance: 1,012 (several NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!)

"BLINDED BY THE WHITE!"
                                           SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

THE GAME IZ ABOOT TO KICK OFF

WITH LEEEDZ IN THEIR AALL WHITE STRIP

AFTER A LANG DELAY THEY CHANGED

INTO BRIGHT YELLOW SHIRTS?

4 of us travelled doon in Biffa the Beer's jam jar and arrived in Guiseley at '5:30 bells' and parked up at the car park at Nethermoor Park, the home of non leegue Guiseley AFC.---which woz aalso the 'home' of Leeedz U23 side!

It woz then onward to a drinkin den alang the road caalled 'The White Cross' where pints of Mad Goose ale were consumed!😨

It woz soon time to heed back to the groond and after a quick liquid refreshment (Tetley mild) in the clubhoose, we heeded for the terraces in time for the '7 bells' kick off!-----WRANG!

THE GUISELEY CLUBHOOSE

We could see that there woz a discussion on the pitch between the referee and the Leeedz goalie, which went on for ages?

Kick off time passed and then bizzarly Leeedz aall white strip woz deemed to clash with wor aall light blue away strip and they were forced to change their tops for bright yellow ones with no numbers on the backs!----farcical!

THIS PIC TAKEN BY 'DAVE FROM YORK'--- CHEERS DAVE!

We couldnt see just how the strips clashed?----woz their goalie colour blind?----or indeed the ref, because of the bright floodlights?

Anyway!  The game eventually kicked off 12 minutes late az we attacked the left hand goal!

It woz 'see-saw' at forst with both sides havin chances!
The breakthrough came from 'The Yellow Vests' who took the lead in the 25th minute with a fine strike, much to the delight of the large home support! (With no numbers on their shirts, we havent got a clue who scored?)
Their 'delight' woz short lived however az The Toon hit back straight away when Jamie Sterry hit a shot which woz deflected into the net by one of their 'numberless' defenders!
It woz 1-1 at half time!

The 2nd half woz unfortunately a 'no show' from NUFC az Leeedz dominated this half!
2 goals in quick succession then followed from the home side az we were sunk withoot trace by 'The Yellow Vests'!


The result meant that Leeedz won group 'H', but we still qualified for the knockoot stages in 2nd place!

THE TEAM SHEET

The draw date for the last 16 in the knockout stages iz not known yet. But there are a few teams still left in who play on groonds we have never been te----az per usual "Watch this space!" and we will let yiz naa, az soon az we find oot!

PS: Wor 'hunch' woz reet!---We did eventually find oot the reason for the Leeedz strip change. On Leeedz Twitter feed they said: "Slight delay here as Leeds have to change shirts due to one of the players being colour blind"----(We'll give you 3 guesses who we 'fink' it woz?)

PPS: SOME OF THE PHOTOS THAT AH TOOK MAKE IT LOOK AZ 
THOUGH THAT LEEEDZ ARE STILL WEARIN' WHITE SHIRTS!

PERHAPS MEE CAMERA PHONE IZ COLOUR BLIND AZ WELL!!!?😎

UNBELEEEVIBLEEE THEY ARE COLOUR BLIND AT 

THE YORKSHIRE POST AZ WELL! 

LEEEDZ U23s v THE TOON U23s **** TOONEET!

Posted '11:26am bells' Munday 25th January 2019
(The score will be updated at half time and full time!)

NETHERMOOR PARK, GUISELEY AFC

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are on the road again today, with 'Guiseley' near Leeedz wor destination!
This iz where Leeedz U23s play their home games and az its a groond we have never been te before, we will be oot in force at '7 bells' tooneet! (aboot 7 of us!)😮

Wor U23s are top of the table in this Premyaa Leegue Cup group 'H' tie and will qualify for the knockoot stage, even if we lose (the top 2 oot of 4 qualify)
Leeedz will qualify IF they win, but Sooothampton will take their place in the knockout stages IF they don't! (Sooothampton have a better 'goal difference' to Leeedz and so a draw isn't good enough for them)

Premyaa Leegue group 'H' (just one more game to play tooneet)
NUFC U23s,             played 5, points 11
Sooothampton U23s, played 6, points10
Leeedz U23s,             played 5, points 9
Notts Cooonty U23s, played 6, points 1

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---meeenwhile, we will post the half time score and full time score az soon az it happens!
SO!---watch this space at '7:45 bells' (HT) and '8:45 bells' (FT)tooneet, to find oot the score!

Team sheet

HT score:1  1
FT score:Lost 3  1😤😥😧

THE TOON 2 'UDDERSFEEELD 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:35am bells' Sunday 24th February 2019

ACTION AT THE LEAZES END (2nd half)

"3 IN A ROW!"

This woz a game we simpleee had to win az a nervous crowd torned up at St. James' Park!

Almiron gets a warm Geordie welcome!

We indeed started off a 'bit norvy', but new boy Miguel Almiron nearly scored when he woz put clean through in the thorteenth minute. He set off like 'a whippet', but hiz chip ower their keeper hit the post and boonced oot to Rondon who whammed hiz shot against the same post! (a double 'whammy' indeed!)

The tornin' point of the game, however, came after just 20 minutes on the clock when a horrible  'leg break' tackle on wor new record signing Almiron saw Tom Smith rightly sent off!

Luckily he wasn't badly injured and to wor relief he woz up in a couple of minutes to terrorise the 'Terriers' defence once again!

(1st half)  MATT RICHIE PREPARES TO TAKE A FREE KICK 

AT THE GALLOWGATE END 

Rondon then sent a divin' heeder wide after a great cross from Longstaff, when it looked easier to score az the crowd groaned in frustration!

Somehow the scoreline woz 0-0 at the interval, but the vital breaktrough came just after the restart when Rondon fired home from inside the box at The Leazes End, much to the relief of the 50,000 Toon fans present!
It woz soon 2-0 and 'game ower' when Perez rifled hiz shot into the corner of the net just 5 mins later!

Sub Kenedy then hit a raspin shot against the bar az did Shaun Longstaff to make it 4 woodwork 'strikes' in total!

Loads of missed chances then followed and the anly puzzle woz that the final scoreline woz anly 2-0 instead of 7-0
Almiron 'The Little Whippet' got a standin' ovation in the 81st minute when he woz substituted by Atsu!

9 points from the last 3 home games propelled us up to 15th place, 4 points above the drop zone after mixed results from wor relegation rivals! (10 points from the last 15 in total)

'uddersfield look dead and buried with just 11 points and Fulim aalso looked doomed with 17 points---NINE (er!) ELEVEN! behind us!
The race iz on to avoid the thord relegation place involving half a dozen teams---including NUFC of course!

Bornley are next up on Tuesday neet at 'HQ'---anotha six pointer against anothaa of the relegation contenders!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Lejeune, Ritchie (Kenedy 69), Perez, Hayden, Longstaff, Almiron (Atsu 81), Rondon (Joselu 84)

Attendance: 52,174 (2,000 from 'uddersfeeeld, who just know that they are gannin doon!)

*

POST MATCH CROWD STREAMS DOON BARRACK ROAD

HAPPY TOON FANS PASS UNDER THE CHINESE ARCH 

(GALLOWGATE END IN BACKGROOND)

A STEEL BAND PLAYS IN FRONT OF THE JOE HARVEY PLAQUE

'SMOKIN JOE', WHO WON THE FA CUP AZ A PLAYER AND 

THE INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP AZ A MANAGER 

DIED 30 YEARS AGO TODAY

"RIP JOE!"

TELLY TIMES FOR APRIL!****YET MORE WEEKDAY MISERY!

Posted '3:13pm bells' Friday 22nd February 2019

The SKY and BT telly fixtures for April have just been published!We aaready knew that we were away to 'The Arse' on April Fools Day and here are the rest of the fixtures for NUFC for the rest of that month!
REMEMBER!---yoo read this forst in The Geordie Times!---
and NEE WHERE ELSE!

The anly game in April not to be changed iz Paliss at home--BUT if they progress to the semi-finals of the FA Cup it WILL be moved to a weekday slot!
Arsenal away on a Munday and Lestaa away on a Friday meenz more time off work of course and Brigtin away at '5:30 bells' meenz that there iz 'ne chance' of gettin' back on the same day eethaa! 

Mun 1st: 'The Arse' away---live on SKY at '8 bells'

Sat 6th: Cristil Paaliss at SJP '3 bells'---(Will be changed if Palace make semi finals of FA Cup)

Fri 12th: 'The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa away at '8 bells'---live on SKY

Sat 20th: Sooothampton at SJP at '5:30 bells'---live on BT (woz a '3 bells' ko)

Sat 27th: "Nee where near" Brightin away at '5:30 bells'---live on BT (woz a '3 bells' ko)

THE TOON v 'UDDERSFEEELD *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '1:59pm bells' Friday 22nd February 2019

ST. JAMES' PARK FROM STANHOPE STREET

Tomorrow afternoon @ '3 bells' we play anothaa vital game that we 'must win' against bottom side 'uddersfeeeld at SJP.
And then just 3 days later we've got 'The Bornley Hillbillies' at home and wor future whereaboots (Premyaa Leegue or Championship!) we feel, could well be decided in those 2 games!

Win both and we will be well clear of the relegation zone, anything else will be an unmitigated disaster!   Even a win and a draw will keep us in 'the mire', with othaa clubs like Cardiff putting runs together in the desperate bid to avoid the dreaded drop!

New boys Miguel Almiron and Antonio Barreca are expected to make their home debuts and hopefully they will both 'hit the groond runnin'!
Wor visitors tomorrow are in dreadful form havin taken just one solitary point from their last 13 games!----lets hope its still 'one' at '5 bells' tomorrow afternooon!

NETHERMOOR---GUISELEY AFC

Sandwiched in between those 2 games iz a U23s away game at Guiseley AFC v Leeedz U23s on Munday neet at '7 bells'---a groond 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoopers' have nevaa been te!

Meenwhile 3 of wor relegation rivals are in action before us.
Both Cardiff (at home to Wotfaad) and Fulim ( away to West Ham) are in action tooneet and Bornley are playin in the dinnaatime kick off tomorrow at home to Sporz!

Lets hope they aall LOSE!----PLEEEZE!

Updated '10:15pm bells' in Eccles on truck run
Full time: Cardiff 1   Wotfaad 5
West Ham 3   Fulim 1
"So far so good!"

Full 'Geordie Times' match reports will appear here for aall 3 games in due course!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

PS: The live telly games for April are due to be announced today!
We will of course let yiz naa of any changes to wor fixtures asap---and PLEEEZE, ne more Munday neet away games!

"NO FLIES ON ME!"

Posted '4:50pm bells' Thorsday 21st February 2019

"IT'S THERE IN BLACK 'N' WHITE!"

BBC news reports that racehorses are to be dressed in black 'n' white zebra striped horse blankets to keep the flies off!

Apparently they have discovered that zebras don't get biten by flies, az the flies don't like their black 'n' white stripes for some unbeknown reason---and keep well away!

So there we have it!---wear your Toon top with pride and keep the flies away at the same time!

AALTOGETHER NOW!
"TOON!--TOON!--BLACK 'N' WHITE HORSES!"

THOSE POOR MANCUNIANS!---BUT WOT ABOOT 'US'?

Posted '2:15pm bells' Thorsday 21st February 2019

News that both Man U and Man City fans wont be able to get home after their FA Cup ties were changed for live telly reaches us via The Daily Mail newspaper today!

Ne mention whatsoever though aboot Toon fans unable to get back from Chelsea, Wolves, West Ham or Arsenal, in this year alone, because of ridiculous live telly dates and times!
Or the fact that we had get oot of bed at '3;30am bells' to travel to London on the '5am bells' train, for wor '12:30 bells' kick of at Wembley v Sporz!

Obviously it iz 'OK' for 'us' to be inconvenienced <(we naa how to sppell aall the big words!) but not for those poor Mancunians who are in the qwaataa finals of the FA Cup! <(something we can anly dream aboot theeeze days!)

SJP VOTED BEST ATMOSPHERE IN PREM!

Posted '3:34pm bells' Wedinzday 20th February 2019

In a 'BET365' poll on Twitter, St. James' Park woz voted the best for atmosphere in The Premyaa Leegue this season!

The top 20 list iz printed below!

Anfield haz been voted 2nd , while Selhurst Park get 'the bronze medal'

Bizarrely, (and not suprizingly!) Sporz new stadium haz been voted the least atmospheric, due to the fact that they have NEVER! played in the 62,000 empty seat stadium!

THE LIST! (From gold medal position to wooden spoon!)

1 St. James' Park
2 Anfield 
3 Selhurst Park
4 Amex Stadium
5 Stamford Bridge
6 St. Mary's Stadium
7 Molineux
8 John Smith Stadium
9 Craven Cottage
10 King Power Stadium
11 Goodison Park
12 Vicarage Road
13 Turf Moor
14 Vitality Stadium
15 Etihad Stadium
16 Old Trafford
17 Cardiff City Stadium
18 Emirates Stadium
19 London Stadium
20 Tottenham Hotspur Stadium ⏬

"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE?"

IT WOZ 50 YEARS AGO!

Posted '3:07pm bells' Munday 18th February 2019

50 years ago last Friday aa travelled the forthest distance possible for an 'old' forst division game, when aa heeded to Sooothampton for a leegue game at 'The Dell' ---and a roond trip of 700 miles by supporters club bus!

THE DELL --AZ IT LOOKED IN 1969

THE DELL---2019

A match report on that archive game iz printed below
(ground number 008) alang with a match report from a game at 'The Dell' 35 years ago in 1984