CHECK IT OOT!

Posted '1:16pm bells' Thorsday 15th November 2018
Updated Friday

The draw for the next roond of The Checkatrade Trophy takes place on Friday @ '1:00pm bells'
NUFC U21s won wor group and are to be rewarded with a home tie against one of the followin':
Stoke U21s, Man City U21s, Bury's 1st team, Macclesfield's 1st team, Waalsaal's 1st team, Oldim's 1st team or Lincoln's 1st team

The tie to be played sometime in December with Wembley 'the carrot on the stick' for the final!

We have ne idea wethaa the game will take place @ St. James' Park or Blue Flames Sports groond in Benton! (aka Whitley Park)

Az soon az we find oot we will let yi naa!

Updated '1:17pm bells' Friday

Its MACCLESFIELD TOON! 
Tie to be played commencin' December 3rd

MAD-SAD GR😨UNDH😨PPER MAYHEM!😨!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th November 2018

"COMPLETE COCKERELS COCK UP!"

It haz been reported that there iz a very reeel chance that wor game v Sporz in their new stadium in February might NOT take place az it iz still not ready, despite claims that it would definatly be open by Xmas!
Contractors are apparently tornin up on site, drunk and on drugs and some have nowt to de az deliveries have not arrived!
The loonatics are runnin the asylum in this case!


The whole situation iz a complete farce and Sporz fans are not 'happy bunnies' because of this---and neethaa are WE, 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', who were lookin forward to a visit to a new groond---and who now face the prospect of a visit to Wembley yet again, with many of us lookin for wor forst competitive win there in 8 attempts (3 FA Cup final losses, 1 Leegue Cup final loss, 1 FA Cup semi-final loss, 1 Charity Shield loss) and 1 Premyaa Leegue loss!) (v Sporz last season)

Yoo would have to be at least 70 years old to remember and witness wor last win there, in the 1955 FA Cup final! (63 years ago and coontin'!)

There iz still a smaall chance that we WILL play at the new stadium this season----but 'divvint coont yi chickens yet'! 

PS: Az the pitch and stands are in a different place to the old ones, we class it az a new groond!

Wembley's pitch and stands are in the same place az they were before it woz rebuilt, so it izn't a new groond!
('NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' rule 37 B!)

OLD AND NEW WEMBLEY SUPER IMPOSED
(Yoo can fit the old one inside the new one!)

GRIMSBEEE v THE TOON U21s *** TOONEET

Posted '2:25pm bells' Tuesday 113th November 2018
Updated 10:00pm bells in Eccles on a night truck run!

Tooneet NUFCs resorve side travel to Grimsbeee for a Checkatrade Trophy match---Just one point iz needed to qualify for the last 32 and a possible meetin' with the SMBs senior team! (Can yoo imagine that---wor resorves v the mackems forst team!!!!

Anyway!--the game kicks off at '7:45 bells' and if yoo are gannin the away end iz open, priced £5 for big kids and £1 for little kids and sprogs get in FREE!

'The Geordie Times' forst visited Grimsbeee  36 years ago in 1982, where we drew 2-2 in the old 2nd Division---and we have been there a couple of times since---az this iz a resorve game on a groond we have been te before, we wont be gannin---BUT a few of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are and we will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot!

PS: Their groond iz actually in Cleethorpes, so divvint heed for Grimsbeee or yoo will miss the game!!!😮

Updated 10:00pm bells
FT Grimsbeee 2 The Toon U21s 3

The Toon won this 5 goal thriller after comin from behind to progress to the last 32 of the competition with a Wembley final the carrot on the end of the stick.

Goals from Callum Roberts (shot) Elias Sorensen (heeder) and Matty Longstaff (free kick) sealed the win in front of 547 includin 66 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

NUFC win the group and will have a home tie in the next roond because of this---The draw iz on Friday!

THE TOON 2 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:20am bells' Remembrance Sunday 11th November 2018---Updated '11:21am bells' Munday

A DISPLAY OF POPPIES @ THE GALLOWGATE END!

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

Exactly 100 years ago today the 1st World War ended--and yesterday, az you'd expect, there woz a minutes silence at St James' Park and aall futbaall groonds around the country!

The game woz won by 2 goals in the forst half from Soloman Rondon, the 2nd a spectacular 'bullet' heeder at The Leazes End which Wyn Davies and Alan Shearer would have been proud of!

Bournemoooth pulled one back just before the break and it woz nailbitin stuff in the 2nd period az they tried to get the equaliser!
They DID'NT and for the 2nd game in a row we took the 3 points to move us up to the dizzy heights of 14th in the table, but still just one point above the drop zone!

Sorry that this iz just a brief report for now, but I have got to pay my respects at '11:00am bells' to 'The glorious dead' at my local war memorial!

Updated 'high noon bells' Munday

Spot the 1,300 Bournemoooth fans huddled 

in the corner of the top deck of The Leazes End

How the goals were scored:
7th minute: Yedlin sends a cross in from the right at the Leazes End and Rondon's subsequent shot iz saved by Begovic in the visitors goal---but the baall rebounds to wor number 9 and he fires the baall into the net to score hiz forst Premyaa Leegue goal for The Toon!

39th minute: After a 10 minute delay due to an twisted knee injury to Bournemoooth's Adam Smith, Kenedy sends in a pin point cross and Rondon's bullet-heeder gives their keeper ne chance, az we double wor lead!---az the crowd explodes!

45+ 6 minutes: 'The Cherry Pickers' reduce the deficit when Lerma heeds into the Gallowgate End net (Their nickname iz: The Cherries!) 

The 2nd half woz a bit nervy az wor visitors tried to find the equaliser, but some excellent saves from Dubravka in The Toon goal saved the day and then near the end, Rondon  missed a great chance to get hiz hat-trick when he woz clean through on goal, but hiz effort woz put behind by Begovic for a corner!
The ref gave a goal kick, but the linesman on The Milburn Stand side flagged to say that iz woz a corner! (how the ref couldn't see that iz a mystery az he woz just a few feet from the incident!?)

The linesman in question had seemingly given every decision before that to Bournemoooth, and one wag behind me commented that: "Hiz flag must only be able to gan one way!"

With 9 minutes left ex SMB striker Defoe came on and we feared the worst!----But we managed to hold oot and the ref finally blew hiz whistle @ '5:03pm bells' (due to the forst half injury to Smith) az we picked up 'back to back' wins for the forst time in 9 months!

Things are lookin UP ↥ at last!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Fernandez, Dummett, Ritchie (Hayden 74), Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Clark 78), Perez, Rondon

Attendance: 49,266 (just 1,300 Cherry Pickers!)

IF Bournemoooth had sold their full allocation of 3,200 tickets the crowd would have been: 51,166

*Geordie Times factfile: Salamon Rondon became the 144th different player to score for us in The Premyaa Leegue!
We are nuw just 3 behind Sporz at the top of the pile, who have 147 different scorers

Footnote: Before the match we were in 'The Bodega' boozer on Westgate Road, where Cardiff were playin Brightin on the telly. 
A buglar played the last post and then there woz a minutes silence. The packed pub went deathly quiet az fans stopped wot they were doin' and observed the minutes silence!

That's the forst time I have ever seen this in a pub!

"LEST WE FORGET!"

6 NUFC players were killed in World War 1

The 4 ringed are Tom Goodwill, Dan Dunglinson, Owen McManus and Tom Cairns

Also killed were George Rivers and Richard McGough

SOOOTHAMPTON U23s v THE TOON U23s **** TOONEET

Posted '4:25pm bells' Friday 9th November 2018

"STAPLE DIET!"

Tooneet @ Sooothampton's Staplewood trainin' groond, wor U23s take on theirs in a FA Premyaa Resorve Leegue cup game @ '7 bells'
'The Geordie Times' wont be there, but yoo can bet your bottom dollar that a handful of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be there! (If it woz on a 'proper groond' and not a trainin complex, then we would definitely have travelled doon to deepest Hampshire!)

We will of course let yoo know how we 'got on' ASAP

Meeenwhile wor U18s have been drawn away to Bolton U18s in the thord roond of the FA Youth Cup---to be played on or before 15th December! (We've been here before of course!)

Updated '9:48pm bells' in Eccles, Manchester (on truck run!)---(stationary!)

FT 1-1    Elias Sorensen saved the day when he scored with a well taken shot just 2mins from time after Marcus Barnes had given Sooothampton the lead after 18mins 
Attendance not known yet, but there woz at least one 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' present!

The game woz played in heavy rain (just like it iz in Eccles az I write this!)

"IT WOZ 50 YEARS AGO TODAY!" (Part 2)

Posted '11:20 am bells' Friday 9th November 2018

The Geordie Times 'Golden Jubilee' celebrations continue, when, on this day half a century ago aa paid mee forst ever visit to London to watch The Toon play The Arse at Highbury!
(Archive match report below this one)

(Ground 004, Arsenal Stadium, Highbury, London, Ing-er-land, Europe, The World!)

THE TOON v BOURNEMOOOTH *** PREMYAA LEEGUE THIS SATURDAY

Posted '4:32pm bells' Thorsday 8th November 2018

"CHILD'S PLAY!"

Rafa haz said that NUFC fans consider the players az their 'children' and that offerin them encouragement, even when they make misstakz, iz the best way to achieve success this season!

Benitez insists that the majority of fans realise that unity woz crucial in helpin NUFC win promotion in the 2016-2017 campaign az well az bein an important factor in NUFCs 10th place finish last season!

He expects a similar positive atmosphere v Bournemoooth this Saturday az we had last weekend v Wotfaad, when we won for the forst time this season in 12 attempts!

Muto meenwhile iz unlikely to play, while Shelvey iz a doubt!  Lascelles however IZ available for selection in yet anothaa must win game!

Bournemoooth have sold 1,722 tickets for the game, which iz ower a thoosand more than both Brightin and Wotfaad sold in wor last 2 home games!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

PS: A'm havin problems with mee laptop and aa have to de everything on mee mobile!---which isnt easy on a smaall screen!

Updated Friday---SORTED!

THE THORD OF A MILLION CLUB!

Posted '3:17pm bells' Tuesday 6th November 2018

"GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!"

SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY!

Anothaa Geordie Times landmark woz passed today when we receeeved wor 333,334th pageview, meenin' that we have now passed the the thord of a million total!

The top 10 pageviews from countries aroond the world are az follows:

UK 159,989
USA 43,832
Ukraine 23,034
Jawmany 17,645
Israel 15,060
Rushaa 10,584
(Lost in) France 8,199
(Mee old) China 4,452
The Guinness Republic 3,802
Spain 2,382
The rest of the world totals from 149 countries and territories (plus Mars and beyond!) are az follows, 44,355

We thank each and everyone off yoo for loggin into this site

"Howay the lads!"

"Take me to your leader!

Whey aye maan!"

THE TOON 1 WOTFAAD 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:30am bells' Sunday 4th November 2018

'GEORDIE TIMES 'EXCLUUUSIVE!'
SOMEWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH OF THE TYNE YESTERDAY

THE SS NEWCASTLE!--- (Honest!)

"WHEN THE BOAT COMES IN!"

Before the match in 'The Bodega' on Westgate Road, most Toon fans didn't 'fink' we would get much oot of this game---includin' little ol' ME!

And so it came to pass that in the forst half Wotfaad had a 'boat load' of chances to take the lead, but their finishin' woz (thankfully!) terrible! (at least 7 easy chances!)

ACTION AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

We were indeed on the 'back foot' and were pleased to hear the refs whistle for half time with the score still 0-0!

We attacked The Gallowgate End in the 2nd half and played much better, with the tornin point comin' when an injured Jonjo Shelvey had to gan of to be replaced by South Korean international Ki Sung Yueng. (Just before this Wotfaad had rattled the Leazes End crossbar!)

Aaal of a sudden the lang balls from Shelvey were replaced by 10 yard passes from Ki and this worked a treat in the 65th minute when Perez got hiz heed to a Ki free kick from the edge of the box and the baall flew into the top of the net to lift the roof off St. James'z!

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (2nd half)

After a couple of daft free kicks given away near the end, plus great saves from Dubravka--the crowd nervously whistled loudly for the final whistle---and finally---eventually!--- the ref blew for full time after 5 mins stoppage time and wor winless, horrible run of home defeats had finally come to an end!----After six months 'aall at sea'---THE BOAT HAD FINALLY CAME IN!

Rafa came onto the pitch at the end to applaud the crowd for their undying support of him and the team and yoo would have thought we had won the leegue, such woz the reaction!

HAPPY TOON FANS LEAVE THE GROOND!

Amazingly, the win lifts us oot of the relegation zone into 17th place, az we doubled wor points tally in one blow---although the teams below us, 'uddersfield and Fulham must play each othaa on Munday neet! (A 0-0 draw pleeze!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles (Schar 46 ), Fernandez, Dummett, Ritchie, Shelvey (Ki 50), Diame, Kenedy, Muto (Perez 45), Rondon

Attendance: 49,157 (1,600 Wotfaad fans) 
That meenz that 47,557 Toon fans were there---the lowest total this season---not bad, considerin' we hadn't won at home or away for SIX months!

Had Wotfaad sold their full allocation of 3,200 tickets the crowd would have been 50,757!

*PS: The crowd were asked to observe a minutes silence for the victims of the Lestaa helicopter crash--but instead some started clappin' and muted applause replaced the silence! 

THE TOON v WOTFAAD *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '3:11pm bells' Friday 2nd November 2018

THE MILBURN STAND FROM BARRACK ROAD

Tomorrow afternoon at '3 bells' we attempt to win wor forst game of the season when we take on 'The Elton John Mob' at HQ!

Salamon Rondon iz expected to start, givin the much needed forward line a boost before the game!

Yet again we MUST win this game---but I have said this so many times this season that I am 'finkin aboot gettin' a tape recordin made of it!

THE MEDIA 'STICK THE KNIFE IN!'

Wor lowest home crowd of 'just' 50,329 v Brightin haz been given az an indication of us voting with wor feet and stayin' away!.
HOWEVER!---In the previous 4 games before Brightin the away section woz sold oot with 3,200 fans from Sporz, Chelski, The Arse and Lestaa!
Brightin anly brought 1,600 fans

So the number of Toon fans in the groond this season iz az follows:

Sporz---Attendance: 51,749 - 3,200 away fans = 48,549 Toon fans

Chelski---51,791 - 3,200 away fans = 48,591 Toon fans

The Arse---52,165 - 3,200 away fans = 48,965 Toon fans

Lestaa---51,523 - 3,200 away fans = 48,323 Toon fans

Brightin---50,329 -1,600 away fans = 48,729 Toon fans 

So this actually meeenz that Toon fans attendin' the Brightin game waz the 2nd highest oot of 5! 

Az Wotfaad are bringin even fewer fans than Brightin (1,400 tickets sold) it will be very interestin' to see if the media slag us off shud the attendance be the lowest of the season because of this! 

NICE or NAUSEATING ?

Much haz been written this week aboot wor club captain Jamaal Lascelles sayin' that wor 'beloved owner' known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' (he 'controls' wor miserable lives!) iz "A nice guy' after signin' a new 6 year contract with NUFC
He haz said that the protests are affectin the players on the pitch, which seems a very good excuse for NE wins in ELEVEN attempts this season! (The REEEL reason we cant win iz because we cant score enough goals (ne shots on target last week at Sooothampton, for example!)

He woz quizzed on Radio Newcasil last neet, sayin' to a fan who had phoned up, that he had been here for 4 years and that he had met wor owner just ONCE in aall that time, when they went for that infamous meal in Ponteland a few weeks back!

It haz been reported in 'The Sun' that this "Nice guy" threatened to "knock oot" a Toon fan, who confronted him in The Paradise Curry House in Hampstead, west London orlier this week for caallin him "A parasite!"

A "Nice guy!" OR a "Parasite!"---we leave yoo to draw your own conclusions!

PS: Its 'bonfire neet' on November 5th, when Geordies will be puttin' a certain 'guy' on top of their bonfires! (NOT an effigy of Guy Fawkes, by the way!)

SOMEWHERE NEAR ST. JAMES' PARK!

A full match report and pix will appear hear on Sunday---sometime!