WORLD CUP QWAATAA FINALS!

Posted '12:40pm bells Thorsday 5th July 2018   Updated Saturday @ 'high noon bells'

THE LUZNHIKI STADIUM, MOSCOW

WHERE THE FINAL WILL BE PLAYED

(PHOTO TAKEN IN 2013 WHEN NUFC

PLAYED ANZI IN THE EUROPA LEEGUE)

The qwaataa finals of the World Cup take place tomorrow and Saturday, with Ing-er-land gettin the prime spot of 3 bells on Saturday!
The boozers thoughoot the land will be packed to the rafters to cheer them on v Sweedin!

Updated Saturday at high noon bells

Fri 6th July
Franss 2  Urigwy 0, 3 bells in Nizhny on ITV

Braazil 1  Beljim 2, 7 bells in Kazan on BBC

Sat 7th July
Sweedin v ING-ER-LAND, 3 bells in Samara and every pub/club in the land!
(PS: I will watch it in The Monkey Bar in the Toon!🍺🐒🍺🐵🍺🐒🍺🐵🍺🐒🍺🐵)

Rushaa 2  Crow-ay-shaa 2 (Crow-ay-shaa won 4-3 on penalties and will meet Ing-er-land in the semi finals!), 7 bells in Sochi

PPS: Just switched the telly on in wor hoose and 1966 World Cup winner Bobby Charlton iz in the crowd----at WIMBLEDON!!!???😨🎾

NUFC LIVE TELLY GAMES ANNOONCED!

Posted '12:50pm bells' Friday 6th July 2018

The forst roond of live telly games have just been released!
Wor forst 4 games have aalready been moved!😨

AUGUST
Sat 11th: SPORZ, HOME, 12:30 BELLS (SKY)

SAT 18th: THE TAFFY NOSES, AWAY, 12:30 BELLS (SKY)

SUN 26th: CHELSKI OAPs, HOME, 4:00 BELLS (SKY)

SEPTEMBER
SAT 1st: THE BLUE MOONIES, AWAY, 5:30 BELLS (BT)

SAT 15th: THE ARSE, HOME, 3 BELLS (NE TELLY)

SAT 22nd: CRISTIL PALLIS, AWAY, 3 BELLS (NE TELLY)

SAT 29th: THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE, HOME, 3 BELLS (NE TELLY)
* 

YI CANNIT DE THEM AALL! ****PRE SEASON FIXTURE UPDATE!

Posted '2:40 pm bells' Wednesday 4th July 2018

Stirling university's groond

Wor U23s have added anothaa fixture to their pre season schedule!
We will play Hamilton Accies at Stirling university on Sunday 22nd July at '3 bells'

I fly back from Exeter on the day after wor U18s game in Mousehole, Cornwall, and wont have time to get to Stirling az the flight to 'Toon airport' doesnt land til '4 15 bells' on Sunday afternoon, just az the 2nd half will be kickin off in Stirling!😥
An impossible situation! 

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2018-2019 ***LATEST

Posted '12:45 pm bells' Friday 1st Joon 2018
Updated '12:26 pm bells' Friday 15th Joon and then onwards az fixtures are added

"INTO THE DRAGONS DEN!"

Estadio de Dragoa

Some forst team fixtures for pre season have just been annoonced!
They fit in nicely with wor trip to Mousehole to watch wor U23 side!

Updated Friday 15th Joon
The final 1st team pre season fixture haz been annoonced. We will be away to SC Braga of Portugal on the forst of August---2 days after we fly BACK from Portugal for wor game v FC Porto! 
(Yi couldnt make it up!)(😨)

KEY: GOLD=1st team game    PINK=U23s game
GREEN=U18s game

Tue 17th July @ 7:45 bells
St Patricks Athletic, away @ Richmond Park, Dublin

Fri and Sat 20th and 21st July
Mousehole tournament near Lands End, featurin' NUFC U18s, 'udersfeeeld U18s, Bolton Wanabeez U18s and Mousehole FC
(Originally I thought it woz an U23s tournament but have since foond oot that its wor U18s who are playin'!) 

A penalty shootout from a Mousehole FC

game last season!😨

Sun 22nd July @ 3 bells
U23s v Hamilton Accies @ Stirling university

Mun to Wed 23rd to 25th July
Northern Ireland Super Cup.
Mun: U18s v Coonty Down
Tue: U18s vDeportes Iqique of Chile
Wed: U18s v Itcifuna of Japan

Tue 24th July @ 7:45 bells
Hull, away @ KC Stadium

Sat 28th July (ko tbc)
FC Porto, away @ The Estadio de Dragao

Mun 30th July @ 2 bells
U23s v Rangers @ Rangers trainin ground (MIGHT be switched to Ibrox Park?)

Wed 1st August @ 7 30 bells
SC Braga, away @ Estadio Braga 

BRAGA'S GROOND WOZ BUILT IN AN OLD ROCK QUARRY!

(AZ CAN BE SEEN BEHIND RIGHT HAND GOAL!)

Sat 4th Aug @ 3 bells
Augsberg of Jawmany, home (sweet home!)

From one cathedral to anothaa!

View of St. James' Park  from St. Nix cathedral!

WE CERTAINLEEE DIDNT EXPECT THIS!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wednesday 4th July 2018

TODAY'S 'RONNY-GILL'!

Ing-er-land are through to the qwaata finals of the World Cup (bet yi didnt naa that?) after unexpectedly beatin Colum-bee-aa 4-3 on penalties in Moscow!

We can now look forward to a 'booze fuelled Saturday at '3 bells' when we take on Sweedin!

We couldnt see it comin, but we have a great chance of progressin to the semis az wor opponents are hardy great shakes-- are they!

No 'turnips' pleeze against the Sweedes!

Roll on Saturday afternooon!😊

"OPERATION NATION!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 3rd July 2018

Ing-er-land are playin' Colum-bee-aa tooneet for a place in the qwaata finals of the World Cup and we wish them well!
I'll be drivin' mee truck to Manchester az the game iz on and will have to listen to the commentary on 'Radio 5 live', while most of yoo will be watchin it on the telly!

And speakin' of the telly, I hope nobody iz due for a major operation in hospital somewhere in Ing-er-land between '7 and 9 bells' tooneet!😨

WORLD CUP ROOND OF 16

Posted '2:00pm bells' Saturday 30th Joon 2018
and updated az games are played!
 ("er!"---1 day late!---this IZ 'The Geordie Times' after aall!)

The Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow

Pictured in 2013 when The Toon

played Anzi in The Europa Leegue

We are doon to the last 16 in the World Cup!

Sat Joon 30th

Franss 4  Argen-teenaa 3
Kazan, 3 bells on BBC

Urigwy 2  Portugil 1
Sochi, 7 bells on ITV

Sun July 1st

Spayne 1  Rushaa 1 (Rushaa won 4-3 on pens)
Luz, 3 bells on BBC

Crow-ay-shaa 1  Denmaark 1 (Crow-ay-shaa won 3-2 on pens)
Nizhny, 7 bells on ITV

Mun July 2nd

Braa-zill 2  Mexsico 0
Samara, 3 bells on ITV

Beljim 3  Japaan 2
Rostov, 7 bells on BBC

Tue July 3rd

Sweedin 1  Switzerlaand 0
St Petes, 3 bells on BBC

Columb-ee-aa 1    ING-ER-LAND 1 (Ing-er-land won 4-3 on penalties!😊)
OTK, 7 bells on ITV

"WHEY AYE!----IT'S KI !"

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 30th Joon 2018

"AT LAST!---ANOTHAA SIGNING!"

NUFC have made wor 2nd signin' of the summer transfor window with the aqusishun (Geordie Times spelllin'!) of Ki Sung-Yueng from Swanzee on a free transfor az he became a free agent!

He iz a 29 year old Sooth Koree-an international and played in The World Cup v Sweden and Mexsico and woz an unused sub in their famous victory v Jawmany a few days ago!

He haz 93 caps for hiz country and haz played 166 Premyaa Leegue games for Swanzee!

Rafa said: "I am pleased to welcome Ki to the club. It was an easy decision to bring him here!
He is the captain of his country, a good character and he will be a good addition to the squad!"

Ki will be the 50th different nationality to play for us in the Premier Leegue!

Welcome to The Toon!

Aaltogether now!
"The Yueng ones, darling we're the Yueng ones!"
"And Yueng ones should never be afraid!" (sic!)😨

      The back page of Saurday's ''Ronny- Gill'

ING-ER-LAND KANED!

Posted '12:47pm bells' Friday 29th Joon 2018

FT Beljim resorves 1  Ing-er-land resorves 0

To leave top goal scorer and captain Harry Kane oot of the startin' X1 and make EIGHT changes to the team that annialated Panamaar 6-1 iz unforgiveable!
Wot the hell Soothgate woz 'fink'in aboot iz anybody's guess!

And so it came to pass that they lost 1-0 in a terrible match against Beljim (who themsels made NINE changes from their previous game!) and will face Columbee-aa (16th in the rankings!) instead of Japaan (61st in the rankings!) in the next roond, which could well end in tears yet again!----Lets hope not!

A total selection shambles if yoo ask us!

PS: Some have said that finishin 2nd meenz that Ing-er-land have an easier run in and will have an extra day off!
8 of those who played against Beljim WONT start against  Columbee-aa anyway so it wouldnt make any difference!---would it?

WORLD CUP LATEST!

Posted '2:55am bells' Wednesday 28th Joon 2018

"DON'T MENTION THE WORLD CUP!"

Wed 27th Joon

Sorbia 0  Braazill 2

Switzaaland 2  Costaa Reekaa 2

Mexsico 0  Sweedin 3

Sooth Koree-aa 2  JAWMANY 0!

ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS!----

TO REACH THE WORLD CUP FINAL!😨

(Wishful finkin' we 'Fink'!)

Thu 28th Joon

ING-ER-LAND v Beljim

Panaamar v Tune-issy-aa

Japaan v Pole-lind

Senegaal v Columbi-aa

PS: Its rumoured than the Beljin manager Martinez iz gannin to play hiz 2nd 11 in the game that kicks off at 7 bells!

Surely Ing-er-land can beat Beljim resorves?😨

Updated much later:

Well actually!---- NO!