Thursday, 14 June 2018

THE ANZI MAKHACHKEMS 0 THE TOON 0

Updated '9:40pm bells' Saturday 9th March 2013

(Ground number 298)
Date of First Visit: 7th March 2013
Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow, Russia

Anzi Makhachkala  0
Newcastle United 0

Europa League round of 16 1st leg

(Brief trip report---more to follow much later!)


The lang trip to Rushaa started off on the Wednesday mornin' @ '3:30 bells' when the taxi pulled up and we were whisked off to Toon Airport for the '6 bells' flight to Brussels.

From there we boarded wor next flight not lang after landin' and arrived in Moscow some 12 hours after leavin' Tyneside.
Customs waz suprizingleee easy to get through, (which we didn't expect) and we were soon on wor way to wor hotel which waz an hours train ride away plus havin' to negotiate THREE Metro lines to get there!<(it waznt easy!)<(it waz aall in Rushan!)

It waz in the middle of newhere next to a buildin' site and after a quick wash n brush up it waz doon to the bar for a quick pint before heedin' off to Red Square!
Unbelieviblee it waz ower NINE QUID a pint and so I opted to stay 't-total' until we reached Red Square!<(a'd anly brung £100 spendin' money, thinkin' that that would be enough!)

One taxi ride later and we were there, but it wasnt cheap there eetha, with beer between four and six quid a pint!

Next day it waz match day and we decided to gan to the groond orly to suss the place oot before heedin' across Moscow to visit Locomotiv Moscow's groond in the suborbs!
"IF YIV EVER WONDERED WHY LOCOMOTIV MOSCOW
ARE SO CAALLED***THEN NOW YI NAA!"

Temperatures were reportedly minus ten in the bitin' wind and so (az yi de!) several liquids were consumed before heedin' back to Red Square for the afternoon session.
From there it waz onward to the match which kicked off at '9 bells' local time (5 in England)

TOON FANS TAKE OWER THE LONDON GRILL
NEXT TO MOSCOW'S RED SQUARE!

70 odd faithful who had managed to get visas in time were in the away section behind the goal, plus a fortha 30 or so Rushans who were there to support us, givin us a total followin' of ower 100!
SOME OF THE 73 TOON FANS---LOOKIN TOWARDS
THE ANZI FANS IN THE MAIN STAND


Anzi fans were in the main stand and there looked to be 4 or 5,000 of them who had made the thoosand mile jorney from Dagestan az the match kicked off, with the rest of the 78,000 seater stadium totally empty!




"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"
(Apart from the 'Secret Police'!)
The temperature had dropped sharply by this time and mee 'plates of meat' were startin' to freeze up, despite iz havin' two pairs of thick socks on!
And az predicted by us, an understrength Toon X1 side started the game. (see team line up below)

The forst half waz az borin' az it gets and the anly action of note waz when Rob Elliot in The Toon goal tipped a shot ower the bar near the end of the half!
The plastic pitch didnt help of course and the 2nd half wasnt much better although Ben Arfa makin' hiz retorn after injury shud have done better when he tried to chip their keeper in front of the 73 Toon fans!
 Obertan aalso had a rare shot that he blazed ower the bar but that waz aboot it and we look forward to the 2nd leg next Thorsday @ St James'

Toon team: Elliot, Simpson, Yanga, Perch, Haidara, Cabaye (Tiote 84), Anita (Steve Taylor 75), Ben Arfa (Shola Ameobi 64), Marveaux, Obertan, Sissoko 

Attendance: 5,000 (73 Toon fans plus 30 Rushan Geordies az mentioned!)

It waz then back to Red Square for somemore liquid refrehments before heedin' back to the hotel in the orly hours!

By the next day the 'bit' had run oot and we had to get some more to satisfy wor 'thirst requirements'! and it waz then the 'torturous' jorney back yem via the Moscow Metro/train/2 flights and then WOR Metro from Toon Airport and finally a bus from 'the Central' and I arrived at mee front door @ '10:30 pm bells last neet totally 'cream crackered'!--"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" 

More fotoz from Rushaa!



^"IZ THIS BLACKPOOOL IN DISGUISE!?"^










Wednesday, 13 June 2018

NUFC FIXTURES OOT TOMORROW

Posted '1:00pm bells' Wednesday 13th Joon 2018



Just one day to gan til 'the big day'---and NO!---a'm not taakin aboot the World Cup!
A'm on aboot the Premyaa Leegue fixture list for next season, which are released tomorrow mornin' @ '9 bells'!


A view of SJP from West Street, Gatesheed

Of course many of them will be changed for live telly, but at least we will get an idea of the approximate dates!

The Geordie Times doesnt have  copyright  ower the fixtures, SO we will have to de them in cryptic code (az per usual) to avoid any infringements or fines!😨

Watch this space tomorrow and we will guarantee that we will be last again to inform yoo, wor loyal subjects, of the impendin' dates!

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

STAN ANDERSON RIP

Posted '2:55 pm bells' Tuesday 12th Joon 2018

It iz with great sadness that we hear of  former Toon skipper Stan Anderson's passing!

Stan was captain of wor 1964-65 promotion winnin team (az champions)
Indeed, Stan played in mee forst ever visit to St. James' Park in the orly 60's v Coventry

He woz 85 years old and died on Sunday!

Uniquely he aalso captained both the mackems and the smoggies!---- The anly player to captain aall 3 clubs!

RIP Stan


Sunday, 10 June 2018

TOON PAIR WIN WORLD CUP!

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 10th Joon 2018

Congratulations to Ing-er-land and Toon players Freddie Woodman and Adam Armstrong in particular, for winnin' the U21s World Cup in Toulon yesterday!

Ing-er-land came from a goal behind against Mexico in the final to win 2-1 with goals from Deal Fry and Kieran Dowell to lift the trophy for the thord time in a row!

Well done lads!

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

TIME NEARLY UP!

Posted '1:45pm bells' Wednesday 6th Joon 2018
Today's front page
in the 'Ronny-Gill'

News that a stalemate haz been reached in Rafa's contract negotiations reaches us!

Just why NUFC wont tie him doon to an extended contract iz annoyin' and frustratin to say the least!

2 months of talks seem to have hit a brick waall and no new signings are in the offing with the new season fast approachin!

Life iz nevaa easy under wor absent owner!---IZ IT!!?

Thursday, 31 May 2018

MARTIN'S A MAG!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 31st May 2018

Az per usual 'The Geordie Times' iz one day behind with the news, but we are delighted to tell yoo that Sparta Prague's on loan Slovakian international goalie,29 year old Martin Dubravka, haz signed a 4 year deal, reported to be in the region of £5 million quid!

We can anly assume that he haz signed because 'Rafa the Gaffer' haz had assurances aboot hiz future from NUFC!

The forst signin' of many we hope!?

Today's 'Ronny-Gill'!

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

"A RIGHT PROPER 'CHARLIE'!"

Posted '3:15pm bells' Wednesday 30th May 2018
"Honest---I've supported sund'lind since I was 3!"
 .

sund'lind's new executive director (whatevaa that meenz!?) caalled 'Charlie' haz said that he haz aalways thought that NUFC were an arrogant club who seem to think they are special!
This 'right Charlie' says he aalways had a fondness and soft spot towards the SMBs, leadin to him havin antipathy towards NUFC
(He would say that---wouldnt he!?)

He's an OXFAAD UNITED FAN and woz born there, so it seems very strange that he haz a soft spot for a club 300 miles north!

Wot he iz tryin to say iz: "I'm one of yoo and I hate 'The Mags', just like you!"
Wot utter garbage!---but will the mackems be taken in by aall this cr*p and buy their season tickets because of wot he haz said! (Lower bowl tickets only available!)

Accordin to the Oxfaad- Inglish dictionary (very appropriate az thats where he's from!) it says that the word 'arrogant' meenz , 'superior' and 'mocking'! (az if we would!)

"Er!"---"Mebeez he's right after aall!"☺😊😀😁😂😃😄😆

PS: Accordin' to the said dictionary, 'antipathy' meenz 'dislike', 'hatred' and 'loathing', while 'a Charlie' meenz, 'stupid fool', 'baffoon' and 'clown'!

100% right again!

Footnote:
In an interview on Radio Newcasil (thats reet, Radio NEWCASIL!) 'charlie' said that the Oxfaad v Swindon derby woz just az 'intense' az the Tyne/wear derby!!!
A 'right charlie' for certain!!!😨

(Educated at Oxfaad Univorsity and Eton, and speakin' with a 'posh voice', charlie iz obviously on the 'same wave length' az the mackems who come from witherwack and pennywell!---"Thi naaaz!")

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2018-2019*** LATEST NEWS!

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 21st July "er!" May 2018
Updated 'high noon bells' Friday 25th May 2018
Updated '3:40pm bells' Tuesday 29th May 2018
TRUNGLE PARK, MOUSEHOLE FC

"WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PLAY!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that some pre season friendlies are in the pipeline!

Forst of aall wor U23s squad are due to play in a tournament in deepest Cornwall at a ridiculously named place caalled Mousehole (prenoonced 'Mowsall')

It's a 4 team tournament with 'uddersfield, Bolton, and Mousehole FC the othaa participants in 'The Endorsed Cup'
TRUNGLE PARK, MOUSEHOLE FC
(ON A NON MATCH DAY!)

The tournament will take place at Trungle Park, the home groond of Mousehole FC on Friday July 20th and Saturday 21st July.
Wor forst game will be against 'Ne Where Near' Bolton (their groond iz 6 miles to the north of Bolton!) on the Friday and will kick off immediatly after Mousehole's game v 'uddersfield, which kicks off at '5:30 bells'

The 2 losers will then play each othaa on the Saturday at '1:00 bells', followed by the final between the 2 winners at '4:00 bells'

Mousehole iz near Penzance and iz just 10 miles from Land's End and iz the MOST SOUTHERLY futbaall groond in Ing-er-land!
(Provided the games don't 'clash' with forst team games, 'The Geordie Times' will be there!----We've done the most northerly groond in Ing-er-land, quite a few times, which iz Scottish Leegue side Berwick Rangers'z Shielfield Park abode!)


Aalso, despite still not knowin' if Rafa will still be here, there are fixtures in the Republic of Ireland v Dublin side St. Patricks Athletic az NUFC are gannin on their annual trainin' camp in Maynooth near Dublin at the beginning of July---there iz no date yet for this match! (Probably in the forst week of July!)
RICHMOND PARK, ST. PATRICKS ATHLETIC FC

There are aalso rumours of games v Celtic and Oporto of Portugal, but we have ne idea if they will be home or away games!

Updated Tuesday 29th May

"STOP PRESS!---STOP PRESS!"
Wor secret club 'mole' tells us that wor U23s are to play Rangers U23s at Rangers trainin' groond on the ootskirts of Glasgow on Munday 30th July @ '2 bells'!---Yoo hord it forst in 'The Geordie Times'!

We will of course, keep yoo---wor loyal and faithful reeeders, posted of any more forthcomin' pre season fixture news az it happens! 

Monday, 28 May 2018

WILL ST.JAMES' PARK BE ON 'THE MENU' FOR THE SMBs? OR WILL THEY BE SENT TO COVENTRY?

Posted 10:00am bells Munday 28th May 2018
The othaa SJP!

There iz just one more play off place left at Wembley this afternooon, when Exitaa City take on favorites Coventree City @ '3:00 bells' in the Leegue 2 play off final!

We reeely wud like Exitaa to win az the mackems can then look forward to a trip to St. James' Park next season!----That's St. James' Park, EXITAA!, by the way!☺😊😀😁😂😃😄

Updated '9:02 pm bells'

Coventry won 3-1 which meeenz that the mackems WILL be sent to Coventry next season! (AND Shrewsbury Toon, who lost in the Leegue 1 play off final!😅)




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