STAN ANDERSON RIP

Posted '2:55 pm bells' Tuesday 12th Joon 2018

It iz with great sadness that we hear of  former Toon skipper Stan Anderson's passing!

Stan was captain of wor 1964-65 promotion winnin team (az champions)
Indeed, Stan played in mee forst ever visit to St. James' Park in the orly 60's v Coventry

He woz 85 years old and died on Sunday!

Uniquely he aalso captained both the mackems and the smoggies!---- The anly player to captain aall 3 clubs!

RIP Stan

TOON PAIR WIN WORLD CUP!

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 10th Joon 2018

Congratulations to Ing-er-land and Toon players Freddie Woodman and Adam Armstrong in particular, for winnin' the U21s World Cup in Toulon yesterday!

Ing-er-land came from a goal behind against Mexico in the final to win 2-1 with goals from Deal Fry and Kieran Dowell to lift the trophy for the thord time in a row!

Well done lads!

TIME NEARLY UP!

Posted '1:45pm bells' Wednesday 6th Joon 2018

Today's front page

in the 'Ronny-Gill'

News that a stalemate haz been reached in Rafa's contract negotiations reaches us!

Just why NUFC wont tie him doon to an extended contract iz annoyin' and frustratin to say the least!

2 months of talks seem to have hit a brick waall and no new signings are in the offing with the new season fast approachin!

Life iz nevaa easy under wor absent owner!---IZ IT!!?

"JESUS LOVES US!"😊

Posted '9:30pm bells' Munday 4th Joon 2018

MARTIN'S A MAG!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 31st May 2018

Az per usual 'The Geordie Times' iz one day behind with the news, but we are delighted to tell yoo that Sparta Prague's on loan Slovakian international goalie,29 year old Martin Dubravka, haz signed a 4 year deal, reported to be in the region of £5 million quid!

We can anly assume that he haz signed because 'Rafa the Gaffer' haz had assurances aboot hiz future from NUFC!

The forst signin' of many we hope!?

Today's 'Ronny-Gill'!

"A RIGHT PROPER 'CHARLIE'!"

Posted '3:15pm bells' Wednesday 30th May 2018

"Honest---I've supported sund'lind since I was 3!"

 .

sund'lind's new executive director (whatevaa that meenz!?) caalled 'Charlie' haz said that he haz aalways thought that NUFC were an arrogant club who seem to think they are special!
This 'right Charlie' says he aalways had a fondness and soft spot towards the SMBs, leadin to him havin antipathy towards NUFC
(He would say that---wouldnt he!?)

He's an OXFAAD UNITED FAN and woz born there, so it seems very strange that he haz a soft spot for a club 300 miles north!

Wot he iz tryin to say iz: "I'm one of yoo and I hate 'The Mags', just like you!"
Wot utter garbage!---but will the mackems be taken in by aall this cr*p and buy their season tickets because of wot he haz said! (Lower bowl tickets only available!)

Accordin to the Oxfaad- Inglish dictionary (very appropriate az thats where he's from!) it says that the word 'arrogant' meenz , 'superior' and 'mocking'! (az if we would!)

"Er!"---"Mebeez he's right after aall!"☺😊😀😁😂😃😄😆

PS: Accordin' to the said dictionary, 'antipathy' meenz 'dislike', 'hatred' and 'loathing', while 'a Charlie' meenz, 'stupid fool', 'baffoon' and 'clown'!

100% right again!

Footnote:
In an interview on Radio Newcasil (thats reet, Radio NEWCASIL!) 'charlie' said that the Oxfaad v Swindon derby woz just az 'intense' az the Tyne/wear derby!!!
A 'right charlie' for certain!!!😨

(Educated at Oxfaad Univorsity and Eton, and speakin' with a 'posh voice', charlie iz obviously on the 'same wave length' az the mackems who come from witherwack and pennywell!---"Thi naaaz!")

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2018-2019*** LATEST NEWS!

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 21st July "er!" May 2018
Updated 'high noon bells' Friday 25th May 2018
Updated '3:40pm bells' Tuesday 29th May 2018

TRUNGLE PARK, MOUSEHOLE FC

"WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PLAY!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that some pre season friendlies are in the pipeline!

Forst of aall wor U23s squad are due to play in a tournament in deepest Cornwall at a ridiculously named place caalled Mousehole (prenoonced 'Mowsall')

It's a 4 team tournament with 'uddersfield, Bolton, and Mousehole FC the othaa participants in 'The Endorsed Cup'

TRUNGLE PARK, MOUSEHOLE FC
(ON A NON MATCH DAY!)

The tournament will take place at Trungle Park, the home groond of Mousehole FC on Friday July 20th and Saturday 21st July.
Wor forst game will be against 'Ne Where Near' Bolton (their groond iz 6 miles to the north of Bolton!) on the Friday and will kick off immediatly after Mousehole's game v 'uddersfield, which kicks off at '5:30 bells'

The 2 losers will then play each othaa on the Saturday at '1:00 bells', followed by the final between the 2 winners at '4:00 bells'

Mousehole iz near Penzance and iz just 10 miles from Land's End and iz the MOST SOUTHERLY futbaall groond in Ing-er-land!
(Provided the games don't 'clash' with forst team games, 'The Geordie Times' will be there!----We've done the most northerly groond in Ing-er-land, quite a few times, which iz Scottish Leegue side Berwick Rangers'z Shielfield Park abode!)

Aalso, despite still not knowin' if Rafa will still be here, there are fixtures in the Republic of Ireland v Dublin side St. Patricks Athletic az NUFC are gannin on their annual trainin' camp in Maynooth near Dublin at the beginning of July---there iz no date yet for this match! (Probably in the forst week of July!)

RICHMOND PARK, ST. PATRICKS ATHLETIC FC

There are aalso rumours of games v Celtic and Oporto of Portugal, but we have ne idea if they will be home or away games!

Updated Tuesday 29th May

"STOP PRESS!---STOP PRESS!"
Wor secret club 'mole' tells us that wor U23s are to play Rangers U23s at Rangers trainin' groond on the ootskirts of Glasgow on Munday 30th July @ '2 bells'!---Yoo hord it forst in 'The Geordie Times'!

We will of course, keep yoo---wor loyal and faithful reeeders, posted of any more forthcomin' pre season fixture news az it happens! 

WILL ST.JAMES' PARK BE ON 'THE MENU' FOR THE SMBs? OR WILL THEY BE SENT TO COVENTRY?

Posted 10:00am bells Munday 28th May 2018

The othaa SJP!

There iz just one more play off place left at Wembley this afternooon, when Exitaa City take on favorites Coventree City @ '3:00 bells' in the Leegue 2 play off final!

We reeely wud like Exitaa to win az the mackems can then look forward to a trip to St. James' Park next season!----That's St. James' Park, EXITAA!, by the way!☺😊😀😁😂😃😄

Updated '9:02 pm bells'

Coventry won 3-1 which meeenz that the mackems WILL be sent to Coventry next season! (AND Shrewsbury Toon, who lost in the Leegue 1 play off final!😅)

"WOT GANS AROOND ----!"

Posted '8:45pm bells' Saturday 26th May 2018

"WEMBLEY WAIL!"

FOR 'SOB ON THE TYNE' read 'WEMBLEY WAIL!'😤
"WOT GANS AROOND COMES AROOND!"😅

Explanation: In 2009 NUFC were relegated at Villa Park and to rub salt into the wounds the Villa fans mocked us and hung banners from The Holte End of their groond which said
'SOB ON THE TYNE' and 'WHO'S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH--ANT OR DEC?'

They repeated this in 2016 when we (alang with them!) were virtually relegated at their place again!

Up until 2009 we had no 'history' of animosity against them, but their decision to "take the p*ss" oot of us that day in 2009 in particular, changed aall that!

Aall Toon fans were rootin' for Fulim yesterday in the Play off final at Wembley, for the right to win promotion back to the 'big time' of the Premyaa Leegue!
And to wor delight, Fulim won 1-0 to keep 'Broken Nose Bruce' and  'The HAZBEENS and Villans' in 'The Championship'!

"WHO'S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH!"

"JASPER CARROTT?"

Like we said, when the mackems laughed at us when we were relegated, (by flyin a plane ower SJP with an attached banner, mockin us), we have now got wor own back on them az well, when they were relegated to Leegue 1 by Borton Albion in April!

Aaltogether now! (To both sets of fans!)
"YOO LAUGHED AT US WHEN WE WENT DOWN!---
BUT WHO THE F*** IZ LAUGHIN' NOW!?"

Remember!
"WOT GANS AROOND-COMES AROOND!!!" ☺😊😀😁😂😃😄

CHAMPIONSHIP AND CHAMPIONS LEEGUE FINALS TODAY

Posted '2:20pm bells' Saturday 26th May 2018

The play off final takes place today between The Hazbeenz and Villans and Fulim at Wembley!
We reeely would like Fulim to win after Villa fans twice mocked us when we were relegated in 2009 and 2016 with their 'SOB ON THE TYNE' and 'WHO'S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH---ANT OR DEC?' banners in The Holte End of Villa Park!
Aalso we would aalso like wor loan signin' 'Mitro' to score the winnin' goal---thank yoo very much!

Az for the Champions Leegue final later tooneet, we reeely feel for the Liverbirds fans who's flights were cancelled to Kiev at the last minute and who will miss the game v Real Madrid!

It nearly happened to us in 2004 when an air traffic control strike meant that wor flight to Athens to watch NUFC v Panionios in the Inter Toto Cup waz delayed and we didnt get in til half time!
It waz a close caall but we made it eventually!

We cant imagine wot it wud be like to MISS a cup final after forkin oot £2,000!
Hope the mickey mousers win that one, just for the look on Ronaldo's face!