THE TOON v PRESTON DEAD END *** MUNDAY NEET!

Posted '2:00pm bells' Saturday 22nd April 2017


MATT RICHIE SCORES FROM THE SPOT ORLIER THIS SEASON
IN WOR 6-0 DEMOLITION OF PRESTON (SAME AGAIN PLEEEZE!)

We are left 'kickin wor heels' once again az the othaa promotion contenders are in action this afternoon, while we divvint play til Munday---thanx to Sky telly!

Aa honestly 'fink' that AALL games in the closin' stages of the season shud be played at the same time, but 'live telly rules ok' and apart from the last day of the season, (when aall games kick off  at the ridiculous time of 'high noon bells' on Sunday 7th May) we aall play on different days/times!

AALL eyes will be on the pub screens this afternoon, when Jeff Stelling & Co. give their usual 'rants' az the scores come in!

We can anly hope (and pray!) that results are kind to us once again az we nervously wait for Munday neet and the visit of Preston, who, incidentleee, we beat 6-0 orlier this season in The Leegue Cup!---1-0 will de me this time, but how will we play?

If we play like we did at Ipswich on Easter Munday---then we are doomed!
BUT! if we play like we did in wor last home game v Leeedz on Good Friday, then we will surely WIN!

I'm off oot in a few mins to down a few 'liquid lubrications' in various Toon bars az I watch Jeff & Co reveal wor 'fate' on the big screens!

Brighton's 2-0 defeat last neet meeenz that we still have a remote chance of winnin' the leegue---but it's a 'lang shot'!

An 'update' on today's results will appear here later (fingers & toes crossed!)

'BENT NOSE McCARTHY'S TRACTOR BOYS 3 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 18th April 2017
Updated with more pix 'high noon bells' Wednesday

THE BIG KICK OFF!---IF ONLY THE GAME
COULD HAVE ENDED THERE AND THEN!

"PLOUGHED UP BY THE TRACTOR BOYS!"

We didn't 'fink' it woz possible--but we actually put in a WORSE performance than wor last away game at Sheff Wed!

It woz a case of pass the baall back to Karl Darlow in 'The Toon' goal and for him to hoof it az far up the field az possible and "hope for the best!"
This happened on numerous occasions with little success az we continually lost the baall and couldn't seem to put 2 passes together once the baall had crossed the half way line!

5 changes were inexplicably made by 'Rafa the Gaffer' after wor 'much better' performance v Leeedz on Good Friday and this proved to be wor downfall! (Why Rafa?---WHY?)

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE BOBBY ROBSON END' (1st half)
(View from row K in the away end)

Predicably the home side took the lead after 42 minutes at 'The Alf Ramsey End' when Sears-'brought tears' to Toon fans eyes!
Matt Richie had lost the baall on the half way line and a run doon the left by an unchallenged Lawrence produced a cross for Sears to fire home past Darlow!

The anly highlight of the game for us woz in the 62nd minute when Atsu ran doon the left wing 'like a whippet' and crossed the baall to Daryl Murphy, who volled an unstoppable effort past the 'Tractor Boys' keeper to send the 2,000 or so Toon fans wild, in expectation of a comeback!
This DIDNT happen and before lang Ipswich were 2-1 aheed after an unmarked McGoldrick fired home at 'The Bobby Robson End' just 5 minutes after Murphy's equaliser!

A PAUL DUMMETT THROW IN AT 'THE ALF RAMSEY END'
"DOES ANYBODY WANT IT!"

And then in the dyin' embers of the game it woz 3-1 to the home side when Huws wellied the baall past wor beleaguered keeper!

We trudged back to the nearby train station in trepidation of a 'uddersfield win at Darbee (they kicked off just after wor game had finished) and az we stood on the station platform more bad news came through---'uddersfield had taken the lead after just 5 minutes or so!

The 3 carriage train back to Peterborough woz 'rammed', with standin' room only for many!  The mobile phones were 'action' by quite a few Toon followers az we prayed for a Darbee comeback!
With 87 minutes on the clock and ne forthaa score, it looked az though 'uddersfield would move within 5 points of us--plus a game in hand!---and then the 'joyous news' we'd aall 'prayed for' came through---DARBEE HAD EQUALISED 'at the death' and the 'gap' woz now 7 points between 'us and 'them'! (and a minus 32 goal difference)---The Toon fans 'erupted' az the carriage 'bounced' past March train station (It's 'APRIL' isn't it?)

MARCH IN APRIL!

Readin' had won though and were 6 points behind us--but they have played the same number of games AND they have a far inferior goal difference to us (minus 35!) which iz worth an extra point in itself!

In othaa words IF 'uddersfield fail to win next Saturday at home to Fulim and 'we' win against Preston next Munday then 'we' are promoted!

Of course this IZ NUFC isn't it!--and anythin' can happen!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin (Gamez 78), Lascelles, Hanley, Dummett, Richie (Mitrovic 82), Shelvey, Hayden, Atsu, Diame (Gouffran 61), Murphy

Attendance: 25, 684 (1,952 Toon fans---they wouldn't sell us any more tickets!) Ipswich's highest crowd of the season--2,400 higher than their 'derby' v Norwich!)

The pre match 'gargels' took place here the neet before and on the day of the match!

THE DOVE, IPSWICH

BRIARBANK, IPSWICH

 

"Little things pleeeze little minds!"--
Inside 'The Briarbank' 'International Russcue' plays a game of 'Labyrinth', where yoo must navigate a smaall metal baall around a board usin' the nobs on the side to tilt the table. The object iz to avoid the 60 holes to get to the end of the maze!--He played with it for TWO HOURS, managin' to get past just ONE hole in 200 attempts! (It's sad --isn't it!?) 
"Stick to the day job, mate!"

 This boozer iz caalled 'The Mulberry' and they gave us a rendition of 'The Blaydon Races' az we sang alang 'half 'cut!

THE ISAAC LORD ON IPSWICH WAATERFRONT

A 'YAUGHT PARK' NEAR WAATERFRONT!

"NAMED AND SHAMED!"
THE LORD NELSON WASNT OPEN IN THE 2 DAYS WE WERE THERE?
(View through the blinds of 'The Briarbank'!)

IT'S AALL TOOO MUCH!
AN INEBRIATED VETERAN TOON FAN
GRABS 40 WINKS ON THE TRAIN BACK!
"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

"WE REEELY ENJOYED WORSELS IN IPSWICH!---
APART FROM THE MATCH!"


















 







'BENT NOSE McCARTHY'S TRACTOR BOYS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '9:39am bells' Easter Sunday 16th April 2017

Later today we heed for the 'delights'? of Ipswich by choo choo train, for an overneet stay(£13 each!), where we will take on a 'Bent Nose McCarthy' side tomorrow, who are languishin' <(we naa aall the hard words!) in a mid table position with nothin' to play for apart from pride! (The game kicks off at '3 bells' tomorrow afternooon!)

NUFC on the othaa hand MUST win this game to keep at least an 8 point difference between us and 'uddersfield who kick off just after wor game (tomorrow tea time away to Darbee Coonty)

(Brighton, who are now 4 points aheed of us play Wigan at home the same time az us)

Aall 2,000 away tickets were sold ages ago az we gan for a club record breakin' 14th away win of the season!

A full Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime on Wednesday---lets hope (and pray!) it's a good story to bring yoo!)?

THE TOON 1 LEEEDZ 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 15th April 2017

"THE TALE OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE!"

We stood watchin' the results come through on Sky Sports in The Bodega and 'uddersfield were drawin' 2-2 with Preston!
It woz 6 minutes into stoppage time when dramatic news came through that 'uddersfield had scored! (I nearly chocked on my pint!)

NUFC then played wor game against Leeedz where we were winnin' 1-0 and it woz 6 minutes into stoppage time when the Yorkshiremen equalised to break wor hearts!---a case of 'da va ju' ---but not in wor favour!

Brighton had won 2-0 in the '5:30 bells' game away to Wolves, which meant they went 4 points clear of us and that 'uddersfield moved within 8 points of us---with a game in hand!


1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL


Leeedz hit the bar at The Gallowgate End' 'orly on' but after this we dominated play with several corners and near misses and Gouffran hit the post!
The 2nd half woz the same and the vital breakthrough came in the 67th minute when Lascelles scrambled the baall ower the line to send the crowd 'potty'!

And then the heartbreak in stoppage time when goalscorer Lascelles woz unable to stop Chris Wood's runnin' through wor defence and he shot past Darlow to level the match ----'WOOD' yoo believe it'!  < (The answer iz YES!--this iz NUFC after aall!)

LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE EAST STAND

Reeely, we shud have 'stuffed' Leeedz az we had enough chances to do so, but, we didn't and are crawlin' towards the finishin' line 'tortoise like', with 4 games to gan, while 'uddersfield are 'harin' alang' behind us!
On the plus side wor goal difference iz 31 better than 'uddersfield's !  (in effect wor goal difference iz worth a point in itself!)
It meenz that we must lose 3 of wor last 4 games and 'uddersfield must win 3 oot of their last 5 to gan above us---highly unlikely---BUT still possible!


2nd HALF AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL


Next up iz 'Bent Nose McCarthy's Ipswich on Easter Munday, while 'uddersfield are away to Darbee Coonty and Brighton are at home to relegation threatened Wigan!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Dummett, Hayden (Colback 79), Lascelles, Mbemba, Shelvey, Richie (Yedlin 84), Mitrovic, Perez (Diame 90), Gouffran

Attendance: 52,301 (3,200 Leeedz) (Highest crowd of the season)   Average gate now 51,095

* 

THE TOON v LEEEDZ ** TOONEET!

Posted 'high noon bells' Good Friday 14th April 2017


TOON FANS CELEBRATE A 2-0 VICTORY AT ELLAND ROAD
ORLIER THIS SEASON! (SAME AGAIN PLEEEEZE!)


Toooneet we 'welcome'? Leeedz to SJP, az the final coontdoon begins!
Aall the othaa teams aroond us play before us (again!), so we will naa wot we have to de by kick off time at '7:45 bells'---WIN!

Not surprisingly the game iz a selloot with Leeedz takin' up their full allocation of 3,200 tickets, in wot shud be a 'white hot atmosphere'!

Dwight Gayle looks az though he will be oot for the rest of the season and 'Mitro' will undoubtedly 'fill in' for him?
However both Yedlin and Clark could retorn after an absence of 4 games!

Wor millionth spectator came through the tornstiles at the Burton game and with 52,000 guaranteed for tooneet and the last match v Barnsleee, anly wor home game v Preston Dead End iz not a selloot (so far!)
This meeenz that wor average leegue gates will exceed 51,000--a record for a club ootside the top flight this century.

We aalso hold the record for the 20th century az well, az ower 56,000 came through the tornstiles in 1948 az a 2nd Division club!---a 'world record' for a club ootside the top flight!
(Man U are 'next best' when they averaged 48,000 in the old 2nd Division in 1975)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---lets hope that this IZ a 'good Friday' and that we are still at least 10 points above thord place by '10 bells' tooneet?  

"VIRGIN ON THE RIDICULOUS!"

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 13th April 2017



"OH NO!--THE CREW ARE ON STRIKE AGAIN!"


Virgin Trains have annoonced that there will be a train strike on the 28th and 29th April!---The VERY DAYS we are travellin' to Cardiff and back by train!!!
They could have picked any days they liked, but it just HAD to be the days we are gannin'!
Like we've said in the past---
"NO ONE LIKES US!---THEY DONT CARE!"

IT'S A SELLOOOT!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 12th April 2017

THE BANDSTAND IN LEAZES PARK
WITH THE LEAZES END IN THE BACKGROOND

Wor forthcomin' home games v Leeedz on Good Friday and Barnsley (on the last day of the season) are now sold oot--az iz wor away game at 'Bent Nose McCarthy's Ipswich on Easter Munday

Tickets are still on sale for wor home game v Preston Dead End and the away game v 'The Taffy's of Cardiff'  

THE HILLSBOUROUGH HILLBILLIES 2 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:45am bells' Sunday 9th April 2017
Updated '11:45am bells' Munday (with pix)

SHELVEY FREE KICK (2nd half)

"WE ANLY NEED 8 POINTS!"

After 'uddersfield's defeat at Forest (2-0) and Readins humiliation at Norwich (7-1!) before wor game woz played, a victory at Sheff Wed would have aalmost guaranteed promotion back to the top flight 'gravy train'---BUT!---this IZ NUFC 'after aall' and we shot worsels in the foot with anly wor 2nd away leegue defeat this year, by puttin' in a dreadful performance!

It woz 0-0 at halftime but 'The Hillbillies' did have 3 good chances to score but blew it, while we were aaful!--apart from one effort by Jonjo Shelvey, when he lobbed a lang range shot from the halfway line which hit the bar!

We wornt so lucky in the 2nd period though and goals from Lees and fletcher in the 59th and 68th minutes of the game sealed wor fate
Jonjo Shelvey did pull a goal back in the 88th minute but it woz too little toooo late and the chance to gan 13 points clear of thord place woz gone!

On a brighter note, 'uddersfield can anly get a maximum of 18 points should they win aall of their remain' 6 games--which meeenz---that with a far superior goal difference to them, we need EIGHT points oot of the last 15 from 5 games to win promotion!---"WE SHALL SEE!"

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Dummett, Diame (Atsu 72), Lascelles, Mbemba, Shelvey, Perez, Gayle (Murphy 29), Richie (Mitrovic 79), Gouffran

Attendance 28,883 (3,100 Toon fans)  Sorves them right for givin' us a paltry allocation and tryin' to sell £42 tickets to their own fans, when the game woz live on the telly!  
When they played Leeedz the crowd woz ower 35,000 and they gave them ower 4,000 away tickets!---and!---charged them less than us to get in! <(No one likes us--do they?)
The capacity of Hillsborough iz just under 40,000!
(ie: 11,000 empty seats!)

*The pre match 'gargels' took place here!

THE HILLSBOROUGH HILLBILLIES v THE TOON ***TOMORROW TEATIME

Posted '1:20pm bells' Friday 7th April 2017

"42 quid---your havin' a laff!"

We heed for the hills of northern Sheffield tomorrow in anothaa 'must win' game and will have the backin' of 3,100 fans in 'The Upper Leppings Lane End' (that's aall the tickets they would give us!) (Leedz and Villa got 4,000!)

At an extortionate £42 to get in, which iz the highest price this season, we 'dearly' (sic!) hope that we can 'stuff them'---If any reason needs to be given to get oot of this division, then surely this iz it! (Mebeez Sheff Wed shud gan on the 'Rip Off Britain' TV series)

We are gannin by road this time az there iz a replacement bus sorvce back from York for 'line work' on the trains---so 'jam jar' it iz!

With Brighton playin' toneet and the othaa 'chasin' pack playin' before us tomorrow, we will naa by kick off time ('5:30 bells') just wot we have to de!---"WIN!"

A full match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!   

"QWAATAA OF A MILLION REASONS TO BELIEVE!!!!!!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 7th April 2017


"LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!"


Between 'high noon bells' yesterday and 'high noon bells' today 'The Geordie Times' passed the 250,000 mark for pageviews!!!!

This woz mainly due to a load of 'hits' from the UK and Israel and we thank each and every one of yoo for viewin' this fan site, which iz sometimes days behind on match reports etc, due to the fact that aa got to gan to work to orn money to watch The Toon etc!

The top 10 aalltime pageviews are az follows:

1 UK (Ing-er-land, Jockoland, Walez and Northin Ireland) 118,281
2 USA ******************************************35,461
3 Ukraine ****************************************19,771
4 Jawmany ***************************************16,958
5 Israel ******************************************11,374
6 Rushaa ******************************************7,293
7 (Lost in) France ***********************************4,625
8 (Mee old) China **********************************4,187
9 The Guinness Republic ****************************2,004
10 Spain ******************************************1,533

155 countries and territories have now visited this site--the last new one bein' Czechia (wherevaa that iz?) (156 if yoo include the planet MARS!)

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"