WOTFAD v THE TOON (part 2!) *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 22nd January 2016

In a previous life!: "HAVE WE NOT BEEN HERE BEFORE?---LIKE!"

It's a case of 'daja vu' on Saturday when we heed for "Landan Toon" once again.
We travel by cho choo train to King's Cross at the same time doon ('7am bells') and the same time back ('7pm bells') via the same route through mackemland  <(shut the curtains!) and monkeyhangerland, due to 'on gannin' line work on the East Coast main line, az we did a fortneet ago for wor FA Cup tie!

"NOW WHICH TICKET IZ IT, AGAIN?"

And of course we are gannin to the same place az well (Vicarage Road) via Euston station, az we did a fortneet ago and will 'ne doubt' be drinkin' in the same Wotfad pubs az well ('The Flag', 'The Lion', etc!)

Wot we divvint want however, iz the SAME RESULT! az a fortneet ago and can anly hope that we divvint play like we did in wor FA Cup horror when we lost 1-0!

We've played 'canny' of course in wor 2 home games since then and the arrival of Jonjo Shelvey haz been 'a breath of fresh air' az we try and dig worsels oot of the bottom 3! (once again!)
Aall 2,100 away tickets have been sold!

Sad stats: NUFC have anly had anly THREE goalscorers in total away from home this season, Mitrovic(2), Perez(2) and Cisse(1)!
That's a total of just FIVE goals in TEN away games that have been scored in that time, between them!
We have failed to score in SEVEN of those games and have taken just SEVEN points oot of a possible THORTY on the road! (2 wins, 1 draw and 7 defeats)

There iz still ne news on a much needed striker (see above stats!), az it's aall went quiet on the transfor front, with 22 days of 'the 31 day window' now gone!---Time iz runnin' oot!---FAST! 

A full 'Geordie Times' match and 'liquid lubrication location' report will appear here sometime on Sunday! 

TOON TRANSFOR ROOMAAAZ!

Posted '11:42am bells' Wednesday 20th January 2016

THE TRANSFOR WINDOW!

Roomaaz that we are aboot to sign Andros Townsend from Sporz are dein the roonds az we speak. Townsend haz featured just 3 times in the Premyaa Leegue this season--aall from the subs bench and we understand the winger iz keen to move on az he iz sick of playin' in Sporz U21 side where he haz played a number of times this season!--We will keep yoo posted! 

WBA striker Saido Berahino iz aalso on wor 'shoppin list' and haz been one of wor targets for a lang time. It's said we have put in a £15 million bid in the last few days!---again! we will keep yoo posted to any developments that may (or may not!) happen in the next few days!

NOT! THE TICKET!

Posted '10:22am bells' Munday 18th January 2016

£55 FOR THIS VIEW @ STAMFORD BRIDGE!

Tickets for wor leegue game at Wotfad on Saturday are £25 for adults, az are tickets for wor forthcomin' visit to Everton orly next month!

However!---az per usual the tickets for wor visit to Chelski on the 13th of next month are a whoppin' £55!---(az waz the price last season!)

That's £30 difference for a cr*p view from the corner bit of 'The Shed'
and with the train fare nearly £70 for 'pleb class' (and that's with a railcard where yoo get 33% off!) it's gannin to be an expensive day oot in "west Landan" for sure!
(PS: The train fare to Wotfad this Saturday iz 'just'? £56 and we are comin' back forst class!)  <("get the cucumber sarnies oot!")

CLIFFY RIP

Posted '1:00pm bells' Sunday 17th January 2016

It iz with great sadness that we have hord of the passin' of a Toon fan called 'Cliffy' aged just 57 who came from South Shields. It waz reported that he had a cardiac arrest after the Man U game on Tuesday neet and waz taken to the nearby RVI behind St James' Park where he sadly died.
'Cliffy' waz a regular at home and away games and the odd European trip and waz an 'eccentric' character to say the least who used to dye hiz hair jet black!

For example when NUFC played in a tournament in Dublin a few years ago it waz 'chuckin' it doon'!
There waz ne cover in the front seats at Lansdowne Road and we aall moved to the back of the stand where there waz shelter!---apart from 'Cliffy' that iz ---who refused  point blank to leave hiz allocated seat in row two and he got a reet soakin' az he sat on hiz own like a drowned rat az hiz hair dye started to run!--to great amusement from the Toon fans present!

RIP CLIFFY!

THE TOON 2 THE JELLIED EELS MOB 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 17th January 2016

PEREZ (at the back of the 'D') FIRES THE TOON INTO THE LEAD!
(Geordie Times excluuusive!)

"MORE OF THIS PLEEEEZE!"

£12 million buy Jonjo Shelvey had a fantastic game with hiz supurb passes for wor 2 goals, which gave us the 3 valuable points to take us oot of the relegation zone (for the time being at least!)

Perez missed a glorious chance in the 4th minute @ The Gallowgate End when hiz weak effort waz easily saved by Adrian in the West Ham goal.
However!--he made amends just 1 minute later with a fabulous strike from the edge of the box after bein' put through by Shelvey!

1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL
(View from Milburn Stand balcony row 2)

It waz soon 2-0 after 15 minutes when Shelvey hit a pinpoint 60 yards pass to Janmaat doon the wing---Janmaat then hit a pinpoint pass to Wijnaldum who fired home from inside the box.
A fabulous move and wor best of the season!

WIJNALDUM GOAL! (Anothaa excluuusive!)

It shud have been more by half time but missed chances by Mitrovic in particular kept the score at just 2-0!


It waz the same failings in the 2nd half with Mitrovic (again) and Wijnaldum missin' wot seemed like fairly easy chances to put the game to bed!---But this IZ NUFC and the fans song aboot Chancel Mbemba "Never givin' the ball away!" will have to be re-written az he 'gave the baall away' to Jelavic on the edge of the box!--- He then rounded Rob Elliot in the Toon goal to half the deficit after just 4 minutes of the restart!
Wor othaa new signin' Henri Saivet then came on in the 57th minute to replace Paul Dummett and he seemed to settle in well!

2nd HALF ACTION @ THE LEAZES END

Othaa chances for Mitrovic and Wijnaldum came to nowt and we somehow held on to take the 3 points after SEVEN minutes of 'Fergie time' waz played by the ref, before he brought the game to an end!

An entertainin' and nail-bitin' game combined!---More of this pleeeze and we will climb away from the abyss for certain!

Toon team: Elliot, Mbemba, Coloccini, Janmaat, Dummett (Saivet 57), Sissoko, Shelvey, Colback, Wijnaldum, Perez (Gouffran 80), Mitrovic (Lascelles 95)

Attendance: 50, 031 (3,150 unusually quiet West Ham fans in level 7 of The Leazes End!) *

  

THE TOON v THE JELLIED EELS MOB *** THIS AFTERNOON

Posted '9:55am bells' Saturday 16th January 2016

"Happy times!"

LAST SEASON @ SJP *** NUFC WON 2-0 (More of that  today---pleeeeze!)

Jonjo Shelvey and Henri Saivet are expected to make their Toon debut's this afternoon and we can anly hope that this helps us to win wor FIFTH home leegue game since the end of December 2014! (We beat Everton @ SJP on 28th December 2014 and have won just 4 home games since!!!)

One of the teams we did beat in that 4 games sequence stretchin' back ower a year, are wor opponents today 'The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham' on the last day of last season to stave off relegation!

Wor home record this season iz truly shockin' az well, with just TWO wins in the leegue oot of 11 played so far!--- and 3 points iz an absolute 'must' if we divvint want to be cast adrift in the bottom 3 hell-hole!
The 3-3 draw with Man U on Tuesday waz 'much better' az we fought back twice to take a valuable point (scroll doon page for a match report on that!)
Anothaa performance like that ---pleeeeeze!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---az per usual!

TYNE BRIDGE T SHIRTS *** ADVORTISEMENT

 
'GEORDIE TIMES' MEMORABILIA

ADULT SIZE

We've had so many requests aboot wor iconic? Tyne bridges logo, that we decided to get some quality 'Fruit of the Loom' T shirts printed with the '7 bridges logo' on the front, screen printed in white! 
(These are the 7 bridges that span the sacred River Tyne between The Toon and Gatesheed!---just in case yiz didn't naa!)

"Be part of the 'IN' crowd!"--------"Get your designer T shirt NOW!"


We have 50  for sale in various sizes from SMAALL to XL---aall in black! 


BAIRNS SIZES (SOLD OOT!) (made on request) 

(We intend to de bairns sizes az well on request, ages 1 to 6 years old and de them in 3 colours--Black, Blue and Pink <(for the gorls!)



Because of aall the logistics <(we naa aall the big words!) involved in sendin' them by post we have decided to sell them in person instead!


CLOSE UP VIEW OF LOGO (under copyright to Geordie Times)
(From top to bottom)
Redheugh bridge * King Edward bridge * QE 2 Metro bridge *
High Level bridge * Swing bridge * Tyne bridge * Millennium bridge 

Unfortunatly, some 'very nice person'? haz hacked into the e mail address we had planned to use, sendin' malicious viruses to try and knack wor computaa--so reluctantly we have had to withdraw the address until we can sort sommik else oot!

If yoo would like one of these iconic T shirts  pleeze 'click' and leave a message in the 'comments box' below (ne anonymous comments allowed) ---Aalso we will be in 'The Newcastle Arms' before the West Ham match tomorrow from 'high noon bells' til 12:30 and then 'The Bodega' til 1:30 and finally 'The Earl of Pitt Street' (in Pitt Street) near SJP from 1:45 bells onwards
Just ask who 'Fink' iz if yoo divvint naa me!

The price per T shirt iz £10 and they are made by a local supplier in the heart of The Toon!

 

THREE! CUP EXITS IN TWO! WEEKS

Posted '12:57pm bells' Friday 15th January 2016




THE ANLY 'SILVERWARE' WE WILL SEE THIS SEASON
(A TOON FANS 'NICKS' A TROPHY FROM THE WINDOWSILL
OF A PUB IN WOTFAD LAST WEEK!)

Wor U21s went oot of the 'U21 Premyaa Leegue Cup' last neet when we were beaten 4-3 by Everton @ Southport's Haig Avenue groond! 
Wor goals were scored by Riviere, Marveaux and Callum Roberts, who had equalised in the last minute to make it 3-3, anly for 'The Toffee Noses' to gan straight up the othaa end and score the winner!

The defeat follows on from wor U18s loss to AFC Wombledon in the FA Youth Cup on January 6th and of course the 'forst team' to Watfad in the FA Cup 3rd roond last Saturday!

Who needs silverware anyway!---it just clogs up the trophy cabinet!---DOESN'T IT!?





SOMEWHERE IN THE BOWELS OF ST. JAMES' PARK!

MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPIN' NEWS!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Thorsday 14th January 2016

Tooneet wor U21s travel to sunny? Southport where we will take on Everton's U21s @ Haig Avenue.
There are comebacks from injury for Marveaux, Riviere and Aarons, if yoo fancy deein' a bit of (mad-sad) Groundhoppin'?  <(and YES 'The mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here before --many moons ago when we played Liverpool resorves!) 
Kick off iz @ '7 bells'

THE TOON 3 VAN UNITED 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '12:22pm bells' Wednesday 13th January 2016

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

"IZ THIS THE TORNIN' POINT AT LAST!?"

We said in wor pre match build up that "Anythin' could happen!" az this IZ NUFC---and it DID INDEED!

Twice the Manc Muppeteers took the lead and twice we came back to deny them!

It didn't look 'ower clever' in the forst half az Van Gaal's Mob attacked the Gallowgate goal and went 1-0 up in the 8th minute through a Rooney penalty, after Mbemba waz harshly judged to have handled the baall in the box!---Janmaat then had a 'ligitimate' penalty appeal torned doon at The Leazes End before Lingard fired the visitors into a 2-0 lead in the 38th minute and aall looked lost!


Just after Man U's 2nd goal a banner waz unfurled @ The Gallowgate End which read
'Sports Direct Shame', in reference to the way workers are treated by the company!

Wijnaldum gave us hope just before the interval when volleeed home from a Mitrovic pass to half the deficit!

Just before the mid-point of the 2nd half we were back on level torms when Mitrovic waz pulled to the groond by Smalling and the ref pointed straight to the spot for wor forst penalty in ower a year!

Mitrovic grabbed the baall and wellied it into the net to send the
46,000 plus Toon fans in the crowd wild with delight!


2nd HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL


We went for the win after that but couldn't make the breakthrough and then disaster struck again when that 'thorn in wor side' Wayne Rooney hit an unstoppable shot into the roof of the Leazes net to send the 3,000 muppets into ecstasy az they mocked Alan Shearer, caallin' him "A sad Geordie b*stard!' -with a sh*t football team!"

Aall looked lost at this point! (10 mins left!)

Paul Dummett however, dumfounded them (and us!) in the very last minute of the game with a belter of a shot to beat De Gea in the Manc Muppets goal to lift the roof off the stadium and claim an unlikely precious point in the progress!

"Chants of " SHEARER!-SHEARER!" then rang oot from the home contingent az 'The 3,000 Muppeteers' (in tears!) sat in deathly silence in the away end!

Is THIS the tornin' point of wor season at last?--OR anothaa 'false dawn'?----we shall soon find oot on Saturday when we face 'The Jellied Eels Mob' at SJP, where wor new signings will (hopefully!) be on show!

Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat, Coloccini, Mbemba, Dummett, Sissoko, Colback (Gouffran 81), Tiote (Toney 85), Wijnaldum, Perez (De Jong 92), Mitrovic

Attendance: 49,673 (3,000 very quiet Muppets at the end!) *