"WE'LL DRINK A DRINK A DRINK TO LILLY THE PINK THE PINK THE PINK!"

Posted '12:40pm bells' Tuesday 16th Joon 2015

'The Geordie Times' haz just receeeved ecluuusive pix of wor new 'cup' 3rd(4th?) strip for the forecomin' season!---A natty PINK and black number which shud be popular with wor female fans for sure!
Ne release date for the new strip haz been annoonced but we will keep yoo posted when we find oot! 

TOP 20 NORTH EAST AVERAGE GATES 2014-2015

Posted '10:15am bells' Munday 15th Joon 2015



VIEW OF THE GALLOWGATE END OF ST JAMES' PARK
BUT FROM WHICH BOOZER WAZ THIS PHOTO TAKEN?
(ANSWER ON FRIDAY!)

Once again NUFC are top of the tree in the north east attendance leegue for last season!
The top 20 from The Premyaa Leegue doon to The Northern Leegue----are:!


1: THE TOON***50,359
2: The SMBs***43,157
3: The Smoggies***19,562
4: The Monkey Hangers***3,736
5: The Heedbangers***1,179
6: Darlo***1,038
7: Spennymoor Toon***542
8: Berwick Strangers***466
9: North Sheeldz***402
10: The Whitley Baywatchers***323
11: The Bishop from Auckland***241
12: The Consett Hillbillies: 225
13: The Pit Yaakers of Ashington: 223
14: The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston: 220
15: West Auckland Toon: 213
16: Marske Yinited***212
17: Shildin: 201
18: Gizboro Toon: 190
19: Morpeth Toon: 189
20: Durhim City: 153 

"ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY!"

Posted '10:37am bells' Sunday 14th Joon 2015

This mornin' @ 10:30am bells' 'The Geordie Times' past anothaa 'landmark'? for we have now had a grand total of 180,000 pageviews since we forst did this blog some 5 years ago!
Once again we must thank YOO wor loyal reeders for for loggin' into this site and a total of 152 countries and territories have now viewed it! (plus Mars!)

The top ten countries and territories are az follows:

1: UK (Ingerland, Scotland, Wales & N Ireland)  83,212
2: USA *****************************************28,618
3: UKRAINE ***********************************15,134
4: JAWMANY**********************************14,300
5: (Mee old) CHINA******************************4,023
6: ISRAEL**************************************3,453
7: RUSHAA*************************************3,380
8: FRANCE*************************************2,088
9: THE GUINNESS REPUBLIC***************** 1,292
10:TORKEY************************************1,074

It shud be noted that more than half of wor pageviews come from ootside of the UK*** a grand total of 96,788 in fact!
(includin' wor alien friends from Mars of course!)

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

"ONE MAN---MINUS DOG!"

Posted '2:25pm bells' Thorsday 11th Joon 2015

"IS THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

When Kevin Keegan, Bobby Robson and even Ruud Gullit were appointed az managers of NUFC, thoosands of fans torned up to greet them!
In complete contrast yesterday 'The Daily Mail' reported that anly "One man who didn't even have a dog with him!" greeted McClaren az he entered St James' Park!

Press release photos show him with the obligatory black n white scarf above hiz heed---but not one fan waz present to witness this! (The 'one man' must have went lookin' for hiz dog!)

"STONE ME!----IT'S A 'CARVE UP'!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 10th Joon 2015

"DEAR JOHN!---P*SS OFF!"

News that both John 'the pie' Carver and Steve Stone have faallin' on their sword comes az a relief rathaa than a suprize to us here at 'The Geordie Times'

'The Disastrous Duo' couldn't possibly continue could they?--Aa meen they took us from the safety of 'mid table mediocrity' to 'the relegation abyss' within the matter of 4 months--and 9 defeats in 10 games tells it's own sorry story!

Carver loves The Toon of course and bleeds 'black and white'--he must be devastated, but not suprized at the outcome of hiz disastrous tenure in charge and we 'wish him well' for the future! <(his CV certainly won't help him!)

'Brollyman McClaren' <(definatly NOT 'WOR' forst choice!) iz expected to be annoonced az wor next manager/heed coach sometime this afternoon and we will inform yoo, wor loyal reeders, of any developments az soon az we find oot! <("er!"-- it shud be noted that av got to gan to 'graft' at '3 bells' this afternoon, so any announcement after this will not be updated til tomorrow dinnatime!) <(remember wor motto?--"we bring aall the latest news forst hand, second!" (or iz it 'second hand, forst???) 

"FOR A FEW DOLLAR$ MORE!"

Posted '10:50am bells' Munday 8th Joon 2015

Prices have been released for wor forthcomin' 'Wot Made Milwaukee Famous Tour' of the U$A, for those of yoo who can put up with the hassle of numourous flights on the 10,750 mile roond trip and for those of yoo who have plenty of dollars in your 'piggy bank' and can afford to gan!?

Tue 14th July: Club Atlas @ Miller Park, Milwaukee
Tickets are priced @ 25 dollars upwards plus bookin' fee!
Contact Kelvin at the Brewers on 414.912.4658

Sat 18th July: Sacramento Republic @ Bonney Field, Sacramento
Tickets are priced @ 27 dollars 
Contact Justin on 916.307.6112

Tue 21st July: Portland Timbers '2' <(resorves!) @ Providence Park, Portland
Prices vary from 37 dollars to 46 dollars plus bookin' fee <(to watch their RESORVES!?)
Contact Pat Rice <(no! not THAT one!) on 503.553.5442

McCLAREN A RACIN' CERTAINTY!

Posted '11:11am bells' Saturday 6th Joon 2015

It iz now aalmost certain that 'The Wally with the Brolly' will be wor next manager/heed coach and we expect him to be appointed in the next few days!
It's interestin' to note that NUFC contacted Patrick Viera aboot the vacant managers job last week and he told them that HE wanted to pick any new players and receive a large transfer fund do do so!

He NEVAA received a retorn call!

(92% of Toon fans in a poll wanted HIM az wor new manager---'The Geordie Times' included!)

McClaren's record iz 'HIT' and 'MISS'--

'HIT'---He won the Dutch leegue with FC Twente in 2010 and of course (az 'the Smoggies' keep remindin' us!) the Leegue Cup with Boro in 2005

'MISS'---he waz sacked by Derby (2015), Forest (2011) ,Wolfsburg (2011), Boro (2006) and of course Ing-er-land! (2008)
He went back to Twente but couldn't repeat hiz title win again and waz subsequently sacked by them az well! (2013)

Hiz highest ever leegue position iz 7th for 'The Smoogies in 2005--hiz ANLY ever top ten finish in Ing-er-land!

In othaa news, we are playin York in a friendly on Wed 29th July---the same neet az the SMBs travel to 'Donny'!---Bet 'the Dibble' insist that one of the games iz moved to avoid clashes on the trains!

NUFC PRE-SEASON FIXTURES 2015-2016 ******** "WOT MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS TOUR!"

Updated 'high noon bells' Friday 5th Joon 2015

The latest list of forst team games (in gold text),  resorve U21 team games (in pink text) and junior U18 team games (in green text) <(green for 'green-horns'!) are listed below:

There iz some brilliant news for wor 'cousins' on the othaa side of 'the pond', for 'The Toon' are retornin' to the States once again to play 3 pre season games in mid July!

The games and venues are az follows:

Tuesday 14th July: v Club Atlas of Mexico @ Miller Park, Milwaukee @ '8 bells' local time (Atlas finished 3rd in the Mexican top flight and play in Guadalajara)

Saturday 18th July: v Sacramento Republic @ Bonney Field Stadium, Sacramento @ '8 bells' local time (Sacramento play in the 3rd tier of American futbaall)

Tuesday 21st July: v Portland Timbers 2 @ Providence Park, Portland @ '7:30 bells' local time (Portland aalso play in the 3rd tier)

It shud be noted that the '2' on the end of Portland Timbers indicates that we are facin' their RESORVE team and NOT their forst team! <(such iz the stature of NUFC in the USA!)

The last time we played in the States in 2011 we travelled 9,750 miles in total and the club said at the time: (Quote!)
"We have learned lessons from this tour and the distances involved and the next time we go to the USA we will probably play in just ONE part of the country!"

And the total distance to travel this time iz: 1,000 MILES MORE! @ 10,750! <(yi couldn't make it up!---could yi???)


Othaa fixtures so far conformed are:

Tue 7th July: U21s v Corby Toon @ Little Benton (6:30 bells)

Fri 10th July: v The Heedbangers @ Gatesheed Stadium (8:00 bells)

Sat 18th July: U21s v The Whitley Baywatchers @ Darsley Park (Ne kick off time yet or if it's BHD (Behind Closed Doors!?)

Sun 26th July: v Sheff U @ Bramall Lane (1:00 bells)

Wed 29th July: v York @ Bootham Crescent <(or whatevaa its caalled now?) (7:45 bells)

Sat 1st Aug: v The Borussia Munchin'-gladbachs of Jawmany @ St James' Park (3:00 bells)

Wor junior side are aalso in action between Sun 26th July and Fri 31st July in 'The Northern Ireland Milk Cup' which (beleeeve it or not!) iz bein' staged in---Northern Ireland!
(Fixures and venues to be conformed)

MORE PRE-SEASON FIX FOR YOUR DIARY

Posted '1:08 pm bells' Thorsday 4th Joon 2015

The Geordie Times lornz from wor intrepid reportaa 'Mal the Inglish Skool Teechaa' that 4 more friendlies have been added to the list:

Fri July 10th: The Heedbangers @ Gatesheed Stadium

Sun July 26th: Sheff U @ Bramall Lane

Wed July 29th: York @ Bootham Crescent (or whatevaa its called now?)

Sat Aug 1st: The Borussia Munchengladbachs of Jawmany @ St James' Park

Remember!---yoo read this forst in 'The Geordie Times' and NE WHERE ELSE!!!

SPECULATION FOR THE GEORDIE NATION!

Posted '1:36pm bells' Tuesday 2nd Joon 2015


SACKED BY DERBY, FOREST, BORO, WOLFSBURG, TWENTE and ING-ER-LAND!
"HE FITS THE BILL!"
 

Speculation haz reached fever pitch just who will be wor next manager/coach to fill the hot seat @ St James' Park <(we understand that they have heated seats in the home dugoot!)

'The Wally with the Brolly' and Patrick Vieira the are the 2 favourites to take ower the 'yes mans' role, with Michael Laudrup aalso in contention!

Wor own preference here @ 'The Geordie Times' iz Vieira, but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!

We will keep yoo posted az to any developments that may (or may not!) happen in the next few days <(again!---"divvint haad yi breath!")