P*SS POTTERS U21s 1 THE TOON U21s 2

Posted '2:10pm bells' Friday 14th November 2014

'GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE???*** RYAN TAYLOR'S FREE KICK WINNER!

Last neet in front of a live telly audience <(of hundreds?) The Toon resorves ran oot 2-1 winners @ The Britannia Stadium.

Aall the goals were scored by Ryan Taylor!

He put us in front on the half hour mark but blotted hiz copybook by inadvertently slicin' the baall into hiz own net just before the break!

He made amends however in added time in the forst half, when he fired a spectacular free kick ower the 'P*ss Potts' goalie to clinch hiz 'hat-trick'? and the victory, which put us top of the Resorve Leegue!

Attendance: Divvint naa?  (Sky telly audience: 100s!) 

"EEEEEE!"--- "THE RESORVES ARE ON THE TELLY!" *** "AND SO ARE THE SPARTANS AND THE HEEDBANGERS!"

Updated 'high noon bells' Thorsday 13th November 2014

With the forst team oot of action til a week on Saturday due to yet anothaa International break, we torn wor attention to wor U21 resorve side managed by 'Pedro' Beardsley.

They play away toooneet @ The Britannia Stadium, Stoke in wot iz now a live telly game!? >(beleeeve it or not!?) (SKY Sports 2 @ '7:30 bells')
This game waz switched from Moss Rose, Macclesfield because of this---thus denyin' 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' of anothaa obsolete venue to chalk off the list!

Then next Tuesday we take on Team Northumbria in The Northumberland Senior Cup @ Blue Flames, Benton (aka Whitley Park)---Anothaa game we expected to 'be switched' and take place @ Team Northumbria's groond next door!---but wasn't! <(thus denyin' us yet anothaa new venue!) <("Despicable!")

 
And taalkin of 'live telly', two more forst team game kick off times have been moved:
We now play Sooothampton on SKY @ SJP @ '5:30 bells' on Saturday 17th January <(that will pleeze their fans who will now be unable to get back home on the train!) and then @ 'Broken Nose Bruces's Tiger Lillys', who we now play away @ '12:45 bells' (SKY) on Saturday 31st January.

And then!----on FA Cup 2nd roond weekend, 'The Spartans of Blyth' take on 'The Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool' (Friday 5th December @ 7:55 bells' on 'The Beeb') And then!--- 2 days later on Sunday, 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' take on 'Warrington Wanabeez'? in a 'high noon bells' shoot oot @ The International Stadium on BT

In between this (by the way!) WE have a live telly game @ 12:45 bells' on the Saturday against 'The Pensioners of Chelski' (BT) @ SJP!

THE 11th HOUR of the 11th DAY of the 11th MONTH *** "WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 0 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:11am bells' Monday 10th November 2014

"FIVE IN A ROW!"

THE TOON (in blue & green) ATTACK 'THE SMETHWICK END'
DURIN' THE 2nd HALF (View from row AA seat 38)

Unbeleeevibleee we have now won five games 'on the spin' which iz in total contrast to the start of the season when we had the joint worst record in British leegue futbaall (with Bornley) with NE wins oot of SEVEN and sat firmly at the foot of the table just a few short weeks ago in September!

Against a lack lustre West Brom side we didn't get oot of the blocks straight away and the forst hour of the game waz like gannin back to the dark days of September!

VIEW OF THE 'TINY' MAIN STAND

Then bang on the stroke of half time up stepped Perez to back-heel the baall into the Baggie Troosers net to give us the lead!
To be honest, aa couldn't tell who'd scored or indeed that it waz a back-heel, az the goal waz scored at the far end of the pitch from us and it waz hard to make oot!
The tannoy announcer told us that number 17 had scored for The Toon, namely 'Perez' and it wasn't til later on that neet that we foond oot just how good the 'wondergoal' waz on 'Match of the Day'! <(mebeez we shud stop at home and watch it on the telly next time?) <(not!)

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE BORMINGHAM ROAD END' (1st HALF)

Wor view of wor 2nd goal however, waz in complete contrast, reet in front of us, when Janmaat crossed from the right and 'Fab' Coloccini waz there to heed a brilliant and unstoppable effort into the corner of the net, to send the 2,700 Toon faithful into raptures!

'The Baggies' (and their fans!) had given up by this time and it waz just a matter of windin' the clock doon to claim the 3 points and wor 5th victory in a row. By the time the match ended the home sections were virtually empty az we celebrated wildleee on the terraces!---From bottom to 8th top!---Wot a difference a month makes!---tooo true!

P45DEW?---We resorve wor judgement! <(wot fickle bustards we are!)

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini (Williamson 78), Dummett, Haidera, Abeid, Colback, Sissoko, Sammy Ameobi (Gouffran 78), Cabella (Ryan Taylor 82), Perez

Attendance: 26,476 (2,700 happy Toon fans!)

THE PRE-MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!
(WE CAN ANLY APOLOGISE FOR THE '2 INDIVIDUALS' WHO
REFUSED TO GET OOT OF THE WAY AND COMPLEETLEE SPOILT
'THE GEORDIE TIMES'Z' PHOTO OF THE BAR!)

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE GAME @ BLUE FLAMES!

Posted '2:07pm bells' Saturday 8th November 2014

'The Geordie Times' haz some very disappointin' news to tell yoo, wor loyal reeders and groundhoppers!

It iz aalmost certain that wor Northumberland Senior Cup tie against Team Northumbria WON'T be switched to the university sides groond (az waz expected!) but will be played @ 'Blue Flames' (aka Whitley Park) instead on Tuesday 18th November! (kick off '7:30 bells') 

This iz a huge 'body blow' to the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' coz we have of course been to 'Blue Flames' many times before, but have NEVAA seen an NUFC side play @ Coach Lane Sports Groond which iz just 'next door'!  < ("ONE DAY, MEBEEZ!?")

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS v THE TOON *** SUNDAY DINNATIME!

Updated '10:11am bells' Saturday 8th November 2014

ACTION FROM THE HAWTHORNS LAST JANUARY *** WE LOST 1-0
(TOON ARE IN YELLOW)

The fireworks are ower so it iz now 'wor turn' to see if we can 'rocket' up to the top half of the table and add to wor 'four in a row' winnin streak and beat 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom on Sunday, which iz a live telly game @ '1:30 bells'

Don't lets get carried away however, coz like aa said aboot the Man City away game last week, 'this iz NUFC and anything can happen'!

Aall 2,700 tickets for the away end have not suprizingly been sold and at the price of just £15 for big kids and just 'A FIVER' for sprogs and zimmerframeites <(and aa include meesel this time az concessions start at 60!) it's the bargain of the season!
(Contrast this with wor next away game after this against 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham, when aa must pay £43 for the 'priviledge'? of standin' near the corner flag behind the goal!)

Stat attack: Whereaz we haveent had a penalty for 30 games, WBA have had 2 in their last 4 games!
We are neck and neck with them in the table with 13 points each!
So far this season 'The Baggies' have 'bagged' just one win @ The Hawthorns in the Premyaa Leegue!

HISTORY: Wor 1st ever meetin' took place 116 years ago when NUFC won 3-0 @ St James' Park in front of 16,000 on 3rd December 1898 with Andy Aitkin, Jock Peddle and Joe Rogers scorin wor goals <(remember them?)
Away, wor 1st meetin' took place @ Stoney Lane on April Fools Day 1899 when we lost 2-0 in front of a 2,304 crowd
Leegue and Cups: Played 122, won 46, drawn 32, lost 44

Squad news: Papiss Cisse iz expected to play while Rolando Aaarons iz a doubt. Gabriel Obertan, Davide Santon and Seim De Jong are aall 'crocked'! 

FA YOUTH CUP **** "IT'S MILLWAALL AWAY!"

Posted '11:11pm bells' Friday 7th November 2014

"HERE!"

'Joyous news' haz just filtered through to 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' @ 'The Geordie Times', that we have drawn Millwaall away in the FA Youth Cup thord roond!---'The New Den' ne less!---a groond that we have nevaa ever been te before!

We are not 100% sure just when (or indeed for certain, just where!) the tie will definitely be played, but it must be played by 20th December.

We've done wor 'detective work' and Millwaall play Bolton at home in a Championship game on Friday 19th December (in wot we assume iz a live telly game!?) which leaves the followin' day 'free' for a match at 'The New Den'!

Millwaall have just started playin' their resorve games @ Princes Park, the home of Dartford FC and this could aalso be a possible venue for the tie! (anothaa groond that we that we have nevaa been te of course!)

"OR HERE!"

'The Geordie Times' will of course keep YOO wor loyal reeedership informed of any developments and will let yoo naa straight away the date and venue when we find oot!---watch this space az per usual!

FA YOUTH CUP DRAW *** TOOODAY!

Posted '11:10am bells' Friday 7th November 2014

The draw for the thord roond of the FA Youth Cup takes place today and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have the moothwaaterin prospect of quite a few new groonds to visit, shud the draw be 'kind to us!?

Theeze include: MK Dons, Wealdstone, Oxford United, Royston, Rochdale, Fleetwood, Shrewsbury, Colchester, AFC Wimbledon and Barnet's new groond!

Wor preferred option iz ROCHDALE or FLEETWOOD az theeeze are the anly groonds in Lancashire that we have never visited---and of course it isn't tooo far to travel to theeze places eethaa!

We awaited the draw with fingers 'bitten to the bone' and will bring yoo it az soon az we find oot!  

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE! *** TEAM NORTHUMBRIA v THE TOON U21s

Posted '11:02am bells' Monday 3rd November 2014

"YOUR STARTER FOR TEN!"

"THE TOON U21s UNVEIL THEIR NEW DEFENSIVE LINE UP?"
"WHO'S THE GADGIE IN THE TIE THOUGH?"

 

NUFC U21 resorve side have drawn university side Team Northumbria @ home in The Northumberland Senior Cup with the tie due to be played by the end of November!

Rumour haz it that the tie could??? be switched to Team Northumbria's ground which iz just roond the corner from wor Benton trainin' base!

A groond that The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers have nevaa seen The Toon play on!!!!----we can anly wait 'with baited breath' to see if that iz the case!? <(watch this space to find oot!)


Meeenwhile!: Tooneet the resorve U21 squad make a rare visit to HQ when they take on The Hazbeenz and Villians U21s in a '7 bells' start!

Admission iz via The East Stand az per usual in theeze games!

Updated Tuesday:

The Toon won 5-2 with goals from Callum Roberts, two from Adam Armstrong, Haris Vuckic and Dan Barlaser.

Attendance @ St James' Park: 576

JOHN 'THE UNDERTAKER' R.I.P.

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 2nd November 2014

The private funeral of John 'The Undertaker' finally took place on Friday, some three and a half months after flight MH17 waz shot doon ower the Ukraine.

The funeral waz kept quiet with no notices  in the local papers, so anly close friends and family knew about it!

Hiz funeral service waz held at The West Road Crematorium in The Toon and to throw the press, paparazzi and TV 'off the scent' someone told them that the funeral waz to be held at Saltwell Cremetorium in Gateshead! (John lived in the Deckham area of Gateshead)

It worked az thankfully to the relief of hiz family and friends no TV or paparazzi torned up!

Afterwards we aall went back to 'The Bobby Robson Suite' @ St James' Park for a few drinks in hiz memory!
R.I.P John --- You (and Liam) will never be forgotten by us!