Posted '1:10pm bells' Sunday 6th October 2013
Because of wor late arrival back from wor great win in Cardiff ('4 bells' this mornin'!) 'The Geordie Times' iz unable (incapable!) of bringin' yoo a match and 'gargel' report til later toneet, az av just had a few hours kip!----- "ZZZZZzzzz!!!!!"
It iz now time ('1:10pm bells'!) to gan oot and celebrate in 'The Toon' with a few 'liquid lubrications' in The Porcy and Hotspor etc. etc. etc!
Watch this space!
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Friday, 4 October 2013
THE 'RED' TAFFY NOSES v THE TOON ***SATURDAY AFTERNOON!
Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 4th October 2013
We must now torn wor attention to the lang trip to sooth Wales tomorrow when we face the 'Bluebirds' "Er! Sorry!" 'REDWINGS'! of Cardiff @ their nearly new stadium which iz handily built 'ower the road' from their old one! (Ninian Park)
Forst 'port o call' when we get there will be the Canton Rugby Club which iz within eezy 'hocklin' distance' of the groond!
They have a canny clubhoose and de canny scran az well, az we foond oot on wor previous visit here when we played 'The Taffy Noses' in a pre season friendly last year (we lost 4-1!)
We understand that 'The Toon' returned 500 tickets of wor 2,500 allocation and so we will have at least 1,000 more fans in Cardiff than we did @ Everton on Monday neet! <(wor match tickets have just arrived in the post az aa speak!---"horray!")
We start on the lang 320 mile drive at 'five bells' in the mornin' , collectin' 'Liam from the Lamp' and hiz sidekick 'Michael the Mag' from The Black Bull opposite St James Park and then 'onward to Howden to pick 'Tex Taylor' up.
We then must gan through the Tyne tunnel and doon the 'A19' past a certain sh*thole to pick up 3 members of 'The Peterlee Perpetrators' <(havvent got a clue wot 'Perpetrators' meenz---but it soonds good!) and shud arrive in 'Taffyland' at around 11:30ish? <(traffic jams excepted!)
A full match and 'hooch' report will be forthcomin' sometime on Sunday---of course!
 |
| "SANCTUARY!" |
We must now torn wor attention to the lang trip to sooth Wales tomorrow when we face the 'Bluebirds' "Er! Sorry!" 'REDWINGS'! of Cardiff @ their nearly new stadium which iz handily built 'ower the road' from their old one! (Ninian Park)
Forst 'port o call' when we get there will be the Canton Rugby Club which iz within eezy 'hocklin' distance' of the groond!
They have a canny clubhoose and de canny scran az well, az we foond oot on wor previous visit here when we played 'The Taffy Noses' in a pre season friendly last year (we lost 4-1!)
We understand that 'The Toon' returned 500 tickets of wor 2,500 allocation and so we will have at least 1,000 more fans in Cardiff than we did @ Everton on Monday neet! <(wor match tickets have just arrived in the post az aa speak!---"horray!")
We start on the lang 320 mile drive at 'five bells' in the mornin' , collectin' 'Liam from the Lamp' and hiz sidekick 'Michael the Mag' from The Black Bull opposite St James Park and then 'onward to Howden to pick 'Tex Taylor' up.
We then must gan through the Tyne tunnel and doon the 'A19' past a certain sh*thole to pick up 3 members of 'The Peterlee Perpetrators' <(havvent got a clue wot 'Perpetrators' meenz---but it soonds good!) and shud arrive in 'Taffyland' at around 11:30ish? <(traffic jams excepted!)
A full match and 'hooch' report will be forthcomin' sometime on Sunday---of course!
Thursday, 3 October 2013
S.O.S. TICKETS NOW ON SALE!
Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 3rd October 2013
Tickets for wor game against the SMBs @ The Stadium Of Sshh!! (Yee Naa Wot!) on Sunday October 27th ('1:30 bells' kick off) have just gone on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points! <(those of yoo who have been to at least 100 away games!)
Meeenwhile! wor tickets for wor game @ Cardiff in TWO DAYS TIME have STILL not arrived az I speak! <(start panickin'!)
 |
| "WELCOME TO sUND'LIND!" (PENNYWELL) |
Tickets for wor game against the SMBs @ The Stadium Of Sshh!! (Yee Naa Wot!) on Sunday October 27th ('1:30 bells' kick off) have just gone on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points! <(those of yoo who have been to at least 100 away games!)
Meeenwhile! wor tickets for wor game @ Cardiff in TWO DAYS TIME have STILL not arrived az I speak! <(start panickin'!)
Wednesday, 2 October 2013
PREMYAA LEEGUE AVERAGE GATES 2013-2014
Posted '2:22pm bells' Wednesday 2nd October 2013
Az ever! The Toon are in thord place in the average gates stakes!
1 The Cockney Reds of Salford***75,081
2 The Arse***60,025
3 THE TOON***49,182
4 The Blue Moonies***46,967
5 The Liverbirds***44,663
6 The Chelski Pensioners***41,503
7 SMBs***41,458
8 The Hazbeenz and Villians***37,905
9 Sporz***35,938
10 The Toffee Noses***35,313
11 The Jellied Eels Mob***34,958
12 Sooothampton***29,696
13 The RED Taffy Noses***27,409
14 The Canary Custard Crumbles***26,819
15 The P*ss Potts***25,502
16 The Wacko Jacko Jivers***24,734 (statue since removed!)
17 The Baggie Troosers***24,639
18 Broken Nose Bruce's Tiger Lillys***23,307
19 The Crystal Baalls***22,807
20 The Swan Lakers***20,732
 |
| ST JAMES' PARK***LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE MILBURN STAND |
Az ever! The Toon are in thord place in the average gates stakes!
1 The Cockney Reds of Salford***75,081
2 The Arse***60,025
3 THE TOON***49,182
4 The Blue Moonies***46,967
5 The Liverbirds***44,663
6 The Chelski Pensioners***41,503
7 SMBs***41,458
8 The Hazbeenz and Villians***37,905
9 Sporz***35,938
10 The Toffee Noses***35,313
11 The Jellied Eels Mob***34,958
12 Sooothampton***29,696
13 The RED Taffy Noses***27,409
14 The Canary Custard Crumbles***26,819
15 The P*ss Potts***25,502
16 The Wacko Jacko Jivers***24,734 (statue since removed!)
17 The Baggie Troosers***24,639
18 Broken Nose Bruce's Tiger Lillys***23,307
19 The Crystal Baalls***22,807
20 The Swan Lakers***20,732
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
THE TOFFEE NOSES 3 THE TOON 2 *** "EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!"
Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 1st October 2013
 |
| THE BACK PAGE OF 'THE RONNY GILL' YESTERDAY BEFORE THE MATCH! |
 |
| THE BACK PAGE OF 'THE RONNY GILL' TODAY AFTER THE MATCH! |
 |
| THE INSIDE BACK PAGE TODAY! |
 |
| 'ROONEY'S BAR' NAMED IN HONOUR OF WAYNE ROONEY 5 MINUTES WAALK FROM GOODISON PARK!
Az one of the above heedlines says!---this waz one of wor
worst forst half displays ever!---We were behind after just fower minutes when Lukaku slammed the baall past Tim Krul after some crazy defendin' by us!
The Toffee Noses doubled their lead in the 25th minute
when Barkley fired home after some more woeful defendin'! It waz soon 'game ower' in the 37th minute when Lukaku embarrassingly beat Coloccini and Tim Krul to put them 'three up' at the break!--- Wot would the 2nd half bring we thought az the fans sang: "We want our money back!" 
1st HALF ACTION---VIEW FROM ROW 9 OF THE AWAY SECTION
("CAN WE HAVE WOR MONEY BACK PLEEEZE?")
The concourse underneath the stand waz packed with
Toon fans havin' a 'gargel' and a 'scran' and many of them didn't reappear after the restart az they were totally p*ssed off'!
This waz a shame az within 5 minutes wor revival had
started when 'super sub' Yohan Cabaye fired an excellent shot in to reduce the deficit!
We forthaa reduced the scoreline with just a minute
remainin' when Loic Remy poked the baall home!
However that waz it!---and the truth iz that we got
off very lightly indeed az The Toffee Noses were streets aheed of us, especialy in the forst half!
The fact that anly around 1,000 Toon fans had
bothered to torn up (with many of them not reappearin' after the break az mentioned!) tells it's aan sorry tale aboot wor current plight!  Toon team : Krul, Debuchy, Coloccini, Yanga (Williamson 46), Santon, Tiote, Anita (Cisse 69), Ben Arfa (Cabaye 46), Sissoki, Remy, Gouffran Attendance: just 33,495 (just 1,000 Toon fans in aall!) |
Monday, 30 September 2013
THE TOFFEE NOSES v THE TOON ***TOONEET!
Updated '1:25pm bells' Monday 30th September 2013
We're off to 'Mickeymouseland' toneet for wor game against 'The Toffee Noses' @ Goodison Park!
Everton remain the anly unbeaten team in the Premyaa Leegue this season and so wor 'task' looks a 'forlorn one' on paper!
The home side remain unbeaten this year at home and havvent conceded a goal for 636 minutes!
A full strength Toon team iz expected to play with several who missed wor 2-0 League Cup win ower Leeds last Wednesday due to retorn to the fray!
Last season we drew 2-2 with Demba Ba gettin' both wor goals and we will be very happy if that scoreline iz repeated toneet by '10 bells' ('8 bells' kick off---live on SKY)
We leave @ '2 bells' for the trip across the Pennines and shud be there in time for a good 'gargel' in 'The Clock', which iz a 'sleazy dive bar' just doon the road from Goodison!
A compreehensive 'Geordie Times' match report will be forthcomin' sometime on Tuesday mornin'!---watch this space!
 |
| Action from wor game @ Goodison Park last season We drew 2-2 |
We're off to 'Mickeymouseland' toneet for wor game against 'The Toffee Noses' @ Goodison Park!
Everton remain the anly unbeaten team in the Premyaa Leegue this season and so wor 'task' looks a 'forlorn one' on paper!
The home side remain unbeaten this year at home and havvent conceded a goal for 636 minutes!
A full strength Toon team iz expected to play with several who missed wor 2-0 League Cup win ower Leeds last Wednesday due to retorn to the fray!
Last season we drew 2-2 with Demba Ba gettin' both wor goals and we will be very happy if that scoreline iz repeated toneet by '10 bells' ('8 bells' kick off---live on SKY)
We leave @ '2 bells' for the trip across the Pennines and shud be there in time for a good 'gargel' in 'The Clock', which iz a 'sleazy dive bar' just doon the road from Goodison!
A compreehensive 'Geordie Times' match report will be forthcomin' sometime on Tuesday mornin'!---watch this space!
Sunday, 29 September 2013
"THERE'S ANLY TWO BOBBY MONCUR'S!"
Posted '9:36am bells' Sunday 29th September 2013
With wor forst blank weekend for a while, aa took in Dunston's home game against Bishop Auckland @ Federation Park.
The score waz 1-1 after 90 minutes and then deep into stoppage time 'The Bishops' got the winner through a certain Robert Moncur who had aalso scored their forst goal!
We have to report that durin' the wild celebrations that followed @ 'The (now demolished) Dunston Rocket End', aa half expected him to produce the Fairs Cup from under hiz shirt and run around the pitch with it on a lap of honour!
Wishful thinkin' on my part!
Attendance: 229
 |
| "NO!---NOT THAT! BOBBY MONCUR!" |
With wor forst blank weekend for a while, aa took in Dunston's home game against Bishop Auckland @ Federation Park.
The score waz 1-1 after 90 minutes and then deep into stoppage time 'The Bishops' got the winner through a certain Robert Moncur who had aalso scored their forst goal!
We have to report that durin' the wild celebrations that followed @ 'The (now demolished) Dunston Rocket End', aa half expected him to produce the Fairs Cup from under hiz shirt and run around the pitch with it on a lap of honour!
Wishful thinkin' on my part!
Attendance: 229
Thursday, 26 September 2013
SURVIVAL OF THE FATTEST!
Posted '2:06pm bells' Thorsday 26th September 2013
The latest ramblings comin' from 'The Fat Controller' and hiz gang make grim readin' for the loyal fans!
A club statement says that both the Leegue Cup and FA Cup's are NOT a priority and that a 'top ten' finish iz the desired objective!
Wor European adventure last season aalso contributed to wor lowly leegue position!
In othaa words!---we don't really want to qualify for Europe and must make sure we don't finish in the top six eethaa! <(ne problem there--me finx, with wor paper thin squad!)
The board aalso said that the financial rewards for stayin' in the Premiership are so great, that nothin' else matters!
In othaa words!---we shud gan oot of the cups at the orliest opportunity and focus on wor leegue survival instead!
Ne domestic trophies for nearly SIXTY YEARS and coontin'!
On the cup draw which pairs us with a home tie against 'The Blue Moonies', (who we lost to 4-0 on the openin' day of the season) wor beleaguered 'puppet on a string' manager said: (and I quote!) "I was a 'little'(?) disappointed after we played Man City as so much as their result did not reflect what I felt that that night in terms of how good they were!"
In othaa words!---we may az well put up the white flag of surrender now and give them the tie!---after aall!--- survival in the Premyaa Leegue iz aall that matters! <(now where have aa hord that before!???)
 |
| "DON'T FORGET! ---IT'S MY TRAINSET AND I'll DO WHAT I LIKE!" |
The latest ramblings comin' from 'The Fat Controller' and hiz gang make grim readin' for the loyal fans!
A club statement says that both the Leegue Cup and FA Cup's are NOT a priority and that a 'top ten' finish iz the desired objective!
Wor European adventure last season aalso contributed to wor lowly leegue position!
In othaa words!---we don't really want to qualify for Europe and must make sure we don't finish in the top six eethaa! <(ne problem there--me finx, with wor paper thin squad!)
The board aalso said that the financial rewards for stayin' in the Premiership are so great, that nothin' else matters!
In othaa words!---we shud gan oot of the cups at the orliest opportunity and focus on wor leegue survival instead!
Ne domestic trophies for nearly SIXTY YEARS and coontin'!
On the cup draw which pairs us with a home tie against 'The Blue Moonies', (who we lost to 4-0 on the openin' day of the season) wor beleaguered 'puppet on a string' manager said: (and I quote!) "I was a 'little'(?) disappointed after we played Man City as so much as their result did not reflect what I felt that that night in terms of how good they were!"
In othaa words!---we may az well put up the white flag of surrender now and give them the tie!---after aall!--- survival in the Premyaa Leegue iz aall that matters! <(now where have aa hord that before!???)
THE TOON 2 THE YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS 0
Posted '10:18am bells' Thorsday 26th September 2013
A Demba Cisse heeder in the forst half and a magnificent Yohan Gouffran strike in the second sealed 'The Yorkshire Puddings' fate @ a noisy St James' Park last neet!
We started off with mixture of forst team and resorve team outfield players, with Tim Krul in goal instead of the expected resorve keeper Rob Elliot!
A massive dibble presence doon the Bigg Market and around the station area beforehand in anticipation of trouble from Leeds fans didn't materialise, but on the way to the match many of them were 'p*ssed oot of their brains' az they made their way to 'level 7 of The Leazes End'
A total of 6,000 of them had made the trip north past Scotch Corner and they gave their side fantastic support from start to finish with, (in the 11th minute) a 15 minute tribute to their (and our) former number 11 Gary Speed, who had helped them win the old Forst Division back in 1992 (their tribute to him waz warmly applauded by the Toon faithful!)
Really there waz anly one team in it az the Championship side were ne match for us, even with a weakened Toon team!
Cisse opened the scorin' on the half hour mark @ The Leazes End when he heeded in from a Sammy Ameobi cross to score hiz forst goal in ower a 1,000 minutes for us!
The second goal came in the 67th minute when again, Sammy Ameobi waz involved, when hiz pinpoint pass foond Gouffran just inside the box @ The Gallowgate End and with hiz back to goal he torned and fired in an unstoppable shot, which flew into the top corner of the Leeds goal to seal wor place in the last 16 of the competition!
After the match we heeded for The Newcastle Arms where we hord that we had drew 'The Blue Moonies of Manchester' at home in the next roond!---"bring 'em on!"
Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Gouffran (Vuckic 84), Anita (Gosling 80), Tiote, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, Cisse (Obertan 71)
Attendance: 36,220 <(looked more than that? --like?) (6,000 noisy tykes!)
A Demba Cisse heeder in the forst half and a magnificent Yohan Gouffran strike in the second sealed 'The Yorkshire Puddings' fate @ a noisy St James' Park last neet!
We started off with mixture of forst team and resorve team outfield players, with Tim Krul in goal instead of the expected resorve keeper Rob Elliot!
A massive dibble presence doon the Bigg Market and around the station area beforehand in anticipation of trouble from Leeds fans didn't materialise, but on the way to the match many of them were 'p*ssed oot of their brains' az they made their way to 'level 7 of The Leazes End'
A total of 6,000 of them had made the trip north past Scotch Corner and they gave their side fantastic support from start to finish with, (in the 11th minute) a 15 minute tribute to their (and our) former number 11 Gary Speed, who had helped them win the old Forst Division back in 1992 (their tribute to him waz warmly applauded by the Toon faithful!)
 |
| SOME OF THE LEEDS FANS (top level of stand) |
Really there waz anly one team in it az the Championship side were ne match for us, even with a weakened Toon team!
Cisse opened the scorin' on the half hour mark @ The Leazes End when he heeded in from a Sammy Ameobi cross to score hiz forst goal in ower a 1,000 minutes for us!
The second goal came in the 67th minute when again, Sammy Ameobi waz involved, when hiz pinpoint pass foond Gouffran just inside the box @ The Gallowgate End and with hiz back to goal he torned and fired in an unstoppable shot, which flew into the top corner of the Leeds goal to seal wor place in the last 16 of the competition!
After the match we heeded for The Newcastle Arms where we hord that we had drew 'The Blue Moonies of Manchester' at home in the next roond!---"bring 'em on!"
Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Gouffran (Vuckic 84), Anita (Gosling 80), Tiote, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, Cisse (Obertan 71)
Attendance: 36,220 <(looked more than that? --like?) (6,000 noisy tykes!)
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
THE TOON v THE WHITE ROSIES! ***TOONEET @ '7:45 BELLS'!
Posted '2:51pm bells' Wednesday 25th September 2013
News that resorve strikers Sammy Ameobi and Paul Dummett will lead the line in toneets Leegue Cup tie @ St James' conforms the seriousness that we are takin' this competition!
A crowd exceedin' 30,000 iz expected, which will include up to 6,000 of the notorious 'White Rosies' <(The Yorkshire coonty emblem) who will ne doubt be tryin' to run rampage through wor city centre!
However! @ 'high noon bells' aall waz quiet on the 'Westgate Road' with not one Leeds fan spotted anywhere!
Extra time and penalties will take place shud the game end in a stalemate!
'I Beg Your Pardew' says he would like a Wembley trip for some silverware, but if we play wor '2nd string' toneet then yoo may az well forget it mate!
A full match report will of course appear here in due course!
News that resorve strikers Sammy Ameobi and Paul Dummett will lead the line in toneets Leegue Cup tie @ St James' conforms the seriousness that we are takin' this competition!
A crowd exceedin' 30,000 iz expected, which will include up to 6,000 of the notorious 'White Rosies' <(The Yorkshire coonty emblem) who will ne doubt be tryin' to run rampage through wor city centre!
However! @ 'high noon bells' aall waz quiet on the 'Westgate Road' with not one Leeds fan spotted anywhere!
Extra time and penalties will take place shud the game end in a stalemate!
'I Beg Your Pardew' says he would like a Wembley trip for some silverware, but if we play wor '2nd string' toneet then yoo may az well forget it mate!
A full match report will of course appear here in due course!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)