2013-2014 FORST TEAM PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES LATEST NEWS! ("MAMA WE'RE ALL CRAZY NOW!")

Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuesday 11th Joon 2013


"THE 'MOTHER' OF AALL GROONDS!"

Yet anothaa pre season cross border friendly haz been mentioned, and again it's at a groond we've never ever been te before!
Fir Park, Motherwell haz been added to the 'probable list' az they have advertised a game against us on July 16th with a '7 bells' kick off time!?

It's enough to send yoo crazy, Mama!---and alang with the proposed friendly at St Mirren, this meens that TWO new Scottish Leegue groonds could/will be added to the list!

Wot we naa so far, fact OR fiction?
(TBC=To Be Conformed)

July
Tuesday 16th: Motherwell away?
Tuesday 30th: St Mirren away?
TBC: Rangers away?
TBC: Blackpool away?
TBC: 2 games in the Algarve, Portugal?

Any forthaa news on the above games we will of course be posted asap!

For a 'conformed' list of the Toon Under 17s fixtures in wor tour of Northern Ireland at the end of July---scroll doon the page

FORST TEAM PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2013-2014 ***LATEST RUMOURS! ("SAINTS ALIVE!")

Updated '2:05pm bells' Monday 10th Joon 2013


ST. MIRREN PARK ***"POSSIBLE NEW GROOND!?"


Anothaa forst team friendly on the othaa side of Hadrians Waall haz been mentioned alang with a proposed friendly @ Rangers.
Paisley side St Mirren, who had several Toon players on loan last season are mooted az possible opponents, and Tuesday July 30th haz been pencilled in az a possible date!<(if this iz so, then it will 'clash' with the Under 17s who are playin' in Northern Ireland on the same day!)

NUFC have yet to conform this game <(az usual!) and wethaa we send  the forst team or a resorve team squad up to Jockoland, iz open to speculation, but the game now looks likely to take place!

This iz 'mooth-waaterin' news' for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', az St Mirren's new groond iz a one we've never visited before! <(Fingers & toes crossed that it gans aheed!)

Trips to Blackpool, Portugal, plus othaa games in Europe have aalso been mentioned but nothin' haz been cast in stone yet!

The tour of Sooth Africa looks like it's been consigned to the dustbin for the second year runnin', by the way!

For news of wor Under 17s tour of Northern Ireland, 'scroll doon the page'!

BIG BILLY "DAFT AZ A BRUSH!"*** RIP! ***'FAIRS CUP GUS'***RIP!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 7th Joon 2013

Obituaries

Sad news reaches uz through the grapevine of the death of a Toon fan caalled Big Billy Robinson who hailed from Lobley Hill!

Billy who waz larger than life and az "daft az a brush", went with me to several away games in the 1970's alang with hiz sidekick 'Punter the Hunter'!

Billy once sat on the bonnet of mee car az we drove slowly through very thick fog on the way back from Liverpool one day, with hiz hand on hiz foreheed az he gave me frantic directions, to stop me runnin off the road! (yi could anly see aboot six feet in front!)

It waz hilarious az we drove ower the 'A66' cross Pennine route with Billy shoutin' and baallin instructions az he peered into the 'pea-souper'!

We were later stopped by some traffic 'Dibbles' near Scotch Corner and aa waz given the breatherlizer az Billy ranted and raved in the backgroond!
Aa passed the test and we were allowed to carry on wor way!

Anothaa fan who sadly died after the Arsenal game caalled 'Gus', waz a regular on wor Fairs Cup  'jaunts' in the 1960s and who a'd had a (few!)drink with in Bordeaux centre, before wor Europa League game last season!

Both will be sadly missed

RIP  Billy and Gus  

"SIXTY SIX!***SIXTY SIX!***SIX!"---ON THE SIXTH OF THE SIXTH @ SIX O' SIX!!!!!"

Posted '12:55pm bells' Friday 7th Joon 2013


"EURO MILLIONS HERE WE COME!"

"BELIEVE IT OR NOT!?"

Yesterday, 'The Geordie Times' reached anothaa mind bogglin' 'milestone' <(or shud that read 'millstone'?) when we clocked up 'hit number'---wait for it!--- SIX*SIX*SIX*SIX*SIX! (66,666th!) and are now two thords of the way to 'the holy grail' ? of 100,000 aall-time pageviews!

The most amazin' thing aboot this iz that, that total waz reached at approximately six minutes past six last neet, which of course waz the sixth day of the sixth month!!!!

Aa waz at 'graft' when this amazin' coincidence happened last neet and @ exactly 'six bells' we had wor 66,665th hit.
10 hits were recieved in the next hour, at an average of one every SIX minutes, meanin' that wor 66,666th hit probably happened at SIX minutes past the hour!

A'M NOW GANNIN' TO GET 'WOR LASS' TO PUT THE EURO MILLIONS LOTTERY ON TOMORROW, FOR CERTAIN! (we normally divvint bothaa!)

The 'top ten' countries, territories and planets to view us haz now reached a grand total of 138 (139 includin' Mars!)

The Top Ten
1 UK***34,233
2 USA***10,624
3 Ukraine***3,183
4 China***1,680
5 Jawmany***1,368
6 The Guinness Republic***980
7 Rushaa***876
8 Spain***792
9 Greece***680
10 France***475

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE---MAAN!"


PS: WE WILL OF COURSE LET YOO KNOW IF WE WON THE 'JACKPOT!'                         ---WATCH THIS SPACE!!!

PS: WE ACTUALLY GOT SIX NUMBERS!!!
UNFORTUNATELEEE!--THEY WERE ON TWO! LINES!

PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2013-2014 ***SOME NEWS AT LAST! ("LET'S 'MILK IT'!")

Posted '1:25pm bells' Wednesday 5th Joon 2013


COLRAINE SHOWGROUNDS
("NEW GROOND!***NEW GROOND!")


Although we still have ne concrete news of forthcomin' forst team pre season friendlies, we DE! have some times, dates AND venues for wor Under 17s, who are playin in the annual 'Northern Ireland Milk Cup' at the back end of next month!

Mon 29th July '3:30 bells'
Toon U17s v O'Higgins U17s of Chile @ Colraine Showgrounds

Tue 30th July '8:00 bells'
Toon U17s v County Armargh U17s @ Ballymena Showgrounds

Wed 31st July '7 bells'
Toon U17s v The Liverbirds U17s @ Riada Stadium, Ballymoney

IF? we make the knockoot stage, we will be playin' again on Thu 1st August and Fri 2nd August at venues to be conformed!

Any news of forst team/resorve team fixtures, will of course, be brought to yoo, wor loyal reeeders az soon az we find oot!

2013-2014 PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES ***LATEST RUMOURS!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Tuesday 4th Joon 2013

An away friendly against Rangers haz now been bandied aboot for pre season, (alang with the visit to Blackpool Tower!), but the proposed tour of Sooth Africa looks like it will bite the dust once again!?

So divvint pack your safari shorts just yet and 'dig your tartan kilt oot of the warbrobe instead!

Nothin'!---az usual haz been conformed from NUFC and we can anly wait and speculate, just where we will be gannin'!?

Aalso mentioned iz a trip to Portugal for two games against unspesified team at unspesified venues! <(so be ready to pack your sun tan lotion az well!)

Wot we naa so far:
Forst team:
Blackpool friendly?
Rangers friendly?
Portugal friendleeez??
Sooth African tour???

SO! yoo can start bookin' your trips now!---Thanx to 'The Geordie Times' of course!

PS: The Under 17's trip to Northern Ireland at the end of July, STILL gans aheed az far az we naa, but again, ne venues or match dates have been released yet?< (Az per usual, just to make it just a bit harder for the dedicated 'Toonhoppers' to organise anythin'!)

WORLD TOP TEN AVERAGE LEAGUE GATES***2012-2013

Updated '9:30am bells' Sunday 2nd Joon 2013

'The Geordie Times' can exclusivleee reveal that The Toon are STILL in TENTH position in the European average gates league despite wor poor showin' in the Premya Leegue (we were 14th best supported last season!)
Az clubs from Europe are the best supported in the world, it meeenz that we are aalso tenth best supported club in the univorse az well!!!
The latest top ten average league gates aroond the world are az follows: (or at least in Spain, Jawmany, Holland and England!) 

Borussia Dortmund have taken ower top spot from Barcelona since we last updated this page in January 2013 and they drop doon to thord place behind 'The Cockney Reds'  


1 Borussia Dortmund***80,520
2 The Cockney Reds of Salford***75,529
3 Barcelona***73,8644 
4 Real Madrid***71,555
5 Bayern Munich***71,000
6 Shalke 04***61,076
7 The Arse***60,079
8 Hamburg***52,916
9 Ajax****51,037
10 THE TOON***50,517

*The latest 'Premier League' and the 'top 20 north east average gates' can aalso be viewed in the toolbar @ the top of this page ---just 'click' onto it and 'gan'!

Tomorrow 'The Geordie Times' will publish the complete attendance records of The Toon and the SMBs, gannin back 120 years!
Who do YEE think iz the best supported of aall time???---yi'll just have to wait and see!

NORTH EAST ENGLAND TOP 20 SUPPORTED CLUBS 2012-2013

Updated '11:00am bells' Saturday 1st Joon 2013

The final list of gates of the 'Top 20' supported clubs in the north east for season 2012-2013 are az follows! (average leegue gates) compiled by 'The Geordie Times' "statitition on a mission"!


 ST JAMES' PARK***THE HOME OF THE NORTH EAST'S
BEST SUPPORTED CLUB FOR THE 13th SEASON IN A ROW!
(The Gallowgate End)

1 The Toon****50,517
2 The SMBs----40,544
3 The Smoggies----16,207
4 The Monkey Hangers****3,613
5 Darlo****1,319''
6 Berwick Strangers****917
7 Gatesheed Heed Bangers****618
8 Spenny****404
9 Whitley Baywatchers****368
10= The Spartans of Blyth****326
10= Bishops****326
12 Pit Yakkers from Ashington****242
13 Marske****215
14 The Bad Blue Boys from Dunston****197
15 West Auckland Toon****195
16 Guisborough Toon****193
17 Shildon****188
18 Aycliffe****170
19 Billy Toon****168
20 Sooth Shields****164



(Can aallso be viewed in the tool-bar @ the top of the page!)

Tomorrow (Sunday)  'The Geordie Times' will publish the top ten average attendances in the world!
ARE NUFC in the top ten???---Yi'll just have to wait and see! (watch this space!)

"THE RECURIN' TALE OF THE DONKEY, THE CARROT AND THE STICK!" ***"OH NO! ***NOT AGAIN!"

Posted '10:30pm bells' Friday 31st May 2013

"MMM!"---"THAT CARROT
DOESN'T LOOK VERY BIG!"

Well!---the 'madness' haz started aalready, hasn't it?-----Papiss Demba Cisse's agent haz apparentleee been 'toutin' wor centre forward aroond Europe, claimin' that wor Europa League opponents from last season, 'The Anzi Makhackems' from the Ukraine are after him and a £15 million poond price tag iz mentioned!

He aalso states that:  "Russian clubs have also shown interest in Papiss, but I don't want to name, names, as this would not be a correct step for me!" <(if yoo believe that then yoo'll believe anything!)

We at 'The Geordie Times' think however, that 'The Fat Controller' will want a much bigger 'carrot' than this to part with one of the few 'star assets' we have left for sale!

Wor manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' didn't help things the othaa week by declarin' to the world: "We can't do anything to stop our players being sold if 'the price is right'!"

And this from a club that haz 50,000 average gates and iz the 3rd best supported in Britain and in the 'top 10' in Europe and the world!

If we sell wot few 'assets' we have left, then next season <(like last!) will yet again fill us with absolute dread! and a repeat of the 2009 'nightmare' iz a distinct possibility!---Will 'The Fat Controller' never ever learn?------HELP!

OUT OF AFRICA!***AGAIN!???

Posted '9:10am bells' Friday 31st May 2013


WE MIGHT BE SEEIN' SOME OF THESE NEXT MONTH!
(OR NOT!---AZ THE CASE MAY BE!?)

Ubeleeevibleee!---wor proposed tournament in Cape Toon, Sooth Africa next month iz in doubt for the 2nd year in a row, az one of the teams due to take part, namely, 'The Toffee Noses' of Everton have pulled the plug and are gannin' on a tour of the USA instead!

The Wacko Jacko Jivers' of Fulham who were aalso due to play in a seperate tournament in Bloefontein<(hope av spelt that reet?), have pulled oot because of the state of the pitches and trainin' facilities!

The anly othaa English club who will definateleee be playin' there are 'The Blue Moonies' of Manchester, but their opponents are both Sooth African sides!

'The Geordie Times' will (of course!) bring yoo any news az soon az we find oot and yoo will get the latest 'info', 'forst hand, second', or 'second hand forst'!<(if yi see warra meeen?)