BENFICA HOME AND AWAY TICKET SALES!

Posted '6:00pm bells' Friday 22nd March 2013

Tickets for both wor home game @ St James' and away game @ the REAL Stadium of Light against Benfica in the qwaata finals of the Europaa Leegue are now on sale to season ticket holders.

The away tickets are priced @ £26 through a dedicated online form and we understand that we have been allocated 5,000 tickets!
Zero loyalty points required! (Anly ONE ticket per season ticket application!)

Home tickets are priced from £5 for sprogs and zimmerframeites to £15 for ordinary 'plebs' seats and £20 for Platinum Club seats!

BLANKETY BLANK AGAIN!

Updated '11:30am bells' Friday 22nd March 2013

With yet anotha blank weekend in the Premyaa League due to those players on international duties (Rio Ferdinand exepted!) we find worsels with ne games to gan te once again!
Because of the freezin' conditions, plus rain and snow and god naaz wot else forecast ower the weekend?, it looks az though the local non leegue scene will be virtually wiped oot az well!

There IZ a game this mornin' @ Villa's Bodymoor Heath Trainin' Groond where wor U18s are in action against Villa's equivalent @ '11 bells'!
However!---heavy snow iz forecast and the game could be postponed at any moment!

'The mad-sad groundhoppers' were to be represented at this game (*but NOT me az av got ti gan to graft!), in the shape of 'The Caped Crusader' and 'Liam from the Lamp'<(that's the 'Big Lamp' on Westgate Road!) and they were due to set off @ '7 bells' for the Midlands!
HOWEVER!---'Liam from the Lamp' haz just contacted 'The Geordie Times' and haz told us that they HAVVENT travelled az the wetha forcast iz bad!<(bloody part timers!)

IF the game DOES gan aheed, we will of course bring yoo the result later today!

Then on Monday @'1:00 bells' the resorve U21s travel to Norwich's Trainin' groond to play their resorves and aa hope? to make this one instead az it ISN'T behind closed doors!<(wetha dependin'!)

*Mee policy on groondhoppin to trainin' groonds iz that aa can de them anytime in the future, for example, and they arnt a priority!<(unless the home team are to move somewhere else, forcin' me to 'de it' before it's too late!)

Updated '5:30pm bells'

The resorve Under 21s DID play after aall and beat 'The Hazbeens and Villians resorves 2-1 with wor goals comin' from Callum Roberts and Greg Olley! 

"THERE'S ANLY ONE STEVIE HARPER!"

Posted '3:25pm bells' Thorsday 21st March 2013

News that Stevie Harper iz to quit NUFC after a magnificent 20 years goalkeepin' stint iz indeed sad news for aall Toon fans.

Stevie iz a loyal servant to the club and haz never complained aboot bein' 2nd choice to Shay Given and then Tim Krul. Indeed Rob Elliot haz now owertaken him to become wor 2nd choice keeper and at 38 we believe that he still haz a few years left in him!

He iz the anly Toon player to feature in aall wor Premyaa Leegue seasons since 1993 az an 18 year old rookie!

In total he haz played in 155 Leegue games, plus 22 appearences in the FA and Leegue Cups and 20 in Europe, givin' him a grand total of 197 games under hiz belt!  
We @ 'The Geordie Times' wish him well for the future!

"THERE'S ANLY ONE STEVIE HARPER!"

WOT THE PAPERS SAY!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Wednesday 20th March 2013

In the aftermath of 'Callous' McManaman's horror challenge on Massidio Haidara the front page of todays 'Ronny-Gill' and the back pages of 'The Daily Mail' SEZ IT AALL! 

THE BLUE MOONIES AWAY ***SOLD OOT AALREADY!

Posted '10:00am bells' Wednesday 20th March 2013

News that wor allocation of £49 tickets for wor away game @ The City of Mancs Stadium a week on Saturday have now sold oot!

Wor suspicion iz that we, yet again, have taken wor MINIMUM allocation az haz happened previously this season and that we will have just 2,000 in the lower tier of seats in The Sooth Stand. 
We suspect that we HAVENT  taken the 2,000 tickets available in the top tier behind the goal!<(we have in previous seasons!)

If we can sell 5,000 tickets for Wigan for a Sunday televised game<(Wigan allocate the whole end to away fans, whether you sell them or not!) then it's reasonable to assume that we could sell 4,000 for a game with a Saturday non televised '3 bells' kick off in the same area!

Once again we suspect that wor own club haz let us doon badly!<(we shall see!)

THE F.A.!*****NOT FIT FOR PORPOISE! ***A RECTROSPECTIVE OPINION!

Posted '9:30pm bells' Tuesday 19th March 2013

Followin' the FA's decision today NOT to charge Callum McManaman with ANY offence after hiz disgraceful 'leg breakin' style' tackle on Massadio Haidrara durin' the Toon's game @ Wigan and the the disgraceful decision TO charge Toon coach John Carver for a mere VERBAL attack on McManaman at the half time interval, for the 'said' tackle, WE @ 'The Geordie Times' can anly come to ONE logical conclusion!

"THE  F.A.!"

"NOT FIT FOR PORPOISE!"  

THE TOON v THE SMBs ***HIGH NOON SHOOTOUT AGAIN!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 19th March 2013

Az expected the derby game against the SMBs haz been moved for the THORD time because of wor European commitments against Benfica&lt;("Er!"-"That's-the club who play in the 'propaa' Stadium of Light'!") and the game will now take place @ 'high noon bells' on Sunday 14th April @ St James Park, much to the annoyance of thoze who live 12 miles sooth of the Tyne!
"Ha! Ha!"

THREE BLIND MICE!

Posted '9:50am bells' Tuesday 19th March 2013


MARK HALSEY (centre of picture)
WITH HIZ TWO ASSISTANTS!)

Followin' the aftermath of the horrendous high knee tackle by 'Callous' McManaman which could have ended Massidio Haidara's career at Wigan the referee Mark Halsey claimed that he (and hiz two linesmen!) DIDN'T see it, despite bein' close to the incident!

He (and hiz two linesmen!), then claimed that deep into the 2nd half, he (or they) DIDN'T see a Shola effort come off the Wigan goalie and he gave a goal kick instead of a corner to us!

The baall from the goal kick then ended up at wor end of the field, which resulted in a blatent hand baall by a Wigan player, which, YET AGAIN! he claimed NOT to see (or indeed did hiz assistants, once more!) which resulted in the winnin' goal for them!

Can we respectevlee request that 'THE THREE BLIND MICE' of Halsey and hiz two linesmen get themsels off to SAVERSPECS forthwith for a comprehensive eye test!

We then had 'The Blue Wigs' manager Martinez ridiculouslee claimin' that he DIDN'T see the Haidara incident? and in fact that McManaman wazn't like that<("OH YES HE IZ!")

The Wigan owner Dave Whelan (who MUST have had tooo many 'G&T's before the game!) then butted in and said that in hiz opinion it waz A FAIR TACKLE! and that McManaman waz a 'nice lad reeely'!<("OH NO ISN'T!")

Me finx that aall FIVE of them shud gan to SAVERSPECS together!

If Mcmanaman HAD been sent off, then surelee we would have won the game and been TWELVE points clear of danger.
Instead we find worsels just SIX above 'the abyss' thanx to THREE horrendous 'blind mice' errors by the officials!

Thankfully Haidara's leg wasn't broken, but he haz (not suprizingly) suffered severve knee ligament damage and bruisin' and iz likely to be oot for a very lang time! 

PS: former ref Graham Poll reckons that Halsey shud 'pack in refereein' forthwith after this performance!<(I naa of 5,000 people who were in the visitors end @ Wigan, who will heartily agree with him!)

THE BLUE WIGS 2 THE TOON 1

Posted '8:35am bells' Monday 18th March 2013

THE TOON (in lime green) ATTACK THE BLUE WIGS
GOAL IN THE 2nd HALF (view from row 'K')

Within the last week we have won two games in dramatic style in the last minutes of games but this time the boot<(or shud taht be 'hand'?) waz on the otha 'foot' when The Blue Wigs grabbed a last minute winner in controversial fashion!

The main taalkin point of the match of course waz the absolutely horrendous 'leg break' tackle on Massadio Haidera by Wigan's Callum McManaman in the forst half!
He wasn't even booked by blind referee Halsey and after lenghthy treatment Haidara waz stretchered off with a suspected broken leg!
And no!--we didnt even get a free kick from this and there waz fury at half time az coach John Carver tried to 'get at' McManaman az the players left the pitch!
In between aall this the home side had taken the lead when a defensive error by Santon gave Beausejour the simplest of chances to poke the baall into the net!


ACTION FROM THE FAR END IN THE 1st HALF

The equaliser came in the 72nd minute when Santon made amends for hiz forst half error when he waz put through and he placed his shot nicely into the right hand corner of the net to send the 5,000 Toon fans behind that goal wild!

It wasnt to be wor day though and a blatent hand baall at the far end from us from a Wigan corner in the 90th minute of the game, saw the baall drop to Kone's feet and he had the simple task of stabbin' the baall home to break wor hearts!---and send us to within six points of 'the abyss'!---we played in wor horrendous lime green 'hi viz' strip az well---it just wasnt wor day!

Toon team: Elliot, Debuchy <(Haidera 13)<(Perch 26), Steve Taylor, Yanga, Santon, Gutierrez, Tiote, Marveaux, Sissoko, Gouffran (Shola Ameobi 67), Cisse

Attendance: 22,297 (highest of season) (5,000 very angry Toon fans!) 

THE BLUE WIGS v THE TOON ***THIS AFTERNOOOON!

Posted '7:40am bells' Sunday 17th March 2013

We must now torn wor attention away from wor Europaa Leegue exploits for a couple of weeks and concentrate on wor Leegue form, when today @ '4:00 bells' we take on The Blue Wigs' @ The JJB Stadium<(it's origional name)

ACTION FROM WOR GAME @ THE JJB
LAST SEASON (WE ARE IN ORANGE)
(WE LOST 4-0!)

We are still not mathematically save from 'the abyss', but a win would take us well clear and up to mid table, and 12 points clear of wor opponents today, who lie in 3rd bottom place!
It haz been conformed by NUFC that Ben Arfa will be oot for the rest of the season with a hamstring injury and that Yohan Cabaye will aalso be missin' because of a groin strain.

Results on Saturday were again mixed, but we are still 9 points above the drop zone!

We leave in less than an hours time @ 8:30 bells' this mornin' in 'The Caped Crusaders' 'Batmobile' for the 'delights' of the two social clubs not too far from the groond!

There will of course be a full 'Geordie Times' 'mad-sad groundhoppers' match report orly on Monday mornin'<(or late tooneet if aa have the time!?)