THE GEORDIE TIMES MYSTERY PUB QUIZ!

Updated '3:00pm bells' Friday 1st February 2013

The above sign appeared owerneet last Sunday on the beer terrace waall of this very famous Toon tavern!
We asked yoo then, just wot does the sign say in English?---and which pub iz the sign displayed at???

'The Geordie Times' "will reveeel aall" before wor home game against Chelski tomorrow!

WATCH THIS SPACE!

NEW SIGNIN!***NEW SIGNIN!*** THE CLOCK'S 'A' TICKED DOON!

Posted '11:01pm bells' Thorsday 31st January 2013

The transfor window haz just closed and we can tell yoo that we have (at 'six bells' toneet!) signed 17 year old Kevin Mbabu from Swiss club Servette for an undisclosed fee!

This iz the anly 'incomin'/'ootgannin' Toon transfor of the day and in total we have signed SIX players in the transfor window and selt ONE! (Demba Ba) (although rumour haz it that 'The Xisco Kid' iz off to Spain toneet!) <"let's f*****' hope so!"

AND JUST TO HOY A SPANNER INTO THE WORKS AFTER WOR GREAT WIN IN BORMINGHAM LAST NEET! *****THE TOON U21s 0 THE BISCUITMEN U21s 3 !

Posted '5:55pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

"GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!"

This afternoon at a windswept Darsley Park in Benton the resorve U21s lost 3-0 to The Biscuitmen of Readings's equivilent.

Massadio Haidara made hiz debut for the Toon but we were 3-0 doon by the break thanx mainly to the sendin' off of wor goalie Jak Alnwick for a handbaall ootside the area!

It waz soon nine men az Jamie Sterry then got hiz marchin' orders in the 2nd period but there waz ne fortha score az the howlin' wind made the game farcical!
We were unable to watch this match worsels az it waz played 'behind closed doors', (again!) but we did manage to get wor faithful homin' pigeon 'Porcy' to fly ower the proccedins to bring yooo wor loyal reeeders this excluuusive match report!

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS 1 THE TOON 2

Updated '2:05pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE HOLTE END'
DURIN' THE 1st HALF
(View from 'The Corner Flag End'!)

"THE BATTLE OF 'THE ABYSS'!"

AT LAST!---an away win under wor belts on wor EIGHTEENTH attempt this season!
Two of wor latest 'French Connection' signins started the game, namely Gouffran and Sissoko and they seemed to enspire the team az we laid seige to the Villa goal az we attacked The Holte End in the forst half.
It waz Sissoko, indeed! who supplied an inch porfect pass for Cisse, who fired home in the 19th minute to give us a precious lead!

THE TOON FANS CELEBRATE CISSE'S GOAL
BY LETTIN' OFF A GREEN SMOKE BOMB!

Then, just after the half hour mark wor lead waz doubled when Yohan Cabaye hit an unstoppable right foot screamer from the edge of the box past the dispairin' Guzan in 'The Hazbeenz' goal and we looked to be 'coastin it' at this point!

However the 2nd half waz a different story with the home side startin' off 'on fire' with us on the backfoot!
A dubious 'ootside the box' penalty waz then awarded to them which they convorted to half the defecit and set us bitin' wor finger nails!
We simply couldn't get up to the end of the field where the Toon fans were housed and not one corner waz recorded by us in the whole second period!
'The Hazbeenz' had several chances to level things but thankfully Tim Krul in the Toon goal waz on top form and kept them at bay!
Wor thord recent French signin' Mbiwa then came on for a 'knackered' Sissoko 'who had run hiz socks off', to make HIS debut late on!
The final whistle waz greeted by the Toon fans az though we'd won the cup and we move FIVE ("Er! sorry"!) FOWER points clear of 'the abyss', havin' put Villa firmleee in it!

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Steve Taylor, Coloccini, Santon, Perch (Shola Ameobi 69) , Cabaye, Gouffran (Anita 74), Sissoko (Yanga-Mbiwa 79) Gutierrez, Cisse   

Attendance:30,334 (2,000 happy Toon fans!)



PS a word of mention to wor Jawman friends who are regular visitors to this site az they've just clocked up their THOOSANDTH HIT!---thanx for your support!

LATEST PREMYA LEEGUE TABLE (BOTTOM!)

Posted '3:15pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

11 SMBs played 24/ points 29
12 The Jellied Eels Mob 23/27
13 The Canary Custards 23/26
14 Wacko Jacko Jivers 23/25
15 THE TOON 24/24
16 Sooothampton 23/23
17 Blue Wigs 24/20
The 'Abyss'!
18 Hazbeenz & Villians 24/20
19 The Biscuitmen 23/19
20 'Appy 'Arrys Ragmen 24/16  

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS v THE TOON

Updated '9:20am bells' Tuesday 29th January 2013

Toneet iz probably the most important day of the season so far for NUFC, az we face a *'shell-shocked' Villa side in this 'battle to avoid the abyss' in Bormingham! (*'shell-shocked' because of their cup defeats to Bradfad City and Millwaall last week!)

'The Geordie Times' haz lornt that defender Massadio Haidara, one of wor new five French Connection signins this month, will NOT make hiz debut az waz previously thought?

'The Sissoko Kid' (Moussa Sissoko) WILL however step oot onto the Villa Park pitch in the number 7 shirt @ '7:45 bells' for his debut, but there iz ne mention of the other two signins last week, namely striker Yoan Gouffran or defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa in the startin' line up!?---we shall see!

It certainly iz 'the day of reckonin' for wor manager, so lets hope we can finally get wor forst away win of the season toneet at the EIGHTEENTH attempt!

We're heedin' off doon the 'A1' @ '12:30 bells'!---forst stop 'The Barton Arms' (qwaata of an hours waalk from the groond!) >>>>

For aall the latest squad numbers of wor 'French Connections' and other players, pleeeze gan to 'NUFC Squad Numbers' in the top 'tool-bar'

Full match report to follow 'sometime' tomorrow!

OTHER MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

Posted '8:15pm bells' Monday 28th January 2013

Another excellent site which 'The Geordie Times' often visits iz a non leegue one by 'Steve B The Groundhopper' which gives info on hundreds of grounds he haz visited ower the years and can be foond @ www.stevebthegroundhopper.blogspot.co.uk     

THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLIANS v THE TOON ***TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '12:35pm bells' Monday 28th January 2013


"LETS HOPE IT'S A 'SIX'!"

Wor manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' will throw hiz last hand of the dice tomorrow neet @ Villa Park when hiz new team of FIVE Frenchys will be in the startin' line up---fower of them who will be makin' their debuts!
The latest rant from wor manager haz more than a sign of desperation in it:
"We've got fifteen games left and everyone of them is a cup final!--we have GOT to win half of those games!" <(that's 'seven and a half' by wor reckonin'!?)

We can anly hope that he throws a 'six' dice and that at last we can get wor forst away win of the season under wor belts in wot will be wor EIGHTEENTH attempt!

'The Hazbeens' of course have had a horrendous few weeks just like us, havin' been knocked oot of the Leegue Cup semis by fourth tier side Bradford last Tuesday and last Friday they lost to Championship side Millwaall in the FA Cup, to put them on a 'double downer' for their match against us!
Indeed, history could be made by us if current forst teamer Marveaux aalso plays az this will meen that more than HALF wor team will hail from France!
We can anly hope and pray that the 'French Connection' will pay off!?----We won't have lang to find oot!

AALL TIME AVERAGE LEEGUE GATES***1888-2013

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 27th January 2013

A grainy action shot from St James' Park
taken nearly 107 years ago on October 13th 1906
(the cameraz wornt very good in them days!)
Toon centre forward Appleyard heeds against 
the Man City crossbar @ The Gallowgate End
The Toon won this leegue encoonta 2-0
in front of a 20,000 crowd (Appleyard scored both!)
(The Popular side and Leazes Terrace
are in the backgroond)

Az ever! and nuw and again! 'The Geordie Times' brings yoo facts and figures from wor attendances ower the years

Below iz the list of the top ten supported clubs of aall time in the Futbaall Leegue from it's inception in 1888

We've aalso included aall nine of the north eest clubs who have ever played leegue futbaall and their position in the aall time list!
The Toon are currently in sixth place just behind Chelski, but az wor average gates are much higher than their's at the moment, we shud owertake them in the not too distant future!

1888 to 1st January 2013 

1 The Cockney Reds of Salford***38,401
2 The Liverbirds***34,167
3 Sporz***33,549
4 The Arse***33,308
5 Chelski OAPs***31,767
6 THE TOON***31,728
7 The Toffee Noses***31,200
8 The Blue Moonies***29,300
9 The Hazbeens & Villians***28,340
10 Leedz***25,580
North eest clubs ootside the 'top ten'
11 SMBs***25,396
16 The Smoggies***19,689
72 Gatesheed***6,381
103 The Monkey Hangers***4,225
105 Darlo***4,149
114 The Pit Yaakers of Ashington***3,524
126 Durhim City***2,541
136 (last place) Middlesbraa Ironopolis***1,450

"50,000 THANK YOOOZ!"

Posted '8:45pm bells' Saturday 26th January 2013

NEWS OF 'THE GEORDIE TIMES' 50,000th 'HIT' 
REACHES THE PLANET MARS!
"TAKE ME TO YOR LEADER---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

'History' haz been made on Tyneside today when 'The Geordie Times' received it's FIFTY THOOOOSANTH PAGEVIEW from aroond the world (and beyond!)

This momentous occassion haz been celebrated toneet with a few 'liquid lubrications' in the Toon!---and on MARS!---az yoo would expect! 

The Top Ten aall time list iz az follows!

Planet Earth Top Ten 'hits'
1 The United Kingdim***26,161
2 The U S of A***8,365
3 The Ukraine***1,358
4 Jawmany***992
5 The Guinness Republic***916
6 Greece***683
7 Rushaa***670
8 Spain***520
9 France***362
10 Holland***319

The rest of the Univorse!
1 Mars***"A canny few---like!"