'THE RONNY-GILL' BACK PAGE---TONEET

Posted '3:00pm bells' Monday 14th May 2012

For a change the main story on the back page of toneets 'Ronny-Gill' iz of Dunston's fantastic win in the FA Vase final @ Wembley yesterday, showin' a photo of 'The Bad Blue Boys' liftin' the trophy.

Aalso mentioned iz Papiss Demba Cisse, pictured in wor new 'wino away top', who haz pledged to stay at 'The Toon' and help us secure a Champions League place next season followin' yesterday's dissapointin' result.

THE TOFFEE NOSES 3 THE TOON 1

Posted '9:35am bells Monday 14th May 2012

Forst of aall can aa just say 'congratulations' to Dunston UTS who won the FA Vase yesterday @ Wembley by beatin' West Auckland 2-0 thanx to goals from Steve 'Bully' Bull to bring the silverware back to Tyneside!
Az mentioned previously, we would have been there had the two games not clashed---(but yi cannit be in two places at the same time---can yi?)
"Well done 'The Bad Blue Boys'!"

  RYAN TAYLOR (extreeeme left!)
  TAKES A CORNER @ THE PARK END
  

Secondly!---'it just wasn't to be' for 'The Toon' though, and in the end, the 3-1 defeat against The Toffee Noses @ Goodison made ne difference to the premya table anyway, even if we'd won, az both The Arse and Spors won their games to claim thord and fourth places respectively.

So Europa League futbaall it iz for the 'black 'n' whites' next season!

Most of wor pre match 'garglin' took place in the Fountains Abbey which iz aboot a ten minute waalk from the groond, where we met a few Toffee Noses who we naa, namely Joanne and Mark, who telt us that the one thing they wanted above aall waz to win and finish above The Liverbirds in the table! (a bad omen for us or wot!?)

Yoo could see from the start of the game that we just wernt 'up for it' az we ran oot in wor new 'Winos' away strip and Pienaar opened the scorin' for the home side on the qwaata of an hour mark with a shot that hit Mike Williamson on the back and the baall spun past the stranded Tim Krul and into the net!
Jelavic doubled the home sides lead in the 27th minute, when, after he had handled just moments orlier (unbeseen by the ref of course!) he fired past Krul and wor Champions League aspirations were startin' to evaporate.

Meeenwhile!---text messages from Wembley telt us that Dunston were beatin' West Auckland 1-0 in the Vase final!

The thord and 'killer goal' came at the mid point in the 2nd half when Heitinga heeded home at The Gladys Street End.
We pulled one back soon after with an own goal from Hibbert, but it was aall ower by then.

Another two text messages from Wembley telt us that Dunston had won the FA Vase 2-0, so at least it wasn't aall bad news! (special thanx to 'Davy the Silver Fox' and 'Shaz the Postie' for keepin' us updated!)

News waz comin' through from the Championship decider games az well and cheers went up from the Evertonian sections when they hord that Man City were gettin' beat? (aalways thought they hated Man U more??) Of course we aall naa 'wot happened next', az this crazy season drew to a close!

Next stop for The Toon!?----The Amsterdam Arena! (where the Europa League final iz bein' held next season!)

Toon team: Krul, Perch (Marvaeux 46), Williamson, Coloccini, Santon (Ryan Taylor 46), Cabaye, Tiote (Shola Ameobi 81), Ben Arfa, Gutierrez, Cisse, Ba

Attendance: 39,517 (3,000 Toon fans) (The Toffee Noses highest crowd of the season)    

YI CANNIT BE IN TWO PLACES AT THE SAME TIME!

Updated '6:45am bells' Sunday 13th May 2012

The last weekend of the season iz aalmost apon us and two massive games are takin' place today involvin' Tyneside teams, in the shape of 'The Toon' @ Goodison Park in the premya leegue and 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston UTS @ Wembley in the FA Vase final.

It's such a pity that the two games are bein' played at the same time on the same day, az aa naa a lot of Toon fans (includin' meesel) who would have been @ Wembley had the games not clashed.

But yi cannit be in two places at the same time and in my case 'The Toon's' game must! take priority and aa'll be relyin' on mee mate 'Davy the Silver Fox' who'll be at Wembley, to text me any score in Dunston's game against Northern League rivals West Auckland Toon. 

Lets hope that aall of Tyneside haz a double reason to celebrate toneet!----'The Toon' gettin' into the Champions League and 'The Bad Blue Boys' bringin' the FA Vase back to Tyneside!

"Fingers, toes (and legs!) crossed!" 

Match report to follow az usual when we get back! (sometime on Monday!)

ANOTHA WAALK ON THE 'TYNE-SIDE'!

Updated 6:30am bells Sunday 13th May 2012

"The Field of Fields!"

Followin' on from last years 'sorte' to a Northern Alliance game @ Wark, beside the River North Tyne, (A Wark on the Wild Side!) we took anotha 'Tynetrip' yesterday az we heeded for Stocksfield on Tyne to watch their top of the table clash against Whitley Bay resorves @ 'The Stocksfield Sports Fields'!

The Geordie Times entourage caught the 'one bells' Hexham snail train from 'The Central' which passed through Stocksfield (and it thankfully stopped there!) and from there it waz a short waalk away alang the main road to 'the fields'.
After a few 'liquid refreshments' in the very nice clubhoose it waz off to one one the many fields beside the railway line where the match waz bein' played (the sports complex included two cricket pitches, two footbaall pitches and a rugby pitch)

A bit of train spottin' waz the order of the day az well az the match which torned oot to be a six goal thriller. (more to follow on this when aa get time az a'm off to Morseyside in an hours time!)
Full time: Stocksfield 3 Whitley Bay 'A' 3
Attendance: 49 (plus a doggie!)

MANAGER OF THE YEAR!???---"I BEG YOUR PARDEW!"

Posted 9:50am bells Saturday 12th May 2012

The fantastic news that the manager of the year award haz been won by WOR manager comes az ne suprize to us after the unexpectedly fantastic season we have had so far!
The anly question now iz!---just which of the European competitions will he guide us into next season!?

We'll find oot tomorrow afternoon @ 'five bells' (hopefully!)

The Cockney charvaa'z done good! "CONGRATULATIONS ALAN!"

BLACKPOOL TOWER or! THE TOWER OF LONDON?

Posted '7:45am bells' Thorsday 10th May 2012

Blackpool's win @ Brum last neet means that we will be gannin to East Lancs or East London next season az they will play West 'em in the play off final @ Wembley.
Aalso dependin' on if the 'QPRag & Bone Men' or 'Ne Where Near Bolton' stay up,we have the possibility of at least EIGHT trips to 'the smoke' next season, az we have to travel through the capital to get to Soothampton and The Biscuit Men of Reading az well! (We'll just have to wait and see!)

THE FIGHTING FIFTH!

Posted 9:55pm bells' Tuesday 8th May 2012

THE ROYAL NORTHUMBERLAND FUSILIERS
FORMED IN 1642
WERE KNOWN AZ 'THE FIGHTING FIFTH'!

'The Liverbirds' 4-1 win against 'The Kings Road OAPs of Chelski' @ Anfield toneet means that the lowest position that The Toon can now finish iz in FIFTH position in the premya leegue!

EUROPEAN QUALIFICATION---AZ IT STANDS!

Updated '9:55pm bells' Tuesday 8th May 2012

THE AMSTERDAM ARENA---"WILL WE BE HERE IN MAY 2013???"
(WHERE THE EUROPA LEAGUE FINAL IZ BEIN' PLAYED!)
"OR!---IZ THIS 'WISHFUL THINKIN'-PERHAPS!???"

Results ower the weekend mean that we must now win wor last game away to 'The Toffee Noses of Everton' next Sunday to have any chance of qualifyin' for the Champions League.
This will now anly happen if we win and eetha 'The Arse' lose their final game away to WBA, or! Spors drop at least two points at home to 'The Jackson Jivers of Fulham'

'The OAPs of Chelski', meeenwhile, lost 4-1 away to 'The Liverbirds' toneet and cannot now finish above us!


THE PREMYA LEEGUE---AZ IT STANDS @ '9:55pm bells' Tuesday
(4 Champions League places and 3 Europa League places up for grabs!)


1 The Blue Moonies---
played 37---points 86---goal difference +63--- Champions League place guaranteed

2 The Cockney Reds of Salford---
played 37---points 86---goal difference +55---
Champions League place guaranteed

3 The Arse---
played 37---points 67---goal difference +24--- Champions League? or Europa League?

4 Happy Harry's Hotspors---
played 37---points 66---goal difference +23---
Champions League? or Europa League?

5 THE TOON---
played 37---points 65---goal difference +7---
Europa League? or Champions League?

6 The Kings Road OAPs of Chelski---
played 37---points 61---goal difference +18---
Europa League? or Champions League? (cannit now finish above The Toon and can anly qualify for The Champions League if they win the final in Munich!)

7 The Toffee Noses---
played 37---points 53---goal difference +8--- 
cannit qualify for Europa League or Champions League

8 The Liverbirds---
played 37---points 52---goal difference +8---
Europa League qualifiers by virtue of winnin' the League Cup---cannit qualify for the Champions League

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONIES 2

Posted '8:50am bells' Monday 7th May 2012

"WEBB OF DECEIT!"

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (1st half)

Whey!---we gave it wor best shot!---didn't we!?
A game that waz winable, lost in the last 20 minutes through a Toure Yaya 'brace', the last one comin' in the final minute to send us to a 2-0 defeat and The Blue Moonies closer than ever to the title.

The ref Howard Webb didn't help wor cause with soft bookins against first, Ben Arfa orly on and then Tiote and Perch, which meant that they aall had to be very careful not to get a 2nd yellow and dismisal.
Aall three yellows were for trivial offences and the record crowd in the rebuilt St James' Park (by one!), let their feelins known to him by loud booin' and whistles! (it waz a shockin' display from the man in black!)

Wor three strikers never reeely got goin', although we did have chances to tek the lead with the visitors lookin' very nervy from the start. Ben Arfa's effort for example, which looked like gannin in, was torned roond the post by Hart in the Blue Moonies goal.

It waz 'even stevens' 'til the deadlock waz broken and even a defeat didn't entirely finish off wor Champions League aspirations az we could still de it on the final day of the season next Sunday @ Goodison Park az anly TWO POINTS seperate us from The Arse and Spors in third and fourth! (both The Arse and Spors could anly draw ower the weekend, droppin' valuable points!)

Aa naa av said this before!---but who would EVER have believed that we would STILL have a chance of qualifyin' for the Champions League 'holy grail' by the last day of the season!???

Toon team: Krul, Perch (Ferguson 74), Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Ben arfa (Shola Amiobi 74), Cabaye, Tiote (Ryan Taylor 82), Gutierrez, Cisse, Ba

Attendance: 52,389 (3,200 Blue Moonies)
(A record crowd at rebuilt groond, beatin' the SMBs crowd by 'one'!) (where was he/she at that game!?)  

'THE GEORDIE TIMES' 100 PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE!---ONE HUNDRED AND TWO! DOON!---NONE TO GAN!

Final update: 9:00am bells' Monday 7th May 2012

A Toon fan stands with his arms ootstreached in the doorway of   'The Newcastle Arms' after 'The Fiorentina flood fiasco!'

"Iz it still rainin'?---Like?"---he asks!

Forst of aall!---can aa say a very special 28,000 thank yoooz to wor regular and 'loyal' bloggers from the 124 countries and territories that have now visited us from the fower corners of the globe (and beyond!) (Rwanda in Africa bein' wor latest visitors!)

Az most of yiz aalready naa, 'The Geordie Times Tipplers' attempted to de sommik that we think nebody had ever done before!?--- to visit 100 pubs and clubs within 20 minutes waalkin' distance of St James' Park<("and aalways will be!") on matchdays this season and drink a pint of  'lush liquid lubricant' in each and every one of them! 

To be porfectly honest with yooo!, we HAD ne idea if there WERE 100 within waalkin' distance of the groond---SO!---there waz anly one way to find oot!---wasn't there!----and there WAZ! (easily!)

The participants/plonkies! were as follows!
'Fink the mad-sad groundhopper', 'Grumpy Stumpy' and 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' (pictured above in a soakin' wet hooped 'T' shirt!) (he's 'hard' yi naa!)


We visited another 2 new 'liquid lubrication locations', before and after the Stoke game on Saturday 21st April to complete the list, and history waz made in 'The Star' when wor ONE HUNDREDTH! 'Tonsil Ticklin' Tavern' was chaalked off in just TWENTY GAMES! (an average of FIVE new boozers a game!)
The most expensive waaterin hole waz 'Bar 28', which iz where the old 'Blackett' pub waz @  FOWER POOND FORTY a pint! ('Grumpy Stumpy' got them!) ("ha! ha!")
The cheapest, by the way, iz 'The Bee Hive'  and 'Pumphreys' doon 'The Bigg Market @ £1.45 a pint! (aa got those by the way!---a'm not f*****' daft!)

For the shear 'hell of it' we did another 2 waaterin holes before wor final home game against The Blue Moonies of Manchester yesterday to take wor seasons total to 102 visited!

The records there to be broken next season lads and lasses!


"AND NOW YOOO'D BETTER BELIEVE US!"

'THE GEORDIE TIMES' ROUTE TO THE SUMMIT!---
VIA THE GREEN LINE!

If we were climbin' Moont Everest we would now be at the summit!
However!---we have to tell yoo that we have absoluteleee NE intention of deein' this in the foreseeable future as there are NE PUBS? on this Himalayan ootpost!----so wots the point of climbin' it!????



It shud be noted that EVERY drinkin' den visited  waz  within a 20 minute waalk of St James' Park with 'The Waaterline' on the quayside the furthest away! (and 'Shearers' the closest!)

We have now completed a century of 'waaterin holes' and this 'historic moment' came at preciseleee '6:30pm bells' on Saturday 21st April in 'The Star' on Westgate Road! 


PUBS & CLUBS VISITED IN THE 100 PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE----102! (final coont!)

Match number 1---
The Toon 0  Fiorentina 0---
Friendly (match abandoned!---pitch flooded!)

001 THE MONKEY BAR (MARKET LANE)
002 LADY GREY (formerly THE ADELPHI)
003 THE WELLY (DUKE OF WELLINGTON)
004 THE COMPANIONS CLUB (formerly THE LABOUR CLUB)
005 THE STRAA'BERRY (THE STRAWBERRY)
006 THE TOON ARMS (THE NEWCASTLE ARMS)

Match number 2---
The Toon 0  The Arse 0----
Premier League

007 POPOLO'S
008 THE BACCHUS
009 FITZYZ (FITZGERALDS)




Match number 3---
The Toon 2  The Jackson Jivers of Fulham 1
Premier League

010 THE UNION ROOMS
011 THE BEE HIVE
012 BUTLERS
013 THE CLOCK (DUKE OF NORTHUMBERLAND)
014 SOHO
015 FLUID BAR & KITCHEN


Match number 4---
The Toon 3 Tandoori Chicken Takeaway Rovers 1
Premier League

016 THE BODEGA
017 TILLY'S
018 ASPERS CASINO BAR
019 THE LABOUR CLUB
020 THE THREE BULLS (KNACKERS!)


Match number 5
The Toon  2   Harry's Hotspurs  2
Premier League

021 THE HOTSPUR
022 THE CROWS NEST
023 SGT. PEPPERS
024 THE JUNCTION 
(formerly 'OLD ORLEANS')
025 ROSIE'S BAR (formerly 'THE DARN CROOK')


Match number 6
The Toon 1  The Blue Wigs  0
Premeir League


026 O'NEILL'S (Originally THE VIC & COMET or 'THE SPIT & VOMIT' as the regulars affectionately used to caall it!)

027 THE HEAD OF STEAM
028 THE LANG BAR (THE LONG BAR)
029 YATESY'Z (YATES WINE LODGE)
030 THE ROSE & CROON (THE ROSE & CROWN)
031 SHARKS CLUB GASTRO BAR
032 THE PORCY (THE PERCY ARMS)


Match number 7
The Toon 2   The Toffee Noses 1
Premier League

033 THE BLACK GARTER
034 THE PADDYS CLUB (THE IRISH CLUB)
035 THE TRENT HOOSE (TRENT HOUSE)

"SANCTUARY!"

036 ITALIAN ATTITUDE (since renamed BAR LOCO)
037 LANDMARK
038 MADDISONS
039 HYENA COMEDY CAFE & BAR
040 GOOSE


Match number 8
The Toon 0  The Kings Road Pensioners 3
Premier League

041 SHEARERS
042 THE BLACK BULL
043 FLEET STREET (formerly THE PRINTERS PIE)
044 THE LOUNGE (formerly THE GEORDIE PRIDE)
045 GOTHAM TOWN
046 RAFFERTYS (formerly THE NORTH BRITISH)


Match number 9
The Toon 0 Swanzee 0
Premier League

047 THE CENTURION

048 NEWCASTLE HERO

049 THE DOG AND PARROT (formerly THE GOLDEN FLEECE)
050 ECLIPSE (formerly THE DURHAM OX)


Match number 10
The Toon 2  The Baggie Troosers 3
Premier League

051 THE FORTH
052 TOWN WALLS
053 THE MILE CASTLE
054 No. 28 BAR




Match number 11
The Toon 3  The Cockney Reds 0
Premier League


055 THE KEEL ROW
056 INDIGO
057 BANNATYNE
058 OPERA
059 BEYONDMatch number 12
The Toon 2  Tandoori Chicken Takeaway Rovers 1
FA Cup 3rd roond

060 THE VILLA VIC(TORIA)
061 THE MARLBOROUGH CLUB
062 RENDEZ VOUS
063 TOKYO
064 THE BRIDGE HOTEL


Match number 13
The Toon 1  Steptoe & Son Rangers 0
Premier League

065 THE FIVE SWANS (Formerly LUCKYS BAR)
066 PACIFIC
067 LYH
068 THE NORTHUMBERLAND ARMS
069 TIGER TIGER
070 THE OLD GEORGE


Match number 14
The Toon 2 
The Spanish 'Villa' Holiday Home XI 1
Premier League

071 PUMPHREYS

072 CITY VAULTS
073 SAM JACKS



Match number 15
The Toon 2   The Wounded Wolves 2
Premier League

074 THE QUAYSIDE
075 BOB TROLLOP

076 CHASE
077 THE SLUG AND LETTUCE
078 RED HOOSE (RED HOUSE)
079 COSY JOES



Match number 16
The Toon 1 The SMBs 1
Premier League

080 SINNERS
081 PLAYERS BAR
082 MOOD
083 THE CHARLES GREY
084 STAND


Match number 17
The Toon 1  The Canary Custard Crumbles 0
Premier League

085 THE PITCHER AND PIANO
086 LA TASCA
087 THE WAATERLINE (THE WATERLINE)
088 THE EYE ON THE TYNE
089 BROAD CHARE (formely THE BALTIC TAVERN)
090 AKENSIDE TRADER
091 BABUCHO




Match number 18
The Toon 2 The Liverbirds 0
Premier League

092 THE HANCOCK

093 NORTH TERRACE                   

094 BARLUGA

095 CROWN POSADA



Match number 19
The Toon 2  'Ne where near Bolton', Wanderers 0
Premier League

096 THE TELEGRAPH       
097 JALOU
098 REVOLUTION

Match number 20
The Toon 3  'The Pullis P*ss Potts of Stoke 0
Premier League

099 ALVINOS                                        
100 THE STAR 




Match number 21 
The Toon 0  The Blue Moonies2
Premier League

101 BROWNS
102 LAS  IGUANAS                                             



FOR PHOTOS OF AALL THE 'LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATIONS' VISITED, 'CLICK' ONTO---

 '100 PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE PHOTOS'  AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE!