"UNITED WE STAND!"

Posted '4:55pm bells' Monday 6th February 2012

At this moment in time 'The Geordie Times' haz three countries viewin' us!
The UNITED States of America
The UNITED Arab Emirates and of course!-------The UNITED Kingdom---Other 'hits' from aroond the globe today include: Ukraine---Singapore---Brazil---Jawmany---Greece---Nigeria---Norway
"HELLO TO YOO AALL!"

Wor crowd of 48,569 on Sunday @ 1:30 bells' against unattractive opposition waz brilliant, especially az it was live on the telly and it waz freezin' cold ootside!
Well done everyone who torned oot!
"UNITED WE STAND!"

THE DEADLY DEMBAS 2 THE VILLA 1

Posted '7:20 pm bells' Sunday 5th February 2012

Two strikes from 'The SSS' (Senegal Super Strikers!) secured the three points @ St James' Park to send The Toon back up to FIFTH place in the premya leeegue.

Demba mark ONE---(of the 'Ba' variety) put us in front in the 10th minute @ The Leazes End with a fine shot as he was faallin' to the groond, after a Ryan Taylor effort fell to him. Taylor was subsequently injured and had to be stretchered off the pitch.

Then Robbie Keane equalised for Villa FIVE minutes into forst half injury time when he side footed the baall into the net after a mix up in The Toon's defence.

Just as though it looked like the game was peterin' oot for a draw in the second period, up stepped debutant and new number nine, Demba mark TWO (of the 'Cisse' variety) (who had replaced the injured Leon Best) and he skillfully chested the baall doon to rifle an unstoppable shot into the top corner of the goal past the despairin' ex Toon keeper Shay Given with 20 minutes to play.

This proved to be the winnin' goal and az predicted by 'The Geordie Times' wor new 'ten million poond man', celebrated wildly in front of the joyous Toon fans @ The Gallowgate End of the groond! (see match preview below!)

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Santon, R Taylor (Obertan 33), Perch, Guthrie, Gutierrez, Best (Cisse 14), Ba (Shola Ameobi 90)
Attendance: 48,569 (less than 2,000 Villians)

'Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Report' to follow later this week!

THE TOON v THE VILLIANS--TOMORROW DINNERTIME!

Updated '9:35 am bells' Sunday 5th February 2012

"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880---AND AALWAYS WILL BE!"
(THE GALLOWGATE END FROM OOTSIDE 'THE STRAWBERRY')

Another Sunday dinnertime start, this time against Villa @ St James' Park ('1:30 bells') for yet another live 'SKY' telly game! (are we ever off 'the box'?)

The two Dembas will be back from African Nations Cup duty and they'll swop the waam sunshine of Africa to the sub zero temps of Tyneside where more snow iz forecast!

Demba Cisse of course iz expected to make hiz lang awaited debut, (dependin' on his fitness levels of course) and the number nine shirt will hopefully be runnin' aroond the pitch celebratin' a victory at aroond '3:30 bells' this afternoon?

More to follow much later on toneet in wor match report!

'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' will start of @ 'Pumphreys' in The Bigg Market @ '11 bells' this mornin' (IF it's open?) (boozer number 71 if it IZ!?)

PS: Aa came up from West Brom in mee truck last neet and the weather was atrocious, with accidents everywhere, because of heavy snow, ice and thick fog, and aa was very lucky to get back!
So just how Villa fans will get here is anybodys guess! (their groond iz just four miles from West Brom's)

TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS 0 THE TOON 2

Posted '9:45 am bells' Thorsday 2nd February 2012

"Somebody up there DOES! like us!"

The gods finally looked doon on us at Ewood Park last neet as a wickedly deflected goal in the 12th minute gave us the lead when a Ryan Taylor shot which was gannin miles wide caught the boot of a Blackborn defender and flew into the net leavin' their keeper completely stranded.
At forst the Toon fans stood in silence before burstin' oot into spontanious celebrations at the realisation that we'd actually scored!
(This made up for wor own goal against Brighton last week in similar circumstances, which cost us that game!)

However!--this seemed to 'kick start' 'The Tandoori Chickens' into life and wor goal lived a charmed life as they pressed for the equaliser.

Then just before the break the ref gave them a dubious lookin' penalty after Danny Simpson was judged to have fouled Modeste in the box, but Tim Krul dived to his left and saved the resultin' spot kick.
Just after this Leon Best heeded against his own cross bar and we were very fortunate indeed to gan in 1-0 up at half time.

The second period wasn't much better for us and with Shola and Best oot of sorts up front for us, we just couldn't get gannin as Rovers laid siege to wor goal with wot seemed like a million corners in succession (slight exaggeration!) at the far end from us! 
Wor savin' grace was that they just couldn't put the baall in wor net and as we 'clock watched', the minutes seemed to take hours and somehow we were still in front!

The home fans beside us then unfurled a banner made oot of an old bed sheet and spray painted with 'VENKY'S OUT!' on it, and started singin', "You can stick your f*****' chickens up your arsenal!", (or words to that effect!) in appreciation of their Indian chicken takeaway owners attempts to get them relegated!

Late substitutions by 'I Beg your Pardew' saw Gabriel Oberton replace Ryan Taylor and Peter Lovenkrands replace Leon Best and they combined in stoppage time, when a neat 'one-two' between the two players saw Obertan run clear and he gleefully excepted his chance with a fine run to score a great goal in front of the ecstatic 3 to 4,000 Toon fans in 'The Darwen End' to finally clinch the points and send us up to the dizzy heights of FIFTH PLACE! in the premya leegue table.
The Chickens were well and truely fried!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Santon, Ben Arfa (Perch 46), Guthrie, Ryan Taylor (Obertan 89), Gutierrez, Best (Lovenkrands77), Shola Ameobi
Attendance: 20,817 (3 to 4,000 Toon fans?) (not sure, as we couldn't see how many were in the upper tier!)  

TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS v THE TOON---TONEET @ '8 BELLS'!

Posted '1:00 pm bells' Wednesday 1st February 2012

"DEFINATELY NOT!--- THE TOON END!"

Tooneet we travel to Blackborn for the second time this season for a leegue game we cud 'de withoot', if I was honest with yoo!

We lost there 4-3 orlier on this season in a League Cup tie and we will be withoot the 'two Dembas' az they are not due back from their African adventure till tomorrow, so again we must rely on Shola Ameobi and Leon Best up front (we presume?) in wor 'quest' to finish in a Europa Cup spot by the end of the season. (7th position shud de!)

We're leavin' @ 2' bells' this afternoon in 'The Caped Crusaders' 'batmobile' and hope to arrive 'snow free' @ the social club we normally gan te (which iz 'off the beaten track') @ aroond '4:30 bells'!

Rovers have warned Toon fans NOT to bring any banners with the word 'VENKY'S' on it, az they will be refused entry if they de!
(In case yi didn't naa, 'Venkys' are Blackborn's Indian owners who run a chain of tandoori chicken takeaways!) (hence wor name for them!)

Just why any Toon fan wud gan to the trouble of makin' a banner mockin' Blackborns owners iz 'beyond us', az there's ne 'history' between the two clubs to start with!??? ("Er!"---we'll just 'mock them' in 'The Geordie Times' instead!)

Match report to follow sometime tomorrow!

THE TOON RESORVES 5 THE TERRIERS of BEDLINGTON 1

Posted '10:05 am bells' Wednesday 1st February 2012

"A BEDLINGTON FAN ATTEMPTS TO SCALE THE WAALL
@ 'BLUE FLAMES' TO AVOID PAYIN' THE FOUR QUID
ENTRANCE FEE!"

The Toon second string completely owerwhelmed The Terriers of Bedlington last neet az they were shot doon in flames 5-1 @ 'Blue Flames'!
This Northumberland Senior Cup semi final waz played in "freeeezin" conditions az we ran oot easy winners.
Goals from Paul Dummet in the 10th minute and Patrick Nzuzi in the 36th minute gave us a cushion but 'The Canines' hit back just before the break to half the deficit.

The 'cushion' however waz soon restored orly in the second period when goals from Alex Nicholson, Phil Airey and Dan Taylor sealed the victory in front of the lowest crowd aa can ever remember for a second string game! (not includin' the behind closed doors game we saw at WBA last season!)

The final @ St James' Park <(we presume?) will be an aall 'Toon' affair, az wor opponents will be from the winners of the other semi final between 'Team Northumbria' and 'Newcastle Benfield' (both teams play within two miles of Blue Flames)

Attendance:186 (19 'Dog lovers'!)

TRANSFOR DEADLINE DAY!---WE'VE ESCAPED!---UNSCATHED!

Updated 9:30 am bells' Wednesday 1st February 2012

"NO GO!"

It waz transfor deadline day yesterday of course and we came through unscathed thanx to to many vigilantes who stood guard at various locations aroond the Toon! 

There were ne reported helicopter activities ower Tyneside az news quickly spread that we had EVERY heliport covered from The Benton Trainin' Groond to The Arena's heliport next to The Redheugh Bridge and I have to tell yoo that we had a team handed mob, ready with sticks, clubs and basebaall bats to repel any invaders from the sky, waitin' to whisk one (or more!) of wor star players away to London, Manchester or (of course!) Liverpool!

It worked! az ne players were transfored yesterday and we can breathe a sigh of relief til the summer at least!
(Ne players came IN, on deadline day eetha---by the way!)

THE TOON RESORVES v BEDLINGTON TERRIERS---TONEET @ '7:30 bells'

Posted '2:50 pm bells' Tuesday 31st January 2012


"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!?"


Toneet @ Blue Flames, Benton (aka Whitley Park) the resorves take on the Terriers of Bedlington in the semis of The Northumberland Senior Cup. 

In the resorves last game we were hammered 6-0 by Man U's second string @ Altrincham last week, so lets hope we can boonce back toneet and claim a place in the final, which will be played @ St James' Park.
Season ticket holders have to pay for this one and a low crowd iz expected. (wor guess iz a sub 400 attendance!)

Match report to follow eetha later toneet or in the mornin'!?

"10,000 THANK YOOZ TO AALL WOR OWERSEAS REEEDERS !"

Posted '7:30 pm bells' Monday 30th January 2012

"TO THE SEVEN CONTINENTS ON THE PLANET
10,000 THANK YOOOOZ FROM 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'!"

Yet another 'Geordie Times' 'landmark'? haz been passed, az today @ '7:30 pm bells' preciseleee we have just received wor TEN
THOOOSANDTH pageview from owerseas! (and beyond!)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Below we include the countries and territories that have made this possible---aall 112 of them in the order that they visited us!---A special thank yoo to yoo aall! 

001 United States of America
002 Canada
003 Japan
004 Bulgaria
005 Columbia
006 Brazil
007 Republic of Ireland
008 Denmark
009 Hong Kong
010 France
011 Jawmany (Germany)
012 Russia
013 Burundi
014 Kenya
015 Lithuania
016 China
017 Iraq
018 Egypt
019 India
020 Romania
021 Malta
022 Slovenia
023 Holland
024 New Zealand
025 Australia
026 Spain
027 Greece
028 Belgium
029 Ukraine
030 Luxembourg
031 Sooth Korea
032 Poland
033 Italy
034 Serbia
035 Malaysia
036 Macedonia (FYROM)
037 Hungary
038 Mexico
039 Switzerland
040 Torkey
041 Croatia
042 Norway
043 Equador
044 Czech Republic
045 Portugal
046 Austria
047 Latvia
048 Kyrgystan
049 Azerbaijan
050 Estonia
051 Israel
052 Argentina
053 United Arab Emirates
054 Chile
055 Sweden
056 Finland
057 Tunisia
058 Saudi Arabia
059 Sooth Africa
060 Peru
061 Indonesia
062 Thailand
063 Iran
064 Iceland
065 Pakistan
066 Slovakia
067 Singapore
068 Albania
069 Uruguay
070 Vietnam
071 Bosnia and Herzegovina
072 Nigeria
073 Georgia
074 Philippines
075 Lebanon
076 Isle of Man
077 Belarus
078 Moldova
079 Yemen
080 Taiwan
081 Aruba
082 Venezuala
083 Guatemala
084 Ghana
085 Mauritius
086 Cyprus
087 Zambia
088 Brunei
089 Kuwait
090 Liberia
091 Gibralter
092 Morocco
093 Sierra Leone
094 Jersey
095 Bahrain
096 Trinidad and Tobago
097 Tanzania
098 Algeria
099 Gambia
100 Bhutan
101 Jamaica
102 Maldives
103 Malawi
104 Monaco
105 Guernsey
106 Bahamas
107 Costa Rica
108 Jordan
109 Vanuatu
110 Oman
111 Syria
112 Cayman Islands

Plus Mars!>>>>>>>>


Once again!--TEN THOOOSAND thank yoooz for your support!

A 'LOVE'/'HATE' AFFAIR!---57 YEARS AND COONTIN'!

Posted '2:30 pm bells' Monday 30th January 2012

"THE CUP THAT DOESN'T CHEER!"

Now that we've recovered from wor 725 mile plus roond trip to Sussex we must wonder just wot it's like inside the new Wembley Stadium az we havvent been there now since 2000 when we lost to Chelski in an FA Cup semi final.

It's not even the end of January and yet again we face the prospect of yet another trophyless season, with the anly thing to look forward te,  a crack at the thord rate Europa League and visits to places like Latvia, Estonia and Sloveeenia on Thorsday neets! (shud we qualify?)

It iz now 57 years since we last won a major domestic trophy (the FA Cup in 1955!) and wor now seemingly 'hate affair' with the trophy we once 'loved' and won three times in 'the fifties', just gans on and on and ON!

After yet another defeat in the competition to yet another lower league side!, we must regroup once more for the 'mooth waaterin' prospect of yet another visit to darkest Blackborn on Wednesday neet (wor 2nd visit this season---we lost there in the LEAGUE CUP!)

But hang on a minute!!!----Aa nearly forgot!!!-----The resorves play Bedlington Terriers in the Northumberland Senior Cup @ Benton tomorrow neet in a semi final tie! so some silverware cud be headin' wor way after aall! (so it's not aall doom and gloom after aall!------iz it??????)