Wednesday 15 October 2014

313 bigges main wallsend

(Ground number 313)
Date of First Visit: 14th October 2014
Bigges Main, Wallsend

Wallsend Boys Club Senior X1  1
Newcastle United U21s  7 (Barlaser <(not! Quinn!), Olley, Heardman (pen), Mystery Man? (3)!, og) 

Friendly fixture
Attendance: 240 (estimated by 'The Mad Professor'!)


This game waz arranged by resorve/U21 team coach Peetaa Beardsley, az he of course started hiz playin' career at the famous Waallsend Boys Club!

We! (bein' me and 'Michael the Mag') met up in 'The Hotspor' before heedin' for the Monument Metro to Waallsend where we planned to de a 'pub crawl' before the game!
Thiz waz 'two' 'forsts' for me!---A'v nevaa ever had a drink in Waallsend before and have nevaa seen them play here before!

Beleeeve it or not?--- a'd actually booked a days holiday from work to see this one!---that's reet!---'A days holiday in Waallsend'! <("It doesn't get any sadder than this folks!") <(Does it!???)

Forst 'port o caall' waz 'The Anson', a bar on the High Street with a reputation, but on entry it seemed quiet enough, but of course this waz a Tuesday afternoon when 'the radgies' were probably still in bed recoverin' from the previous neets 'bender'!

Next up waz 'The Ship' just alang the road and on entry we got some strange stares from the locals, az though we'd 'invited' worsels into their hoose and sat in their favourite chairs!

Channel Four racin' waz on the telly and they were soon distracted from us as a race started!

It waz then onward to 'The Queens Heed' ower the street and finally (and appropriately!) 'The Last Orders', last, before heedin' for the groond some 15 minutes waalk away!

The usual 7 or 8 'saddos' were in attendance and stood near the halfway line opposite the main entrance!
It waz a '4:30 bells' kick off az Waallsend didn't have any floodlights and the groond waz simply a fenced off field with ne cover!

The home side made the better start and had two good chances before The Toon took control!

The sequence of goals waz az follows:
28th minute: Callum Roberts crosses for Dan Barlaser to fire home.
I made the fatal missteak of sayin' that I though the goalscorer waz Jonathyn Quinn and waz ridiculed mercesleee for the rest of the half for my 'dillibritt mistayk'! <(personally I blame the drink!)

34th minute: Callum Roberts again iz involved in the build up and the baall faalls nicely to Gregg Olley and he shoots from the edge of the box, givin' the home keeper ne chance! <(I kept my mouth shut this time in case I got it wrang!)

Half time score 2-0 to The Toon!

60th minute: Tom Heardman iz fouled in the box and takes the penalty himself to put us 3-0 up (see above foto!)

70th minute: The amateurs of Waallsend are tirin' by this time and we bring on a super sub with the number 17 on hiz back! No one knows who he iz but he scores with a fine effort!
(There were ne team sheets!, just a programme with the full squad!)
75th minute: An own goal puts us 5-0 up az the skies darken and the rain begins to fall!

83rd minute: 'Mystery Man' gets hiz 2nd from close range
 85th minute: 'MM'? completes hiz hat-trick with anothaa close range effort to put us 7-0 up!--By this time we were strugglin' to see in the dim light az the freezin' wind hit us straight in the face! <(winter iz here!)

89th minute: The Biggest 'cheer' of the afternoon comes when Waallsend finally score a consolation goal through a tap in!--final score 7-1 to The Toon!

'Holiday' ower!----We then heed back to The High Street and take in one more boozer (The Duke of York) before heedin' back to The Toon on the Metro and wor final 'port o caall' waz 'The Strawberry' before heedin' yem! ---- Anothaa groond chalked off the seemingleee nevaa endin' list!

PS: Aa eventually foond oot that wor number 17 hat-trick hero 'Mystery Man' waz caalled Stefan Broccoli!

Waallsend pub crawl




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