NUFC***PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2012-2013 ***LATEST 'SECRET' NEWS!*** "DEN HAAG FRIENDLY???"

Last update '8:50am bells' Monday 9th July 2012

DEN HAAG 'FRIENDLY'?---"SSssshhhh!!!---IT'S A TOP SECRET!"

"WELCOME TO 'MIDDEN NORD'!" (DEN HAAG FC) 

The latest alledged friendly fixture to de the roonds iz a game against Dutch club Den Haag (Holland's answer to Millwaall!) in The Hague on Saturday August 4th @ '5 bells'---Den Haag have actually annoonced the game on their website and are sellin' tickets to their fans---az are Chemnitzer for wor 'alledged' friendly this comin' Friday neet in east Jawmany!---but STILL ne word from 'The NUFC Secret Service' aboot theeze games????





"OCHILVIEW NO! THE NOO!"

"WHO ATE AALL THE PIES!?---LIKE!?"

There's DEVISTATIN' news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' that a rare 'cross border' pre season fixture involvin'  a Newcastle X1 against Stenhoosemuir @ Ochilview Park in 'Highlandflingland' haz just been DENIED by the home club and this friendly will NOT tek place on Saturday 14th July @ 'high noon bells'!

"SIT DOUN IF YIH LOVE 'THE MUIR'!"

Stenhoosemuir's official site states:
"To avoid any confusion this fixture has NO connection with Newcastle United FC
It is purely A team coming up from Newcastle to play a trial game!"


"JAWMANY CAALLIN'!?"

CHEMNITZER'S GROOND (SOMEWHERE!?) IN JAWMANY

TWO? JAWMAN FRIENDLIES??---plus ONE in AUSTRIA???

There is STILL NE official conformation from NUFC az to wetha a NUFC forst team friendly haz been arranged against thord division Jawman side Chemnitzer with the proposed date for this fixture against them bein' Friday the 13th of July in their Gellert Strabe stadium @ '6:30 bells' this comin' Friday!

We havvent got a clue just who they are or where they play, but yi can 'rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will be there (hopefully!) to bring yoo a new groundhoppers match report IF it happens! 

Aalso reported iz a rumoured friendly against French side Monaco which could be played somewhere in Jawmany az well! (possibly 'behind closed doors', 300 miles and SIX hours by train from Chemnitzer!?) (we've done wor homework!)---az well az a friendly against Torkish side Fenebache in Austria!

  
"NO WAY---USA!"

There's very disappointin' news for wor north American 'Toon Army' cousins, az wor proposed pre season game against AC Milan in Pittsburgh haz been caalled off.

Wor rovin' 'Geordie Times' reporter sent us this 'exclusive' news a little while back from 'The Pittsburgh Post'

"A proposed soccer match at 'Heinz Field' featuring popular European professional club AC Milan has been called off!
Local organisers, including The (Pittsburgh) Steelers, apparently want more time to promote the event and are eying a game in 2013 instead, said a sauce with knowledge of the negotiations.

AC Milan first announced an August 4th friendly on it's website. The date was subsequently changed to August 3rd because of a schedule conflict at the stadium.

NEWCASTLE UNITED was billed as a tentative opponent. The Steelers however, never signed off on the match for this year and AC Milan is looking for a replacement match!"

REMEMBER!---yi read this 'exclusive' news forst in 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'! 

News aalso reaches 'The Geordie Times' that wor proposed tour of Sooth Africa HAZ NOW BEEN CANCELLED for financial reasons.
Proposed sponsors 'Vodacom' have apparentlee pulled oot and 'The Geordie Times' 'exclusive' source said >>>>>>>>>>>                                 

"As far as I know the tournament is out!.
'Vodacom are NOT sponsoring the tournament this year and as a result of that it has been cancelled!
The talks have stopped and there is no way it will take place this year as it is late!"

"GET THE SUN TAN LOTION OOT!"

However!---News haz now been conformed that we WILL definately play in 'The Algarve Tournament' in Portugal at the end of July

^ "IT'S AALL GREEK TO ME!" ^

Greek club Olympiakos'sss website 'claim' that 'The Toon' ARE to play in Portugal in the 'Algarve Tournament' against THEM, and FC Porto iz TRUE!
The tournament iz set to start on 26th July with Olympiakos playin' FC Porto

We start wor involvement on the Saturday 27th July when we will play FC Porto in 'The Algarve Stadium' near Faro and then the followin' day we play Olympiakos at the same venue!

The game against Sportin' Lisbon at aroond that time STILL HAZZENT been conformed (so divvint waste yer money and book any flights yet!)

CARDIFF CITY 'REDWINGS'!???

News that we are to play a pre season friendly @ Cardiff  will be controversial to say the least, az the clubs new far east owners have changed the home strip from blue to RED! after 113 years of history, which (not suprizingleee!) haz caused ootrage amongst their followers!
It just gans to show that an owner can de wot the hell he likes! (and don't WE just know it!)


The latest NUFC pre season fixture news iz az follows. Theeze are aall CONFORMED fixtures!

The Toon's U16's are competin' in a tournament in Northern Ireland in July for all yeez exiled Toon fans ower there! (venues and kick off time have now been conformed! (see below!) 

Thorsday 18th Joon @ '9:00am bells'
Premya Leegue fixtures released for 2012-2013 season

Saturday 14th July
Toon U18's v Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool U18's
@ Little Benton @ 11:00am bells'---Friendly

THE TOON U16's ARE PLAYIN' HERE!

Saturday 21st July
County Fermanagh U 16's v Toon U16's
@ Ferney Park, Ballinamallard, Northern Ireland ('5 bells')---Milk Cup

Monday 23rd July
Pachau U16's (Mexico) v Toon U16's @
Ballymena Showgrounds, Ballymena, Northern Ireland---Milk Cup ('6 bells')

Tuesday 24th July
CSKA Moscow U16's (Russia) v Toon U16's
@  Riada Stadium, Ballymoney, Northern Ireland---Milk Cup ('7 bells')

Milk Cup Finals on Thorsday July 26th

Friday 27th July
FC Porto v The Toon (forst team) @ 'The Algarve Stadium', near Faro, Portugal @ '8:45pm bells' 
Saturday 28th July
Olympiakos v The Toon (forst team) @ The Algarve Stadium @ '8:45pm bells'

Wednesday 1st August
Gatesheed 'Heedbangers' v Toon Resorves
@ Gatesheed Stadium @ '7:30pm bells'

Friday 10th August
Draw for Europa Leeegue play offs

Saturday 11th August
'Cardiff REDWINGS' v The Toon (forst team)
@ Cardiff 'REDWINGS' Stadium @ '3:00pm bells'

FROM 'BLUEBIRDS TO 'REDWINGS'!

Saturday 18th August
Premya Leegue season begins

Wednesday 22nd or Thorsday 23rd August
Europa Leegue play offs 1st leg
Wednesday 29th or Thorsday 30th August
Europa Leegue play offs 2nd leg
(Venues and opponents TBC!)

Otha fixtures in the pipeline include a friendly against AC Milan in the USA, but this haz yet to be conformed!

A Resorve/Junior friendly against FA Vase winners Dunston UTS iz aalso planned but ne date for this haz been annoonced yet!

We'll keep yoo posted on any more fixtures when they are released!---az usual!---watch this space! 

"NO ONE LIKES US!---IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Posted '3:00pm bells' Thorsday 5th July 2012

Fixture changes for live telly mean that we must now play Chelski in wor forst away Premya Leegue game @ 5:30 bells on a Saturday.

'The Toon' had requested that the game be put back til the Sunday az we will be playin' in Europe just two days orlier on the Thorsday neet, but the Metropolitan Police objected sayin' that they had otha events on that day to police.

'The Toon' then requested that UEFA put wor Europa game back a day, but were refused permission to do so!

This means that shud we be playin' away on the Thorsday neet in somewhere like Azerbijan or Isreal, fans will probably have to gan straight to London for anotha TWO neet stay because of the kick off time! (ie: we'd be too late to catch the last train from Kings Cross on the Saturday neet!)

On top of that of course iz NUFCs refusal to let fans naa wot their full pre season plans are regardin' rumoured games in Jawmany, Austria, Holland and Portugal!

That's!----'The Met Dibbles'---UEFA---and indeed wor OWN CLUB conspirin' against us!

Yet again it's the loyal fans who will suffer!

Millwaall fans have a song which gans:
"No one likes us!---we don't care!"

Mebeez WE shud have one az well!---
"NO ONE LIKES US!---IT'S NOT FAIR!"

GEORDIE TIMES***RECORD BREAKER!

Posted 11:35am bells' Wednesday 4th July 2012

Last month 'The Geordie Times' had it's most hits ever with 2,405 of yoo loggin' in to give us an average of ower 80 hits per day!

Wor lowest number of hits was 53 in one day which is the highest lowest number ever, ower a one month period (if yi see wot we mean???)
Thank yoo aall for your loyal support, wherever yoo may be!

The Top Ten countries and territories oot of the 127 who have viewed this website (plus Mars!) are az follows (az of 9:00pm bells Tuesday)

1 UK (England,Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales) 17,941
2 USA 5,179

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

3 The Guinness Republic 748
4 Greece 700
5 Jawmany 650
6 Ukraine 304
7 Russia 303
8Nigeria 275
9 Australia 235
10 Holland 231

Updated '10:40am bells' Monday 2nd July 2012

"In conjuction with last neets Euro 2012 final in The Olympic Stadium, Kiev, where Spain hammered Italy
4-0---we bring yooo!---'KIEV 1997!'---'the mad-sad groundhoppers' visit!"
(see below!)

EURO 2012---PUB PLONKIES AND 'CAN OF CARLSBURG ON THE COUCH', POTATOES, TELLY GUIDE!

Final update '10:50am bells' Monday 2nd July 2012 

OLYMPIC STADIUM KIEV IN 1997

"ENGLAND EXPECTS!---AND GOT EXACTLEEE WOT WAZ EXPECTED!"

The Euro 2012 Championships final waz tooneet of course and 'The Geordie Times'  produced ower the last 3 weeks a compreeehensive TV guide for yoo to cut oot and keep for aall matches!

The final  at The Olympic Stadium in the Ukraine capital of Kiev @ 7:45 bells and az we now naa, SPAIN hammered ITALY---4-0---and just in case yi wonderin'---oh yes!---'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here az well! (TWICE in fact!) to watch The Toon in The Champions Leegue!
England, of course beat Sweden here last Friday (just!) in the now reduced 60,000 capacity rebuilt stadium (It waz faallin' apart when we were last here 10 years ago!)  

To coincide with the final, aa'm deein' a 'match report' of wor forst visit here in 1997, when 'Bill Quay Kev' drank a full bottle of vodka before the match in a bar ootside the groond!
He didn't get in 'til half time and fell asleep in the 2nd half and MISSED the game! which ended 2-2, with unlikely hero John Beresford gettin' both wor goals. (aall that way for nowt!)

'Sensible' 'me'!?--on the otha hand!, ended up in the KIEV END! in the 100,000 crowd that day, afta gettin' completlee lost tryin' to find the Toon fans tornstiles!
It'll be well worth a reeed---aa promise yoo! 

PS: Just finished the nightshift truck run from Gatesheed to Glasgow and back.
Gannin for some much needed kip now and aa'll put the Kiev groundhoppin' story online when aa get up at teatime!----"ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!"
(see above!)




(THE EURO 2012 TV STORY SO FAR!)

Friday 8th Joon

Poland v Greece @ 5 bells on BBC1
1-1 draw***Attendance:56,826

Russia v Czech Republic @  7:45 bells on ITV1
Russia won 4-1***Attendance: 37,348 

Saturday 9th Joon

Holland v Denmark @ 5 bells on BBC1
Denmark won 1-0***Attendance: 56,826

Jawmany v Portugal @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Jawmany won 1-0***Attendance: 33,951

Sunday 10th Joon
Spain v Italy @ 5 bells on ITV1
1-1 draw***Attendance: 43,615

The Guinness Republic v Croatia @ 7:45 bells on ITV1
Croatia won 3-1***Attendance: 43,200

Monday 11th Joon
France v ENGLAND @ 5 bells on ITV1
1-1 draw***Attendance: 42,000

Ukraine v Sweden @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Ukraine won 2-1***Attendance: 60,000

Tuesday 12th Joon
Greece v Czech Republic @ 5 bells on ITV1
The Czechs won 2-1***Attendance: 35,213

Poland v Russia @ 7:45 bells on ITV1
1-1 draw***Attendance: 53,617


Wednesday 13th Joon
Denmark v Portugal @ 5 bells on ITV1
Portugal won 3-2***Attendance: 34,915

Holland v Jawmany @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Jawmany won 2-1***Attendance: 38,633



Thorsday Joon 14th
Italy v Croatia @ 5 bells on BBC1
1-1 draw***Atendance: 37,096

Spain v The Guinness |Republic @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Spain won 4-0***Attendance: 38,633



Friday Joon 15th
Ukraine v France @ 5 bells on ITV1
France won 2-0***Attendance: 48,000

Sweden v ENGLAND @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
England won 3-2***Attendance: 64,640



Saturday 16th Joon

Czech Republic v Poland @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Czechs won 1-0***Attendance: 41,680

The Czechs gan through to the knockoot stage
Poland gan oot!


Greece v Russia aalso @ 7:45 bells on BBC3
Greece won 1-0***Attendance: 55,614

Greece gan through to the knockoot stage
The Russians gan oot!


Sunday 17th Joon


Denmark v Jawmany @ 7:45 bells on ITV4
Jawmany won 2-1***Attendance: 35,000

Jawmany gan through  to the knockoot stage
The Danes gan oot!




Portugal v Holland aalso @ &:45 bells on ITV1
Portugal won 2-1***Attendance: 38,633

Portugal gan through to the knockoot stage
The Dutch gan oot!


Monday Joon 18th

Croatia v Spain @ 7:45 bells on BBC3
Spain won 1-0***Attendance: 38,371

Spain gan through to the knockoot stages
The Croats gan oot!

Italy v The Guinness Republic aalso @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
ITALY WON 2-0***Attendance: 44,416

Italy gan through to the knockoot stages
The Guinness Republic were aalready oot!



Tuesday 19th Joon

ENGLAND v Ukraine @ 7:45 bells on ITV1

England won 1-0 and will play Italy in the knockoot stages  in Kiev on Sunday!***Attendance: 51,504

Sweden v France aalso @ 7:45 bells on ITV4

Sweden won 2-0 but it's the French who gan through to play Spain in Donetsk on Saturday!***Attendance: 65,000



Thorsday Joon 21st

Qwaata finals
Czech Republic v Portugal @ 7:45 bells on ITV1
Portugal won 1-0 and progress to the 'semis'***Attendance:55,590




Friday Joon 22nd

Qwaata finals
Jawmany v Greece @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Jawmany easily won 4-2 and progress to the 'semis' (possible opponents---ENGLAND!)***Attendance: 38,751



Saturday Joon 23rd

Spain v France @ 7:45 bells on ITV1
Spain won 2-0***Attendance: 47,000



Sunday Joon 24th

ENGLAND v Italy @ 7:45 bells on BBC1

0-0 after extra time----Italy won 4-2 on penalties!
and progress to 'semis'----England fly home with NE FANS to great them at the airport! (wot does THAT tell yiz!?)***Attendance: 64,340


Personally!--we  gave England 'ne chance' of winnin' it, despite their 'lucky' 1-0 win against Ukraine last Tuesday neet, with yet another 'ower the line' 'no goal' for the joint hosts! (although it WAS offside!---like!)
It waz possible we could beat Italy of course---BUT!---the dreaded penalty shootoot defeat (for the SEVENTH time!) meeenz that we must say 'goodbye to yet anotha tournament! 



Wednesday 27th Joon

Portugal v Spain @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
0-0 after extra time---Spain won 4-2 on penalties and progress to the final on Sunday ***Attendance: 48,000



Thorsday 28th Joon

Jawmany v Italy @ 7:45 bells on BBC1
Italy won 2-1 and progress to the final on Sunday against Spain 


THE FINAL!

SPAIN v ITALY on both BBC1 and ITV 1 @ 7:45 bells! (take your pick!)
Spain easily won 4-0 to pick up the trophy once again!***Attendance: 63,170



We've said aall alang that the final would be between Spain and Jawmany and we were bang on course with wor prediction!---However!-- Italy have spoilt wor party, so it's just az well we didn't have a fiver on that to happen!

ENGLAND EXPECTS!

Posted 8:35am bells' Sunday 24th Joon 2012

'THE JUNCTION' WAATERIN HOLE IN THE HAYMARKET!


The eyes of the world will be on Kiev toneet where ENGLAND take on Italy in the semi finals of Euro 2012.
The whole of Tyneside iz rootin' for the boys in white!---but can they de it!???----we'll let yi naa aroond aboot 'ten bells' toneet! (or a bit later if it's a penalty shoot oot!

SOMEWHERE IN DUNSTON!

BLACK AND WHITE DAFT FANZINE ISSUE 10***NUW ON SALE!

Posted '6:45am bells' Saturday 23rd Joon 2012

The latest issue of 'Mad Mick's fanzine 'Black and White Daft' iz nuw on sale from hiz shop in St Andrews Street (opposite The Newcastle Arms and within eazy 'hocklin distance' of St James' Park!)

'The Geordie Times' 'House of Horrors' trip to Watford in 1984 iz included az well az the usual anti SMB stuff!

It's well worth a reeed for the 'price of a pint' in The Newcastle Arms and 'The Geordie Times onterage' will be there at some point on Saturday for 'liquid refreshments' (etc!) if yi fancy a 'gargel' with us!?
The story from Watford which we published on-line the otha week can be viewed below!
(Thoze of yoo who are of a norvous disposition---look away now!) 

THE GEORDIE OLYMPICS 2012!

Updated '9:00am bells' Thorsday 21st Joon 2012

Just in case yiv been on a distant planet for the last few months!---St James' Park iz one of the venues hostin' the Olympic Football Tournament in July, az the logo on the Tyne Bridge clearly states!

(SOMEWHERE ON THE PLANET MARS!)

"The Toon have got the Olympics!"---"like!"--- "Take me to your leader!"---"Whey aye maan!"

PS: The Olympic committee wouldn't let the Olympic torch gan past the Milburn Stand on Barrack Road or de a lap of honour aroond the pitch az 'The Fat Controllers' advorts hadn't been removed!
Ne advertisin' iz allowed durin' the Olympics apart from THEIR OWN! (that 'rings' true!)

"USA!---AALL THE WAY!---5,000 THANK YOOOZ!"

Posted 10:00pm bells' Sunday 17th Joon 2012

Fantastic news from the USA!--az wor friends from across the little pond have just visited 'The Geordie Times' website  for the
FIVE THOOSANDTH TIME!

And az yoo can see!---the celebrations in New York have started aalready!!!

We thank each and every one of yoo for your loyal support 'TOON ARMY USA'!

NUFC PREMIER LEAGUE FIXTURES 2012-2013-***TOMORROW MORNIN'!

Posted 6:20pm bells Sunday 17th Joon 2012

ST JAMES' PARK FROM LEAZES PARK LAKE

Tomorrow mornin' @ '9 bells' the Premya Leegue fixtures are released for the new season and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will have the complete list on line by dinnertime!

Of course---oot of the 38 fixtures aroond 30 will be probably be moved because of live telly or European involvement, so in a way, it's a complete waste of time printin' them az they are boond to be changed!
Neverthelessss!--we WILL print them in some kind of 'cryptic form' (to avoid copyright infringements!---we divvint want to be sued!) and we'll give yoo some clues to just who the teams are somewhere on the page!

WATCH THIS SPACE FROM 'NINE BELLS' IN THE MORNIN'!