THE MOAN U MUPPETEERS V THE TOON*** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Boxin day 2025

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE!

This game at the TOM (Theatre Of Muppets) iz the anly Premyaa Leegue game today, so why oh why iz it a ‘8:00 bells 🔔’ tooneet and not this afternooon?

They really don’t give 2 monkeys 🙈 🙈 fcuks aboot us!—do they?

With nee trains 🚂 X runnin’ today we’ve had nee choice to drive to Mancland in ‘mee canny 9 seater Tranny’ ⬇️

This will be Steady Eddie's 200th game in charge of NUFC and in that time he haz avoided relegation against aall the odds, qualified for The Champions Leegue TWICE, been to Wembley TWICE, winnin The Leegue Cup last season —-and of course we are in the semi finals for the 3rd year in a row!

If it wasnt for the fact that a certain player downed tools and upset the apple cart, then we would surely be in the top 4 at least!

Anyway!---we gan into this game havin won here 2-0 last Decembaa and hopefully we can repeat that win in front of the SKY cameras this evenin'!?

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime ower the weekend!

THIS PHOTO ON THE NUFC OFFICIAL WEBSITE SHOWS US IN BLACK N WHITE STRIPES AT OLD TRAFFORD!—IF THIS IZ THE CASE THEN IT WILL BE THE FIRST AWAY GAME IN THE PREMYAA LEEGUE THIS SEASON THAT WE WILL HAVE WORN WOR HOME COLOURS! (Aall the rest have been in eethaa wor green strip or dark blue strip!)

*********THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS*********

ON THE 12th DAY OF CHRIST-MAS!

JOE HARVEY ^ SAID TO MEEE!

TWELVE! ^ ALAN FOGGON!

ELEVEN! ^ JACKIE SINCLAIR!

TEN! ^ JIMMY SCOTT!

NINE! ^ WYN 'THE LEAP'!

EIGHT! ^ POP ROBSON!

SEVEN! ^ KEITH DYSON!

SIX! ^ BOBBY MONCUR!

FIVE! ^ Mc-NAAA-MEEE!

FOUR!  ^ TOMMY GIBB!

THREE! ^ FRANKY CLARK!

TWO! ^ DAVY CRAIG!

AND!  Mc-FAUL ^ IS OUR GOAL-EEE!

*'Smokin' Joe Harvey was captain of the NUFC team which won the

FA Cup in 1951 and 1952.

He then went on to become manager in the 1960's and won

the Inter Cities Fairs Cup in 1969.

Aall the players mentioned played some part in that campaign

TWO MILLION REASONS TO BELIEVE!

 🎄Posted ‘3:41pm bells 🔔’ Xmas Eve 2025🎄

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

The Geordie Times haz reached a new milestone and haz just received its TWO MILLIONTH PAGEVIEW today! (Or shud that be MILLSTONE?)

We thank each and every one of yoo who have visited this website ower the last few years a very merry Xmas and a happy New Year! 🥳

165 countries and territories includin 2 planets have visited this site so far! (The planet Earth and the planet MARS!)

It haz taken little ower 3 months to record half a million more  'hits', since we reached the 1,500,000 mark on Septembaa 11th this year!

Once aagain thank yoo for keepin the faith!  

“INSTANT KARMA!”

Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Munday 22nd Decembaa 2025

Which former NUFC footballer does this John Lennon song remind you of ? 🤔 ⬇️ 

THE TOON 2. THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘1.17pm 🔔 bells’ Sunday 21st December 2025

“REF FARCE👓VAR FARCE!” 👓 

A game we should have won woz denied by the ref and VAR when Anthony Gordon woz shoulder charged in the box in the 2nd half by Chalbah, but the ref Madley, amazingly waved the protests away az Gordon crashed into the advertising hoarding from the challenge—-and amazingly VAR aalso said it woz a fair challenge and wasn’t a penalty! “Side to side shielding!” woz the VAR verdict!? (A message to the Madley the ref and Bankes on VAR: ‘Specsavers’ are deein some canny deals this week!) 👓  (See bottom of page!) ⬇️

We started off so well in the forst half and took the lead in the 3rd minute when Nick Waltemade wellied in from a rebound off their goalie, to put us 1-0 up at The Leazes End!

It got much better in the 20th minute when Waltemade got hiz 2nd from a Anthony Gordon cross, when he stabbed the baall into the net! 2-0 to us!— Waltemade had another chance to claim hiz hat-trick a few minutes later, but hiz shot went agonisingly wide of the post!—HT 2-0 and we were cruising!

Of course this IZ NUFC and when Chelseee were given an undeserved free kick from 25 yards, it woz converted by James, az Ramsdale in the Toon goal woz unable to reach it! 2-1 to us!

And then the Anthony Gordon penalty incident, which would have sealed the victory, but we were denied by incompetent officials!

Then in the 66th minute, Malik Thiaw slipped and this put Pedro clean through and he made nee misstayk placing the baall beyond Ramsdale! 2-2

Harvey Bannes then missed a glorious chance to put us 3-2 up, but hiz shot just went wide of the post!

In the 5th minute of stoppage time Harvey Barnes woz pulled back on the edge of the box by James when he woz clean through, but again the ref said no free kick, which woz confirmed by VAR, who said: “It woz only a little tug!” by he Chelseee man! (Surely ‘a little tug’ iz still an offence?)

There were nee more incidents and he game ended aall square!

Thats 13 points we have now dropped this season from winning positions!—NUFC would be 3rd top if we had won those games!

Madley and VAR should hang their heads in shame at those diobolical decisions! The worst ref we have had for many a year!— And az for VAR! CORRUPT!🥶

Attendance: 52,226( 3,200 from west London)

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THE TOON V THE PENSIONERS *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘7.00pm 🛎️ bells’ Friday 21st err! 19th Decembaa 2025

“OPEN AALL HOURS!”

The ridiculous ‘12.30 bells 🔔’ kick off tomorrow dinnaatime against Chelseee for live telly, wont stop Toon fans from enjoying an orly few gargels, az most ‘liquid lubrication locations’ in the city centre are opening orly for some serious ‘tonil ticklin time’!

And with 131 to chose from, it’s a no brainer!⬇️

PS:,Since this woz ⬆️published, Everton have moved 2 miles to Bramley Moore Docks, where there are just a handful of boozers!

We can anly hope that The Toon are ‘up for it’ az we gan for wor 9th win in the last 10 home games, in aall competitions! (Won 8, drawn 1)

Aalso!—We have beaten The Pensioners (their old nickname) 4 times in a row at SJP (3 in the Premyaa Leegue and 1 in the Leegue Cup!)

CHELSEA V NUFC 1914 PROGRAMME WITH ‘THE PENSIONER’ ON THE FRONT COVER!

IF we win it will propel us into the top half of the Premyaa Leegue table and within touchin distance of a Champuons Leegue place!

With a huge injury list with 7 players currently crocked, it could well take its toll with NINE games in January in 4 different competitions, comin’ up very soon indeed! (And a possible 8 in February!)

Anyway!—There will be a Geordie Times match report on the game sometime on Sunday!

APU “Watch this space!”

THE TOON 2. THE COTTAGE PIE MOB OF FULHAM 1 *** LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL

 Posted just after ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Thorzday 20th Decembaa 2025

“I’D WALK A MILLION MILEYS FOR ONE OF YOUR 😊 SMILEYS!”

The real NUFC torned oot last neet and put in a much better performance than we did on Sunday!

The fans were onside and gave the team a great reception az they ran oot!

For the forst time since he signed on deadline day, striker Yohane Wissa woz in the startin line up and within 10 minutes he woz on the scoresheet, when he woz on hand to side foot the baall into the net at The Leazes End, after Lehome in the Fulham goal had parried a cross from  Jacob Murphy straight to Wissa and made nee misstayk from close in! 1-0 to us!

The lead didn’t last lang however, az just 6 minutes later The Cottage Pies equalised from a powerful heeder by Lucic from a Robinson cross! 1-1

There were chances at both ends after this, but the sides went in level at the break!

We tried in vain for another goal in the 2nd period—and just when it looked az though the game would gan to a penalty shootout, wor teenager hero of the day Lewis Miley, (who had played az a full back because of wor injury list) heeded home at The Gallowgate End in the 2nd minute of 6 added in stoppage time, from a Sandro Tonali corner, to the relief of the crowd!

Hiz broad smile said it aall, az he celebrated in front of The Gallowgate faithful! (see photo above!)

In total 8 added minutes were added, but we nervously held oot to clam a place in the 2 legged semi final!

We watched the draw in The Bodega boozer, and drew The Blue Moonies of Mancland! The 1st leg next month will be at SJP in mid January, which might be a good thing if we can somehow take a lead to their place, orly in February! (NUFC have aalready beaten them 2-1 at SJP this season)

The non stop roller coaster 🎢 iz at the ‘high point’ on the track, after bein ‘very low’ last Sunday!

Attendance: 51,301 (1,700 from west London allegedly? They were only in 2 sections of The Leazes End, which holds 500 a section!)⬇️

*Happy 🤪👍 fans leave the groond!⬇️

THE TOON V THE COTTAGE PIE MOB *** LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 17th Decembaa 2025

PITT STREET, FROM THE MILBURN STAND LEVEL 7 CONCOURSE!

“LONDON OR MANCHESTER!?”

Followin Sunday’s debacle at the SOS 💩 we must pick worsels up and  hope that THAT game doesn’t come back to haunt us tooneet!

The question on everybodys 👄 lips IZ—which NUFC will turn up?

I for one honestly divvint naa!

Let’s hope we are in fightin mode and not in surrender mode!

For make nee misstayk, lose tooneet and lose at home to Chelsea on Saturday, then Eddie’s job will well and truly be on the line!

We at The Geordie Times divvint want this to happen of course, but it iz a possibility!  

The PIF don’t want a team in the bottom half of the Premyaa Leegue and will not be happy if we are knocked oot at the qwaataa final stage, or lose to Chelsea!

IF we beat Fulham, then it will eethaa be a London team ( (TheArse, Palace or Chelsea) or Man City, who we will meet in the 2 legged semi final!

Then there’s the little case of wor ever growing injury list! Dan Burn iz added after gettin a rib broken in Sunday’s game when he woz kneed by a dirty mackem player, who should have been sent off for hiz challenge! (He aalso haz a lung 🫁 problem because of this!🥶)

Burn iz added to Botman, Trippier, Lascelles, Osula, The Pope and Krafth on the treatment table, az wor squad get weaker by the week!

The relentless pressure of 2 games every week iz definitely takin its toll on wor thin squad and Eddie!

It’s win or bust time folks!⬇️

378 ulrich-haberland stadion, leverkusen, germany (v leverkusen u19s)

 Grovelling apologeeez for the very late posting of this match report, which woz played 6 days ago, before wor Champions Leegue game against Bayer Leverkusen in Jawmany!

This IZ The GeordieTimes — with the hell did yoo expect?

****************************

Ground number 378 (379 including Motspur Park from outside)

Date of First Visit: 9th December 2025

Ulrich-Haberland Stadion, Leverkusen, Germany

Bayer Leverkusen U19s 2

Newcastle United U19s 1 (Fitzgerald)

UEFA Youth League, game 6

Attendance: 563 (est 150 Toon fans) (plus 6 or 7 watchin from vantage points ootside the stadium)

SPOT THE STADIUM?---TOON U19s IN WOR GREEN AND WHITE CHANGE STRIP!

“WHERE’S WOR MUSIC---LIKE!?”

🎵 This youth game was played in the shadows of The Bay Arena which backs on to it and it woz FREEE to get in—and yoo even got a match ticket az well!⬇️

It kicked off at ‘2.00 bells 🔔’ some 7 hours before the main game ‘next door’!

There were quite a few Toon fans in the crowd az the game kicked off and we held wor own in the orly stages of the game and nearly took the lead when Sean Neave hit the post at 'The Motorway End' ⬇️

Then, deep into stoppage time, Leverkusen's Culbreath heeded home to put them 1-0 up at the break, to loud music ower the speakers celebratin Leverkusen's opener!

The 2nd half woz a bit different az Leverkusen's youngins got on top--and sure enough they doubled their lead through Pohl with a fine strike in the 52nd minute! (Loud music again!)

There were a few ‘freebeez’ watch from ootside the groond behind the left hand goal from where we were! (It woz free anyway, so they didnt have to watch it from ootside the groond???⬇️

3 subs were brought on in the 64th minute, Kyle Fitzgerald, Kacey Wooster and Mason Miley, the younger brother of Lewis Miley, who would play 'next door' later on in the evenin! 

This seemed to galvinise the team and sure enough we hit back in the 72nd minute when sub Kyle Fitzgerald hit a great shot past their goalie to half the deficit! 2-1 to them!

Nee loud music followed wor goal, which angered a Toon fan beside me, who shouted, "Where's wor music---like!?"

However!---we couldnt find the equaliser and the game ended in yet another UEFA Youth Leegue defeat!---Wor 6th oot of 6 games played, to leave us finishin' (not suprizingly!) in joint bottom place in the table! 

*