THE TOON v SPORZ *** TOMORROW DINNAATIME!

 Posted '2:30pm bells' Friday 12th April 2024

VIEW OF SJP FROM THE ROOF OF HADRIANS TOWER-- THE TAALLEST BUILDIN' IN THE TOON (PHOTO TAKEN BY 'WOR LASS'!)

We heed into the final 7 games of the season with a home game against Sporz in a '12:30 bells' kick off for the benefit of the tellywatchers on TNT!

Joe Willock iz unlikely to play az he haz a 'knock' and Lewis Haall iz also a doubt! It iz vital that we get at least one point oot of the game, but with the injuries we have it will be tough against a Sporz side hopin to qualify for The Champions Leegue!

In wor case its a chase for a Europa Leeage or Conference place and 7th position shud dee it! (We are currently in 8th position---just 2 behind Moan U in 6th!--and 1 point behind The Jellied Eels Mob in 7th---but we have a far superior goal difference to both!)

Honestleeee! It's a miracle that we are within touchin distance of Europe, with at least 11 key players still oot! 

One peeece of great news we can bring yoo, iz that Joelinton haz signed a new lang torm deal! (He’s one of the injured—-of course!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

As wonder wot ‘event’ they meeen???🤔

RONNY (THE) HUNTER RIP

 Posted '12:35pm bells' Wedinzday 10th April 2024

It iz with great sadness that we hear that 'Big Ronny' from Blakelaw haz passed away!

Ronny used to gan to the away games with me and the lads in the 70s and 80s and had a season ticket until the early 2000s!

He sat beside me in The Milburn Stand when it opened in 1988---Then in 2000 they built an extention and we moved to level 7----The forst game we went to in the upper tier we had to climb nearly 200 stairs to get to wor seats----In the days when anly disabled fans could use the lifts (anybody can use them now!)

He woz a big lad and woz knackered by the climb and said he would have to get a seat in the lower tier because of this!----So we moved to The Leazes corner!

Because of hiz job commitments he couldnt gan to many games and didnt renew a few seasons later!---I'd kept my seat in level 7 and moved back az it woz a much better view! (The seat I still sit in) 

Unfortunatlly Ronny's health deteriated and he sadly passed away last week!----Another Toon fan gone----Lost but not forgotten!

RIP BIG RONNY

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE 0. THE TOON 1 **** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted from ‘10:40am bells 🔔’ onwards, on the train from King’s Cross to The Toon

£3,000 FOR A SEASON TICKET IN THE RIVERSIDE STAND ON THE LEFT!🥶

Put it simply, yoo cannit celebrate a goal like yoo used to coz VAR might get involved and disallow it!

And that’s exactly wot happened yesterday when a perfectly good goal by Fab Schar woz ruled oot, az Dan Burn woz alleged to have pushed a Fulim player in the box in the 75th minute

Then a few minutes later Bruno hit a rocket from ootside the box through a crowd of players to finally put us 1-0 up—-or had he???

Personally aa didn’t celebrate that goal az much az Schar’s disallowed goal— just in case!

SPOT THE COTTAGE?

(While NUFC fans were charged a maximum £30---Fulim fans on the far side of the same Putney End stand were charged £71 !)

It wasn’t until Fulim restarted the game from the centre spot that aa finally celebrated with joy!

The first half woz aall Fulim and they had 3 great chances to take the lead, while wor anly chance came from Anthony Gordon who fired just wide at the opposite Hammersmith End to where we were!

THE TOON ARE IN WOR DARK BLUE AND YELLOW STRIP!

Gettin back to the 2nd half ---an amazing NINE minutes stoppage time woz added az the home side pressed for the equaliser—-actually, ELEVEN minutes were added!!!

That’s 101 minutes in total!—We survived the Fulim onslaught too take the valuable 3 points in wor quest for european futbaall again, az The Toon fan’s celebrated wildly at the final whistle!

TOON FANS WHEN THE FINAL WHISTLE BLEW!

(Some fans had to leave well before the end to catch the last train back at a ridiculous’6:00 bells’, coz of the train strike with later trains cancelled and they missed the winnin goal!)

Attendance:24,416 (2,300 Toon fans in The Putney End)

We were booked on the ‘9:00bells’ train but it woz cancelled, so we ended up stayin at a hotel near King’s Cross ❎ at an extra £65 each on top of the £100 (and 10 pence!) retorn train fare!

It ain’t cheap to follow NUFC away!

LONDON PUB CRAWL PIX!

PRESIDENT HOTEL BAR  LONDON

PS: CONGRATULATIONS TO THE OTHER TYNESIDE BLACK N WHITES —GATESHEED FC, WHO HAVE BOOKED A TRIP TO WEMBLEY IN THE FA TROPHY FINAL AT WEMBLEY NEXT MONTH BY BEATIN MACCLESFEEELD IN THE SEMIS 2-1!

“HOWAY THE HEEDBANGERS!”

🤪👍🏁

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

 Posted '2:13pm bells' Friday 5th April 2024

UNDER THE PRICE CAP, AWAY FANS CAN ANLY BE CHARGED A MAXIMUM OF £30

FULIM FANS IN THE SAME STAND HAVE TO PAY £71 FOR THE SAME BEHIND THE GOAL VIEW!---GOD NAAZ WOT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE PRICE CAP ENDS AT THE END OF NEXT SEASON???

We are off on wor travels to west London for the 4th time this season and 2nd time to Craven Cottage, where we won 2-0 in the FA Cup 4th roond 2 months ago!

It's an unusual '3:00 bells' away kick off---anly the SECOND time this season that we kick off at that time away from home (Luton woz the othaa one!)

The plan woz to get the '8:00am bells' train doon and the '9:00pm bells' train back ---BUT!---az the case haz been many many times before, theres yet anothaa train strike and the last LNER train back direct to The Toon tomorrow iz at 'SIX pm bells'!!! (The Lumo train iz fully booked!)

There iz a later LNER train, but it anly gans az far az Donny (Doncaster) which iz aboot 120 miles south of the Tyne!

This meeenz that yet again we must stop owerneet near Euston at £64 each!---with NEE brekky included in the price!

And divvint ask us just wot the team line up wll be???--with aall the injuries we can name a non startin X1 with crocked players!

The anly certainty iz that Anthony Gordon will play (God willin!🙏) after hiz suspension against Evaatin!

A Geordie Times match report on the game will be done on mee mobile telling bone on the train back on Sunday---so expect plenty of misstayks az the train jolts up the track!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

THE TOON 1. THE TOFFEE NOSES 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted ‘1:00pm bells’ Wedinzday  3rd April 2024

“DUMMER AND DUMMER!”

On Saturday we won a game we thought we’d lost and last neet we drew a game we thought we’d won!

Evaatin hadn’t won a Premyaa Leegue game since before Xmas and so it looked like an easy 3 points in wor quest for Europe!

NUFC started off well az we attacked the Leazes End and we took the lead in the. 15th minute when Isak received the baall from Harvey Barnes, he beat one defender and coolly placed the baall into the back of the net with mackem miscreant Pickford well beaten!

It haz to be said that Pickford made crucial saves after this to keep the score at 1-0 by half time!

Of course if you’re anly one goal aheed and have aall guns blazin, it just takes one chance for a poor team like Evaatin to grab an equaluser!

After Isak, Barnes, Murphy and Bruno missed glorious chances to put the game beyond doubt, Dan Burn scored but VAR said he woz offside and the goal woz disallowed!—An Evaatin defender (can’t remember who?) hit his own post—It just wasn’t wor day!

And then the sting in the tail! Lewis Hall went off injured in the 79th minute and woz replaced by Paul Dummett who had played less than 5minutes in the last 2 years----and it took him just 9 minutes to grab Evaatin’s  Ashley Young roond the neck in the box, but play continued az we attacked the Gallowgate goal!—-we’d got away with it!---BUT!---aall of a sudden VAR got involved and eventually a penalty at The Leazes End woz given to wor visitors!

Calvin-Lewin took it and aalthough Toon goalie Debravka got a hand to it, it ended up in the back of the net with full time approachin!

10 mins stoppage time woz added, but to nee avail and two points were dropped by the dum decision by Dummett to grab Ashley Young when there woz nee danger at aall!

The result keeps us in 8th place, just ootside the European places, when we could have been 7th had we won!

Evaatin have now went 13 games without a win— Their worst run in the Premyaa Leegue!

Attendance: 52,135 (3,200 Toffee Noses)

THE TOON V THE TOFFEE NOSES.*** TOONEET!

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ Tuesday 2nd April 2024

THE GALLOWGATE END FROM STRAWBERRY 🍓 LANE

The Toon play wor 2nd home game in 4 days when we take on relegation threatened Evaatin at SJP at ‘7:30 bells 🔔’!

Wor memorable 4-3 win after bein 3-1 doon at the weekend proves that unlike under Brucey we didn’t give up!  

On the less memorable side Lascelles haz ruptured his ACL in his left knee and will be oot for a minimum of 6 months—The same injury az Botman haz got!  Almiron aalso went off with a leg injury v West Ham az wor injury list gets even langer!

Livramento, Lewis Miley, Joelinton, Callum Wilson, Targett, The Pope Krafth and possibly Trippier—the list iz endless and of course Anthony Gordon iz suspended for the game tooneet against his old club and Tonali (remember him?) cannit play til next season coz of his gamblin ban!—Somehow we are 8th in the table and could climb even forthaa shud we win!?

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Wedinzday----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

THE TOON 4 THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted from 'High Noon bells' onwards Easter Sunday 31st March 2024

"STAND UP IF YOUR 4-3 UP!"

A breathtakin game with a breathtakin finish started off with The Toon takin the lead from the penalty spot after just 3 minutes at The Leazes End when Anthony Gordon woz hacked doon in the box!---A very lenghy VAR check for offside took langer than the 3 minutes played, but eventually the spot kick woz given and up stepped 'Alexander the Great’ (Isak) to send the West Ham goalie the wrang way to put us 1-0 up!

ISAK PENALTY!

The events and goal sequences after this were az follows:

17th minute: After gannin doon a few mins orlier, Lascelles iz unable to continue and iz replaced by Krafth

21st minute: A through baall finds Antonio and he fires past Dubravka in The Toon goals to level things! 

1-1

45 plus 10! Schar iz penalised and iz lyin on the pitch with hiz heed in hiz hand, but the ref lets wor visitors take a quick free kick and Kudus hits a risin shot into the net to put them 2-1 up at the break!

The game actually went on for anothaa 2 minutes after protest from NUFC players who asked the ref ,just why the free kick woz allowed to take place with Schar on the deck???

The 2nd half started off badly az well when after just 3 minutes after the restart The Jellied Eels Mob increased their lead when Bowen woz put clean through and he made nee mistayk az he fired past Dubravka!

The West Ham fans then taunted us by singin: "Stand up if your 3-1 up!" and "Sit down if your 3-1 down!"

We looked oot on wor feet but Steady Eddie pulled off a master stroke in the 57th minute when he brung on a 'hat-trick' of players in the shape of Almiron, Hall and Anderson, but Almiron lasted just 10 minutes with a leg injury and woz replaced by Harvey Barnes!

77th minute: A 2nd penalty iz given to us when Gordon iz again fouled in the box and again Isak takes the spot kick to send their keeper the wrang way and reduce the deficiet to one goal!

ISAK 2nd PEN!

And then the drama when supersub Harvey Barnes recieves a pass from Isak and he cooly puts the baall through the keepers legs to level the score at 3-3 in the 83rd minute!

And then bedlam in the 90th minute when Barnes runs doon the East Stand wing, runs to just ootside the box and hits an unstoppable shot into the far corner of the net, to lift the roof off the Gallowgate End and unbelievebly put us 4-3 up!

WINNIN GOAL CELEBRATIONS!

Gordon got a 2nd yellow card for kickin the baall away in the 92nd minute, but the 10 men managed to hang on to win the game with 11 minutes stoppage time played!

The Toon fans were in good voice az we taunted the West Ham fans with chants of "STAND UP IF YOUR 4-3 UP!" in revenge for their '3-1 stand up' chant!🤪👍🏁

On the minus side, more injuries to key players!

Attendance: 52,199 (3,000 shell shocked Jellied Eels fans!)

(Jellied eels iz a favourite delicacy in the east end of London, where West Ham are from!)

THE END GAME!

 

View from high up in The Milburn Stand with The Black and White Bull in the distance on Barrack Road!

Happy fans leave the groond!

PS: In total 23 minutes stoppage time woz added—That’s ower half a half! A 113 minutes game!—RIDICULOUS!

"DRINK! DRINK! WHEREVER YOO MAY BE!"

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Thorzday 28th March 2024

The forst game after the International break iz on Saturday at SJP when we take on The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham in a ridiculous '12:30 bells' kick off! (For live telly of course!)

But Toon fans are never beaten for pre match gargels and we can tell yoo that The Leazes End/Companions Club on Leazes Park Road iz open at '9:30am bells' on Saturday to quensh your thirsts!

If yih divvint have a ticket for the game there's a big screen in the consert room upstairs to watch it!

(Correction! They don’t have TNT telly- just Sky! so yoo cannit watch it here!)

The boozer iz on the main road behind The East Stand and iz within very eazy 'hocklin distance' of the tornstiles!

It's the cheapest place aroond the groond az well and yoo can get a pint for under £3:40, which iz a poond cheaper than nearby boozers!

Pleeeze consider them for your pre match 'session' az NUFC games are their lifeline and withoot match takings they wouldn't be able to survive!

News on possible team line ups? Livramento, Trippier and Barnes could aall return, hopefully???---While Wilson, Joelinton, Botman and Lewis Miley are aall crocked and will miss oot!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Easter Sunday!---Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

MORE INJURY WOE FOR NUFC!

 Posted '12:17pm bells' Wedinzday 27th March 2024

"WE ARE CURSED!"

Reports that Lewis Miley haz retorned home from the Ing-er-land U20s with an injured back have surfaced, and that he could be oot for 6 weeks or langer!!!

This iz yet another injury blow to the seamingleee nevaa endin list and the sooner this season iz ower the better!---Its been a total disaster for Eddie Howe and hiz backroom staff----hassint it just!  

THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON 2 CARLTON TOON 3 *** @ MORPETH TOON FC

 Posted '1:18pm bells' Munday 25th March 2024

(Match played on Saturday 23rd)

DUNSTON PENALTY WITH THE TREES WAVIN IN AGREEMENT!

"TREEMENDOUS!"

With the International break in full swing we decided to heed for Morpeth where Dunston were playin' Carlton in The Northern Premyaa Leegue East division! (And congratulations to Anthony Gordon for gettin hiz 1st Ing-er-land cap!)

Dunston's 'home game' woz bein' played here coz the Northern Premyaa leegue chiefs ORDERDED that Dunston must play AALL their home games at a different venue in March coz of the state of the pitch at Dunston!

3 of us travelled up to Morpeth on the X16 bus from The Haymarket bus station in the centre of The Toon--namely 'me' (The mad-sad groundhopper) Davy ‘The Silver Fox ‘and hiz sidekick Barbara, who are both Dunston fanatics!

We got there at 11:30am bells and the forst 3 boozers we tried to get in were CLOSED!?----The 4th one woz open but there woz neebody behind the bar az we waited patiently to be sorved!---We gave up and went back to the forst boozer we tried just before high noon bells, but it woz still shut!--(Tap and Spile)--It eventually opened 5 minutes later and we finally got some 'liquid lubrications' doon wor throats to lubricate wor tonsils!

We drank there til '2 bells' and decided to heed for the taxi rank on the main road to get a taxi to the groond, which iz a canny hike from the centre of Morpeth ((aboot 2 miles away!)

There were NEE taxis to be seen so we heeded to the bus station where there woz another taxi rank, but again NEE taxis!

We then doubled back to the forst rank and hey presto!--there woz one waitin in the rank! HORRAY!

We were whisked to Craik Park (where Morpeth Toon play) and still had time for a swift liquid refreshment before the '3:00 bells' kick off in the clubhoose!

The game started off well for 'The Bad Blue Boys' (in the aall blue strip!) az Dunston took the lead in the 14th minutes from an unfortunate own goal by Dan Brown (Not unfortunate for Dunston though!) It woz blowin' a gale and the huge conifer trees behind the far satand blew sideways like a green 'Mexican wave' and it looked spectacular (See video below when Dunston hit the post)

Not to be ootdone, Dunston aalso scored an own goal in the 44th minute when Jude Swailes put the baall into hiz own net to level things!

A contravertial penalty woz then given to Dunston and after prolonged arguments with the ref up stepped Dale Pearson to put the 'home side' 2-1 up deep into fort half stoppage time! (See penalty video at the top of the page)

It woz then off to the Morpeth clubhoose for somemore booze in the half time interval!

Carlton equalised again in the 54th minute when Hardwick beat Dan Staples in the Dunston goal with another very dubuous penalty! (Mee finx the ref gave it 'to even things up', after the contraversy of the Dunston penalty!) 

And then at the death, heartbreak for 'The Bad Blue Boys' az Carlton hit the winner to the dubulation of their 11 or so fans behind the goal!---and there woz nee way back after that!

Attendance:141 (70 or so from Dunston, 11 from Carlton and a few curious locals!)

A pre-booked taxi (we were takin nee chances!) took us back to Morpeth, where we caught the X15 back to The Toon!

And the moral of the story iz!---Divvint gan to Morpeth before 'high noon bells' az the the boozers are SHUT!

SPOT THE MEXICAN WAVE! 🌊 

NAMED AND SHAMED!—THE BOOZERS THAT WIRNT OPEN BEFORE    ‘HIGH NOON BELLS 🔔’

NAMED AND SHAMED! —THE BOOZER WITH INVISIBLE BAR STAFF!