THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON v CARLTON TOON @ MORPETH TOON FC *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 23rd March 2024

With nee Toon game ower the weekend coz of the International break, the mad-sad groundhoppers are off to Morpeth where Dunston are playin Carlton!---The Northern Premyaa Leegue have ORDERED Dunston to play aall their home games in March at anothaa groond coz of problems with their pitch!----Scandalous if yoo ask us az clubs like Dunston make nee money havin to play away, with nee gate money or bar takins etc, to cash in on!

Carlton are in the same boat and must play aall their home games away az well coz of similar pitch problems!---They are killin futbaall at the grass roots end of the pyramid! 

Get alang to your local non leegue club today and support them!----Beleeeve you me, they need the money!

THE WIZZERS OF OZ!

 Posted ‘4:54pm bells’🔔Tuesday 19th March 2024✈️ 

Az if wor injury ravaged squad of players haven’t had enough of this season —-and desperately need a rest—-we find oot that NUFC are to play 2 games in Melbourne, Australia and ‘wizz off’ on a 21,000!miles roond trip ‘doon under’,  just 3 days after wor last game at Brentfaad!

We will play Sporz in the first game on Wedinzday 22nd May at MelbourneCricketvgroond and the n a game against an A Leegue Aall Stars team 2 days later at Marvel Docklands groond, aalso in Melbourne!

This will bring the total number of games played this season to 60!

Just wot the players need “EH!?”

THE BLUE MOONS 2. THE TOON 0 *** FA CUP QWAATAA FINALS

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Munday 18th March 2024

“THE TROPHYLESS TRAIL!”

For the 69th year in a row NUFC will end the season with nee domestic trophies in the cabinet!

For a club with such huge support it’s a travesty!

Nearly 8,000 travelled doon from Tyneside and beyond to witness a predictable lack lustre performance in east Mancland— Although the 2 goals conceded were wicked deflections from Silva shots!

The forst goal came in the 13th minute when Silva's shot took a wicked deflection off Dan Burn, leavin' goalie Dubravka stranded on hiz goal line az the baall looped ower hiz heed!

And the 2nd goal came 18 minutes later when anothaa Silva shot came of Sven Botman heed and ended up in the back of the net, with Dubravka divin the wrang way!

At this point it looked az if we'd suffer a big hammerin' but it wasn't to be, with Alexander Isak missin a great chance befor the break, which would have given us at least a smaall chance of comin back!

But the truth iz that The Blue Moons are streets aheed of us and were much the better team----We had 2 shots on goal by Isak and that woz it!

This financial (UN)fair play rulin to protect 'the cartel six' iz workin a treat, with 3 of them in the semi finals of the FA Cup yet again!

And barin a miracle that Championship Coventry can beat Moan U in the semi finals, it will be an 'aall cartel' final at Wembley come May---yet again!

Arrr well!--At least it wont cost us a fortune for hotel accomidation, train fares and match tickets at £100 (Wot aa paid for a Leegue Cup final ticket last season!) come the semis next month!

Az Moan U will be in the semis, wor game against them at 'The Theatre of Muppets' due to be played that weekend, will now be moved to a midweek date! (And an owerneet stay!--So indeed that meeenz more expense!)

Attendance: 52,126 (NOT!---az there were loads of empty seats in the home sections!)

* PS: Not to be outdone by the empty home seats, some of WOR ‘fans’? made for the concourses for beer and burgers after City’s 2nd goal in the 30th minute —-and didn’t retorn til 20 minutes after the 2nd half started???

This photo woz taken 15 minutes into the 2nd period!🥶

PPS: They mayazwell have stopped at home and watched it on the telly! 📺 

The pub crawl took places in the following drinkin dens🍺🍺🍺🍺JUST 4 THIS TIME!

HEATON PARK (FOR THE 3rd TIME THIS SEASON!)

CLOUDWATER BREW CO.

TRA  RCH (TRACK BREWERY)

GREY HORSE 

THE BLUE MOONS v THE TOON *** FA CUP QWAATAA FINAL **** TOMORROW TEATIME

 Posted '6:30 pm bells' Friday 15th March 2024

VIEW OF THE PENNINES IN THE DISTANCE HIGH UP IN TIER 3 OF THE SOUTH STAND WHEN WE LOST 1-0 ORLIER THIS SEASON!

(TIER 3 AGAIN— HOPE THERES NEE ‘TEARS’😭 

The FA Cup draw that neebody wanted woz Man City away---and so!----Az yi'd expect!---Thats exactleee who we got!— Wor 6th FA Cup away tie in a row!

7,800 Toon fans will occupy tier 2 and 3 of The South Stand!

Wembley beckons for the winners in the semis and not many Toon fans Fink we will make it that far!???🤔

Anthony Gordon who haz just been caalled up into the Ing-er-land squad iz expected to start, but Trippier, Barnes, Wilson and The Pope are still crocked— az iz De Bruyne for Man City (thank God!)

We are drivin doon in The Geordie Times ‘canny tranny’ 9 seater van ⬇️ (just 4 of us) and are stopping owerneet at the same Manchester hotel for the third time this season!( once v Moan U and once v Man C in the Premyaa Leegue!)

THE GEORDIE TIMES ‘CANNY TRANNY’, COMPLETE WITH THE TYNE BRIDGES AND BLUE STAR!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer 🍺🍺🍺 report will appear here sometime on Sunday (if we win?🤪) —-or Munday (if we divvint!🥶). 

Az per usual! “Watch this space!”

THE CHELSEEE CHARVERS 3-2 THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted from '11:22amvbells' on the train back from London, Tuezday 12th March 2024

*”LONDON CULLING!”

For the 2nd time in less than a month we were beaten in the capital when we lost 3-2 to Chelseee last neet!

Worryingly Chelseee arnt even a good team theeeze days, so to concede 3 against them doesn’t bare well for wor trip to Man City on Saturday in the FA Cup qwaataa finals!

*With 4 goals conceded at The Arse last month, that’s 7 goals against us in London in 16 days and 2 goals ‘for’!

The goal sequences were az follows:

6th minute: A botched Botman clearance went straight to Palmer who hit a shot from the edge of the box which deflected off another Chelseee player (Jackson) and into the corner of the net beyond Dubravka’s outstretched arm!

*42nd minute: A Bruno through baall finds Isak who hits a fine shot into the net to level things at half time!

57th minute: Palmer latches onto a loose baall and fires past Dubravka to restore the hosts lead! 

77th minute: Substitute Mudryk rounds wor keeper to put Chelseee 3-1 up!

89th minute: Jacob Murphy reduces the deficit to one goal when he shoots at the near post from a Miley pass and his shot squeezes into net!

This woz too little too late and it ended 3-2 to the home side to complete wor misery!

To compound wor misery both Dan Burn and Anthony Gordon went off injured to add to the very lang list!

That’s 32 away goals conceded this season which iz joint worst with relegation certainties Sheff United —-and in the Premyaa Leegue era we have beaten Chelseee just once in 35 attempts! (inc cup games)—- SHOCKIN’!

Attendance: 38,752 — 3,000 below capacity.—- 3,000 Toon fans

LONDON PUB CRAWL (7 boozers visited)

THE CHELSEEE CHARVERS v THE TOON *** MUNDAY NEET

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 10th March 2024

WE WERE HERE JUST 4 MONTHS AGO IN THE LEEGUE CUP!

We heed for west London yet again for a ridiculous '8:00 bells Munday neet kick off for the benefit of the couch potatoes and pub plonkies!

Definatleee NOT for the benefit of The Toon Travellers who are forced yet again to have an owerneet stay in the capitol!

Keiron Trippier will be missin through the calf injury he picked up in the 3-0 win ower Wolves last Saturday, although Matt Targett iz in contention to retorn after injury, while Chelseee loanee Lewis Hall iz ineligable!

*We of course have played at Stamford Bridge orlier this season in The Leegue Cup when we drew 1-1 with a last gasp equalisin goal for the home side!----And agonizingleee we lost in the penalty shootout at the end!

We are on the train to King's Cross at '11:00 bells' in the mornin IF it tornz up?) and a Geordie Times match report of sorts will appear here az we travel back on the train on Tuezday mornin'!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

PS Congratulations to Gatesheed for reaching the semi finals of the FA Trophy by beatin Peterborough Sports 3-2 at Gatesheed Stadium yesterday .

The draw for the semis takes place on Munday afternooon!

The final iz at Wembley! 🏟️ 

🤪👍🏁

"SHIRK, REST AND PAY!"

 Posted '2:30pm bells' Friday 8th March 2024

"LIFE'S A BEACH!". 

“You too could have a body like me —-if  you’re not careful!”

Amanda Staveley woz speakin at an event in Saudi Arabia last neet and had some startlin and dammin things to say aboot wor former manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' when the takeower happened!

She said (and I quote) "We had a team that was ageing, A COACH THAT BASICALLY DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME TO WORK, a fanbase that was very angry and we had to take this incredible club and inject it with some life!" 

She aalso said that the club shop woz run like a jumble sale (or words to that effect!) and that commercially the revenue woz akin to a corner shop's, rather that Harrod's (or words to that effect!)

In other words, 'Brucey' wanted to gan and watch cricket in the caribbean, or lie like a beached whale in a sun kissed resort, rather than 'manage' NUFC, by givin' the players time off from trainin' when it suited him!---And of course pick up a big fat salary in the process!

A DAMMIN' INDICIMENT INDEED FROM AMANDA!  

SJP EXPANSION OR RELOCATION!?

 Posted '5:40pm bells' Wedinzday 6th March 2024

*

A MAP OF A POSSIBLE NEW STADIUM FOR NUFC REET NEXT TO SJP

*Much haz been written lately aboot the expansion or relocation of St. James' Park! But one thing wor owners must not dee iz build a stadium miles away from the city centre az this would be catastrophic for pubs, clubs and food outlets that surroond SJP

The last count there were 118 drinkin dems within walking distance of the groond!

For example take The Leazes End aka Companions Club on Leazes Park road within hocklin distance of The East Stand.

Last Saturday before and after the Wolves home game the bar and concert room were packed and they took ower £4,000 in beer sales!

In complete contrast on Sunday they had 5 customers including little old me and took the grand total of £25 in beer sales!

It’s closed from Munday to Thorzday az it’s not worth opening and if it wasn’t for NUFC fans on match days the boozer couldn’t survive and would have to close for good for the above reasons if we moved away from the city centre!

Many of the other 117 drinkin dens would aalso be forced out of business az well !

So it’s imperative <(we naa aall the big words!) that we stay in the city centre for the above reasons!

The East Stand on the left and Leazes Terrace on the right are the reasons for the non expansion of The East Stand.

Have heard that The Friends of Leazes Park are in agreement to move the facade of the grade one listed Leazes Terrace to a new site near the tennis courts in Leazes Park so we can expand The East Stand!

Wether this will actually happen iz anybody’s guess???

Meanwhile the rumours continue unabated!

More on aall this if we find anything oot!?

*PS we understand that a possible site next to The Redheugh Bride where the Arena stands haz been bought by a housing company

(The Arena iz to relocate to Gatesheed Quays near The Millennium Bridge and will be demolished)

*

THE TOON 3 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 0 ** PREMYA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 3rd March 2024

"BACK ON TRACK!"

Havin' not won at home this year and havin slipped to 10th place in the table, it woz vital that we put in a good performance against high flyin Wolves, who were 2 places above us in the table and unbeaten away from home this year az well!

Indeed NUFC did play much better than we did at Bleakburn in the FA Cup last Tuezday and certainly much better than at The Arse the week before!

The goal sequences were az follows:

14th minute: A Bruno shot iz deflected off a Wolves defender and loops nicely for Isak to heed into the net at The Gallowgate End

1-0 to 'us'! 

CROWD CELEBRATIONS AFTER ISAK'S GOAL!

33rd minute: After Dan Burn had missed a great chance to double wor lead, Jacob Murphy runs doon the wing and sends a pinpoint cross for Isak to shoot from close in---The Wolves goalie Jose Sa could anly parry it to the feet of Anthony Gordon and he makes nee misstayk to ---yes! =---DOUBLE wor lead! 

2-0 to 'us' at half time!

CROWD CELEBRATIONS AFTER GORDON'S GOAL!

52nd minute: Near the East Stand, Trippier pulls up sharply with wot looked like he pulled a leg mussil and woz replaced by Livramento---Yet another injury to add to the very lang list!

“WHERE DID YOO GET THAT HAT!?”

92nd minute: 'The Wanabeez' pressed in the 2nd half but couldnt get back into the game with a goal and it took til stoppage time to finish wor visitors off when Tino Livramento forced the baall ower the goal line from a Fabian Schar through baall and it sort of trickled ower the line to give us an infaticcc 3-0 victory!  

CROWD CELEBRATIONS AFTER TINO'S GOAL!

The win puts NUFC up to 8th in the table and a chance of European futbaall next season iz still within wor grasp! 

Attendance: 52,206 includin 3,100 Wolves followers!

*

THE TOON v WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 2nd March 2024

*1,333 REASONS TO KEEP THE FAITH WITH ‘STEADY EDDIE!”

Horrendous and unprecedented injuries have blighted wor season with 29 injuries at various stages!—-so far!

Yet we are still with a chance of European qualification and FA Cup glory—-albeit against the best team on the planet!

Wor leegue game against Wolves iz a tough one—- but every game seems to be tough az we battle on regardless!

We have won 5 oot of wor last 6 away games in 2024—-but in complete contrast we havvint won a home game so far this year, gannin into the 3rd month of 2024!

Wot will happen this afternooon at‘3:00 bells’ iz anybody’s guess???against an in form Wolves side!

It all depends on wot side Steady Eddie can put oot????

*

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"