This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Posted '6:00pm bells' Friday 2nd October 2020
Wor under fire manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz come oot with a statement, sayin that there won't be any new signings, (just possible loaneez), but that he haz a few things 'bubbling away'!
He aalso defends his tactics, claimin that he haz received undue criticism for the absolutely most boring futbaall yoo could imagine!
3 shots on goal in 3 Premyaa Leegue games, tells it's own sorry tale!
Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 2nd October 2020
Below are 2 newspaper clippings that tell us that the rule makers havvint got a f*****' clue wot they are deein'
Posted '9:00pm bells' Thorsday 1st October 2020
Followin' NUFCs narrow win ower Leegue 2 Newport last neet, we await the draw for the qwaataa finals which will take place after The Liverbirds game against The Arse ! (KO '7:45 bells')
Teams through to this stage are: NUFC, Moan U, The Blue Moonies, Brentfaad, Sporz, The Toffee Noses and The P*ss Potts of Stoke andwe have just hord that The Arse are through 5-4 on penalties after a 0-0 draw after 90 mins
The Geordie Times will bring yoo the news az soon az we find oot aroond aboot the '10 bells' mark!
Az per usual---"Watch this space!"
Updated '10:10pm bells'
"OH NO! NOT BRENTFAAD AWAY! ANOTHER NEW GROOND WE CANNIT GAN TEE!!!"
"SOMEONE UP THERE DOESN'T LIKE US!
IT'S THE BAT OUT OF HELL!"
Ground number 347 (NOT!)
Date of Mobile Phone Footage: 30th September 2020
Rodney Parade, Newport, Wales (NOT!)
Newport County 1
Newcastle United 1 (Jonjo Shelvey)
NUFC won 5-4 on penalties
League Cup 4th Round
Attendance in wor hoose: Just me watchin' on mee 'mobile'!
Official attendance: 0 (nee away fans eethaa!)
"THE BAT OUT OF HELL GAME!"
Who would ever have believed that somebody eatin' a bloody bat in China would stop 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' in their tracks!
But it certainly did! and so aa woz forced to watch the game on mee mobile phone, in wor hoose, instead of visitin groond number 347 in sooth Wales! The forst new groond of the new season!--and forst new groond a'd not been able to watch The Toon in a competitive game since missin' an FA Cup replay at Layer Road, Colchester in 1979! (A 41 year old sequence, up in smoke!)
And so it woz with a heavy heart that aa put the website code into mee phone to watch the game unfold!
And 'unfold' it certainly did after just 5 minutes on the clock when the 4th tier side took a shock lead at 'Rodders Parade' through Abrahams, who's shot 'went through' Mark Gillespie in the NUFC goal!
It looked unlikely that we would get back into the game, az, frustratingly the picture froze several times on mee tiny mobile phone screen! (that's one reason to be 'there' in person!)
We just didn't get 'oot of the blocks' az the home side clung onto their orly lead!(deservedly!)
Just when it looked az though there would be yet anothaa cup humiliation to a 'minnow', up popped Jonjo Shelvey to save the day with barely 3 minutes left on the clock with a right footed screamer from a Joelinton assist!(the picture froze just before Shelvey scored, so I missed it!--seen the replay though!)
And then to a dreaded penalty shoot out to claim a place in the qwaataa finals!
Normally NUFC lose, but not this time, for apart from Joelinton's miss the othaa 5 were convorted by Wilson, Schar, Shelvey , Murphy and Saun Longstaff, while Mark Gillespie in the Toon goal saved *Ryan Taylor's shot and Newport's Branden Cooper blazed hiz 'sudden death kick' ower the bar, for NUFC to win 5-4!---We played the 'get out of jail' card and won---for a change!
*NO! NOT the Ryan Taylor who used to play for The Toon!
PS: Bizzarly, I knew we had won it a minute before we had, az the delay time on the 'live stream' woz a minute behind and a text message on mee laptop's BBC sports page told me Newport had missed the sudden death penalty, before aa saw it, to totally spoil me enjoyment of the win! (Couldnt get live stream to work on laptop!)
Anothaa reason to be at the game 'live'!
The draw for the qwaataa finals iz later tooneet! (Thorsday)
And we will of course tell yoo just who we've got az soon az we find oot!
Posted '8:00am bells' Wedinzday 30th September 2020
Updated from 5:30pm bells onwards (KO time!)
"THE 'BAT OUT OF HELL' FINALLY COMES HOME TO ROOST!"
I aalways knew that one day I would miss a Toon game on a new groond through ill health, misfortune or tragedy!
It's 41 years since that last happened (Colchester away in 1979)
---So Colchester's Layer Road groond woz the anly one missin'!---and soon, Rodney Parade will be added to the black-list!(The missing links--or in my case, 'The missing 'Finks'!) (sic!)
And although aa havvint been to every single game since then, av been to every new groond where an NUFC team have played in a competitive game! (Includin AALL wor European away games since then)
But NEVER in my wildest nightmares did I 'fink' that one day I would miss a Toon game on a new groond coz somebody in China had eaten a bloody bat!
(That 'one day' iz now upon us!)
Of course there are many, many Toon fans and fans of different clubs who havvint missed a game for years who are in the same boat az me and YOO, thanx to the pandemic!
And so here we will be at '5:30 pm bells'! 320 miles away from Newport, on Tyneside, listenin on wor radio's or watchin on the telly and laptop's, az the game iz played oot, in front of empty stands yet again!
How much langer can this farcical situation gan on I ask myself???
Anyway! The Geordie Times will supply updates of any 'action' on the pitch az it happens in wor hoose!
UPDATES BELOW FROM '5:30pm bells' when the match kicks off!
*Latest score: Newport 1 The Toon 0 (Abrahams 5th minute)
HT still 1-0 to the Leegue 2 side!🥶
GOAL! 87th minute: Jonjo Shelvey equaliser with great right footed shot, assisted by Joelinton!
FT 1-1 penalties!
Won 5-4 on penalties! Joelinton missed hiz!
We got oot of jail for sure!
Geordie Times mobile phone match report sometime tomorrow!
Posted '6:32pm bells' Tuesday 29th September 2020
In less than half an hours time at '7:00 bells' wor U21s take on Crewe Alexandra's first team in the EFL Trophy group stage at Gresty Road! (above)
Behind closed doors of course!
But luckily 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been there before, unlike tomorrow when wor forst team play Newport Coonty away in The Leegue Cup at Rodney Parade--BCD!
The Geordie Times will give updates of the score as this evenin's game progresses!
Updates 'here' from '7:00 bells' onwards!
*KEY MOMENTS: 15 minutes played: Non so far!
HT: Nee score Toon have had ONE shot on target compared to Crewe's FOUR!
Halfway through the 2nd half---still 0-0!
GOAL!: Just az I write this, up steps Pickering with a free kick to put The Alex 1-0 up!
FT: LOST 1-0 The Toon had just TWO shots on target durin the whole game! (Looks like they are takin after the forst team!)
Posted '8:00pm bells' Munday 28th September 2020
"DUNSTON PAY THE PENALTY!"
With the non leegue scene decimated by the news that aall 'steps' above 'step 3' and below 'step 6' of the futbaall pyramid must now be played behind closed doors, we are now very limited to games we can watch! (The Northern Premyaa Leegue North West Division iz 'step 4')
The crowd limits have been reduced az well, to 200 at Dunston from 400 last week and Northern Leegue games have a 150 limit! Aalso yoo have to wear a mask durin the games ootside in the open air, where its easy to social distance , but NOT inside the clubhoose while sittin doon, when fans are closer together! (whoever makes theeze crazy decisions wants their heeds examined!)
Anyway!---to the game!----To be honest it wasnt a very good game and the main talkin' points were the tales of 2 penalties---1 in the forst half for Colne which woz given, and 1 in the 2nd half for Dunston which wasn't!
The Colne penalty woz one of those which some refs give and some divvint---Unfortunatly for 'The Bad Blue Boys' it WOZ given despite protests from Dunston players that Colne player Djabi HADN'T been fouled in the box! Up stepped Charlie Russell to put the visitors 1-0 up in the 19th minute when hiz shot woz lucky to squeeze underneath Liam Connell in the home goal, and that woz the score at half time!
The 2nd half wozzint much to write home aboot eethaa and the main taakin point woz when Dunston player Liam Thear woz hacked doon just INSIDE the corner of the box!---A nailed on penalty!
But the young linesman on wor side of the pitch, who had a clear view of the incident, didnt raise hiz flag, which enraged the home players and it woz quite a bit of time before the match continued!
We were forthaa away than the ref or linesman and it woz a very bad decision, which ultimately cost Dunston the game, az there were nee more goals!
Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 28th September 2020
"THE V-A-R 'GET OOT OF JAIL' CARD!"
A totally one side forst half ended with Sporz bein 1-0 up instead of 4 or 5 az they hit the woodwork twice and if it wasnt for Karl Darlow's heroics in goal, where he made some blindin' saves, then it WOULD have been much, much worse!
In total contrast at the othaa end we didnt have one shot on target and just 2 wide shots in aall!
Amazingly, it took the home side 25 minutes to open their accoont when Lucas Moura sidefooted home from close in from a Harry Kane cross---and it looked like the floodgates would open, but the woodwork and Darlow had othaa ideas!
NUFC played a little bit better in the 2nd half but still nee shots on goal---UNTIL!---a crazy VAR decision in wor favour gave us a penalty in the 97th minute!---After a lang wait to check for offside and to see if it woz a handbaall by Eric Dier--- amazingly it woz given, even though Dier had hiz back to the baall and therefore couldnt see it!
Callum Wilson stepped up to take it and he put hiz shot to the left, with Sporz keeper just unable to stop it from gannin into the net!
This brought huge celebrations in Rosies Bar, where the Toon faithful were assembled!---"V-A-R MY LORD!--V-A-R!"
Posted '10:45am bells' Sunday 27th September 2020
NUFC pay wor 2nd ever visit to Tottenham Hotspur Stadium at '2:00 'bells' today and we can anly hope that we can repeat wor 1-0 win there nearly a year ago!
Joelinton scored hiz one and anly Premyaa Leegue away goal that day when he ran through the Sporz defence to hit a fine shot into the corner of the net in front of 3,000 delirious Toon fans in the near 60,000 crowd!
Of course this time, there will be nee crowd to watch on, and so (obviously!) we wont be in north London to watch it! Instead we will be upstairs in Rosie's Bar near SJP, which iz wor chosen 'liquid lubrication location', to watch it again!
Not sure wot the line up will be today, but we will put it online 'here'⏬, az soon az we find oot!
A full Geordie Times match report will appear 'here' sometime tomorrow!
Incidently--A match report on yesterday's game at Dunston, which we attended, will be published on Munday az well!
'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston lost 1-0 to The Colne 'Hillbillies'!
Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 26th September 2020
We are now severely limited az to games we can attend az aall games above step 3 and below step 6 will aall be played behind closed doors for the foreseeable future! Thiz meenz that apart from Toon games that we can't attend, new restrictions meen that Northern Alliance games (step 7) are to be played behind closed doors, despite fans bein' allowed in, in previous weeks!?
We are off to Dunston v Colne today, the crowd limit has been reduced from 400 to 200 for some unknown reason? And fans must wear a mask while watchin the game!
In the clubhoose fans must wear their masks when the are not drinkin!
The new 'normal'
Colne sits high up in the Pennine hills six miles from Bornley and are a 'rebirth' of Colne Dynamos who were wound up a few years ago!
Games on Tyneside we cant now gan tee include aall NUFC games from forst team to junior teams, Gatesheed, Newcasil Blue Star and Porcy Main Amataaz, for example----the latter 2 were groonds we were gannin to visit in the comin' months!
'It is wot it is' and I suppose we shud be thankful that we can still have a 'gargel' in a bar and watch a match live!
Match report to follow eethaa tooneet, Sunday or Munday---dependin on how many liquid lubrication aa have today!
"Buuurp!"
