Az NUFC have taken direct debits from fans for NEXT season, with 5 Premyaa Leegue home games still to play for THIS season, Man U promise to dee the opposite for their fans!
We leave yoo lang suffering Toon fans, to draw your own conclusions!
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Saturday, 28 March 2020
FAT CONTROLLER FAALL-OOT!
Posted '7:22pm bells' Saturday 28th March 2020
Az NUFC have taken direct debits from fans for NEXT season, with 5 Premyaa Leegue home games still to play for THIS season, Man U promise to dee the opposite for their fans!
We leave yoo lang suffering Toon fans, to draw your own conclusions!
Az NUFC have taken direct debits from fans for NEXT season, with 5 Premyaa Leegue home games still to play for THIS season, Man U promise to dee the opposite for their fans!
We leave yoo lang suffering Toon fans, to draw your own conclusions!
ONE MAN AND HIZ DOG(S) WENT TO 'A' BEER GARDEN! (Part 1)
Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 28th March 2020
1: The Quayside beer garden, Newcasil Quayside
Because we can't gan to pubs for the foreseeable future, I have decided to combine mee daily exercise with a trip to pub beer gardens instead!
I will buy broon ale at an off licence and drink it at an excesable beer garden, to stop me gannin completleee mad!
I have never been one for drinkin in the hoose, so the next best thing is to try and find a beer garden instead! (It's sad--isn't it!)
Yesterday I walked to the quayside, (keepin a social distance from othaa people of course!), for mee daily exercise! (4,920 steps from wor hoose --accordin to £2 pedometer aa bought last week for this purpose)
There, a bottle of 'DOG' woz consumed in The Quayside beer garden near The Swing Bridge ('DOG' iz Geordie slang for Newcasil Broon Ale)---az mee othaa 'dog' looked on!
Ower the next few days, and with mee faithful companion, I intend to find anothaa beer garden somewhere in The Toon, to drink mee 'dog'!---and to keep me sane, with nee futbaall to watch! (Or work to gan tee, az av been 'layed off' because of the crisis!)
AZ per usual and for more complete 'madness' "watch this space!"
PS: At this time aa shudiv been heedin for Liverpoool on a train to watch Dunston play The City of Liverpoool in a North West Coonties fixture az The Toon had nee game coz of the International break!
Of course even non leegue games are off az well, so aa had to claim mee £47 train fare back last week!---It just gets worse!
PPS: I know the situation is serious and I am keepin well away from othaa people on mee daily exercise and 'food' shopping trips! (Broon ale top of the list!)
1: The Quayside beer garden, Newcasil Quayside
Because we can't gan to pubs for the foreseeable future, I have decided to combine mee daily exercise with a trip to pub beer gardens instead!
I will buy broon ale at an off licence and drink it at an excesable beer garden, to stop me gannin completleee mad!
I have never been one for drinkin in the hoose, so the next best thing is to try and find a beer garden instead! (It's sad--isn't it!)
Yesterday I walked to the quayside, (keepin a social distance from othaa people of course!), for mee daily exercise! (4,920 steps from wor hoose --accordin to £2 pedometer aa bought last week for this purpose)
There, a bottle of 'DOG' woz consumed in The Quayside beer garden near The Swing Bridge ('DOG' iz Geordie slang for Newcasil Broon Ale)---az mee othaa 'dog' looked on!
Ower the next few days, and with mee faithful companion, I intend to find anothaa beer garden somewhere in The Toon, to drink mee 'dog'!---and to keep me sane, with nee futbaall to watch! (Or work to gan tee, az av been 'layed off' because of the crisis!)
AZ per usual and for more complete 'madness' "watch this space!"
PS: At this time aa shudiv been heedin for Liverpoool on a train to watch Dunston play The City of Liverpoool in a North West Coonties fixture az The Toon had nee game coz of the International break!
Of course even non leegue games are off az well, so aa had to claim mee £47 train fare back last week!---It just gets worse!
PPS: I know the situation is serious and I am keepin well away from othaa people on mee daily exercise and 'food' shopping trips! (Broon ale top of the list!)
Friday, 27 March 2020
THE WHEEL OF FORTUN(ATE!)
Posted '2:05pm bells' Friday 27th March 2020
"SPIN THE KEY TO SEE WOT YOO WILL DEE!"
Well it's finally happened!
I have been told that my night shift truck run to Redditch from Team Valley, Gatesheed will stop immediately and I will be in lockdown like everybody else!
The main reason iz that customers have cancelled orders and I hardly brought any carpets and flooring up last neet from Worcestershire!
However!---With nee futbaall or pubs to gan tee, a mate caalled Russ (aalso known az 'International RUSScue') haz devised a cunning plan to keep us aall occupied and stop us gannin completleee mad!!
I have copied hiz 'blueprint' and drawn a circle on a piece of card with a pin in the middle and a hoose key hangin from the pin and divided the card into sections!
30% for housework, 30% for exercise, 30% for book reading and 10% for a 'beer break'!-- and hung out on my kitchen waall.
I spun the key this mornin and amazingly it fell into the 'beer' section!
I will spin it every day and I promise to 'dee' whichever section the key points to!
Why dont yoo try it for yourself and see wot happens!
"BEST LUCK!"
Thursday, 26 March 2020
CORONA CRISIS----SO WHY ARE TRUNK ROADS SHUT?
Posted '1:08pm bells' Thorsday 26th March 2020
Aa did mee normal 440 mile 'night truck run' to Redditch in Worcestershire and back to Team Valley (Gatesheed) last neet (to pick carpets and floorin' up) and the roads were dead quiet, with aboot a qwaataa of the normal traffic on the motorways and trunk roads.
The one thing that annoyed me woz the fact that BOTH the A1M in Coonty Durham northbound and the A19 near Smogland on Tees northbound, were closed owerneet for roadworks!
These are 2 parallel roads that run north and the fact that the highways agency had closed BOTH of them at the same time, in this time of crisis, had mee dumb
-struck!
Most of the traffic on the roads were of supermarket food lorries and trucks carryin' urgent medical supplies to hospitals etc!
To slow them doon (and me!) by shuttin' major roads iz CRIMINAL at this time of crisis and the Highways Agency should be ashamed of themsels!
If roads need to be shut for repairs, then why (oh why!) can't they shut them on alternative nights, so that the trucks can get through, one way or the other?
You don't need to be the 'Brain of Britain' to work this one oot!
Aa did mee normal 440 mile 'night truck run' to Redditch in Worcestershire and back to Team Valley (Gatesheed) last neet (to pick carpets and floorin' up) and the roads were dead quiet, with aboot a qwaataa of the normal traffic on the motorways and trunk roads.
The one thing that annoyed me woz the fact that BOTH the A1M in Coonty Durham northbound and the A19 near Smogland on Tees northbound, were closed owerneet for roadworks!
These are 2 parallel roads that run north and the fact that the highways agency had closed BOTH of them at the same time, in this time of crisis, had mee dumb
-struck!
Most of the traffic on the roads were of supermarket food lorries and trucks carryin' urgent medical supplies to hospitals etc!
To slow them doon (and me!) by shuttin' major roads iz CRIMINAL at this time of crisis and the Highways Agency should be ashamed of themsels!
If roads need to be shut for repairs, then why (oh why!) can't they shut them on alternative nights, so that the trucks can get through, one way or the other?
You don't need to be the 'Brain of Britain' to work this one oot!
Tuesday, 24 March 2020
"IT'S A LOCK IN!"
Posted '1:03pm bells' Tuesday 24th March 2020
Boris delivered yet more devastatin' news last neet, when he told us to lock wor doors and stay put for at least 3 weeks!
We are allowed oot for exercise and shoppin and to gan to work if yoo are a key worker!
Az I am a truck driver I am classed as a key worker, but have a feeling that carpets and wood floorin', which I collect from Redditch in Worcestershire every week night are not high up on the list! (Yoo can't eat carpets, can yoo?)
News that the Champions Leegue and UEFA cups have been cancelled and now the Olympic games, reaches us!
How lang before they decide to cancel the rest of The Premyaa Leegue and lower Leegue futbaall?
This iz now a real prospect az playin games behind closed doors, az haz been mooted, iz surely not an option to finish the season, az 22 players, plus match officials, can hardly keep a safe 2 metres distance between themselves on the pitch, can they?
This iz hardly ideal, but if things get much worse---and they surely will---then this could gan on for a few months yet!
Who could have imagined that someone eatin the wrang kind of bat in Chinaa, could cause aall this mayhem????
Boris delivered yet more devastatin' news last neet, when he told us to lock wor doors and stay put for at least 3 weeks!
We are allowed oot for exercise and shoppin and to gan to work if yoo are a key worker!
Az I am a truck driver I am classed as a key worker, but have a feeling that carpets and wood floorin', which I collect from Redditch in Worcestershire every week night are not high up on the list! (Yoo can't eat carpets, can yoo?)
News that the Champions Leegue and UEFA cups have been cancelled and now the Olympic games, reaches us!
How lang before they decide to cancel the rest of The Premyaa Leegue and lower Leegue futbaall?
This iz now a real prospect az playin games behind closed doors, az haz been mooted, iz surely not an option to finish the season, az 22 players, plus match officials, can hardly keep a safe 2 metres distance between themselves on the pitch, can they?
This iz hardly ideal, but if things get much worse---and they surely will---then this could gan on for a few months yet!
Who could have imagined that someone eatin the wrang kind of bat in Chinaa, could cause aall this mayhem????
Sunday, 22 March 2020
THE TOON SUBBUTIOS 5 MAN U SUBBUTIOS 0 *** SUBBUTEO PREMYAA LEEGUE
Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 22nd March 2020
PRESS FOR HIGHLIGHTS
'The Geordie Times' told yoo yesterday that we had actually foond a game to gan tee to get wor Saturday 'fix' at a TOP SECRET location in the Toon!
 |
| THE NUFC SUBBUTIOS! |
Video highlights of the game appear above, between The Toon Subbutios and Man U Subbutios!
We are delighted to tell yoo that The Toon won 5-0!
The goalscorers were: Ga
Darren Subbutio Peacock (12th minute), David Subbutio Ginola (30th minute), Sir Les Subbutio Ferdinand (63rd minute), Alan Subbutio Shearer (75th minute) and Philip Subbutio Albert (83rd minute)!
Location: St. James' Subbuteo Park!
Attendance: One man (me!) and hiz 'dog'! ('dog' iz Geordie slang for Newcasil Broon Ale!)
*
Saturday, 21 March 2020
"ONE MAN AND HIZ 'DOG'!"---"WENT TO WATCH SOME FUTTY!"
Posted '6:00pm bells' Saturday 21st March 2020
HOWEVER!---I HAVE foond a game to gan tee tooneet in 'The Toon' in one hours time at '7:00 bells' at a TOP SECRET location (the same time az wor postponed FA Cup game v Man City woz due to be played!)
For obvious reasons aa cannit tell yiz where it iz, az thoosands of fans, desperate for their Saturday 'fix' like me, would torn up!
BUT---I WILL video the game for yoo, wor loyal reeders---and will post highlights of it in 'The Geordie Times' tomorrow at 'high noon bells'!
So "watch this space" at midday tomorrow!---"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
  |
ONE MAN AND HIZ 'DOG'
('DOG' IZ GEORDIE SLANG FOR 'NEWCASIL BROON ALE'!)
|
Aa told yooz last week that aa woz determined to get mee Saturday 'fix' today, even gannin doon to the grass roots level of 'The Northern Alliance', where it isn't unusual for just 'one man and hiz dog' to torn up!----But the suspension of AALL futbaall 'put me into 'meldown'---and even kids park futbaall haz been cancelled, because on the Coronavirus pandemic!
HOWEVER!---I HAVE foond a game to gan tee tooneet in 'The Toon' in one hours time at '7:00 bells' at a TOP SECRET location (the same time az wor postponed FA Cup game v Man City woz due to be played!)
For obvious reasons aa cannit tell yiz where it iz, az thoosands of fans, desperate for their Saturday 'fix' like me, would torn up!
BUT---I WILL video the game for yoo, wor loyal reeders---and will post highlights of it in 'The Geordie Times' tomorrow at 'high noon bells'!
So "watch this space" at midday tomorrow!---"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
"GHOST TOON!"
Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 21st March 2020
At precisely '5:01pm bells' yesterday, Boris dropped the bombshell in The Leazes End/Companions Club behind St. James' Park, when he told a shocked handful of customers that aall pubs and clubs would be closed for the foreseeable future and aa nearly choked on mee pint when he told us!
The Toon was 'dead' yesterday afternoon/evenin' az aa went from bar to bar, which were aall virtually empty!
ie: Aa had nee problem with 'social distancin'!
See the photos below!
 |
BORIS DELIVERS THE DEVASTATIN' NEWS IN
'THE LAST PINT SALOON'!
|
At precisely '5:01pm bells' yesterday, Boris dropped the bombshell in The Leazes End/Companions Club behind St. James' Park, when he told a shocked handful of customers that aall pubs and clubs would be closed for the foreseeable future and aa nearly choked on mee pint when he told us!
The Toon was 'dead' yesterday afternoon/evenin' az aa went from bar to bar, which were aall virtually empty!
ie: Aa had nee problem with 'social distancin'!
See the photos below!
 |
| THE BODEGA WOZ CLOSED! |
 |
| ROSIES BAR |
 |
| INSIDE ROSIES BAR |
 |
| THE STRAWBERRY |
 |
| INSIDE THE STRAWBERRY |
 |
| STRAWBERRY TOOLSHED! |
 |
| INSIDE THE LEAZES END |
 |
| INSIDE THE JUNCTION WITH MEE 'LONE PINT'! |
 |
| INSIDE THE CROWS NEST |
 |
| INSIDE THE 3 BULLS |
 |
| EMPTY CAR PARKS! |
 |
| EMPTY STREETS NEAR SJP! |
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| MASKED BANDITS IN STOWELL STREET! |
Thursday, 19 March 2020
'D' DAY LOOMING!
Posted '1:21pm bells' Wedinzday 18th March 2020
Updated '1:25pm bells' Thorsday
The Premyaa Leegue are to decide just what to dee tomorrow, in relation to the Coronavirus pandemic!
There are 3 options az far az we can see!
1: End the season now and give 'The Liverbirds' the title now and the bottom 3 at the moment, to be relegated!
2: Resume the season az soon az possible and play oot the remainder of the games left---even if it runs into August or September!
3: Declare the season null and void and start aall ower again in August!
We at 'The Geordie Times' feel that the solution iz to resume the season az soon az possible and play the remainder of the games---especially az The 2020 European Championships have been put back to 2021!
A decision will be made tomorrow---lets hope it's option '2'
"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
NEXT DAY: The Premyaa Leegue have cancelled games til April 30th at the orliest---and they DO intend to complete the season az soon az possible after that!
"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
Updated '1:25pm bells' Thorsday
The Premyaa Leegue are to decide just what to dee tomorrow, in relation to the Coronavirus pandemic!
There are 3 options az far az we can see!
1: End the season now and give 'The Liverbirds' the title now and the bottom 3 at the moment, to be relegated!
2: Resume the season az soon az possible and play oot the remainder of the games left---even if it runs into August or September!
3: Declare the season null and void and start aall ower again in August!
We at 'The Geordie Times' feel that the solution iz to resume the season az soon az possible and play the remainder of the games---especially az The 2020 European Championships have been put back to 2021!
A decision will be made tomorrow---lets hope it's option '2'
"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
NEXT DAY: The Premyaa Leegue have cancelled games til April 30th at the orliest---and they DO intend to complete the season az soon az possible after that!
"WATCH THIS SPACE!"
Tuesday, 17 March 2020
EVEN ONE MAN AND HIZ DOG CAN'T GET THEIR 'FIX' NOW!
Posted '2:07pm bells' Tuesday 17th March 2020
News that AALL futbaall from The Premyaa Leegue doon to the grass roots of The Northern Alliance iz cancelled forthwith, meenz that games at the bottom of the pyramid, normally watched by 'one man and hiz dog' are now deemed tooo risky to watch and play!
Aalso, we are told that we shud avoid pubs and clubs, and avoid unnecessary travel, meeenin' that we cannit gan anywhere now!
And aall because of somebody in Chinaa eatin' a bloody bat!
 |
| "NO GO, FIDO!" |
News that AALL futbaall from The Premyaa Leegue doon to the grass roots of The Northern Alliance iz cancelled forthwith, meenz that games at the bottom of the pyramid, normally watched by 'one man and hiz dog' are now deemed tooo risky to watch and play!
Aalso, we are told that we shud avoid pubs and clubs, and avoid unnecessary travel, meeenin' that we cannit gan anywhere now!
And aall because of somebody in Chinaa eatin' a bloody bat!
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