"IT'S A LOCK IN!"

Posted '1:03pm bells' Tuesday 24th March 2020

Boris delivered yet more devastatin' news last neet, when he told us to lock wor doors and stay put for at least 3 weeks!
We are allowed oot for exercise and shoppin and to gan to work if yoo are a key worker!

Az I am a truck driver I am classed as a key worker, but have a feeling that carpets and wood floorin', which I collect from Redditch in Worcestershire every week night are not high up on the list! (Yoo can't eat carpets, can yoo?)

News that the Champions Leegue and UEFA cups have been cancelled and now the Olympic games, reaches us!

How lang before they decide to cancel the rest of The Premyaa Leegue and lower Leegue futbaall? 
This iz now a real prospect az playin games behind closed doors, az haz been mooted, iz surely not an option to finish the season, az 22 players, plus match officials, can hardly keep a safe 2 metres distance between themselves on the pitch, can they?

This iz hardly ideal, but if things get much worse---and they surely will---then this could gan on for a few months yet!

Who could have imagined that someone eatin the wrang kind of bat in Chinaa, could cause aall this mayhem????

THE TOON SUBBUTIOS 5 MAN U SUBBUTIOS 0 *** SUBBUTEO PREMYAA LEEGUE

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 22nd March 2020

PRESS FOR HIGHLIGHTS

'The Geordie Times' told yoo yesterday that we had actually foond a game to gan tee to get wor Saturday 'fix' at a TOP SECRET location in the Toon!

THE NUFC SUBBUTIOS!

Video highlights of the game appear above, between The Toon Subbutios and Man U Subbutios!
We are delighted to tell yoo that The Toon won 5-0!
The goalscorers were: Ga
Darren Subbutio Peacock (12th minute), David Subbutio Ginola (30th minute), Sir Les Subbutio Ferdinand (63rd minute), Alan Subbutio Shearer (75th minute) and Philip Subbutio Albert (83rd minute)!

   Location: St. James' Subbuteo Park!

Attendance: One man (me!) and hiz 'dog'! ('dog' iz Geordie slang for Newcasil Broon Ale!)

*

"ONE MAN AND HIZ 'DOG'!"---"WENT TO WATCH SOME FUTTY!"

Posted '6:00pm bells' Saturday 21st March 2020

ONE MAN AND HIZ 'DOG'

 ('DOG' IZ GEORDIE SLANG FOR 'NEWCASIL BROON ALE'!)

Aa told yooz last week that aa woz determined to get mee Saturday 'fix' today, even gannin doon to the grass roots level of 'The Northern Alliance', where it isn't unusual for just 'one man and hiz dog' to torn up!----But the suspension of AALL futbaall 'put me into 'meldown'---and even kids park futbaall haz been cancelled, because on the Coronavirus pandemic!

HOWEVER!---I HAVE foond a game to gan tee tooneet in 'The Toon' in one hours time at '7:00 bells' at a TOP SECRET location (the same time az wor postponed FA Cup game v Man City woz due to be played!)

For obvious reasons aa cannit tell yiz where it iz, az thoosands of fans, desperate for their Saturday 'fix' like me, would torn up!

BUT---I WILL video the game for yoo, wor loyal reeders---and will post highlights of it in 'The Geordie Times' tomorrow at 'high noon bells'!

So "watch this space" at midday tomorrow!---"WATCH THIS SPACE!"

"GHOST TOON!"

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 21st March 2020

BORIS DELIVERS THE DEVASTATIN' NEWS IN 

'THE LAST PINT SALOON'!

At precisely '5:01pm bells' yesterday, Boris dropped the bombshell  in The Leazes End/Companions Club behind St. James' Park, when he told a shocked handful of customers that aall pubs and clubs would be closed for the foreseeable future and aa nearly choked on mee pint when he told us!

The Toon was 'dead' yesterday afternoon/evenin' az aa went from bar to bar, which were aall virtually empty!
 ie: Aa had nee problem with 'social distancin'!

See the photos below!

THE BODEGA WOZ CLOSED!

ROSIES BAR

INSIDE ROSIES BAR

THE STRAWBERRY

INSIDE THE STRAWBERRY

STRAWBERRY TOOLSHED!

INSIDE THE LEAZES END

INSIDE THE JUNCTION WITH MEE 'LONE PINT'!

INSIDE THE CROWS NEST

INSIDE THE 3 BULLS

EMPTY CAR PARKS!

EMPTY STREETS NEAR SJP!

MASKED BANDITS IN STOWELL STREET!

'D' DAY LOOMING!

Posted '1:21pm bells' Wedinzday 18th March 2020
Updated '1:25pm bells' Thorsday

The Premyaa Leegue are to decide just what to dee tomorrow, in relation to the Coronavirus pandemic!

There are 3 options az far az we can see!

1: End the season now and give 'The Liverbirds' the title now and the bottom 3 at the moment, to be relegated!

2: Resume the season az soon az possible and play oot the remainder of the games left---even if it runs into August or September!

3: Declare the season null and void and start aall ower again in August!

We at 'The Geordie Times' feel that the solution iz to resume the season az soon az possible and play the remainder of the games---especially az The 2020 European Championships have been put back to 2021!

A decision will be made tomorrow---lets hope it's option '2'

"WATCH THIS SPACE!"

NEXT DAY: The Premyaa Leegue have cancelled games til April 30th at the orliest---and they DO intend to complete the season az soon az possible after that!

"WATCH THIS SPACE!"

EVEN ONE MAN AND HIZ DOG CAN'T GET THEIR 'FIX' NOW!

Posted '2:07pm bells' Tuesday 17th March 2020

"NO GO, FIDO!"

News that AALL futbaall from The Premyaa Leegue doon to the grass roots of The Northern Alliance iz cancelled forthwith, meenz that games at the bottom of the pyramid, normally watched by 'one man and hiz dog' are now deemed tooo risky to watch and play!

Aalso, we are told that we shud avoid pubs and clubs, and avoid unnecessary travel, meeenin' that we cannit gan anywhere now!

And aall because of somebody in Chinaa eatin' a bloody bat!

RUGBY LEEGUE FANS IMMUNE FROM CORONAVIRUS!

Posted '11:42am bells' Munday 16th March 2020

With aall senior futbaall cancelled aroond Europe because of the threat of Coronavirus, I woz amazed to see a Rugby Leegue match takin place on the telly in The Junction Bar in the Haymarket area of Newcasil yesterday!

It woz packed to the rafters with 8 to 10,000 fans in attendance at the Castleford v St. Helen's game!
Aalso on Friday the Cheltenham Gold Cup attracted a crowd of ower 60,000 to the racecourse!

The question on everybodys lips (or at least mine, anyway!) IZ!--- Are Rugby Leegue and racin' fans immune from gettin the virus, unlike the rest of us???

Answers on a postcard pleeeze to: Boris 'Karloff' Johnson, 10 Downing Street, London!

WIDNES 3 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 0 *** NORTH WEST COONTIES LEEGUE

Posted '10:50am bells' Sunday 15th March 2020

Because NUFCs game v The Blade Runners of Sheffeeeld woz caalled off on Friday, like the rest of Leegue futbaall, a quick phone caall to Dunston FC got me on their team/supporters bus to Widnes, so I cud get mee Saturday 'fix'!

We left the Dunston groond (2  miles across the Tyne from SJP) at '10:15 bells' and arrived at wor destination at '1:30 bells' and heeded straight for the nearest drinkin den just ootside the groond!
Bizzarly it woz caalled 'The Cricketers Arms' in this Rugby Leegue mad town? but the gargels were under £3 a pint in this rough and ready pub with peeling paint and shabby carpets--- but the beer woz 'spot on', which woz the most important thing! (of course!)

*The bar's nickname woz 'Leggies' and after a few pints it woz time to 'leg it' to the one and anly turnstile open in this 17,000 capacity stadium, which iz aalso the home of Widnes Vikings RLFC and Liverpoool and Evaatin Ladies teams! 

*Amazingly, 'little ol' me' had been here 20 years before with 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' for a NUFC resorve game v Evaatin resorves, so it WASN'T a new groond, which woz a bit disappointin' on my part! (we foond oot later that they plan to move to a smaaller groond alang the road next season!---typical!)

!st HALF ACTION AZ DUNSTON ATTACK THE LEFT HAND GOAL

The groond iz far to big for a club at this level and az the game kicked off there woz a sparse crowd in attendance ! (I counted 105 later on!)

It woz a 'drastic plastic' pitch, which meeenz that multiple teams can play here (az mentioned above) and The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston (who were playin in aall RED?) foond it hard to adapt to the pitch!

VIEW FROM ROW 20, SEAT 52, IN THE MAIN STAND (2nd half)

Widnes (who play in white shirts and black shorts) took advantage of this and put pressure on the Dunston defence and an own goal for the home side came late on in the forst half when Dunston defender Craig Scott attempted to clear off the line, but ended up putting the baall into hiz own net!
Half time 1-0 to Widnes!

The second period wasn't much better for 'The Bad Blue (Red) Boys' and Widnes double their lead with an excellent strike from one of their forwards!
It woz soon 3-0 when the Dunston goalie unintentionally gave the baall to a Widnes forward, who had the simple task of tappin the baall ower the goal line!---There woz nee way back and the game ended soon after!

Attendance: 105 (est) includin' 30 Dunston fans and committee men!

We 'legged it' back to 'Leggies' on the final whistle, to 'shovel doon' a couple of pints before catchin the coach yem!
In the bar woz a lad playin pool who had a Toon crest tattoo on hiz leg (he woz wearin' shorts)---he wasn't with us and I pointed oot to him that we were aall Toon fans az well az Dunston fans!

"I live here!" he said, suprized to see us--(he didn't naa there woz a game on 'next door' involving a Tyneside team!)  and we shook hands (NOT elbows!) before departin for the coach back!

*It looks very likely that nee NUFC games will be played for the foreseeable future and so 'The Geordie Times' will gan to games like this---or doon to 'grass roots' futbaall in the Northern Alliance, shud Dunston's leegue shut doon (very likely, accordin to the committee men on the coach back to Tyneside)

WE WILL NOT! BE BEATEN FOR WOR SATURDAY 'FIX'!

"LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL!"

Posted '12:47pm bells' on bus to Widnes, Saturday 14th March 2020

*Because wor game v Sheff U woz caalled off yesterday coz of the corinavirus crisis, a quick phone call got me on the Dunston team/fans bus to Widnes where The Bad Blue Boys are playin Widnes in The North West Coonties League, in one of the very few games to be played today.

Amazingly, I have been here before 20 years ago when Evaatin resorves played The Toon resorves at Widnes Vikings RLFC, who now groundshare with Widnes FC

A full Geordie Times match report with pix, will appear here eventually!

NOT TO BE! *** THAT IZ THE ANSWER!!!!

Posted '12:30pm bells' Friday 13th March 2020

"IT'S UNREAL!"

Aall futbaall in the UK leegues have been suspended for 3 weeks, until 4th April at the orliest because of the coronavirus pandemic!

Thiz meenz that wor Premyaa Leegue home game v Sheff U tomorrow and wor FA Cup home game v Man City a week on Saturday are both OFF----and wor next away game at Bornmoooth on Saturday 4th April iz in serious doubt!

We have booked trains ↥ and a hotel in London for the Bornmoooth game and hopefully we can get most of wor money back under the circumstances!

We expect that futbaall will NOT be played for some considerable time, but at least they arnt playin games behind closed doors----for the moment at least!

It's like a scene from a Hollywood horror movie!--
It's not Friday the 13th ---iz it????