THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLANS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '11:22am bells' Sunday 24th November 2019

We heed for the delights of Bormingham tomorrow in search of wor 3rd win on the bounce against a Villa team who are 4 points below us in the leegue table and 1 point above the drop zone!

Villa Park is one of wor lucky groonds az we have won there 8 times in the Premyaa Leegue era!

Of course we divvint reely like The Hazbeenz and Villans after they mocked us twice az we were relegated to the Championship in 2009 and 2016 with banners saying 'SOB ON THE TYNE' and, 'WHO'S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH, ANT OR DEC?'

So Villa Park has a love, hate relationship az far az Toon fans are concerned!

Both Schar and Lejeune are in contention to start, but Ritchie iz still crocked!
Clark is also a doubt!

NUFC have sold wor full allocation of 3,000 tickets for the game!  (We have also sold oot at forthcoming games at Sheff U, Bornley and Moan U)

A full Geordie Times match and pub crawl report will appear here sometime on Tuesday

THE TOON U23s 1 v THE TEAM FROM THE REAL STADIUM OF LIGHT 'B' TEAM 1

Posted '2:06pm bells' Saturday 23rd November 2019

"A NEW 'FIRST' FOR ME!"

Havin' not been to a resorve game in Benton for quite a while because of work commitments, I had the chance to gan to this one at The Blue Flames Sports groond, because I now have Friday's off for the foreseeable future!
A Premyaa Leegue International Cup game against Benfica's 'B' team

Mee 'pub crawl special' started off in Gatesheed toon centre where a pint of John Smith's in Wetherspooon's Tilly Stones bar cost the princely sum of £1.99!   It woz then a trip on The Metro to '4 Lane Ends' in the northern suburbs of the Toon, where the 'pub crawl' continued in The Benton Ale Hoose and then The Black Bull and The Ship, which are aall conveniently placed on the way to the groond!

I got to the groond an hour before kick off to be greeted by a 3 stewards who told me to "Mind the crush!" at the admissions gate!
On enterin' the groond aa could see that I woz the anly spectator there!---a new 'first' for me, to be 'first' in a groond before kick off!---a new personal 'world record'!

However---horror upon horror--the clubhoose woz in darkness with the door locked!  A female steward came alang and opened a window next to the door and aa said to hor, "There's nee way a'm climbin' through that!", before she put hor hand through the window to push the door handle doon--and hey presto!--the door opened!

In I went, but the bar coontaa woz aalso in darkness with not a barman/barmaid in sight! (Forst in the clubhoose az well!)
5 minutes later a young lad who spoke with a southern accent arrived and I ordered a pint of John Smith's---it woz flat so I told him to give me a bottle of Broon instead!
He woz obviously a student and didn't have a clue and produced a bottle of some foreign beer and I said, "NO! NO! Newcasil broon ale!", which he eventually foond and plonked it on the bar coontaa!  "Can I have a glass az well!" I asked him and he gave me a PINT glass!? I asked him for a half glass az that's how yoo drink broon ale and he gave me a glass shaped like a Fairs Cup 'with nee handles', to drink from!

The notice on the waall said that I needed to produce a passport or drivin documents to get sorved and I added that he hadn't asked mee for my passport!?
He said that that woz for those who didn't look 18 years old--but I pointed oot that there woz nee mention of this on the notice!

He didn't 'get' the joke and looked at me strangely az I went to find a seat in the 'packed' bar (below) 

ANYWAY! it woz soon time to heed for the halfway line on the far side of the pitch where 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer', 'Tex Taylor' and 'The Mad Professor' were standin', for a bit crack and 'chin-wag'

The game kicked off against Benfica's 'B' side and it wasn't lang before wor U23s took the lead through the fantastically named Ludwig Francillette, who heeded in off the post from a corner kick!

However!--- Wor visitors from Portugal equalised 20 mins later from a corner, but the whistle happy ref ruled it oot, az he had blew hiz whistle for a penalty before the goal woz scored---much to the annoyance of the Benfica players!
Dos Anjos took the penalty and scored, which woz justice for them!

There were a couple of chances for both sides to win the game in the 2nd period, but neethaa team could find the 2nd elusive goal and the game ended one's a piece!

JAMIE STERRY TAKES A THROW IN AFTER THE BAALL BOY 

HAD RETRIEVED THE BAALL (SEE BELOW)

Durin' this half the baall went oot of play and a very small baall boy went to fetch it--he wasn't very fast and I said to wor number 2 Jamie Sterry, who woz waitin' patiently for it's retorn that, "We've got baall boys here Jamie!---unlike sund'lind!" (a reference to the fact that sund'linds keeper had to retrieve the baall himself from an empty stand the othaa week, az there were nee baall boys at that end!) (see below!) "Ha!, Ha!", Jamie said az he took the throw in!

At the end of the game a handful of youngish Benfica fans applauded their team off the pitch and in retorn the Benfica players gave them their shirts (a nice touch at the end of the match!)

BENFICA FANS AND PLAYERS EXCHANGE PLEASURENTIES!

PS: We have nee idea if the fans in question had travelled ower from Lisbon, or were students at one of the universities in the Toon? (probably the latter!)

Attendance 298 (guess who woz forst through the gate?) 
(5 Benfica fans!) 

A 'PRISTINE' TEAM SHEET!

*

"I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT***THE REAL STADIUM OF LIGHT!"

Posted '2:00pm bells' Friday 22nd November 2019

A SOUVENIR FROM LISBON *** A BENFICA CANDLE.  
"I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!"

*Tooneet wor U23s take on Benfica's 'B' team in 'The Premyaa Leegue International Cup' at Blue Flames Sports Groond in Benton, which iz in the northern suburbs of the Toon! (aka Whitley Park)

Normally 'yours truely' would be at work, but mee shifts have been changed and instead of deein mee nighty truck run to Eccles in Manchester 5 neets a week, I am now gannin to Redditch in Worcestershire 4 neets a week and will have Friday's off for the foreseeable future!

This meeenz aa can gan to tooneets game which kicks off at '7 bells' and iz FREE to season ticket holders! "YIPPEE!" 

BENFICA MATCH TICKET---GROOND 300!

*Benfica hold a special place in mee heart, az when NUFC played there in The Europa Leegue qwaataa finals in 2013, (the 'proper' and 'one and anly' Stadium of Light!) (Estadio Da Luz), this woz mee 300th groond watchin' The Toon! 
(An archive match report from that game iz printed below) 

A 'pub crawl' in the bars on the way to the groond from 4 Lane Ends Metro station will be undertaken and we will start off at The |Benton Ale Hoose 'orly doors' if yoo fancy joinin us! "CHEERS!"

A full match and pub crawl report will appear here sometime on Saturday!

THE PROPAA STADIUM OF LIGHT BRIGADE 3 THE TOON 1 ****300 GROONDS!***AND COONTIN'!

Updated '9:00pm bells' Friday 5th April 2013

Ground number 300!
Date of First Visit 4th April 2013
Estadio Da Luz, Lisbon, Portugal

Benfica 3
Newcastle United 1 (Cisse)

Europa League Quarter final 1st leg
Attendance: 44,133 (aroond aboot 4,000 Toon fans!)

"THE 300 GROUNDS CLUB!---AT LAST!"

'The holy grail' of 300 groonds watchin' 'The Toon' waz finally  reached by 'The mad-sad groundhopper' @ The Estadio Da Luz<(Stadium of Light) last neet, but waz tinged with disappointment of course because of wor attempt to throw the tie away by pressin' the 'self destruct button'!

Below iz a brief trip report and aa will add loads more az the days gan by!

The 'nine bells' chartaa flight on Wednesday mornin' from Toon Airport waz uneventful and we touched doon in the Portugese capital some three hours later!
Aftaa a quick 'wash n brush up' in wor city centre hotel we were 'off on the hoy' once agen in yet anothaa European city in wor (seeeminglee!) nevaa endin' adventure!

'The Hard Rock Cafe' waz wor forst 'port o caall', a good 20 minutes waalk from the hotel and from there we heeded up a 'very' steep hill to some 'very' cheap boozers at the top!
'The Wasp' bar certainly didn't 'sting us' @ ONE Euro a pint<(less than a quid!) and from there we moved onto the various drinkin dens dotted aroond that area, many of them filled with Toon fans with the same idea az us!<(f*****' plonkies!)

"NO STING IN THE WASP!"

At aroond aboot 'midneet bells' we decided to gan for an orly mornin' 'retirement' back to the hotel to catch up on some much needed sleep! "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

Next day of course waz 'match day' and we heeded back to 'The Hard Rock' where quite a few of the 4,000 Toon fans who had travelled ower were congrigated.
The main area knaan az 'Rossi Square', (we were telt) waz packed with Toon fans by orly afternoon and so we heeded back to wor old 'haunts' 'on the hill' for a quiet afternoons 'gargelin', az it waz off 'the beaten track'!

Before lang we were off to the match where a thorough search waz completed before they would let us in, ne doubt to see if anybody had been hidin' flares or smokebombs doon their pants!

Just before the match kicked of a giant eagle waz released in the centre of the pitch (Benfica are knaan az 'The Eagles') and flew aroond the pitch menacingly for five minutes, much to the amusement of the Toon fans!
Az it landed back on it's keeper's glove there waz huge applause from both the Benfica fans and the Toon fans for this novel pre match innovation! Certainly A'V nevaa seen out like this before!<(perhaps WE shud copy them and release two magies before eech home game @ St James'?)<(one for sorrow TWO for JOY!)

Anyway!--mee 'historic' 300th groond to watch the Toon waz complete when *Cisse kicked the game off and aa carnt imagine EVAA bein' able to de 400, az a'd run oot of groonds! (*Aa aalways say that aa haveent been to a groond until a Toon player touches the baall!)

We took the lead in the 12th minute when a pinpoint through baall from 'The Sissoko Kid' foond Cisse and he made 'ne mistake' from close in to send the travellin' faithful into rapures high in the stands behind the far end goal!
Cisse then agonizinglee hit the post, but his effort reboonded oot and the chance to double wor lead waz gone!
It aall went 'pear shaped' aftaa this though az in the 25th minute Tim Krul in the Toon goal could anly push a save to the feet of Moreno and he had the easy task of firin' the baall into the net to level things!

Then just aftaa the restart we had a glorious chance to once agen retake the lead when 'Marveaux the Magician' foond Cisse and hiz chip ower their goalie looked to be gannin in' anly for the spinnin' baall to agonizingleee hit the post once agen and boonce oot!
Then disaster struck when an attempted back pass from Santon to Krul waz intercepted by Lima who shot into the empty goal!

^ "GUESS WHO HE SUPPORTS!?" ^

It waz soon 3-1 to Benfica when Steve Taylor needlesly handled in the box to give the home side a penalty which Cardozo convorted at the 2nd attempt! (the ref made him retake the 1st one which he aalso scored from!)

There waz ne way back from this and despite a couple of chances to reduce the defesitt<(Geordie Times spellin'!) we must now gan into the revorse fixture @ St James' next week and hope for more luck!
A game we shud have won 3-1 torned oot to be the exact opposite!---and to say we pressed the 'self destruct button' would be the understatement of the year!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (Gosling 83), Santon, Steve Taylor, Yanga, Cabaye, Perch (Anita 62) Sissoko, Gutierrez, Marveaux (Sola Ameobi 80), Cisse

We were locked in for ower half an hour aftaa the game, much to the annoyance of 'us' and a couple of skirmishes broke oot between some frustrated Toon fans and the local 'dibble' dressed in riot gear who drew and used their batons!<(completlee ower the top in wor opinion!)

We were then bussed straight to Lisbon Airport for wor flights back, eventually arrivin' at mee front door at 'presisely' 'fower twenty five bells' this mornin'!

A 'BIG ONE' off the list this time!


'Geordie Times' groondhoppin' milestones!

1964***1st groond***St James' Park of course! (1st team v Coventry City***(Old) Division Two)

1969***10th and 1st European away groond***Ibrox Park, Glasgow (1st team v Rangers***Inter Cities Fairs Cup)

1978***50th groond, Craven Cottage, London (1st team v Fulham***(Old) Division Two)

1991***100th groond, Prenton Park, Birkenhead (1st team v Tranmere Rovers***(Old) Division Two )

1997***150th groond, Louis II Stadium, Monte Carlo, (1st team v Monaco***UEFA Cup)

2001***200th groond, Somerset Park, Ayr (1st team v Ayr United***Friendly)

2005***250th groond, Kingsley Park, Ryton (Resorves/Juniors v Ryton***Friendly)

2013***300th groond, Estadio Da Luz, Lisbon (1st team v Benfica***Europa League)

GEORDIE TIMES CRYPTIC PUB CRAWL QUIZ! ***** (Part 2)

Posted '1:49pm bells' Wedinzday 20th November 2019

Can yoo name this pub and characters portrayed on the chalkboards behind the bar in this iconic Tyneside 'waaterin' hole', not far from SJP?

Answer will be published tomorrow afternoon!

"IT'S 'TOMORROW AFTERNOOON' FOLKS!"
(Updated '1:35pm bells' Thorsday)

The answers are:--- The top photo in the red n white stripes iz of ex mackem manager Peter Reid who woz 'affectionately' known in the legendary wind up song by Toon fans!
"Peter Reid's got a f*****' monkey's heed!"

PETER REID (COMPARE PHOTOS!)

And the bottom photo iz of former Toon manager Bobby Robson, who like a 'tipple' or two!

SIR BOBBY ROBSON

And the iconic boozer iz:---THE STRAWBERRY opposite St. James' Park

"IT'S A SELOOT!---IT'S A SELLOOT!---IT'S A SELLOOT!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 18th November 2019

News that wor away games at 'The Hazbeenz and Villans' at Villa Park, against Sheff U at Bramall Lane and Bornley at Turf Moor are aall complete sellotts for the away sections!

Tickets are currently on sale to season ticket holder for wor game against Moan U at 'The Theatre of Muppets' on Boxin' Day and are sure to selloot az well, guaranteein' great away support in wor next 4 away games! 

The Villa game takes place next Munday neet for live telly of course---wor FIFTEENTH consecutive away game on a Munday neet!
In between that there iz a resorve game at Blue Flames, Benton in the northern suburbs of the Toon, where wor U23s take on the mighty Benfica(U23s) of Portugal in The Premyaa Leegue International Cup (group stage) 

Normally, 'yours truly' wouldn't be there and be at work instead, BUT! mee 5 neets trunk run to Eccles in Manchester haz been changed to Redditch in Worcestershire, (which iz a much langer trip) and because of this I will be on a 4 shift Munday to Thorsday 'run' from now on, meeenin that aa can gan to the game on Friday neet, which kicks off at '7 bells'!
"YIPPEE!" 

A full report on that game will appear here sometime on Saturday, complete with 'pub crawl' pix from Benton!

PS: For the Villa game next Munday I have taken 2 days holiday, az this involves an owerneet stay in Bormingham 

GEORDIE TIMES CRYPTIC PUB CRAWL QUIZ

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 16th November 2019

Usin' your skill, judgement and half a sheep's brain, can yoo name this drinkin' den, which is within sight of St. James' Park!?

BOBBY ROBSON QUOTE

Answer will be posted sometime tomorrow!

Updated '10:20am bells' Sunday

Amazingleeee!---Everybody who enterered wor quiz got the answer reet!----THE JUNCTION in the Haymarket area of the Toon!
Even those who have never set foot on Tyneside before, or indeed have ever been to the UK, got it reet! 
We at 'The Geordie Times' just cant understand it???
A 100% effort from wor loyal reeeders!---well done!---Yoo owe each other a fiver!

BAD BLUE BOYS v LIVERPOOOL! (BUT NOT THE ONE YOO 'FINK' IT IZ!) *** PITCH INSPECTION IN MORN!

Posted '2:44pm bells' Friday 15th November 2019

With nee fixture tomorrow for NUFC because of yet anothaa International break, we intend(ed) to get wor Saturday 'fix' in Dunston, where 'The Bad Blue Boys' (Dunston FC) are playin the 'Purple half' of Morseyside, when The City of Liverpoool FC heed north for a North West Coonties fixture (level 8 in the pyramid system)

HOWEVER!--heavy rain haz hit Tyneside in the last couple of days and the game iz in doubt!---A pitch inspection will be held at '8:30 bells' in the mornin' to see if the game can gan aheed!

We shall soon find oot if we can get wor 'fix' here, or else it cud be a 'day on the drink' instead, in The Toon's many 'liquid lubrication' locations'!

Az per usual 'watch this space' "HIC!"

Updated '10:20 am bells' Saturday
MATCH OFF---WAATERLOGGED PITCH!
And az yi dee in theeze circumstances!🍻🍻🍻

WOR NEXT 'PORT' 'O' CALL FOR THE MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

Posted '1:30 pm bells' Tuesday 12th November 2019

Anothaa new groond for new NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers tooneet when wor U21s face Port Vale at Vale Park in Burslem (near Stoke) in a EFL Trophy group stage tie

Veteran hoppers (like little old me!) have been here before of course for 1st team games and to be perfectly honest the town of  Burslem iz a complete dump! (Twinned with sund'lind I believe!)

Having lost wor previous 2 games at Macclesfeeeld and Shrewsbury, we cannot qualify for the next stage!

The game kicks off at '7:00 bells' and admission is via The Hamil End for Toon fans at £10 for big kids and a fiver for sports and zimmerframeites!

A Geordie Times score report will appear here later tooneet!

Updated 'midneet bells' at Woodall services truck park, M1

The Toon's U21s lost 2-1 in front of a 571 'crowd'!? which included 23 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers'!
Elliot Anderson got wor goal when he heeded in from close range from an assist by Jamie Sterry!
We played in wor aall orangemen change strip!
Thanx to NUFC mad-sad groundhopper Glennn from Ashington for pic and team sheet!

NEWS AT TEN

Posted '1:35pm bells' Munday 11th November 2019

Andre Yedlin became the TENTH different Toon player to score a  goal in a competitive game this season, when he heeded the equaliser against Bornmoooth on Saturday!
The full list of scorers iz listed below:

2 Shelvey
2 Clark
1 Joelinton
1 Muto (Leegue Cup)
1 Schar
1 Willems
1 Matty Longstaff
1 Lascelles
1 Fernandez
1 Yedlin