TELLY TIMES FOR NOVEMBER TO BE ANNOONCED VERY SOON!--ALLEDGEDLY!

Posted '3:57pm bells' Munday 16th September 2019
Updated '4:01pm bells' Tuesday

The telly times for November are/were! to be conformed eethaa later today or tomorrow---we are are not sure when?
'nufc.com' says today and 'The Ronny-Gill' says tomorrow?

It iz now 'tomorrow' and its '4 bells' in the afternoon--and STILL nee news of any November fixture changes!
Why the hell do they tell us that TV games will be announced---and then deafly silence????

There are 4 Saturday games that could be moved ---and they are:
'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham away on 2nd November
Bournemoooth at SJP on 9th November
'The Hazbeenz and Villains' away on 23rd November
'The Blue Moonies' of Manchester at SJP on 30th November 

'The Geordie Times' will of course bring yooo---wor loyal subjects--- any changes, when we (eventually!) find oot---alang with U23 fixture dates/times/ venues in The Premyaa Leegue Cup, due to be played between October and February and The FA Youth Cup 3rd roond due to be played in December!

Az per usual--"Watch this space!"---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!"😴

THE LIVERBIRDS 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:44am bells' Sunday 15th September 2019

VIEW FROM ROW 19, SEAT 66, AZ THE TOON 

ATTACK THE ANFEEELD ROAD END!

("GET YOUR KICKS IN SEAT 66!")

After draggin' mee lifeless body oot of 'mee pit' at the ungodly hour of '4:30am bells', it woz off in a taxi to 'The Central' to catch the '6:03 bells' Cross Pennines' train to 'Mickey Mouse Land'!

The train had a major fault and we were told that we had to get off at Manchester Victoria and catch anothaa train to Liverpoool Lime Street station!

This meant that we didn't get there til '9:30 bells' (instead of 9) and we heeded straight for 'The Ship and Mitre', which iz a 5 minute waalk from Lime Street to down the forst 'real ale liquid lubrications' and get some 'scran'

After a 2 hour 'binge' it woz time to heed for wor expected 'punishment' at Anfeeeld, which iz 3 mles away in the suburbs of Liverpoool!

THE LANG QUEUE FOR THE FUTBAALL SPECIAL!

('ESPECIALLY' IF IT MAKES YOO MISS THE KICK OFF!)

We decided to wait for the 'soccer special' which went to the groond---and waited---and waited-----and waited!--in the lang queues for the busses!
After a half hour wait we finally boarded one at '12:05 bells' and heeded to wor destination and the '12:30 bells' kick off---Unfortunately, because of heavy traffic we got there late and missed the forst 4 minutes of the match! (must remember to get a taxi next time---for certain!)

JETRO'S GOAL ON 'MATCH OF THE DAY'!---NOT JAMAAL'S!

It wasn't lang for the forst goal, which woz scored by 'US'---a brilliant right footer from Jetro Willems from just inside the box, just 3 minutes after wor arrival, to send the 3,000 Toon fans into unexpected joy in 'The Anfeeeld Road End'!
(For some reason the scoreboard said that Jamaal Lascelles had scored?)

VIEW OF THE 'SPOT THE TOURIST STAND'!

Wor 'joy' woz short lived however, az 'The European champions' equalised when Dubravka in the Toon goal failed to collect a shot from Mane and hiz 'fumble' allowed Mane to put the baall into an empty net to 'waken up' the home crowd, who had been very quiet up until this point!

VIEW OF THE QUIET KOP!

The 2nd goal from The Liverbirds woz even worse when Krafth lost the baall and the resultin' attack led to anothaa goal against, time from Mane again, with a shot across the box in the 40th minute!

It woz 'backs to the waall' in the 2nd period and The Liverbirds finally sealed the victory through Salah, who beat Dubravka from close in! 
Before that Krafth had blazed a shot high ower the bar into The Kop when he woz unmarked---and opportunity missed that we paid dearly for!

KRAFTH IZ UNMARKED, BUT BLAZES HIZ SHOT OWER THE BAR!

The Anfeeeld crowd and especially The Kop, were the quietest I can remember in visits gannin back nearly 51 years!---A partial result of 'futbaaal tourism' and thoosands of home fans with 'non Scouse' accents, 'back packs' and brand new red and white scarves, who wernt born anywhere near Liverpoool--for certain, 'gave it away', ootside the groond and in the city centre before and after the game!)

It woz then back to 'The Ship' for somemore 'gargels' before catchin' the 4:30 bells' train back to The Toon! (amazingly, the train didn't break doon on the way back!)

The loss took us to the edge of the relegation zone once again in 17th place--and we feel that that's where we will be, come the end of the season (hopefully not in 18th place or lower!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Krafth (Manquillo 67), Schar (Fernandez 80), Lascelles, Dummett, Willems, Hayden, Shelvey, Atsu, Amiron (Muto 67), Joelinton

Attendance: 51,430 (includin' 3,000 Toon fans and a canny few 'tourists'!)

*Stats: With just 1 win in 5, 'Broken Nose Bruce's win percentage iz now 20%! 
  

THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON **** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted '3:11pm bells' Thorsday 12th September 2019

On Saturday at the ungodly hour of '4:30am bells' we must drag worsels oot of bed to catch the '6:03 bells' train to Liverpoool for wor game at Anfield, which kicks off at '12:30 bells' for live telly!

We have sold wor entire allocation of 3,000 tickets for 'The Anfield Road End' and the game iz a complete selloot!

Sean Longstaff suffered a freak injury in trainin' and torned hiz ankle---so he wont be in the squad!

NUFC are odds on favourites to lose of course!, with odds of 22/1 to win---while 'The Liverbirds' are 1/7 on to win!
They haven't lost a Premyaa Leegue game at home for TWO AND A HALF YEARS! ( April 2017) This consists of 32 wins and 10 draws!
NUFC haven't won there for 24 years!---A 1-0 win in The Leegue Cup in 1995---and its 26 years we won there in The Premyaa Leegue in the 1993-94 season---That's 23 times in a row since we last won --losin 19 times a drawin 4 times---So that's an easy 3 points for 'us' then!

It iz nearly 51 years since aa forst set foot in Anfield, where NUFC lost 2-1 in October 1968---and so av 'dug up' the archive report from that game aall those years ago and have published it below
(ground number 003)

NUFC MAD -SAD GROUNDHOPPERS DIARY DATES!

Posted '3:18pm bells' Wedinzday 11th September 2019

BIRKDALE PARK, BOTTESFORD

Scunthorpe's excellent 3-1 win at Sooothend yesterday in The Premyaa Leegue Cup, meenz that NUFC U23s will have 2 new venues to visit in this competition!

That's at Birkdale Park, home of Bottesford Toon FC and Haall Road Rangers, where 'Scunny' normally play their U23 games--- and The East Riding FAs heedquarters at The Roy West Centre in Hull, where we will play Hull U23s!

THE ROY WEST CENTRE, HULL

NUFC have been placed in Group 'C' alang with West Brom and the above 2 teams. (West Brom play their U23 games at their trainin' groond--where we have been tee before)

MONTGOMERY WATER MEADOW, SHREWSBURY

Aalso, we have still to visit Shrewsbury's New Meadow groond next month for an EFL Trophy group stage game, between Shrewsbury's 1st team and NUFC U21s
(Aalso Port Vale, but we have been here az well!)

The away dates in question are U21 and U23 fixtures til the end of this year and are subject to change, except the Shrewsbury game, which haz been 'set in stone'!

Thorsday 3rd October to Sunday 6th October: Hull City U23s v NUFC U23s at The Roy West Centre in Hull in The Premyaa Leegue Cup (venue to be conformed)

Wedinzday 8th October: Shrewsbury's 1st team v NUFC U21s  at New Meadow in The EFL Trophy (7:30 bells')

Tuesday 12th November: Port Vale's 1st team v NUFC U21s at Vale Park in The EFL Trophy (Been here---got the Tee shirt!) 

Friday 29th November to Munday 2nd December: Scunthorpe U23s v NUFC U23s at Birkdale Park, Bottesford in The Premyaa Leegue Cup (It iz possible that this game could be moved to Glanford Park---where we have been tee before)(Hopefully not!) 

*The Geordie Times will of course conform the exact dates and times that the games will be played in due course!


  

"BOTTES UP IF YOO LUV THE TOON!"🥂

Posted '1:17pm bells' Tuesday 10th September 2019

Birkdale Park, home of
Bottesford Toon and
Haall Road Rangers

Aall NUFC groundhoppers eyes will be glued to a certain futbaall fixture this afternooon, when Sooothend U23s take on Scunthorpe U23s at Roots Hall, Soothend!

This is because the winners will play NUFC U23s in the Premyaa Leegue Cup!

Sooothend play their U23 games at Roots Hall, where we have been before of course, while Scunny play their U23 home games at nearby Bottesford Toon FC, a groond that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been tee before!

So, of course we will be rootin' for an away win so that we can add yet another new groond to wor never endin' list!

The game kicks off at '4 bells' and we will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot!

Updated between '4:00 bells' and full time
*Joyous news for The Nufc mad-sad groundhoppers
Scunny scored 2 more goals in stoppage time to seal a date with NUFC U23s at Bottesford Toon!🤪 *5:50 bells'----Nearly time---penalties loom
*5:32 bells'   Bad news !---Sooothend have equalised!
*4:46 bells' HT---still 0-1 to 'Scunny'!---so far so good!
*'4:02 bells'---Great news! 'Scunny' have taken the lead after just 2 minutes!---Sooothend 0  Scunthorpe 1

'THE BACK PAGE' REFUSES TO SELL 'THE POISONED DWARF'S' BOOK!

Posted '4:41pm bells' Munday 9th September 2019

'The Back Page' shop in St. Andrews Street near to SJP iz refusin' to sell 'Midget Owen's new book, which slags off the Toon, Shearer, the late Freddie Shepherd (who can't defend himself!) and wor loyal fans!
This book shop haz a huge range of sports books and will sell any book, even those aboot sund'lind SMBs!
This iz the forst time that they have ever refused to sell a sports book from their shop!

"Well done 'Mad Mick'!" (The Back Page owner)
"And here's hopin' that 'The Poisoned Dwarf's book iz a massive flop!"

BAD BLUE BOYS 0 RCA SMBs 0 *** FA CUP 1st PRELIMANARY ROOND

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 8th September 2019

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!

WE CAUGHT THE MOMENT THAT THE WHITE CARAVETTE 

DEPARTED FROM THE CAR PARK 

AT PRECISELY  '4:46 BELLS! (TOP RIGHT OF PICTURE!)

"THE TALE OF THE CARAVETTE AND ONE TO FORGET!"

With the International break we had a free weekend and heeded for Federation Park to watch the Tyne/wear derby cup tie between 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' and sund'lind 'RCA SMB's.

THE BIG KICK OFF!

Normally these games are entertainin', but this one certainly wasn't and petered oot into a very borin' goalless draw. "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"😴
Both sides missed one easy chance each and the 'highlight' of the game wasn't on the pitch, but in the car park behind the left hand goal from us!

One Dunston fan aalways brings hiz caravette to the games and parks it near the back of the car park!
He aalways leaves aboot 10 mins before the end to beat the traffic from the near by Metro shoppin' centre!

DUNSTON FREE KICK AT 'THE TEA HUT END'!

We took guesses az to exactly wot time he would leave!
'Davy the Silver Fox' said '4:37 bells'---'Grumpy Stumpy' said '4:39 bells' and I said 4:40 bells'

We were aall on tenderhooks as each predicted time passed and he eventually left at precisely '4:46 bells'!
However! there woz a lot of injury time and the ref finally blew hiz full time whistle at 4:55 bells', so he actually drove off some 9 minutes before the game ended! (So My prediction that he would leave 10 mins before time woz anly a minute oot!)

Wor big mistake woz that we made wor predictions at the start of the 2nd half and didn't take into account any extra time added for injuries!

Oh! the joys of futbaall, 0-0 draws and caravettes!!!

"THE PROOF THAT WE WOZ THERE!"

MEE MATCH TICKET!

(THE ATTENDANCE WOZ 392)

TEAM SHEET

FOOTNOTE:

Wor little sister 'The Times of London' says that the above game went to extra time and penalties and that Dunston won the shoot out 10-9!

The Geordie Times can tell yoo that it DIDN'T and that the players were in the clubhouse 10 mins after the 90 mins were up!

There's a replay in mackemland this Wedinzday neet!

For the correct scores reeed 'The Geordie Times' and not wor 'little sister' from London!

THE BAD BLUE BOYS v THE RCA SMBs *** FA CUP 1st QUALIFYIN' ROOND

Posted '1:15pm bells' Saturday 7th September 2019

With nee Premyaa Leegue games this weekend because of International qualifiers, we find worsels in need of 'a fix'--and where better to gan than a Tyne/wear derby game in the FA Cup!

'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston are takin on mackem side RCA sund'lind at '3 bells' this afternoon at Federation Park, Dunston (aka UTS Stadium), which iz 2 miles from SJP across the Tyne!

I love these games az there iz nee pressure or nail bitin' (unlike NUFC games v sund'lind) and with just 300 expected, it iz easy to get sorved in the Dunston clubhouse within the groond!
The winners pick up a prize of £4,500, while the losers get £1,500, which isn't bad for smaall non leegue clubs!

Win or lose we will enjoy the afternoon---az lang az 'The Bad Blue Boys' win of course!

A match report (and pix) on the game will appear here sometime tomorrow!

MORE MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS!

Posted '4:30pm bells' Thorsday 5th September 2019

THE ROY WEST CENTRE, HULL
("THE PITCH LOOKS A BIT NACKERED, LIKE!")

Followin' on from a new groond on Tuesday at Macclesfeeeld the draw for the Premyaa Leegue U23s Cup haz been made and NUFC U23s have been drawn against Hull City, West Brom and Scunny or Soothend United!

The Geordie Times haz done some research and have foond oot that Hull play some of their U23 games at The Roy West Centre which iz The East Riding Coonty FA heedquarters, which iz near Hull Uni 

WBA play their home games at The Hawthorns and The Palm Trainin Groond in Walsall and we have been to both before!

Should Scunthorpe beat Soothend next week, then we could be playin' at the home of Bottesford Town FC and Hall Road Rangers FC who groondshare at Birkdale Park, Bottesford near Scunny

Soothend play their U23 games at their main ground, Roots Hall, where we have been before, so we definately want 'Scunny' to win!

So that's a possibility of TWO new groonds to visit in the forthcomin' months alang with Shrewsbury Toon's New Meadow ground, where we are playin a EFL trophy game on Tueday 8th October 

Theeze are excitin' times for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers, for sure!

PS: I will be updatin' mee groonds visited 'list' sometime tomorrow

342 moss rose macclesfield

Ground number 342
(80th current League ground---out of *90)
(140th ground visited that has staged Football League/Premier League football following NUFC)
Date of First Visit: 3rd September 2019
Moss Rose, Macclesfield

Macclesfield Town 2
Newcastle United U21s 1 (Luke Charman)

EFL Trophy (group stage)
Attendance: 525 (74 Toon fans in away section plus several others in the home section)

"JUNCTION 27 WHERE ARE YOO?"

The day started off for me with a bus to the Toon and then onward to Durham by train with *'International RUSScue', where we cadged a lift from 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' to Macclesfeeeld in deepest Cheshire!
*This woz Russ's maiden visit to a resorve away match---anothaa 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' to add to the 'saddos list'!

I'd brought a hand drawn map of how to get there (above) and az a truck driver who gans to the north west every night durin the week (apart from match days!) I woz trusted to get us to wor destination!

We got onto the M60 clockwise from the M62 and I told 'Blondie Alan' that we needed to torn off at junction 27----aall went fine az we got nearer---junction 24---junction 25---junction 26---junction 1???
"Where the hells junction 27, like???", I shouted!
Anyway, we torned off at junction 1 and az the map woz the route from junction 27, it woz now useless, az the directions to Macclesfeeeld were from there!

There woz a proper map on the back seat (Blondie doesn't have 'sat-nav') and lookin at it I could see that indeed there WOZ a junction 27, but it woz on the anti-clockwise side of the M60 only!
(ie: nee exit on the clockwise side!)

ANYWAY!--enough of that!----we rejigged wor directions and went doon the A34 instead and followed the signs to Macclesfeeeld which thankfully wasn't tooo far from wor original route! (10 or so miles extra via the A34)

I mentioned that there woz a pub caalled 'The Golden Lion' which I'd added to mee hand drawn map, but Russ said that HE'D sussed anothaa pub oot caalled 'The Railway View', which had real ale beer!
So we parked up at the Moss Rose groond and heeded there instead, az there woz still loads of time before kick off! (az yi dee!)

IZ THAT A WONKY GATESHEED ANGEL ON THE MANTLEPIECE?

After a few 'gargels' there with 'Dave from York' and 'Alex of St George' (who we gave pub directions to) we heeded for the groond where we purchased match tickets from a little window at the side of the main stand!---The tickets looked like receipts from Asda or Tesco and NOT match tickets?
<<< We heeded for wor seats  in the ridiculously named 'Big Brand Ideas Stand' and there wer quite a few Toon groundhoppers present in the away section!
There didn't look to be more than 500 in attendance, aall told, and anly one stand woz open, which shows the total apathy for this competition from the locals! 
NUFC U21s wore wor orange change strip, while Macclesfeeeld wor blue and white.

We didn't start off well, az Macclesfeeeld had more of the play and they took the lead in the 19th minute with a spectacular left footed strike by Fitzpatrick and we went in 1-0 doon at the break az the rain poured doon!---A poor 1st half from 'us'!

LUKE CHARMAN'S SPECTACULAR GOAL! (LUKE IZ ON FAR RIGHT IN ORANGE)

In the 2nd half we seemed 'up for it' at last--- and we scored a virtually similar goal to Macclesfeeeld's, when Luke Charman hit a brilliant left footed shot from ootside the box with just 3 minutes on the clock after the restart, to send 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' wild with delight!

The home side however, got the decisive winnin goal by Gomis in the 63rd minute with a close range shot!
The Toon tried in vain to get the equaliser but it wasn't to be az we trundled oot of the groond for the 160 mile jorney yem-----via junction 25 on the M60 this time! (Junction 27 where are yoo???)

PS: Moss Rose woz the anly current Leegue ground where NUFC have played before, where aa hadn't been tee!---so aa now have 'the complete set'! -----"YAHOO!" 😜

*There are currently just 90 Leegue groonds az Bury have been kicked oot and Coventry share groonds with Bormingham

FINK 'The mad-sad groundhopper'

*"WE WOZ THERE!"

MATCH PROGRAMME

TEAM SHEET

BUS AND TRAIN TICKETS TO DURHAM

NOT A GOOD SIGN FOR THE FUTURE!

YOO MUST HAVE VERY LONG ARMS TO REACH THESE TOILET ROLLS INSIDE THE GROOND'S TOOL-SHED'!

THIS BOG STANDARD PICTURE 

WOZ TAKEN BY 'DAVE FROM YORK'!