IT HAD TO HAPPEN!😨

Posted '2:45pm bells' Saturday 8th December 2018

The Checkatrade Trophy draw haz been made and wor resorve side have been drawn away to sund'linds forst team!

Its a draw the mackems certainly didnt want az its a 'ne win situation for them!

Can you imagine if WE win!?
The ultimate humiliation!

The match iz due to be played in the 2nd week of January!

PS: Mee laptop iz workin itsel again, so av got to de this blog on mee mobile phone until I can get the problem fixed!

PPS: Managed to get laptop workin' again---a day later!

THE TOFFEE NOSES 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:30am bells' onwards on the train from Liverpool to The Toon! Thorsday 6th December 2018

"A HARD EARNED POINT!"

Havin dragged meesel oot of bed after the previous nightshift to Manchester (see Macclesfeeeld report below this one) it woz off again to 'The Central' (station) to catch the '1:30 bells' train to Liverpool, arrivin' in good time for a few 'gargels' before kick off in 'The Excelsior' and 'The Ship' next door!
It woz then a taxi ride to Goodison Park, some 3 miles from the centre of Liverpool!

A hard earned point woz the outcome of this game played in heavy rain for most parts.
We took the lead in the 19th minute at The Park End when a Murphy cross foond Rondon who wellied the baall past Pickford (the man we love to hate!)

NUFC held on to the lead for 20 mins and then Evertin equalised through Ricalison who fired past Dubravka at The Gladys Street End!

It looked at this point that we would get beat but we are made of sterner stuff these days and held on in the 2nd half to claim the valuable point and propel us up one rung on the ladder to 14th place!
This meenz that in the last 6 games we have won 3,  drawn 2, and lost 1!
Not bad for a team in crisis!

After the match we heeded back to the centre of Livepool for a few gargels in 'Ma Egertons' before retiring for the neet in wor hotel near Lime Street station "ZZZZZzzzzz!"

Next morning we heeded for 'The Fall Well' for some 'breakies' (washed doon with a pint of 'Smiths') before catchin the '10:30 bells' train back yem!
And of course---anothaa 'night truck run' back to Manchester!--------"Its aall go-go-go!"

TOON FANS AND PLAYERS CELEBRATE AT THE END!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Fernandez, Manquillo, Atsu, Ki, Diame, Murphy (Perez 64), Rondon (Joselu 73)

Attendance: 39,350 (1,700 Toon fans)

PUB CRAWL PIX FROM LIVERPOOL 

THE TOON U21s 1 MACCLESFEEELD 1 (TOON WIN 5-3 ON PENS)

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 5th December 2018

"I'M JUST A HALF TIME SUPPORTER!"

The Toon's youngins progressed to the last 16 of The Checkatrade Trophy when we beat bottom of the Futbaall Leegue side Macclesfeeeld 5-3 on pens after the score woz level 1-1 after 90 minutes

Yours truely saw the forst half from the middle section of The East Stand and then listened to the 2nd half on mee truck radio az aa had to gan to work at 8 30 bells and drive to Manchester! (honest!)

NUFC took the lead through Elias Sorensen who toe poked home at The Gallowgate End followin a cross from Liam Gibson to send the 1,000 plus Toon fans into raptures! (Whey polite applause, anyway!)

'The Big Maccs' had a noisy followin' and numbered aboot 50 who were stuck in the Leazes/ East Stand corner of the groond! (Below in the far corner)

Az soon az the half time whistle sounded aa rushed to the exit gate az aa had to gan to work for '8:30 bells'---and then onward across the Peninnes!

The game woz live on Radio Newcasil and former Toon 'dinosaur' John Anderson woz the co commentator!
Aroond aboot the Darlington area of the A1M, Macclesfeeeld equalised in the 85th minute through Scott and penalties beckoned after 90 minutes!

Luckily for me the radio crackled on az I approached Scotch Corner and 'Ando' told us that Harker had blocked Maccs 2nd penalty---we scored aall 4 of wors through Bailey, Roberts, Gibson and Watts and it woz left to Sangre to score the 5th penalty to send us into the next roond!

A very strange evenin for me ---watchin the forst half and listenin to the 2nd half!
But aa HAD to 'show mee face' az a'd nevaa seen The Toon play Macclesfeeeld before!
The last team to play at St James' who aa hadn't seen there woz Linfield way back in 1966 in a friendly, which we won 7-2!
That's why aa HAD TO GAN!---even if it woz just for half a game!

Aa got back from 'Manc-land' at '4 am bells', grabbed 5 hours kip and then got up again to de 'this piece' and heed for Liverpool on the train at '1:30 bells' for wor game at Evertin tooneet---Its 'aall go' ---Isn't it just!

To be continued!---watch this space!

TOONEET *** U21s v MACCLESFIELD *** TOMORROW *** THE TOFFEE NOSES v THE TOON

Posted '3:00pm bells' Tuesday 4th December 2018

'The Geordie Times' faces a hectic 3 days tryin to fit work in aroond 2 fixtures this mid-week!
Forst of aall, wor U21 resorve side face Macclesfield's forst team in The Checkatrade Trophy tooneet and Everton away in the Premyaa Leegue on Wedinzday neet!

The anly problem iz that av anly got ONE days holiday from work left, which a'm takin tomorrow, which meenz a'm gannin to the resorve match tooneet at SJP and then will have to gan to work for 9 pm bells for mee usual truck run to Manchester.

Then on Wedinzday aa will have to drag meesel oot of bed after the previous nightshift and catch a train to Liverpool at '1:30pm bells' for wor game with The Toffee Noses!
Then!--after an owerneet stay in central Liverpool a'v got to catch an orly train yem to gan back to work on Thorsday neet!---back to Manchester!

Normally aa would just miss the resorve game, BUT! av NEVAA seen The Toon play Macclesfield before and so it iz a "Must gan game!"
And of course there iz "Ne way!" that aa can miss a forst team game eethaa!

Will let yiz naa how aa get on in due course!

 Footnote:
"HERE WE GAN AGAIN!"
News that 'The Fat Controller' iz aboot to sell up iz great news--- 
IF ITS TRUE WOT HE SAYS!---IF NOT! we are in for yet anothaa winter of discontent!

FA CUP DRAW TOONEET!

Posted '1:25pm bells' Munday 3rd December 2018

The draw for the thord roond of the FA Cup takes place @ '7:30 bells' tooneet and the possibilities of a new ground to visit are endless!
Wot we would like iz a home draw of course, but if not, a tie against one of the lower leegue sides we have nevaa been te, away from home! ---AFC Wimbledon, Newport or Shrewsbury will de nicely!

Wot we definateleee divvint want iz an away tie v Man C, The Liverbirds or The Arse! etc!

NUFC are baall number 27 in the draw, which will take place live on BBC 1 and Radio 5 Live----I will be listennin intentleee on mee truck radio az aa travel across the Peninnes to Eccles, Manchester, to pick up a load of  wood floorin' products and carpets!

'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the draw az soon az we find oot!

Az per usual, "WATCH THIS SPACE!"

Updated '9:50pm bells' in Eccles, Manchester

"Its The Venkys Chicken Mob of Blackborn at SJP!

THE TOON 0 THE JELLIED EELS MOB 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted just before 'high noon bells' Sunday 2nd December 2018

THE BACK PAGE OF THE SUNDAY SUN!!!!

(Coincidence OR skulduggery?)  

"BACK TO SQUARE ONE!"

The 'feel good' factor woz replaced by the 'feel bad' factor once again, az we failed miserably against West Ham, sufferin' wor heaviest defeat of the season and dentin' wor goal difference in the process!

After 3 straight wins everybody woz on 'a high'---but this IZ NUFC and az we have foond in the past, you shud never (ever!) build your hopes up that 'a corner haz been torned'!

The planned protest against wor 'beloved? owner' 'The Fat Controller', where fans waited til the 11th minute to come to the game, aalso fell flat az anly aboot 200 took part ---just az 'The Jellied Eels Mob' scored their forst of 3 goals at 'The Gallowgate End'! (The Fat Controller aalso joined in the protest against himself by not bein there in the forst 11 minutes!---(the number of years he haz been here!)
Come to 'fink' of it---he missed the remainin' 79 minutes of the game az well! (lucky him!)

The forst goal came amid shambolic defendin' az wor visitors beat the offside trap and Hermandez fired home unmarked to put them in front!

We just didn't play like we did at Bornley on Munday neet and were second best to a very average West Ham side!

The second goal came at The Leazes End in the 63rd minute when Hernandez scored again with a lang range effort to put the game 'to bed'!

The final nail in wor 'coffin' came deep into stoppage time, when a missteak by Manquillo 'let in' Anderson and he made 'ne misayke' with a low shot past Dubravka in the Toon goal!

By this time most of the crowd had disappeared into 'the mist' that had enveloped Tyneside---and az othaa results came in, we foond worselz in 15th position and just above the relegation places--once again!

One more to forget---for sure!

PS: Jellied eels are a favourite delicacy in the east end of London (where West Ham play)---hence 'The Jellied Eels Mob'!) 

Team line ups and more pix to follow later az a'm oot on'the hoy' very soon'

Updated Munday 'high noon bells'

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin Schar, Fernandez, Manquillo, Ritchie (Atsu 54), Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Shelvey 70), Perez (Joselu 78), Rondon

Attendance: 51, 853 (3,000 Jellied Eels supporters!)

*

THE TOON v THE JELLIED EELS MOB **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

Posted '5:50pm bells' Friday 30th November 2018

THE BANDSTAND IN LEAZES PARK  BEHIND THE LEAZES END
(pic by 'The Silver Fox')

Tomorrow we face West Ham at SJP hopin' for wor 4th win on the spin!
Hopefully the same team that started against Bornley last Munday will be lined up at '3 bells', az they played reeely well and shud have won easily----if anly Richie hadn't missed THAT sitter and Joselu's shot hadn't rebounded back into play we would have won 4-1 and not 2-1

NUFC v WHU HISTORY LESSON:
1st meetin' 110 years ago @ SJP: 1st February 1908 
 Won 2-0  Toon goalscorer: Bill Appleyard >(Remember him?) >  Attendance: 47,285

Last meetin' 11 months ago @ London Stadium: 23rd December 2017  Won 3-2  Toon goalscorers: Saivet, Diame, Atsu
Attendance: 56,955 (3,000 Toon fans)

AALL TIME RECORD: Played 131  Won 54  Drawn 37  Lost 40

A full match report will appear here sometime on Sunday

PS: There's a boycott of the forst 11 minutes of the game by The Magpie Group in protest at The 11 years of 'The Fat Controller's miserly mismanagement
'The Geordie Times' WONT be joinin in az we 'fink' that its a complete waste of time az wor owner haz a skin az thick az a rhino and it wont bother him at aall (that's IF he bothers to torn up?)
(He WASN'T at Bornley on Munday neet!)

NUFC *** THE LAST TIME WE WON AWAY AGAINST THE CURRENT PREMYAA LEEGUE SIDES

Posted '2:25pm bells' Friday 30th November 2018

TURF MOOR IN 1975   

THE LAST TIME NUFC HAD WON THERE IN A COMPETITIVE GAME

BEFORE MUNDAY'S VICTORY

"AT LAST!"

Wor Premyaa Leegue away win against Bornley on Munday neet at Turf Moor meenz that 'The Geordie Times' haz now seen NUFC win away against EVERY current Premyaa Leegue club for a competitive game!

Bornley woz the anly one left on the list! (although we did win 1-0 in an away friendly in 2001)
The last time we had won there in a competitive game before Munday's win, woz 43 years ago in 1975

The Liverbirds are now the anly current top flight team left, who we haven't beaten away in the 21st century---wor last win at Anfield woz 23 years ago yesterday in 1995 

THE LAST TIME WE WON AWAY:

26th November 2018: The Bornley Hillbillies 2-1

7th April 2018: The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa 2-1

3rd December 2017: The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham 3-2

4th March 2017: 'uddersfield 3-1 (Champoinship)

28th February 2017: Ne Where Near Brightin 2-1

11th February 2017: Wulvzz: 1-0 (Championship)

13th December 2016: Sporz 2-1

7th November 2016: Bournemoooth 1-0

29th October 2014: The Blue Moonies of Manchester 2-0 (Leegue Cup)

21st December 2013: Crysil Paliss 3-0

7th December 2013: Moan U 1-0

5th October 2013: The Taffy Noses of Cardiff 2-1

2nd May 2012: Chelski OAPs 2-0

27th February 2010: The Elton John Mob of Wotfaad 2-1 (Championship)

7th November 2010: The Arse 1-0

18th September 2010: The Toffee Noses of Everton 1-0

15th December 2007: Fulim 1-0

19th September 2004: The Simon Templar Mob of Sooothampton 2-1

29th November 1995: The Liverbirds of Liverpool 1-0 (Leegue Cup)

THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 1 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '1:11pm bells' Tuesday 27th November 2018

"THE LANG WAIT IZ OWER!" (In more ways than one!)

We travelled doon in Big Al's 'jam jar' (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) and the others were 'International Russcue' and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer'!

THE TALBOT

We arrived at '5:30 bells' high up in the hills of Bornley (hence: The Bornley Hillbillies!) and heeded for 'The Talbot' which iz normally wor forst 'port o call' when we come here and where 'Dave from York' and hiz 'merry men' were assembled and hoyin the 'liquid lubrications' back!

THE SWAN

It woz then onward to 'The Swan' just doon the road, before heedin for the groond in plenty of time for the '8 bells' kick off.
We got to wor seats at qwaataa to eight anly to hear that the match had been delayed for half an hour coz the referee's assessor had collapsed in the players tunnel and woz rushed to hospital!

After the lang wait, the game eventually kicked off at '8:32 bells' which iz the latest aa can ever remember a game startin in this country! 
(Aa woz in southern Spain once to watch a NUFC X1 play Huelva in a friendly and the game didn't kick off til '11:00 bells' at neet because of the heat---it finished at '12:45am bells' which meant the match had been played ower 2 days!)

1st HALF ACTION AZ NUFC ATTACK THE FAR GOAL

ANYWAY!---within fower minutes of the eventual start we were in front after a failed clearance from a Bornley defender foond Fernandez and he wellied the baall goalwards. It hit Mee (that's Ben Mee---not 'me' in the away end!) and ricocheded into the net at the far end from us, givin Hart in the home goal 'nee chance'!

2nd HALF ACTION

We were 'coastin' in 'the hills' and we doubled wor lead in the 23rd minute when a Ritchie cross from the far right foond the bonce of Ciaran Clark and he 'glanced' a heeder into the goal to send the Toon faithful wild in the end opposite! 

Inexplicably, when we were well on top, 'The Hillbillies' pulled one back in the dyin' embers of the half with a heeder by Vokes from outside the box!

The 2nd half started off just like the forst, when Matt Richie missed an absolute sitter from one yard oot with the goal gapin'!

Substitute Joselu (who had came on for Rondon) then hit the far post when it woz much easier to score!
Bornley then piled on the pressure az 'little old me' pulled mee hair oot az the clock ticked doon!

4 minutes stoppage time at the end of the half meant that Joe Hart left hiz goal to try and help get an equaliser!---It thankfully never came and the ref blew for full time at '10:28pm bells' by my phone clock and the Toon players celebrated alang with wor fans for finally winnin an away game after a 7 month wait, when we won 2-1 at Lestaa! 

It aalso ended the 'lang wait' for a Premyaa Leegue win on a Munday after TEN defeats in a row!
The lang wait woz ower at last (in more ways than one!) az we made it 3 wins in a row and 4 unbeaten!
NUFC now sit in 13th position in the leegue, havin 'leapfrogged both 'uddersfield and West Ham in the process ----AND we play the latter next Saturday at home! 

Who says that I hate Mundays?

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Fernandez, Clark, Ritchie, Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Hayden 90), Perez, Rondon (Joselu71)

Attendance: 20,628 (2,400 very happy and releeeved Toon fans!)

*

THE BORNLEEE HILLBILLIES v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Munday 26th November 2018

"I (Definatly) DON'T LIKE MUNDAYS!"

We heed across the Peninnes tooneet to play Bornley in a live telly game!
We reeely divvint like Mundays in the Premyaa Leegue az we have lost the last TEN in a row when we have played on the forst day of the week!

We leave at '2:00pm bells' and shud be in wor forst 'waaterin hole' by '5:30 bells' at the latest!

Both Paul Dummett and Muto are unavailable, but both Shelvey and Lascelles are!
NUFC have sold the entire away allocation in wot iz yet anothaa 'must not lose' game!


Its now so tight at the bottom of the table that nearly half the clubs in the Premyaa are near the danger zone!
We sit 15th but are just 1 point off the very bottom of the table!

A full Geordie Times match and pub crawl report will follow by tomorrow afternooon!

Az per usual 'watch this space'!