Thursday, 15 February 2018

200 LIVE TELLY GAMES ANNOONED FROM 2019-2022

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Thorsday 15th February 2018


The mouthwaaterin' new telly deal from 2019 to 2022 haz been annoonced worth 4.464 Billion quid!

Who won wot and wot does it meen for 'The Toon Travellers' who gan to every game! (That's assumin' of course that we are still in the 'top flight'!)
There are 7 packages of which 5 have been decided!


SKY have won the right to show 128 games per season and have forst choice of prime fixtures!    BT get the 'scraps'!

Package A
BT will show 32 games per season--aall '12 30 bells' kick offs on a Saturday

Package B
SKY will show 32 games per season---aall '5 30 bells' kick offs on a Saturday

Package C
SKY will show 24 games on a Sunday at '2 00 bells' and 8 games on a Saturday at '7 45 bells'

Package D
SKY will show 32 games on a Sunday at '4 30 bells'

Package E
SKY will show 24 games on a Munday at '8 00 bells' or Friday between '7 30 to 8 00 bells' plus 8 on a Sunday at '2 00 bells'

Package F
TBC 20 games from 1 bank holiday and 1 mid week fixture

Package G
TBC 20 games from 2 mid week fixtures

I HOPE YOO ARE FOLLOWIN' AALL THIS!?

In othaa words we could be playin anytime and date yoo would care to pick!?

On a personal note I am OK with Saturday neet and Sun7day games as I am off work on weekends anyway!
Friday neets and Munday neets are a bit of a pain though, az I will have to take holidays for them!
(Away games at '12 30 bells' on a Saturday would be a pain az well, az aa work neetshift!)




Tuesday, 13 February 2018

"SORVES THE GREEDY BUSTARD REET!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 13th February 2018

😊😀😁😂😃😄😅😆

"A BLESSIN' IN DISGUISE!"

Woz listenin to the Chelski v WBA game on mee truck radio last neet!

Daniel Sturridge, the man who did a last minute 'u turn' on the motorway on transfor deadline day, when he woz aboot to have a medical with us and went south to West Brom instead 'for family reasons' (AND £100,000 quid a week wages!) , got injured in the very forst minute of the game, when he pulled hiz hamstring--and this brought music to my ears!

It haz torned oot to be 'a blessin in disguise' for us and we are willin to bet that he misses the rest of the season az hiz new team now look aalmost certain to be relegated after losin 3-0!

I divvint want to temp fate, but WBA are now 8 points behind us and have an inferior goal difference, so its pretty safe to say that they wont catch us with just 11 games to gan til the end of the season!

The new management 'team'? of Pardew and Carver are deein a magnificent job there! (remember them?)
WBA were above the relegation zone when they took over from 'The Tramp in a Tracksuit' (Pulis)--and now they are rock bottom!

Wonder how they are aall feelin now???

STOP PRESS!
Just hord on 'SKY' that West Brom have sacked their Chairman and Chief executive!----wonder who will be next???



Monday, 12 February 2018

THE TOON 1 MOAN U 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 12th February 2018



"OH YEE OF LITTLE FAITH!"

The day started off in The Bodega at '11 30am bells'  with me 'finkin' that no matter wot happened we could finish the day ne lower than 17th in the table!
But at 'high noon bells' I woz in for a shock az I'd forgot that 'uddersfield were playin Bournemooth in the orly kick off!

Shud the home side win then we WOULD end up in one of the relegation places before WE'D kick a baall!

And so 'it came to pass' that 'uddersfield took an orly lead az we watched the bar's big screen in horror!   An equaliser soon aftaa had the bar cheerin' but the home side retook the lead to groans from those assembled!

The talk woz then on a relegation battle that more than 50% of Toon tipplers thought we would lose, whereas 'little old me' said that there woz a 50/50 chance of avoidin the drop!

Aa moved on to The Leazes End club behind the East Stand where more doom and gloom emerged when aa foond oot that 'uddersfield had won 4-1 to put us in thord bottom place!

A draw v Moan U woz the best we could hope for aa thought, but NUFC proved me wrang az we put in a 'fight to the death' performance in front of wor 2nd highest crowd of the season!
THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (1st half)
NOTE THE TOTAL ABSENSE OF FLAGS
THE CLUB BANNED THEM AFTER THE PROTEST FLAGS
AT THE BORNLEY GAME! (Below)


To cut a very lang story short, the whole team 'fought for their lives' and we emerged 1-0 winners in the end after Matt Richie scored at The Leazes End in the 65th minute to send the crowd into delirium mode!
In particular, wor new goalie Martin Dubravka, Jonjo Shelvey and Mo Diame had ootstandin' performances in a 100mph game which saw sever8al brilliant saves and blocks on the line to deny Moanrinho's men!

Dwight Gayle woz denied a clear penalty in the forst half when he woz fouled by Smalling, but the blind ref waved 'play on'!?  Jonjo Shelvey aalso went close when hiz shot woz tipped ower the bar by the Moan U keeper De Gea!
NUFC ATTACK THE LEAZES END GOAL

Az the clock agognisingly ticked doon after Richie's goal, we thought that there woz ne way we could prevent an equaliser az several amazin clearances by the above, az wor visitors bombarded the Gallowgate goal!---But it never came and the noise at the final whistle woz deafenin! az we won wor forst home game in the leegue in 4 months!---- We now find worsels in 13th place instead of 3rd bottom place and just 3 points behind Bournemooth in 10th spot and TWO point above 'the abyss'----and guess who we play next in a fortneets time???
GRANDSONS JAMIE AND ZAC LOOK ON ANXIOUSLY AZ MOAN U
POUND THE LEAZES GOAL NEAR THE END OF THE MATCH

  That meenz that there are still ELEVEN teams 'in the mix' to avoid relegation with anly ELEVEN games left!---it's UNREAL!

After the match 'Rafa the Gaffa' said: "My message to the fans, and I think they know it really well, is that this IS a team that cares!"

Jose said: "They fought for their lives and that is a beautiful thing in football!---My verdict is---we could have been here for 10 hours and not scored!
Newcastle played with their lives and defended with their lives!
Were they lucky?---YES!---but sometimes you deserve that luck!"

Amazingleee Jose haz now played here 7 times in the Premyaa Leegue with both Chelski and Moan U and still hasn't won a game!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Ritchie, Shelvey, Diame, Kenedy (Atsu 84), Perez (Hayden  94)
Gayle (Joselu 80)

Attendance: 52,309 (2nd highest of the season by 2 spectators---52,311 torned up v Man City!)
3,100 Muppets in level 7 of The Leazes End who spent virtually the whole match slagging off 'us' and Alan Shearer!---support your team for gods sake you 'Muppets'! <(now yoo naa why we call them that!)
HAPPY TOON FANS ON BARRACK ROAD AFTER THE VICTORY!


*The "Lets gan on the bevvy in
Feb-Brew-ery!" took place in various location before and after the match---includin' The Bodega, Leazes End Club, Premyaa Inn, back to The Bodega and The Star! 


PREMYAA INN



Sunday, 11 February 2018

Friday, 9 February 2018

THE TOON v MOANRINHO AND HIZ MOAN U MUPPETS

Posted '12 50pm bells' Friday 9th February 2018
ST JAMES' PARK FROM CHINA-TOON!

We gan into Sunday's game lookin for wor forst home win in the leegue for nearly 4 months!
We are now just one point above the drop zone with just 12 games left 'to save wor skins'!

New loanee Islam Slimani iz expected to start up front and wor othaa new boy Kenedy iz expected to supply him with 'through balls' and hopefully GOALS!

If yoo were a bettin man/woman yi wouldnt give us much chance against the 2nd best team in the leegue, but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!

Actually, Jose haz said some very nice things about us!
"I think its difficult honestly (the match)
They are beautiful matches but difficult matches!
I like to go there--I like the feeling of going to Mr Robson's home! (Bobby)-- I like the stadium!
I think the stadium is really nice!
I like the atmosphere, they are a good enthusiastic crowd!
I LIKE THE GEORDIES!, I like to go there!"

(PS: I have changed my opinion of him aalready!) (For MOANrinho read MAGrinho!)

By Sunday we could well be in the bottom 3 shud othaa results gan against us on Saturday, but we can anly hope and pray that this isnt the case come Sunday afternooon!


"And now for something completely different!"

As we have ne game tomorrow, some of lads have asked me to drive them to Stranraer tomorrow (in mee 9 seater transit van) for their home game v Arbroath!
They are groundhoppin and aim to complete aall Futbaall Leegue and Scottish League groonds by the end of this season!

They have visited aall groonds south of the border and have 4 to de in Scotland, namely Stranraer, Inverness, Ross Coonty and Peterheed!

Therefore a Stranraer match report of sorts will appear here eventually!--weathaa permittin'!

Updated 10 50am bells Saturday

STRANRAER STRIFE!
Wor planned game in southern Scotland iz OFF!
Luckily we foond oot before we left the Toon!
A mixture of heavy rain and several inches of snow were forecast in the Stranraer area!
Just az well its been caalled off! EH!

Looks like aa'll just have to gan 'on the hoy' instead!😨

Updated Sunday mornin

Stoke's failure to score a last minute penalty meenz that we sit in 17th place and just above Stoke on goal difference!

Even a defeat today will meen we will still be 17th----A win would propel us up to 13th place!
We shall soon find oot!
Correction!   Uddersfield play Bournemooth in the orly kick and if they win we WILL be in the bottom 3!

Wor "Lets gan on the bevvy in FebBrewery!" continues in The Bodega and Leazes End club before the match which kicks off at '2 15 bells'
Thats all for now folks!---Must dash to catch the bus to The Bodega!

Toon match report will follow on Munday!

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

THE CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS U18s v THE TOON U18s *** FA YOUTH CUP

Posted '1:20pm bells' Wednesday 7th February 2018
THE LAST TIME WE WERE AT CARROW ROAD WOZ FOR A 1st TEAM GAME
IN 2016-2017 ***NUFC DREW 2-2

Tooneet wor youth team take on Norwich's equivalent at Carrow Road in the 5th roond of the Youth Cup

WE are gannin for an unequivocal <(we naa aall the big words!) ELEVENTH  successive away win in the competition!!!

We unfortunately wont be there, but will bring yoo the final score az soon az we find oot!

Updated Thorsday dinnaatime

Wor attempt to win a 11th away win in a row in the competion failed az we went doon 4-3 in wot woz a see-saw game!
Norwich came from 2-0 doon to 3-2 up and an injury time goal from Wilson sent the game into extra time---anly for the home side to grab the winner in the 101st minute to send us crashin oot of the competition!😥

Watts and Soressen got wor forst 2 goals!

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

THE 'WINTER' OF DISCONTENT!

Posted '6 40pm bells' Tuesday 6th February 2018

The Geordie Times'z 'little sister The Times of London has done an excellent article by their respected chief sports writer Henry Winter on wor current plight!





THE BANNER IN THE GALLOWGATE END!
IT SAYS: DONT EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CLUB
KEEP SUPPORTING IT. ITS YOUR CLUB TRUST ME
ONE DAY YOU WILL GET YOUR CLUB BACK
AND IT WILL BE EVERYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE
NEWCASTLE UNITED IS BIGGER THAN ANYONE
HE IS ONLY ONE MAN. WE ARE A CITY
A WHOLE POPULATION
IT HURTS I KNOW BUT JUST KEEP GOING
TRUST ME
  





WOLVES U23s 2 THE TOON U23s 0 *** FA PREMIER RESORVE LEEGUE 2

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 6th February 2018

The Toon's second string were in action last neet at Bucks Head, the home of Telford AFC, where Wolves resorves play their home games (Aa wasnt there az we've 'done this one' many moons ago!)

We lost 2-0 which woz wor 5th defeat in a row on the road and a huge crowd of 153 torned up to watch it including at least one 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper!'

Amazingly, az aa drove mee truck up the M1 late last neet the team bus passed me and went into Woodall sorvices, where aa normally stop anyway on the way back from Redditch!
This iz the forst time this haz ever happened to me and it seemed very strange to watch them drive by! (And No!---aa didn't bothaa to ask them for autographs at the sorvices!)

Monday, 5 February 2018

THE CRYSTAL BAALLS 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 5th February 2018
A view to die for!
(And I am 6ft taall!)

"IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR!---THE TOON BAALLS IT UP AGAIN!!"

Because of the orly Sunday kick off time (2 15 bells) we decided to travel doon to 'the smoke' (London) the day before az the forst train from the Toon on a Sunday mornin' doesnt leave til 8am bells--so any problems (and there are many on the East Coast line!) and its a fair bet we would miss the kick off, az Palace's groond iz ower an hour from King's Cross via tube, Victoria train station and a 15 minute waalk to Selhurst Park from Selhurst station
(The train takes 3 hours from the Toon to King's Cross!)

Anyway! We arrived in London at Saturday tea/beer time and heeded for several hostelries to quensh wor thirst (definately ne tea!) (for "Lets gan on the bevvy in Febu-ery!" pub photos see next article doon!)

Wor hotel woz near Euston station and for the 2nd week in a row we checked into The Tavistock hotel (after bein here last week v Chelski)

Next day woz 'match day' and we heeded for sooth London from Victoria station (a quick 'gargel' there!)---and then onward to the Selhurst Railway Club not far from the groond!

It woz 'heavin' with a mixture of both Palace and Toon fans and they were standin 'five deep' at the bar to get sorved!
After jumpin the queue (az yi de!) aa settled doon with mee pint of 'liquid lubrication' for a bit 'chin wag'!

It woz soon time to heed for the tornstiles and the queues at the home end were massive az everybody had a 'body search' to get in!
The queue for 'wor end'  worn't that big and we were soon inside the smaall away concourse, which woz absolutleee rammed!

After struggling for 5 minutes we eventually made it to 'the tool shed' (toilets!) where wor 'liquid lubrications' were disposed of!

After anothaa struggle to get to wor seats in row12 we settled doon for the kick off!

After a couple of orly scares when the home side went close to scorin, it woz NUFC who made the breakthrough when a Kenedy corner foond Mo Diame through a ruck of players and he toe poked the baall into the net at the far end to send the sold oot 2,900 Toon section into joyous celebrations!
(It woz hard to see just who scored az the view from wor seats woz cr*p, but who cared!)
I took this photo with mee
camera phone above mee heed!
(Compare with top photo!)
(The Toon are in black)

We 'hung on in there' til half time and kicked towards wor own fans in the 2nd half, where Perez woz put through by Kenedy in the 47th minute, but wor number 17 lost the baall and the chance woz gone!

The Crystal Baalls pounded wor goal for the equaliser and this came in the 55th minute when 'Clarky' needlessly pulled Benteke's shirt and the ref pointed to the spot after consultin the linesman on the far side! (We hadn't a clue just why the penalty woz given at the time?)
Milivojevic <(hope av spelt that reet?) took it and Darlow got a hand to the baall but couldn't stop it enterin the goal to level things!
Yet again we had surrendered a lead and baalls'd it up!---
A RARE  TOON ATTACK DURIN' THE 2nd HALF! 

It woz then 'backs to the waall' az Palace pounded wor defence az the clock agonisingly ticked doon the minutes left!

It woz a very relieved Toon Army az the ref blew for full time az we thought that the home side would 'nick it'!
A points a point az the torture gans on!---we are ONE point above the drop zone now!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Clark, Lascelles, Dummett, Shelvey, Richie, Diame (Hayden 65), Kenedy (Atsu 57), Perez (Merino 80), Gayle

Attendance: 25,746 (2,900 Toon fans)

"THE TRAIN JORNEY TO HELL!"

We were booked on the '7 bells' train back from King's Cross and after a couple of 'gargels' roond the Euston and King's Cross area we boarded the train that anly had 2 stops (York and Darlo) before reachin the Toon at '9:45 bells' ----WRANG!!!
The train manager came on the tannoy and said: "Because of track and signallin' problems at Grantham we are runnin approximately 20 minutes late!" He apologised for this and repeated it aboot 6 times az the train stopped dead!

We eventually got on the move again BUT! just south of Northalleton the train stopped dead again!
On the announcer came again to tell us that: "A trespasser is on the line at Northallerton and British Transport police are dealin with the incident---we have no idea how long we will be stuck here and there are 3 trains in front of us who are stuck as well!"
More grovelling apologeezzz from him!

ONE HOUR LATER we were still there when the train manager came on the tannoy again!  "The female trespasser has ran away and the police are chasing after her!" (Yi couldnt make it up!---yet more grovelling apologeeez!)

It woz hilarious!----but NOT funny!----We eventually got movin' again and arrived back at 'The Central'  in the Toon at '11 45pm bells'--- TWO hours late!
This meant aa missed mee last bus yem and had to get a taxi at 4 times the expense of a bus ticket!
Wor lass had had mee dinnaa on from '10 bells', thinkin that aa would be back by then----and a BURNT CHOPS meal woz wot aa woz greeted with az a fell through the front door at 'MIDNEET BELLS!'
Who would be a Toon fan????

More pix to follow when aa get the time!

Saturday, 3 February 2018

"LETS GAN ON THE BEVVY IN FEBU-ERY @ PALACE!

Posted from 1:00pm bells onwards Saturday 3rd February 2018
And then onwards from Sunday!


The Febuary pub crawl starts here, in The Star in the Toon the day before!


At Central az King's Cross train pulls in and crosses the sacred Tyne river!
(we are on yet anothaa owerneet stay coz of the 2 15 kick off time tomorrow!)

Forst 'port o call' woz The Northumberland Arms near King's Cross where the resident black n white cat woz keepin guard on the radiator!











Next day at Victoria


Near groond


Drew 1  1 with wor goal comin from Mo Diame in the 22nd minute---- Full Geordie Times match report and pix tomorrow!

The post match 'gargels' took place here in Euston and King's Cross (London)


And then we caught the '7 bells' train back to The Toon!














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