"NEW GROOND! *** NEW GROOND!"

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 3rd December 2017 

Tomorrow evenin' we face anothaa 'lang trek', this time to Colchestaa, where wor U23s are takin' on Colchestaa'z forst team in 'The Premier Leegue Cup' @ The Weston Homes Community Stadium, which iz a NEW LEEGUE GROOND for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' to visit!

We fully expect that at least half a dozen 'mad-sad groundhoppers' will travel doon for this one, with many more Geordie exiles in attendance az well!

Kick off iz at '7 bells'
(Match report and pix to follow on Tuesday)

Meeenwhile!!!--- 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed are takin' on Luton Toon this afternoon at The International Stadium in the 2nd roond of the FA Cup and a good crowd iz expected---if yoo are planning to gan the kick off iz at '2 bells'!

Update: The Heed lost 5-0!-----the draw for the 3rd roond takes place just az wor U23s kick off at Colchestaa!

CHELSKI OAPs 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 3rd December 2017

VIEW FROM ROW 13 'CORNER FLAG UPPER TIER'

"IT'S AALL SO PREDICTABLE!" 

A result we fully expected at the end of the day, but we did take the lead in the 12th minute when Dwight Gayle tapped in at The Matthew Harding End after Murphy woz upended in the box to send the 3,000 faithful in the opposite Shed End wild with delight!

It didnt last long though and the 'hazard warnin lights' came on when Eden Hazard equalised in the 21st minute with a shot which rebounded off the turf and past Karl Darlow into the corner of the net!
It woz soon 2-1 to 'them' 10 minutes later, when a wayward heeder by Ritchie let in Morato, to heed home in front of the Toon fans!

Reeely it woz ower by then, az Chelski made Karl Darlow bring off some excellent saves to keep the score doon to 2-1 by the half time break!

The 2nd half woz played virtually in 'wor half' of the field az the home side went for more goals and predictably they went 3-1 up in the 75th minute, when Ritchie brought doon Moses in the box and Hazard convorted from the penalty spot!
Many Toon fans then 'gave up the ghost' and heeded for the exits, while those that stayed (including 'us') sang their hearts oot for the lads! "We're gonna win F*** aall!" etc!

"THE PAIN TRAIN!" 

Thankfully the OAPs <(their former nickname woz 'The Chelsea Pensioners') didn't add any more, to dent wor goals against column and we trundled to the exits and onwards to King's Cross where we boarded the '5 bells' train back to Tyneside, which unbeleeevableee had a sund'lind emblem on the engine!!!!

"YI COULDN'T MAKE IT UP!"

Thoughts of refusal to get on the train entered wor heeds, but it would have cost 3 figures to book on anothaa train back yem and so we very reluctantly 'lumped it'!---News that the SMBs had lost 3-1 and extended their home record to 21 winless games then reached us!
"HA HA!"---must get this train more often!" ("NOT!")


We are now in 'free faall', havin taken just ONE point oot of the last 18 and are in 14th place, just 5 points above the drop zone az we speak!
Luckily for us, several othaa poor teams are 'in the mix', and this shud just aboot 'save us' at the end of the season (hopefully!?)

Toon team: Darlow, Mbemba, Clark, Lujeune, Manquillo, Diame (Shelvey 75), Merino (Yedlin 85?), Ritchie, Perez (Hayden 62), Murphy, Gayle

Attendance: 41, 538 (3,000 'resigned' Toon fans!)

*For 'Pub crawl' pix see next article doon!

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER BEFORE THE CHELSKI GAME!" LIVE STREAM!

Posted 'very late' bells' Friday 1st December and Saturday 2nd December 2017

Full time  lost 3  1 (Gayle)

The post match drowin of the sorrows took place here!   Match report tomorrow!

*

CHELSKI v THE TOON *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted 'just after high noon bells' Friday 1st December 2017

We gan into Saturday's game away to Chelski havin' 'stopped the rot' of 4 successive defeats on Tuesday at West Brom (2-2)

There IZ a 'slight chink of light' when we gan there, az Chelski struggled to beat 2nd bottom Swanzee 1-0, so (hopefully!) a 'cricket score' will not materialise, cum the '12:30 bells' kick off time!

Az it stands we sit 12th in the table and 5 points above the 'drop zone' and lookin' at the table 12 teams are 'in the mix' from 9th place doonwards!

Again, we have sold wor entire allocation of 3,000 tickets despite the kick off time, which of course meenz that anybody travellin' by coach or drivin', will have to leave at 3 to 4 bells in the mornin' to make the start!

'The Geordie Times' iz takin' the sensible option and we are travellin' doon later this afternoon and stoppin' in a hotel in Fulham (which iz 'next door' to Chelsea!)

The £30 match ticket price iz £25 cheaper than the last time we were here (aye! 55 quid!) thanx to the Premyaa Leegues new maximum price cap, although the train iz very expensive at £81:50 (and that's with a railcard givin' us 33% off!)

A full match report and 'Lets gan on a bender in DECEMBER' pub crawl crusade will appear on theeze pages sometime on Sunday!
PS: Az the kick off time iz so orly, we will probably anly have time to de just ONE bar before the match!

(See 'Bender' article below) 

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER!" CAMPAIGN!

Posted '11 20am bells' Sunday 5th November 2017
Updated Friday December 1st

We at 'The Geordie Times' are sick to death of hearin 'do gooders' tryin to stop us havin a 'gargle or 10' in their 'Dry January' and 'Go sober in October' campaigns--SO! 'The Geordie Times iz 'fightin back' with wor 'LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER!' campaign and we had many Toon fans support us az they joined in wor defiant fight against the non drinkers!

On average 21 boozers are shuttin' each week and more worryingly a staggerin' 30,000 of them have closed their door for the last time since the 1970's when there were more than 75,000 pubs!---Now there are fewer than 47,000!

"The British pub iz unique, rooted in wor history, datin' from Roman and Saxon times!"
(Quote from 'The Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA)

The photos of these 'defiant drinkers' are from The Bodega, The Black Bull and Tilleys Bar before and after the Bournemoooth home game

                         "POWER TO THE PLONKIES!"

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 2 THE TOON 2 PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017 2018

Posted 10:00am bells onwards, Wednesday 29th November 2017 on the train yem!

"THE GREAT ESCAPE!"

Yet anothaa 'faall asleep game' woz endured by the Toon faithful!
Yet again we conceded in forst half stoppage time which meant that went in behind at the break!
It woz soon 2 0 to WBA in the 50th minute when they scored due to slack markin by us and aall looked lost!

However! Just 3 mins later we got 1 back when Clark heeded in a Richie corner to half the defecit!

Then Richie torned provider again from a free kick on the edge of the box which woz sliced into the net by a West Brom player to level things with just 8 mins left---to send the 2,600 Toon fans into extaseee!

Matt Richie free kick which lead to equaliser

'The great escape' had happened and we came away with a precious point which saw us climb to 12th position in the table--- for the time being at least!

Toon Team: Darlow  Yedlin  Lejeune  Clark  Mbemba  Hayden(Shelvey 79)  Merino  Murphy(Aarons 63)  Perez  Richie  Joselu(Mitrovic 73)

Attendance: 25,534 (2,600 very relieved Toon fans!)

VIEW FROM ROW 'AA'

LETS GAN ON A BENDER BEFORE THE WEST BROM GAME!

Posted in Bormingham on a live stream!

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS v THE TOON **** TOON0EET!

Posted 'just before high noon bells' Munday 27th November 2017
Updated '10:00am bells' Tuesday 28th November 2017

Followin' Saturday's disastrous showin against Wotfaad, we must pick worsels up for anothaa 'six pointer' when we travel to the Midlands to take on a West Brom side that are 3 places below us in the leegue in 17th place and just 3 points behind us!

We understand that Gary Megson WILL still be in charge of them by the '8 bells' kick off time!

We reeely MUST get sommik oot of this game or else we are in serious trouble with visits to Chelski on Saturday and games against The Arse and Man C to follow later on in December!

4 defeats in a row with just 1 goal scored and 9 conceded, iz very worryin' indeed, az we gan into the hectic Xmas period with 7 games to play in 28 days!

We are on wor travels once again at dinnaatime az we heed for Bormingham New Street on the 'choo choo' train---and then onward to The Hawthorns from there!
We have sold aall wor away alloction of 2,600 tickets for The Smethwick End!

A full Geordie Times match and 'bender' report will follow sometime on Wednesday when we get time!   

THE TOON 0 WOTFAAD 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:03am bells' Sunday 26th November 2017

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

"WOTFAAD GAP!" (7 points!)

The Geordie Times reeely hates writin reports like this, but write them we must!

Without doubt this woz wor worst performance for a lang, lang time az we pressed the 'self destruct button'!

It wasnt that Wotfaad were that good, but they were far too good for us, az we played with ne shape and ne defence in this one sided game.

They started off well az they attacked the Gallowgate goal az 'we' couldn't get oot of forst gear!
They went 1-0 up in the 19th minute when Hughes shot into the corner of the net!
They had othaa gilt edged chances to increase their lead az wor 'powder puff' attack of Joselu and Gayle failed to dent the Wotfaad defence, despite at least 3 good chances! (If anly we had De Bruyne or Lukaku in wor team!)

And then the 'killer goal' bang on half time (just like at Moan U last week!) when Yedlin deflected the baall into hiz own net from a cross shot!

We couldn't see anyway back after this and so it proved in the 62nd minute when Gray added a 3rd at The Leazes End in front of their 2,000 plus travellin support high up in 'the gods'!

'BLURRED ACTION' AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL!

The introduction of Merino and 'Mitro' in the 69th minute made ne difference az this woz too little too late!
10 minutes from the end Toon fans started to leave in their droves az the Wotfaad fans celebrated their FOURTH win in a row ower us and inflicted 'wor' FOURTH defeat in a row az we dropped to 13th place in the table az Wotfaad moved 7 points clear of us in 8th place!
(We WILL slip even forthaa doon the table az 2 teams below us play each othaa this afternoon, no matter the score! (Sooothamptin v Evaatin)

We are nuw just FOUR points above the drop zone with some very tough games comin' up in December!
Meeenwhile, we are off to The Baggie Troosers of West Brom on Tuesday neet for yet anothaa 'must win game' against this (so far!)managerless team, after 'The Tramp in a Tracksuit' (Tony Pulis) got the 'bullet' last week! (they are a point above the drop zone!)

(PS: For the benefit of those of yoo who are readin this from overseas, wor headline, 'Wotfaad Gap' (Watford Gap) iz a motorway service area on the way to London on the M1)

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Clark, Lejeune, Manquillo, Diame (Merino 69), Shelvey, Ritchie, Murphy (Perez 77), Joselu (Mitrovic 69), Gayle

Attendance: 52,188 (2,200 happy traveller from Hertfordshire!)

The "Lets gan on a bender!" campaign continued az these Toon fans below defied the "Lets go sober!" brigade in the packed Leazes End Club and Bodega!