'CHECK' IT OOT---DRAW THIS AFTERNOOON!

Updated 'high noon bells' Wednesday 12th July 2017

The draw for The Checkatrade Trophy northern section takes place this afternoon at '3 bells'

There are 8 groups of 4 teams---3 of each group are from the lower leegues, plus 'Category One' Academy' sides of 'the BIG guns' from the top flight (ie: includin' 'US')
(at least 6 players must be under the age of 21)


There are 3 'mouth waterin' possibilities of gettin' a groond we have neva been te

And they are!!!:
Group A: Fleetwood Toon
Group C: Rochdale
Group E: Shrewsbury Toon
We have been to aall the othaa groonds in the othaa northern groups

Games are to be played from late August onwards!
Yoo can bet your bottom dollar that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the news of the draw LAST on Thorsday---az wor faithful carrier pigeon iz 'gettin on a bit' and cant fly very fast theeze days az hiz left wing iz a bit 'nackered'! (see below!)

"THE DRAWS TODAY--SO I'LL LET YOO KNOW BY THORSDAY!
PANT!--PANT!---OH! MY ACHIN' WING!--COOO!--COOOOO!!!"

 

 



TOON LEGENDS 6 or 7 *** FELLING X1 1 or 3 (TAKE YOUR PICK!)

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 10th July 2017

The Pavel Cup in aid of St Oswalds Hospice drew a crowd of 500 to Federation Park in Dunston yestaaday

Amongst 'The Toon Legends' there woz Peter Beardsley, Steve Howey, Gavin Peacock, Steve Harper, Kieth Gillespie and Gazza, who made a suprize appearance az he wasn't due to play!

Goals from wor former goalie Steve Harper (who woz playin' outfield) started the rout for 'The Legends' and forthaa goals from Paul Robinson, Peter Beardsley--a hat-trick from Keith Gillespie and one from Gazza near the end sealed an emphatic win!


GAZZA (centre of pic) MAKES A SUPRIZE APPEARENCE FOR
'THE TOON LEGENDS'

I woz in the clubhouse for approx. 50% of the game and missed some of the goals---and woz told that the final score woz 6-3---on enterin' the clubhoose at the end Barry the ref (who woz Liam's dad who tragically lost hiz life alang with John 'The Undertaker' 3 years ago) told me the final score woz in fact 6-1?

A text message from 'Colonel Gadaffi' in London said The 'Ronny Gill' had given the score az 7-1 on hiz phone 'app'???

Who naaz just wot the final score woz?---but everyone seemed to enjoy themsels---especially Gazza, who woz inundated with requests for autographs and 'selfies' 

GRANDSON JAMIE MEETS GAZZA

  


3 YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER FREYA 'THE LITTLE KITTEN'
ENJOYS HOR FORST EVER 'TOON' GAME

NUFC PREMYAA LEEGUE FIXTURE LIST 2017-2018 (UPDATE)

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 14th Joon 2017
Updated 'high noon bells' Friday 7th July 2017

IT'S SPORZ AT HOME ON A SUNDAY---AGAIN!

The new Premyaa Leegue fixtures are now oot and have been 'kind' to us, with not too many 'big gun games' to start with! (Just 2 of last seasons 'top 6' in the forst 3 months (both at SJP)

We start off where we ended in The Premyaa Leegue last time with a home game v Sporz, who we thrashed 5-1 in front of a capacity crowd after we'd been relegated

Thankfully, unlike last season, AALL lang distance away games are 'pencilled in' for a weekend (roond trips of 500 miles or more)(for now!)

We visit The Olympic Stadium/London Stadium for the very forst time just before Xmas and travel to 'new Wembley' in mid March to face Sporz!
Of course many of the fixtures will be moved to accommodate Sky and BT and for teams who are playin' in Europe
(we reckon at least HALF wor fixtures will be moved!) 

Fixtures are in 'Geordie Times' cryptic code' to avoid any F.A copyright infringements (work them oot!) (For those of yoo with 'half a sheeps brain', there are 'clues' at the bottom of the page!)

Updated 7th July 2017
5 of wor forst 7 games have been moved to a Sunday and wor fixtures up until 1st October will not change and are in heavy type--- Home games in GOLD *** Away games in PINK
Aall othaa fixtures after this date could change
Next live telly games due to be announced on Friday 11th August

AUGUST 2017
Sun 13: Sporz  home '1:30 bells' (SKY)
Sun 20: 'uddersfield away '1:30 bells' (SKY
Leegue Cup 2nd roond (ne dates or opponents yet)
Sat 26: The Jellied Eels Mob home '3 bells'

SEPTEMBER 2017
Sun 10: Swanzee away '4 bells' (SKY)
Sat 16: The P*ss Potters home '3 bells'
Sun 24: (ne where near) Brightin away '4 bells' (SKY)

October 2017
Sun 1: The Liverbirds home '4:30 bells' (SKY)
Sat 14: Sooothampton away
Sat 21: The Crystal Baalls home
Sat 28: Bornley away

November 2017
Sat 4: Bournemoooth home
Sat 18: Moan United away
Sat 25: Wotfaad home
Tue 28: The Baggie Troosers away

December 2017
Sat 2: Chelski OAPs away
Sat 9: The Basil Brush Brigade home
Wed 13: The Toffee Noses home
Sat 16: The Arse away
Sat 23: The Jellied Eels Mob away (new groond!)
Tue 26: Manc Blue Moonies home
Sat 30: (ne where near) Brightin home

January 2018
Sat 6: FA Cup 3rd roond  (draw not made yet of course!)
Sat 13: Swanzee home
Sat 20: Manc Blue Moonies away
Wed 31: Bornley home

February 2018
Sat 3: The Crystal Baalls away
Sat 10: Moan United home
Sat 24: Bournemoooth away

March 2018
Sat 3: The Liverbirds away
Sat 10: Sooothampton home
Sat 17: Sporz away (new Wembley!)
Sat 31: 'uddersfield home

April
Sat 7: The Basil Brush Brigade away
Sat 14: The Arse home
Sat 21: The Toffee Noses away
Sat 28: The Baggie Trooosers home

May
Sat 5: Wotfaad away
Sun 12: Chelski OAPs home (Last game date can't change)

Clues (for those of yoo who are 'clueless'!):

Sporz=Geordie Slang

'uddersfield=Yorkshire slang

The Jellied Eels Mob= A favourite delicacy in the east end of London

Swanzee=Geordie slang

The P*ss Potters=Part of the nickname for a Staffordshire club

(Ne where near) Brightin=This groond iz 6 miles from the centre of their toon, in the middle of 'ne where'!

The Liverbirds=It's the badge on their chests!

Sooothampton=Geordie slang

The Crystal Baalls=They play in a condemned 'palace'

Bornley=Geordie slang

Bournemoooth=Geordie slang

Moan United=Their manager iz aalways 'moanin'

Wotfaad=Geordie slang

The Baggie Troosers=One of their nicknames, from a toon near Bormingham

Chelski OAPs=Their nickname used to be 'The Pensioners', az this iz the home of old war veterans

The Basil Brush Brigade=Their nickname iz 'The Foxes' who are former winners of The Premyaa Leegue

The Toffee Noses=Part of their nickname, from Morseyside

The Arse=Their fans are complete 'arseholes' who want rid of their manager, despite winnin' the FA Cup 3 times in the last 4 years?

Manc Blue Moonies=A Lancashire team who play in light blue



Geordie Times copyright warning!: The above fixtures are under strict 'cryptic code' copyright to 'The Geordie Times and any infringements will be severely dealt with!
Yoo will be arrested by men in white coats--placed into a straight jacket (kickin' and screamin' if necessary!)---marched to The Stadium of SHH! (yee naa wot!)---where yoo will be suspended (upside doon!) from a floodlight gantry---and forced to watch sund'linds forthcomin' home game against Burton Albion (whenever that iz played!)
We realise that this punishment is severe--but copyright MUST be protected!

SUNDAY SORVICE FOR TOON FANS

Posted '1:30pm bells' Thorsday 6th July 2017

5 oot of wor forst 7 games have been picked for live telly on SKY.
AALL of them have been moved to a Sunday with various kick off times.

Sunday 13th August: Sporz @ SJP @ '1:30 bells'
Sunday 20th August: 'uddersfield away @ '1:30 bells'
Sunday 10th September: Swanzee away @ '4 bells'
Sunday 24th September: (ne where near) Brightin away @ '4 bells'
Sunday 1st October: The Liverbirds @ SJP @ '4:30 bells'

THE GEORDIE TIMES TEAM *** NEW SIGNINGS! *** 'THE FAB 4'

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 6th July 2017

'THE FAB 4 !'

THE GEORDIE TIMES TEAM OOTSIDE GEORDIE TIMES HQ
BACK ROW: ZAC (6) (GEORDIE TIMES PAPPARAZI PHOTOGRAPHER!)
JAMIE (7) (GEORDIE TIMES CHEEF EDITAA!)
FRONT ROW: KAI (2) (GEORDIE TIMES 'GEORDIE' TRANSLATER!)
FREYA (3) (GEORDIE TIMES 'MAKE UP' ARTIST--
ie: SHE 'MAKES IT UP' AZ SHE GANS!)

Az we told yoo yesterday there are 4 new signings!!!!------------------for 'The Geordie Times' that iz!!!!!
(yi didn't 'fink' we meant for NUFC---did yoo?)

JAMIE (ON THE RIGHT) BROKE HIZ ARM 2 WEEKS AGO
THE DOCTORS AT THE HOSPITAL SAID HE COULD HAVE A
PLASTER CAST OF ANY COLOURS HE LIKED
--- BLUE, GREEN, ORANGE, PORPLE, ETC!
JAMIE INSISTED ON HAVIN' A ONE WITH BLACK N WHITE STRIPES!
"HA!--HA!--I'VE GOT HIM 'BRAINWASHED' AALREADY!!!"

THE PRESS MAKE A MAD SCRAMBLE TO GET THEIR EXCLUUUSIVE PHOTOS!

"SSSHHH!!!"----"4 NEW SIGNINGS IMMINENT!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 5th July 2017


"THERE'LL BE 4 NEW SIGNINGS TOMORROW!"---
"IT'S TOP SECRET!--DIVVINT TELL ANYBODY!---COOO!---COOOOO!"


After the acquisition <(we naa aall the big words!) of Flo Lejeune 'The Geordie Times' can excluuusivleee reveeel that there are 4 more new signings in the pipeline, accordin' to wor undercover club 'insider' 'Secret Pigeon' (above)
We have excluusive pics of wor new signings, but are under strict instructions not to reveeel them til tomorrow @ 'high noon bells'

WATCH THIS SPACE @ 'HIGH NOON BELLS' TOMORROW!

"HO!-HO!-HO!-"-WE'VE GOT FLO!" (AT LAST!---SOME PROGRESS IN THE TRANSFOR MAKET!")

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 4tyh July 2017


JUST IN CASE YOO DIVVINT BELEEEVE US!

Wor forst new signing haz arrived at last and it's ne suprize to find oot that it's French central midfielder (centre half to aall yeez 'oldies'!) Florian Lejeune from Spanish side Eiber for a reported 10 million euros
Born in Paris 26 years ago (ie: he's aged 26!) he haz signed a 5 year contract and said:
"I am very happy to be here!"---When you have a manager like Rafa Benitez, who wants you--you are very happy to come!"
"It was an easy decision to come here!"
Rafa said:
 "I would like to welcome Florian---He is a player who has done very well in Spain this year!"
"He has progressed a lot as a player in the last few years and I know that he will give us something different at the back!"
"He's good with both feet, he's big and he's good in the air also!"

So the rumours that Rafa 'would waalk' because of lack of transfor deals iz more 'fake news' from the media!

More signings are imminent we beleeeve!

HOUSEHOLD NAME JOINS THE SMBs !

Posted '11:11am bells' Munday 3rd July 2017

SOMEWHERE IN THE BOWELS OF
THE STADIUM OF SSSHHH! (YEE NAA WOT!)
"OOOOH!"---"SHUT THAT DOOR!"

News that wor arch enemeez 'The mackems' have appointed Simon  Grayson az their new manager haz eventually reached us by carrier pigeon < (how else would we find oot?)

Last Friday on 'Radio Newcasil' a reporter went to sund'lind to find oot their fans reaction to the news in a live broadcast (which I listened to on mee truck radio)---most were totally underwhelmed by hiz appointment and quite a few had NEVER hord of him!

But the best comment came from someone with a 'thick' mackem accent, when he said--------after a long pause!:
"Da yaa meen that p**f  who used to host 'The Generation Game' on the telly?"--"I thought he woz DEAD!"
(He woz referrin' to LARRY Grayson the 'camp' comedian!)

Yoo couldn't make it up!----'Deadwood' more like!

NEW SIGNINGS?

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 2nd July 2017

With just one day before NUFC players gan back to pre season trainin' and we still divvint have any new faces in the team yet?
Many Toon fans (includin' me!) are now gettin' a bit anxious az to just wot iz happenin' behind the scenes @ SJP

There's still plenty of time of course az players come back from their holiday breaks and hopefully there will be some breakthroughs in the followin' days--so (az Corporal Jones would say!)----  "divvint panic!"

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS *** 'CHECK' IT OOT!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 1st July 2017

SPOTLAND, ROCHDALE *** "I HAVE A DREAM!"

News that NUFC are to enter an U21s side in The Checkatrade Trophy next season haz just been conformed!
16 Premyaa and Championship sides are to take part, alang with the 48 sides in League 1 and 2

This gives 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' anothaa chance to add yet more leegue groonds to wor 'list'--although in my case (Fink), just 13 oot of the current 92 have still to be visited--aall Leegue 1 and 2 sides, plus West Ham's new abode

HIGHBURY STADIUM, FLEETWOOD *** "I HAVE A DREAM!"

The 'exciting news' iz!---that we will be in a group of 4 northern lower leegue teams, which we must play away--meeenin' that the likes of visits to Rochdale and Fleetwood are a distinct possibility!
(Aa bet you're 'droolin at the mouth' aalready!)

Leegue groonds still to be visited by 'The mad-sad groundhoppers':
(It shud be noted that in wor history, NUFC have NEVER played at these groonds eethaa!)

Premyaa Leegue: (1)
1: Olympic/London Stadium, West Ham (been to old groond of course!)

Championship: (0)
NONE!

Leegue One: (7)
2: Wimbledon (been to old groond(s!)
3: Bristol Rovers (been to old groond(s!)
4: Fleetwood Toon
5: MK Dons
6: Northampton Toon
7: Rochdale
8: Shrewsbury Toon (been to old groond!)

Leegue Two: (5)
9: Barnet (been to old groond!)
10: Colchester United
11: Newport Coonty
12: Wycombe Wanderers (although I have been to 'Whickham' to watch wor juniors a few years ago!)
13: Forest Green Rovers (Forest Green who?)

The Checkatrade Trophy draw will be made on
Wednesday 12th July *