THE TOON 2 THE BLUE WIGS 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '8:18am bells' Sunday 2nd April 2017
Updated Munday

"IT'S LOOKIN' GOOD--- BUT!---
DIVVINT COONT YI CHICKENS YET!"

Again we struggled at home against 'easy meat' but somehow managed to pull sommik 'oot of the hat' to win by a very narrow margin!

1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES END GOAL

Both Dwight Gayle and Lascelles came close in the orly periods with heeders and shots respectively, but the big breaktrough came in the 36th minute when a cross from Diame foond Gayle for an easy tap-in @ The Leazes End!
That's the way it stayed til half time despite 'The Blue Wigs' comin' close on a couple of occasions!

VIEW OF CITY CENTRE AND BEYOND!

And then an 'April Fools 'disaster'!---- Jacobs woz allowed to gan past Lascelles and hit a shot past Karl Darlow in The Toon's goal to level things in the 50th minute!
A purple patch ten followed from wor visitors and they went close with a free heeder and a shot across the box which shud have seen them take the lead---but thankfully their finishin' woz poor and the score stayed the same!-----UNTIL! a Paul Dummett cross foond Gouffran who made a hash of hiz effort---the baall fell to Matt Richie's feet and he volleyed a shot which hit the ground forst, before bouncin' back to him off the post--for him to nod into the net @ The Gallowgate End to send the 50,000 plus Geordies into raptures!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE GALLOWGATE END

Wigan were dispondant and a blatent penalty woz torned doon when Richie woz tripped in the box, but the ref waved 'play on' WHY???---it woz a stone waall penalty????

After a norvy end to the game the ref finally blew the full time whistle, much to the relief of the crowd!
More 'good news' woz to follow on 'April Fools Day' with the defeats of both 'uddersfield (who unexpectedly lost at home to Bortin) and Leeedz (who lost to Readin') who sat in 3rd and 4th places behind us!

We are nuw TEN POINTS clear of 'uddersfield, and the anly disappointment woz Brighton's win against Blackborn who sit one point behind us in 2nd place!

With just 7 games to gan nuw---we just need to 'plod on'!!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Hanley, Lascelles, Dummett,Richie, Shelvey, Colback, Gouffran (Hayden 70), Diame (Atsu 63), Gayle (Perez 80)

Attendance: 51,849 (1,150 Blue Wigs)
*  

THE TOON v THE BLUE WIGS *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Updated '11:11am bells' April Fools Day 2017

ACTION AT WIGAN ORLIER THIS SEASON *** NUFC (in black) WON 2-0

Havin' seemingly played a game every 3 days in February/orly March we are back in business again, after a fortneets 'lay off' due to the International break!
The 'Blue Wigs' of Wigan are next on the agenda in a '3 bells' kick off at SJP today!
This, I have to tell yoo, iz the LAST '3 bells' Saturday KO of the season, with the rest of the 7 games left bein' played on a Wednesday,  Saturday '5:30 bells', Friday, Munday, Munday ,Friday and Sunday! ---At least 4 of these games have been picked for live telly!

Wigan, who are in the relegation mire, will have a followin' of just 1,150 in 'level 7' of The Leazes End
This iz yet anothaa 'must win game' to keep us in 'top gear' and with Bortin Albion to come on Wednesday a maximum 6 points iz wot we need, before heedin' for the 'delights'? of Sheffield when we will play 'The Hillsborough Hillbillies' the followin' Saturday teatime!
3 games a week again, az the finishin' line looms closer and closer!
(Match report sometime tomorrow or Munday)

Az this iz 'April Fools Day' 'The Geordie Times' haz ne hesitation on publishin' this 'classic tale' which happened 45 years ago today in 1972. (see below)

'Daft Tommy' who features heavily in this story aall them years ago, iz sadly ne langer with us!  RIP Tommy

TOON FANS ON VACATION!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 27th March 2017

With 2 weeks 'to kill' between games, many Toon fans took in games elsewhere in Ing-er-land and 'Jock-o-land' ---some gannin' to Dunston! some gannin to Edinburgh City, some to Hibs and some to Stenhousemanure!

Some even ventured abroad to Spain ,where they took in visits to Atletico Madrid's and Real Madrid's stadium's, plus many (many!) bars of course!
 'The Geordie Times' haz an excluuuusive 'paparazzi' zoooom lenz photo of a bar in a place caalled Toledo near Madrid, where some 'Toonhoppers' ended up!

"THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM 'THE GEORDIE TIMES' PAPARAZZI !"

"YET ANOTHAA SPANNER IN THE WORKS!"

Posted '1:33pm bells' Munday 27th March 2017

"EIGHTY QUID!---YOUR HAVIN' A LAFF!"

Tickets for wor away games at Sheff Wed and Ipswich Toon are now on sale---Sheff Wed are chargin' us £42.50 to get in!, while Ipswich are demandin' £37.50!---a total of EIGHTY QUID to watch Championship futbaall!--(that's £20 higher than 2 Premyaa Leegue away games!---max £30 per game!)

Aalso anothaa 'spanner in the works' iz wor away game in Cardiff, which haz been moved to a Friday neet!---meenin' more days off work of course!
Meeenin' that wor 5 longest distance trips have AALL been played (or will be played) on a week day!
Brighton, Readin' and Norwich,  have been played midweek with Ipswich (Easter Munday) and now of course, Cardiff, to come!
(live telly rules OK!)

If ever there woz a reason to get oot of this division, then the above iz surely that!

BAD BLUE BOYS 0 WHITLEY BAY WATCHERS 1 *** NORTHERN LEEGUE 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 26th March 2017


To get mee Saturday 'fix' aa had to gan to Federation Park in Dunston for their game v Whitley Bay az NUFCs forst team wornt in action coz of the 2 week International break!



The clubhoose woz mee forst 'port o call' where several bottles of 'Dog' were consumed (2!) before kick off (Dog = Newcasil Brooon Ale!)


"HURRY-HURRY!-HURRY!"





INSIDE CLUBHOOSE ***FA VASE WINNERS MEMORABILIA FROM 2012

It woz a bright sunny day in Dunston az the game started, in front of a 200 plus crowd, of which aroond aboot 50 were Baywatchers fans!


'THE BAD BLUE BOYS' ARE IN AALL BLUE!

'Bay' took the lead halfway through the forst half aftaa the Bad Blue Boys keeper had made a great save, but unfortunately for him the baall rebounded to one of 'Bays' forwards and he 'wellied it' into the back of the net at 'The Tea-Hut End'

The Bay keeper then got sent off for bringin' a Dunston forward doon on the edge of the box and az he woz 'last man', the ref had ne option but to send him for an orly bath!
An outfield player then took hiz place (reluctantly!) az they had ne replacement keeper on the bench! 

The home side couldn't take advantage of this and the teams went in at half time with the score still 1-0 to the visitors!

The Whitley Baywatchers took to a defensive formation in the 2nd period and somehow managed to hang on for the victory despite their 10 men, to de the double ower The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston

PART OF THE HUGE CROWD!

(They'd won the home game 2-1 the othaa week)

It woz then back to the clubhoose for some more 'Dog' before heedin' for The Royal and The Tudor Rose alang the road, to finish off  'the afternoon session'! 
Attendance: 278

TEAM SHEET

 

BLANKETY BLANK X 9!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Saturday 25th March 2017


"I'M BACK AGAIN FOLKS!"

Havin' played 11 games in 6 weeks from the beginnin' of February, we then find worsels withoot a game for 2 weeks because of the International break!
It's total madness to play so many games in such a short period and then find worsels with nowt for 14 lang days! (Today iz the NINTH Saturday 'Blankety Blank' of the season--so far!)

Because we need wor 'Saturday fix' we are off on a very short jorney today to see 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' play 'The Whitley Bay Watchers' in a Northern Leegue game @ Federation Park in Dunston---a good half a mile from the Metro Centre and 2 miles from SJP!

A match report from that game will appear here in good time and 'the clubhoose' at Dunston will be wor forst 'port o caall' for the 'liquid lubrications'! ("hic!")

It's the hottest day of the year so far and 'T shirt' weathaa, az the sun shines brightly ower the sacred River Tyne az we speak!

More to follow presentleeee!

THE BRUMMIE BLUE NOSES 0 THE TOON 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 20th March 2017


"MISS 'WHIPLASH' IZ ALIVE AND KICKING!"

After three and a half hours sleep after finishin' nightshift "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" it woz 'up again' at '6am bells' to catch the '7:22 bells' train doon to Bormingham (via Doncaster)

We'd booked a hotel in 'Donny' az there woz a replacement bus service from York to Darlo on the way back--- and then back on a train to The Toon! (that's train-bus-train!) 
Tooo much 'hassle' so we decided to come back the next day instead and have a neet in downtown Doncaster (Donny)

We got off the train in Donny and dropped wor bags off at The St Leger Hotel which iz next to the racecourse and then grabbin' a pint in 'The Mallard' next to the station before jumpin' back on the train to New Street (Bormingham)



The next part of the jorney woz a bit chaotic to say the least az we had tickets from Donny to Sheffield--Sheffield to Derby---and then Derby to Bormingham---aall in different seats in the same carriage!
(This woz to save £50 instead of bookin' direct to wor destination!)

Because the train woz packed we had to vacate wor seats 3 times to let people who had booked them into them--and then hoy people oot, who were sittin' in wor new seats---aall in the space of an hour--which iz a 'new world record' for changin' seats on a train (4 times if yoo include Toon to Donny!)-------I hope yoo are followin' aall this?

ENTRANCE TO THE 'WELLY'

Anyway!--On wor arrival at New Street ('11 bells') we headed for wor fave haunt roond theeze parts--'The Welly' (for the 4th time this season!) which iz up a hill from the station

It woz then onward to The Bordsley Club which iz a 10 minute walk from St Andrews before heedin for the tornstiles!

ENTRANCE TO CLUBHOOSE

"EVERY CLOUD HAZ A SILVER LINING!"


1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON ATTACK 'WOR END' (we are in white)
The steward at the front iz supposed to be watchin' the crowd--NOT! the match!
 


It torned oot to be anothaa drab game and the main taalkin' point woz a disallowed goal in the forst half, scored by Matt Richie az he scrambled the baall into the back of the net directly in front of us!
"GOAL!"---and for a few seconds it woz---UNTIL!!!---the linesman on the far side belatedly raised hiz flag for 'offside' and the goal waz chalked off!
From where we were at the front (see above pic) it looked a porfectleee good goal?

We had a few chances after this 'to win it' but the Brummie goalie woz on form to deny us and the game ended goal-less!
ONE point anly--BUT! az wor main rivals 'uddersfield had lost 4-0 at Bristol the neet before and Brighton lost 2-0 at Leeedz in the live teatime game after wor match, we'd actually GAINED groond on both of them!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE FAR END
(A'd moved forthaa back to get a better view!)

After the match we heeded back to Donny for the evenin' 'session' where several 'liquid lubrications' were consumed--but not one of them in 'The Staff of Life'--a boozer tucked away in a side street in the toon centre!
We entered the bar where six people were sittin' on stools aroond the bar coontaa with the manageress behind the bar taalkin' aboot somebody gettin' 'a good spankin'!!!!


'THE STAFF OF LIFE! (WITH the curtains open!)


The manageress looked az us az though we'd just waalked into hor hoose uninvited and said abruptly, "We're CLOSED!"
"It's anly haff past NINE!", we protested, but she woz havin' none of it and asked us to leave!

We did and took wor custom to a boozer next door caalled The Doncaster Brewery and telt the manageress there wot had just happened!
"Oh!" she said, "It's a very strange set up in there!"--but didn't elaborate, so we left it at that! (We'd renamed hor 'Miss Whiplash' by this time!)

To get to the 'tool shed' in this bar yoo had to waalk past several vats of beer fermentin' in the next room and the smell of hops sent yoo 'high az a kite' az yoo waalked past!--a strange set up indeed!

THE 'SCENIC ROUTE' TO 'THE TOOL SHED'!

On leavin' the bar at 'chuckin oot time', we noticed that 'The Staff of Life' curtains had been drawn!!!---wot woz gannin' on inside we thought???---(Your guess iz az good az mine!)

After a 'nose-bag', it woz back to the hotel for a few hours kip "ZZZZzzzz!!!!" before catchin' the '9:30 bells' train back to The Toon the next mornin', wonderin' just wot HAD happened 'the neet before' in 'yoo naa where'????---THE MIND BOGGLES!!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Hanley, Lascelles, Dummett, Richie, Diame, Colback, Gouffran (Atsu 82), Murphy (Gayle 63), Perez, (Shelvey 78)

Attendance: 19,796 (3,200 Toon fans)

* Some othaa boozers visited in Donny

THE SALUTATION

 

BRUMMIE BLUE NOSES v THE TOON **** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '6:15am bells' Saturday 18th March 2017

We woz here in the FA Cup, just 2 months ago!

We face a 'pressure cooker' game later today when we heed for Bormingham once again (wor 4th visit ti the 2nd city this season!)
Brum in the FA Cup, Villa and Wolves)

'uddersfield's 4-0 defeat last neet at The Big Bristols meeenz that if? we can win then we will gan NINE points clear of them again!

Az per usual we will be heedin' for 'The Welly' near New Street train station for the pre match gargels and then onward to St Andrews!

Match report to follow on MUNDAY az aa divvint get back til Sunday afternoon!
"Must dash!---got a train to catch!!!"

" I DONT LIKE MUNDAY'S!"

Posted '12:53pm bells' Thorsday 16th March 2017

Yet anothaa game haz been moved for live telly!---This time it's Preston 'Dead End' who must now travel to SJP on Munday 24th April
(I bet their fans are happy aboot that!?) (NOT!)

Neetha a'm aa!--az aa will have to take yet anothaa days holiday to gan to the match az aa work nightshift!
That'll be the TENTH days holiday a'll a'v had to take so far this year!--and we still haven't had the Cardiff away game conformed yet!
"Pleeeeeze!--not a Munday or Friday neet!"

THIS WEEK WILL DEFINE WOR SEASON!

Posted '1:37pm bells' Tuesday 14th March 2017

Havin' had a hectic month with 3 games a week, we now find worsels with just ONE game between now and April Fools Day!
(Because of Internationals)

That game iz at 'The Blue Noses of Bormingham' on Saturday @ '3 bells', where we desperately need a win and 3 more precious points!

Aall eyes (and ears!) on Friday neet will be on Bristol, where 'uddersfield play The Big Bristols!
Shud they win (god forbid!) then they will be just THREE points behind us and 'Ne Where Near' Brighton before we play! (a fortneet ago they were ELEVEN points behind us!)

With Leeedz and 'The Hillsborough Hillbillies' (Sheff Wed) slippin' up, it looks like a 3 horse race for the 2 automatic promotion spots!
(Brighton are at Leeedz in an evenin' kick off on Saturday!)

The norves are janglin' aalready in anticipation/trepidation! of the weekends games, az the final countdown begins!