THE BISCUITMEN 0 THE TOON 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:05am bells' Thorsday 9th March 2017
(Updated 'high noon bells' Friday)

THE TOON (in black n gold) ATTACK 'WOR END' (1st half)
(View from row 4)

The marathon thord away leg of the week took place at Readin' on Tuesday neet where we could anly draw 0-0!

But it still iz a very good result when yoo consider where we could have been had we lost the previous 2 games!
7 points from 9 against wor promotion challengers keeps us in the drivin' seat with just 10 games to gan!

The team not surprisingly--(just like the fans) looked tired az we have clocked up nearly1,500 miles on wor travels watchin' the 3 away games in 7 days!

The 'highlight' of the forst half woz when Matt Richie hit the inside of the post just before the break and we went in 0-0 at the break.

In the 2nd half Shelvey and Gouffran had efforts saved az we 'plodded on' through the game which ended scoreless!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE FAR END
(If yoo can see through the goal net?)

NUFC now have 6 home and 4 away games to gan and wor destiny iz in wor own hands!
 
PS: Full trip report to follow, when aa get the time--like!
(Sometime next week az there are nee midweek matches!)

Cheers!
Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

Toon team: Darlow, Gamez, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Colback (Diame 88), Shelvey, Richie, Gouffran (Atsu 69, Perez, Murphy (Gayle 75)

Attendance: 23, 121 (3,704 tired Toon fans!)
*
The pre match 'gargels' took place here!

NEAR KING'S CROSS, LONDON

READING

READING

READING

A 'NICKED' SIGN FROM THE OLD ELM PARK GROOND!

100's OF BEER CLIP ADORN THE WAALLS OF THE NAGS HEED!

BUS TICKET TO MATCH FROM NAGS HEED
(GROOND IZ 4 MILES FROM CITY CENTRE!)

VIEW OF PACKED BAR  FROM 'NAGS' ENTRANCE

THE BISCUITMEN v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 6th March 2017

The nevaa endin' roller coaster ride just gans on and on!---For we are on wor travels yet again when we visit Readin' tomorrow---wor 3rd away game in 7 days!
3 games a week for the last 3 weeks iz takin' its toll on mee piggy bank balance (Norwich away, Brighton away, 'uddersfield away, Readin' away!) with 3 oweneet stays needed for the lang distance ones!
If ever we needed to be back in The Premyaa Leegue, then the above fixture congestion surely tells us that! (8 extra midweek games in The Championship than The Premyaa!)

Brighton seem to be falterin' with 2 defeats in a row and 'uddersfield now look the more likely now to fill the 2nd automatic promotion place---although Leeedz are breathin' doon their necks!

But will WE finish in the othaa promotion place?----with just 11 games to gan and 11 points clear of 3rd place we are odds on favourites to reclaim top flight status---BUT! we DID blow a 12 point lead in 1996 when it looked certain we would win The Premyaa Leegue!---SO!---'divvint coont yi chickens'---yet!

With 13 away wins so far this season, equallin' King Keegan's record, we could be witnessin' sommmik 'historical' in NUFC's lang history by '10 bells' tomorrow neet!?

Yet again, aa have to de the night trunk run to Redditch tooneet (430 miles roond trip), before draggin' meesel 'oot mee scratch-pit' to catch the '11 bells' train to King's Cross' in the mornin'---the nevaa endin' roller coaster ride just gans on and on and ON!

A full match report will appear here sometime later this week (NOT Wednesday, az aa will have to drive to Redditch again az soon az aa get back from Readin' !)

SO!---Watch this space on THORSDAY!---2 days late---but this IZ 'The Geordie Times' after aaall!!!!

ground number 126.(revisited) mcalpine stadium (now john smiths stadium). 'UDDERSFIELD 1 THE TOON 3 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' 5th March 2017
Date of This Visit: 4th March 2017

'GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!!!
MATT RICHIE (in  gold n black) SCORES FROM THE SPOT!

"TOON 'MILK IT' AT 'UDDERSFIELD!"

Anothaa fantastic away day oot and anothaa fantastic result for 'The Toon' against a very good 'uddersfield <(Yorkshire pronunciation) side!
The train jorney doon took little more than 2 hours and we arrived at wor designated boozer, which woz 'The Deighton Club' some 30 minutes walk from the groond! (and Toon fans free!)

It woz then onward to 'The White Horse' a 10 minute walk doon a steep hill on the way (just to break the jorney up, like!)

There were presisleee NE people in the bar!--- but the telly woz on and the gadgie telt us that Brighton were getting beat 2-0 at Forest with just minutes to gan! (3-0 eventually!)
Great news if yoo are a Toon or 'uddersfield fan and a great build up to the match!

THE MATCH:

The home fans were reeely 'up for it' az they banged there 'clackers' and waved their banners and the noise woz the best so far this season!
We never stopped singin' and the vital breakthrough came in the 10th minute when Matt Richie woz 'clipped' inside the box and the ref pointed straight to the spot!
Up he stepped to send their goalie the wrang way and the 1,900 Toon fans (that's aall they would give us!) celebrated wildleee!

'uddersfield are a very good team and tried in vain for the equaliser, but a goal from Daryl Murphy on the half hour mark, when he took the baall off their keeper and slotted it through a tight angle past 2 defenders and into the back of the net!---silenced 'the clacker brigade' and brung a crescendo of noise from 'wor lot' !

2-0 at the break!

The home side wouldn't give up and they got their 'reward when Shelvey needlessly gave a penalty away when he 'tackled' one of their players in the box.
Aaron MOOy <(a very appropriate name for a UDDERSfield player?) (sic!) stepped up to take it and sent Darlow in the Toon goal the wrang way to set up a nailbitin' last few minutes az the home side pounded wor goal!

Their keeper came up for a corner near 'the end' but the baall woz kicked up the field where sub Dwight Gayle woz waitin'!
Their keeper made a hash of a clearance az he ran back towards hiz goal and Gayle had the simple task of noddin' the baall doon and placin' it into an empty net to 'blow' 'uddersfield away! (double sic!)
3-1 and 3 magic points to send us 5 points clear of Brighton and more importantly ELEVEN points clear of 'uddersfield in thord place!

The winnin' post iz in the distance now, with just 11 games to gan!

PS: This woz wor forst ever competitive game here, but we have played 2 friendlies and a FA Youth Cup game here in the past! (And of course, "we woz there!") 

Toon team : Darlow, Anita, Dummett, Clark, Lascelles, Colback (Gouffran 72), Shelvey, Atsu (Yedlin 81), Richie, Diame, Murphy (Gayle 66)

Attendance: 23, 213 (1,900 very (very!) happy Toon fans!)
A record crowd for a leegue game here!
PS: Even 'The Tyne Bridge' came doon for this one!

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE TYNE BRIDGE END'!

*The pre match 'gargels' took place here!

PPS: 'Mal the Inglish Skool Teecha <(hiz spellin' not mine!) received an extraordinary  letter from a mackem fan tellin' him that they had sent hiz Huddersfield ticket to hiz neighbours hoose in Houghton Le Spring by misteak (Mal lives in DARLINGTON!)

"WUD YOO BELEEEVE IT!"



'UDDERSFIELD YORKSHIRE TERRIERS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW TEATIME!

Posted '12:45pm bells' Friday 3rd March 2017

Tomorrow we mek the relatively short trip to West Yorkshire when we take on 'The Terriers of 'uddersfield at The McAlpine Stadium ---We say 'McAlpine' az that's wot the groond woz caalled when we forst played there in a Youth Cup game sometime ago! (now caalled 'The John Smiths Stadium')
We've aalso played their twice with wor forst team in friendlies, but this will be the forst ever competitive meetin' between the 2 clubs for a forst team game there, since the new stadium woz opened in 1994

Of course it iz vital that we don't lose az the home side (who are 8 points behind us) aalso have a game in hand!
Just like at Brighton, this iz 'a six pointer' and hopefully we can get the same result!?

I am still workin' on the final Brighton story report---and az aa aalways seem to be travellin' somewhere with The Toon or 'graft', it's gettin' the time to de it----pleeeze be patient!

I am on the 12:50 bells train tomorrow and will arrive in deepest Yorkshire some 2 hours later (KO '5:30 bells' for the telly!)

A match report of the game will appear here sometime on Sunday

Cheers! Fink (the mad sad groundhopper!)

NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTON 1 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '1:17pm bells' Wednesday 1st March 2017

THE TOON (in black n gold) ATTACK 'WOR END'!

"TOO LITTLE-TOOO LATE!" ("OH NO IT'S NOT!")

Below iz a brief match report in between gettin' back from Brighton (10:45am bells') and gannin' to graft this afternoon to drive to Redditch and back ('2:00pm bells')
There WILL be a full match and compreeehesive trip report later in the week!---Pleeeze bear with me!

We started off well in this top of the table clash at Amex Stadium which iz 'ne where near Brighton' in a place called Falmer (hence the title of this article!)

However!---and for some inexplicable reason in the 14th minute of the game the ref gave a penalty against us, when it looked (to us) az if wor goalie Karl Darlow had been fouled!
Up stepped Murray to send Darlow the wrang way and give Brighton the lead in front of a sell oot crowd!


JONJO SHELVEY SENDS IN A CORNER


That's the way it stayed til half time and we battled away in the 2nd period lookin' for the equaliser!
The clock ticked on and it didn't look good az a defeat would put us 4 points behind Brighton with an away game on Saturday loomin' against high flyin' 'uddersfield, who were 'breathin doon wor necks' in 3rd place!

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE FAR END' (2nd half)

The definin' moment of this game came in the 74th minute when we made a substitution and brought Murphy on for the ineffective Colback!
A fan behind me wasn't happy and started singin' "Too little-tooo late!" az he berated Rafa for wot he saw az a late substitution.
'Bill Quay Kev', who woz next to me, torned roond and telt him in ne uncertaion torms to "F**K OFF!" and support anothaa team if he wasn't happy, addin' that we would win 2-1!

To be honest 'Kev' had had a bit to drink and aa thought that there woz 'ne way' that we could win this game anyway!---a draw, mebbez?
Daryl Murphy definitely changed the game az we put the pressure on the home side---and then the major breakthrough!
A shot from Perez richshaded off somebody and hit Diame on hiz heel and the baall looped into the net past the dispairin Brighton defence in the 81st minute to send the 2,900 Toon fans crackers!
(Justice for the dodgy penalty!)
(Diame had previously missed 2 easy chances!--1 in each half!)

A point iz better than nowt aa thought, but 'Bill Quay Kev' (he lives in Bill Quay on the banks o the Tyne!) insisted we would win 2-1!

And then in the very last minute of the game up stepped 'super sub' Perez (who had come on in the 82nd minute) to hammer the baall into the net and win the game for us, az several Toon fans fell ower the seats in front of me, celebratin' the winnin' goal!!!
(The 'doom and gloom' fan behind us had departed by then!)

How wrang aa woz and how right Kev woz aboot the final score(and how WRANG that 'fan'? woz to 'give up on us')
Top o the leegue again!---JUST!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Colback (Murphy 74), Atsu, Diame, Gouffran (Perez 82)

Attendance: 30,230 (Brighton's highest of the season) (2,900 very happy Toon fans!)

Pre match 'gargels' took place here!

The Northumberland Arms, King's Cross (Before we caught the train to Brighton)

 

Much more to follow on this in the comin' days---when aa get time!------watch this space!!!!

The Lord Nelson, Brighton

Near Brighton station

TOTAL CHAOS!
We had to queue for half an hour an hour before the game
 to catch a train from Brighton to Falmer station, where the groond iz
some SIX miles away!

 

(NE WHERE NEAR) BRIGHTON v THE TOON ***TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '12:27pm bells' Munday 28th February 2017

"THORD TIME LUCKY?"

Tomorrow we face wor langest jorney of the season when we travel to (ne where near) Brighton (the groond iz 6 miles away in aplace caalled Falmer!)

This iz a vital game and defeat iz un'fink'able
This will be wor thord visit to their new abode, with the previous 2 endin' in FA Cup defeats!

We are on the 10:59 bells' train in the mornin' and don't get back til Wednesday dinnaatime---THEN!---a'v got to gan straight to graft and drive to Redditch once again---SO!--the match report wont appear here til Thorsday!!!
This IZ 'The Geordie Times' after aall!----wot did yoo expect???

THE TOON 2 THE BIG BRISTOLS 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:38am bells' Sunday 26th February 2017

THE TOON KICK OFF!

"IT'S CRUNCH TIME FOLKS!"

After puttin' an aaful forst half permormance, when we foond worsels 2-0 doon to relegation fodder Bristol City, things looked ominous when we foond oot that 'uddersfield were winnin' 1-0 at Barnsleee and were now 'breathin doon wor necks'!

A free heeder for Wilbraham in the 11th minute at The Gallowgate End put the visitors in front--but!---woz it offside?----the linesman on wor side of the pitch said "NO!" and the goal stood!

And then an aaful mix up between and Paul Dummett and goalie Karl Darlow let in Cotterill, who had the simple task of puttin' the baall into an empty net (just like at Norwich!) to send shock waves around St James' Park az the 'shocked' *'Big Bristol' fans celebrated an unlikelee 2-0 lead at half time! *(they are 'bigger' than Bristol Rovers!)

The comeback started just before the hour mark when Jonjo Shelvey forced home the baall from an Atsu cross to send the away contingent into 'panic station mode'!

The equaliser came after great chances were missed, when Ciaran Clark heeded home to lift the roof off the stadium in the 83rd minute!----There woz still time to get the winner and the vital 3 points and Shelvey had a great chance to de this just before the end , but hiz shot went across the box and behind for a goal kick!

A point gained but 2 lost, but better news from Barnslee---it ended 1-1 meenin' that 'uddersfield hadn't gained anythin' on us and remained 5 points adrift in thord place!
Brighton won the late kick off game v Readin' 3-0 to gan 1 point clear of us in top spot!
We play away to Brighton on Tuesday neet--- (and like we say at the top of the page)---"It's crunch time folks!"

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Dummett, Clark, Lascelles, Colback (Diame 58), Shelvey, Perez (Gouffran 79), Mitrovic, Atsu, Richie

Attendance: 52, 131 (2,700 away followers)

* 

THE TOON v THE BIG BRISTOLS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 24th February 2017

STRAWBERRY CORNER

'The Big Bristols' come to Toon tomorrow (whey!--they are a bigger club than Bristol Rovers ---arnt they!?) on the back of 11 away defeats this season and languish just above the relegation zone, havin' lost 2-0 at home to Fulham in midweek and have taken just 5 points oot of the last 39!---A sure fire 3 points for us then!?---"EH!" this IZ NUFC divvint forget!!!

We understand that wor visitors have sold ower 2,600 tickets for 'The Leazes level 7', so anothaa 50,000 plus crowd iz anticipated!

Dwight Gayle iz again sidelined after hiz aborted retorn on Munday neet v Villa and we hear that he will be oot til next month with hiz recurrin' hamstring injury!
Vernon Anita iz available though, although both Arrons and Hayden are both still carryin' injuries and will not play!

'Doris Day' haz passed us by and the weather forecast iz good for this time of the year---although it could be a bit windy---like!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here--sometime on Sunday or Munday!

THE TOON 2 BROKEN NOSE BRUCE'S HAZBEENZ & VILLANS 0 ***EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st February 2017

"WOT GANS AROOND!--COMES AROOND!"




GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE! ***
"LANSBURY (NUMBER 5) OWN GOAL!-HA!-HA!"
(PICTURE BY STEEV WHO WOZ BEHIND GOAL!)


'Villan of the peace' Henri Lansbury, (who cheated when we played Forest away orlier this season, resultin' in 2 sendins off for NUFC), woz roundly booed throughout the match, az woz that 'round' person in the away dugout, affectionately known az 'Broken Nose Bruce' to Toon fans!

Again, we struggled to break doon the away teams defence @ SJP and the 1,700 or so 'Hazbeenz' fans in level 7 of The Leazes End (they couldn't sell their 3,200 allocation!) slagged us off from the forst whistle!
"Sing in the library!" and "We forgot that you were here!", were just 2 of the very old and outdated chants that they 'hoyed' at us!

Worryingly, Dwight Gayle, who had just returned from injury limped off after half an hour with wot looked like a hamstring injury and woz replaced by 'Mitro'



1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

We did eventually make the breakthrough in the 43rd minute when Gouffran scrambled the baall home az it came off Lascelles heed from a Shelvey corner at The Leazes End and we went in 1-0 up at half time!

It didn't take lang in the 2nd period to double wor advantage when anothaa corner from Shelvey ended up in the back of the net!
We wernt sure who'd scored and aa thought it might be an own goal!?
The tannoy announcer confirmed that indeed it woz an own goal, and woz scored by 'one' HENRI LANSBURY who had hit hiz own post before the baall rickoshaded into the Villa goal!
There woz a huge roar--louder than the roar for the goal, when this woz announced and Lansbury looked a broken man az he heeded back to the half way line for the restart!
Taak aboot s*ittin' in your own nest!!!---"GET IN!"

He then had to suffer sarcastic taunts of "There's only one Henri Lansbury!", from the Toon faithful az 'The Hazbeenz & Villans' fans suddenly went aall quiet (like in a LIBRARY!--"HA!-HA!")

SHELVEY TAKES A CORNER AT THE GALLOWGATE END

We could have had more goals, but couldn't make wor superiority coont az the clock ticked doon and the Villa fans disappeared into the night!
The team, the manager the player and the fans we love to hate (after they mocked wor relegation in 2009 and last year) were in disarray and a relegation battle looms for them!
"Couldn't ask for a better ending!"---"BRILLIANT!"

Toon team: Darlow, Lascelles, Yedlin, Clark, Dummett, Shelvey, Colback, Richie, Gouffran (Atsu 88), Diame, Gayle (Mitrovic 33)

Attendance: 50,024 (just 1,760 'Hazbeenz &Villans')
*

"GET THE FLAGS OOT!"

THE TOON v BROKEN NOSE BRUCE & HIZ HAZBEENZ & VILLANS *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '10:20am bells' Munday 20th February 2017

VIEW OF BARRACK ROAD FROM 'LEVEL 7'
OF THE MILBURN STAND

Broken Nose Bruce brings hiz Villa side to SJP tooneet havin' lost their last 4 away games and languishin' in 17th place in the table just 6 points above the relegation zone!---But wot did 'The Hazbeenz' fans expect from him?---Relegated with Hull and humiliated at The Toon in the 5-1 hall'oween derby massacre in 2010, which subsequently lost him hiz job az the SMB manager!
Indeed, they haven't won since Boxin' Day when they beat Borton 2-1 at their place! (keep up the good work Brucey!)

We, on the othaa hand sit in 2nd place, havin' lost top spot to 'Ne Where Near Brighton' on Saturday (their groond iz miles away from Brighton!) but a win will see us reclaim top spot (yet!) again! 

Wor visitors have sold just 1,760 tickets from their 2,200 allocation (they could have had 3,200), but a near full hoose iz still expected in this Sky telly game at '8:00 bells'

Of course there iz 'bad blood' between the 2 sets of fans started of by those in the Holte End of Villa Park with banners 'celebratin' wor relegation in 2009 and last season az well!

Who's THEIR next messiah? Nigel Kennedy or Jasper Carrott???

A near full strength squad will be available tooneet---but this IZ NUFC of course and anythin' can happen!!!!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

FOOTNOTE:
The 'RONNY-GILL' gets it WRANG again!
In the build up to toneets game @ ST JAMES' PARK, wor local 'rag' printed this photo and caption!?