TAALK ABOOT BURYIN' YI HEED IN THE SAND!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 17th October 2015

McCLAREN VISITS WHITLEY BAY BEACH!

Yet more amazin' statements have been uttered by 'The Wally (withoot!) the Brolly'

Taalkin' aboot the lang torm injury to goalie Tim Krul: 
"It's a massive blow for us!---He's a vital player and he would get us 18-20 points a season with the way he plays!" <(Krul played in the forst 8 games and we have THREE points to show with him between 'the sticks'!)

NOT SO GREAT expectations!: Before the season started both wor 'beloved' MD 'Penfold' and McClaren said (in so many words):
"We expect a top EIGHT finish and a good run in the cups!"
Now after a terrible start and defeat to Sheff Wed resorves in the Leegue Cup the 'goalposts have been moved' and a 40 point target iz now wor aim! <(highly unlikely we'll get that eethaa, me finks!)

The Leegue table etc-- On hiz arrival he said that we shud judge him after TEN games---He now says:
"I don't look at the table, not the first half of the season and DEFINATLY NOT the first TEN games!"

A GAME OF ONE HALF!:

"ONE half wonders!"

After the disastrous 6-1 defeat at Man City he made the players watch the FORST half of the game (when it waz 1-1) but SWITCHED THE TELLY OFF! for the SECOND HALF debacle?:
"WE played really well for 45 minutes!"
AYE!--that's reet Steve, but why not show them the total collapse in the 2nd half az well?---IZ he in denial??----IZ he buryin' hiz heed in the sand????---We leave yoo to draw your own conclusions!

RIP TOBY!

Posted '11:05am bells' Saturday 17th October 2015

Very sad news reaches us aboot the passin' away of a Toon fan known az 'Toby'
'Toby' who waz 60ish waz a loyal fan who travelled home and away with hiz mates 'Robbo', 'Mac' and company for many a year!

RIP TOBY you will be sadly missed by us all!

"AFTER EIGHT---WE'LL BE AALREET MATE!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 16th October 2015

STEVE'S FAVE CHOCS!

'The Wally (withoot!) the Brolly' haz just come oot with an amazin' statement, sayin' that:
"WE SAID AFTER THE ETIHAD THAT OUR SEASON STARTS NOW!"---"IT'S KIND OF BEEN AN EXTENDED PRE SEASON AND NOW WE HAVE TO START PLAYING!"

Wot McClaren meeenz in effect iz that wor forst EIGHT leegue games have been wiped from the record books and we can concentrate on the start of the season NOW!
NE points from NE games gives us a chance to 'catch up' and he will ne doubt tell us that a 'Champions Leegue place' iz 'up for grabs'!
The anly problem iz! ---we will have to replay the away disasters at the likes of Swanzee, West Ham and the 6-1 defeat at Man City and the home debacles against the likes of Wotfad and Sheff Wed resorves! <(in the Leegue Cup!)

But not to worry!---The 'Brolly-less' Wally went on to say!:
"AS LONG AS WE CONTINUE MAKING PROGRESS--- <(We nevaa realised that a 6-1 defeat waz 'progress'???) WHICH I BELIEVE WE ARE (???)---AND THEY BELIEVE WE ARE (???)---THEN WE KEEP GOING!"

Bring on 'The Canary Custard Creams'! <(Or shud that be 'THE AFTER EIGHTS'!?)

THE TOON v DELIA'S CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Thorsday 15th October 2015


'STRAWBERRY CORNER' FROM 'THE STRAWBERRY' UPSTAIRS WINDOW


WE don't play til Sunday by which time we could be EIGHT points off safety if  'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom beat 'Big Fat Sam's' SMBs on Saturday afternoon!

Injuries to Tim Krul, Rolando Aarons, Steve Taylor, Emmanual Riviere and Gabriel Obertan rule them oot, although Daryl Janmaat, Paul Dummett, Kevin Mbabu and Massadio Haidara shud be involved!---not sure aboot Jack Colback?

With just ONE win in the last NINETEEN attempts in the leegue, gannin back to last season, these are indeed desperate times for anyone of black n white persuasion!

Wor beleaguered and desperate 'Wally (withoot'!) the Brolly' manager haz said that we have played 8 tough games so far this season!---Honest Steve---aa nevaa realised that WATFORD at home waz a 'tough game'!

Failure to win will surely send 'The Fat Controller' into 'panic mode'! (az well az the rest of us!)  

MH17 VERDICT

Posted '11:56am bells' Thorsday 15th October 2015

News that we aalready knew anyway waz conformed this week.
Flight MH17 which both John 'The Undertaker' and Liam 'from the Lamp' were on board with 296 other unfortunate people waz shot doon by a Russian buk missile ower the Ukraine on 17th July last year!

Of course the Russians blame the Ukrainians and vise versa, but it won't bring them back---will it!

Both John and Liam were great friends of wors and are of course very sadly missed by aall and will never be forgotten by us!
RIP  

BOURNEMOOOTH TICKETS ON SALE!

Posted '11:30am bells' Tuesday 13th October 2015


THE AWAY SECTION @ BOURNEMOOOTH

Tickets for wor trip to Bournemoooth next month are now on sale to season ticket holders with 150 loyalty points or more (those who have been to at least 150 away games!)---£23 quid each for the 1,250 tickets allocated

LIFE IZ 'KRUL' FOR TIM!

Posted '9:55am bells' Munday 12th October 2015

News that we just didn't want to hear haz come through that forst choice goalie Tim Krul iz OOT for the rest of the season after injurin' hiz right knee in Holland's game against Kazakhstan on Saturday!
He haz cruciate ligament damage to hiz knee after twistin' it on the artificial torf in Astana and waz seen leavin' the stadium on crutches after the match which Holland won 2-1.

Understudy Karl Darlow iz aalso carryin' an injury which meeez thord choice keeper Rob Elliot will be 'hoyed into the deep end' next Sunday in wor crucial home game against 'The Canary Custards' of Norwich! ---"Things just gan from bad to worse!"

GROUND NUMBER 317 --- CITY FOOTBALL ACADEMY COMPLEX (PITCH 8), MANCHESTER CITY

Ground number 317
Date of First Visit: 10th October 2015
Pitch 8, Academy Complex, Manchester

Manchester City U18s 6
Newcastle United U18s 1 (McNall)

FA Premier U18s League
Attendance: 75 (Estimated by Glennn!) (includin' 3 mad-sad groundhoppers, plus wor number 11s faathaa!)

"PRISONER CELL BLOCK 8!"   ^^^^^^
("IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' THE FORST TEAM!")

Before anybody accuses 'The Geordie Times' of nickin' the above headline off  'nufc.com' , az they have the same one---(the one in brackets) then think again!---coz WE thought of it when Man City put the baall into the net for the 3rd time in the 25th minute of the forst half!

We were dreadful!---and conceded after just 2 minutes when the home side simply 'walked the baall' into the net---it waz 2-0 barely 2 mins later when wor defence went 'walk aboot'!


PITCH NUMBER 8 *** THE TOON ATTACK 'THE ACADEMY END'(1st half)
THE CITY OF MANC STADIUM IZ ON THE LEFT WITH
IT'S 'BABY SISTER'  ACADEMY STADIUM TO THE RIGHT  


When the 3rd one went in wor minds flashed back to the previous week when wor forst team were hammered 6-1 'ower the road' in their main stadium!

It waz 'fower-nil' 8 mins into the 2nd period when again 'The Blue Moonies' simply walked through wor defence to score!
A needless penalty given away by Pedrah made the score 5-0 ----and then a miracle happened!---WE actually scored through Lewis McNall who's shot waz deflected past their keeper 3 minutes from full time----but then 'City' hammered the final nail into wor coffin deep into injury time to make it the SAME SCORE az the NUFC forst team just 7 days before!

THE TOON MAKE A RARE 'SORTE' INTO THE MAN CITY BOX (2nd half)

"YELLOW WRIST BANDS AND AALL THAT!"

To get into the complex before the game waz a nightmare, with barriers, fences and locked tornstiles barrin' wor way.
To make sure we got in 'Glennn from Ashington' (who I waz travellin' with) said we shud say that we were related to a Toon player and telt me that wor goalie waz called Brendan Pearson (A'm not 'clued up' aboot the U18s team az it's ages since a'v seen them play!)

"NO ENTRY!"

The guy on the forst barrier asked us who we were, but unfortunately aa had a 'brain warp' and aa waz just aboot to tell him that we were related to a Toon player called Brendan Rodgers!--- but just az aa waz aboot to say 'Rodgers' aa remembered hiz proper name---in the nick of time!--- and so he let us in to park wor motor! ('Phew---it waz a close call!')
The 2nd obstacle waz the tornstile and we had to ring a buzzer to get through to somebody on an intercom---again we telt him we were related to a Toon player! ---and he 'buzzed us in'!

The 3rd and final obstacle waz in reception, where again we telt the lassie behind the desk that we were related to a Toon player.
She told us to hold wor hands oot so she could place 2 yellow plastic bands around wor wrists! (honest--aa felt like a tagged prisoner!)---and pointed us in the direction of 'Pitch 8' where the game waz to be played! (The yellow wrist bands bein' wor 'tickets' to get in!)---aall this hassle just to watch an academy game!


"SING IN THE BUS STOP!"


It waz disappointin' to say the least that the game waz NOT gannin to be played at the 7,000 capacity Academy Stadium az we expected, but instead on one of the many floodlit pitches on the complex next to it!
The facilities were fantastic though--and aall the pitches had  seated shelters for aboot 50 spectators-------never mind!---we can aalways gan back sometime in the future when wor U21s play at The Academy Stadium---(az lang az we divvint lose 6-1 again!)

ROTTEN FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM!

Some damnin' stats for wor 1st team, U21s and U18s:
Between them to date, they have won just ONE game oot of a possible TWENTY TWO played this season!---The ANLY success comin' from a solitary 3-2 win for wor U18s v Man Utd U18s in September!

PS: One of the 3 mad-sad groundhoppers, namely 'Byzy', had been to the Ing-er-land game against Estonia the neet before and had travelled up from London for the U18s game.
He waz stoppin' 'on the drink' aall neet, az he didn't have a hotel booked--and then he waz off to Lithuania from Liverpool airport at '6 bells' on Sunday mornin' for anothaa Ing-er-land game on the Munday neet! (Dedication?---OR!---shear stupidity?)

BLANKETY BLANK!---WHEY! NOT QUITE FOR THE MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

Posted '1:28pm bells' Friday 9th October 2015


'LITTLE SISTER' WITH 'BIG BROTHER' IN THE BACKGROOND!

With the forst team in inaction once again ower the weekend becoz of yet anothaa International break, we have decided to heed for Man City (once again!---and for the 2nd time in a week!) az wor Under 18s are playin' Man Citys equivalent at their new purpose built academy stadium ower the road from their main groond!
The game kicks off at '1:00pm bells' tomorrow and there are a huge number travellin' doon from the north east for 'this one'!----'The mad-sad groundhopper' <('ME'!) and 'Glennn from Ashington'!

The rest of the (so caalled!) groundhoppers are pre-occupied in the followin' locations---Poland <(for a p*ss up and a local game!)---Portugal <(for a holiday!)---and Lithuania <(where Ing-er-land are playin'!) <(update: "Oh no they are NOT!--Lithuania U21s are playin' Ireland U21s?)

Lets hope that it ISNT the same scoreline az last week when we were here!

A Geordie Times match report and pix on this game will appear here on Sunday sometime!

SMB SELLOOT!

Posted '12:43pm 'bells' Friday 9th October 2015

300 YARDS FROM THE STADIUM OF "SSshhh! YEE NAA WOT!"
"DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE IN THEEZE SHACKS?"

Not suprisingleee wor allocation of tickets for wor forthcomin' game v The SMBs @ The SOS later this month have been selt oot!
But not before the loyalty points dropped to az low az 60 from the 100 forst needed to apply for one!  (1 loyalty point from each away gamed attended ower the years!)