"150,000 THANKYOOZ!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 12th December 2014

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

Anothaa 'Geordie Times' milestone haz been passed this mornin', for we have just receeeved wor 150,000th pageview on this site!--and by coincidence we have received 'hits' from 150 countries and territories aroond planet Orth az well! <(plus Mars of course!)

Country by country 'milestones' have aalso been passed recently az well! (highlighted below)

The top ten table iz az follows:

UK: 70,571 (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales)
USA: 25,594
Ukraine: 11,349
Jawmany: 10,160
"Mee old" China: 3,893
Rushaa: 2,698
"Lost in" France: 1,260
The Israelites: 1,184
The Guinness Republic: 1,125
Torkey: 1,051

Once again we thank each and everyone of yoo from Marrakesh to Mars for loggin' into this NUFC fan blog!   

A LOYAL GEORDIE TIMES REEDER CLIMBS UP THE
EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN NEW YORK
TO CELEBRATE WOR 150,000th HIT!

LONDON CALLING!

Posted '12:52pm bells' Thorsday 11th December 2014

This comin' Saturday 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' face the dauntin' task of tryin' to de TWO groonds between '3 bells' and '5:30 bells' in 'sarf' and 'norf Landan' respectivleee!

Wor youth team play Millwaall @ 'The New Den @ '3 bells' in the FA Youth Cup and then the forst team play 'The Arse' @ The Emirates Stadium just two and a half hours later in a Premyaa Leegue fixture!
The New Den iz of course a 'new groond' for us and iz a 'must gan game'!--Sadly, Millwaall  FC were very unhelpful and refused to change the kick off time to accommodate NUFC and 'The mad-sad groundhoppers'

We have THREE contingency plans to 'de' the two games!


Plan 'A'
'Dave from York' and hiz sidekick 'Alex of St George' (amongst others!) are gannin on a 'reconnaissance mission' and are heedin' for 'The Emirates' in the orly mornin' and backtrackin' by tube and train and shank's pony to the nearest rail station to Millwaall's groond, to see just how lang it takes!
And then devise a plan to get us from there to 'The Arse' withoot missin' tooo much of that game!--It won't be easy---but we wont be beaten!

'Biffa the Beer' <(no! this isn't a misprint--he likes a pint or 10!) iz contenplatin' gettin' between the two games by motorcycle courier az a pillion passenger, az of course a bike can weave in and oot of traffic on the congested London streets!

This haz given ME a 'brainwave' <(or shud that be 'brain-warp'?) and two great ideas to get the dozen or so 'mad-sad groundhoppers' across London, who aalso want to 'de' the two games!

Plan 'B'!

PLAN 'B'***'THE NUFC MAD -SAD GROUNDHOPPERS' PASS BIG BEN
AND THE HOOSES OF PARLIAMENT ON THEIR WAY FROM
MILLWAALL TO 'THE ARSE'!
(BUT CAN YOO SPOT SOMMIK AMISS?)
(AALL WILL BE REVEALED IN GOOD TIME!)

Plan 'C'


PLAN 'C' *** FORM A 'HELLS ANGELS GANG'
AND TERRORISE  MOTORISTS TO LET US PASS!

 

IT'S THE BASIL BRUSH SHOW!

Posted '11:35am bells' Tuesday 9th December 2014

The FA Cup thord roond draw haz (thankfully!) spared us a visit to Croft Park (Blyth) or Gatesheed Stadium and haz paired us away to 'The Basil Brush Brigade' of Leicester!

We cannit see this game bein' picked for live telly and think that it will be played on Saturday 3rd January @ '3 bells'!

There's ne doubt that Blyth, who have drawn Bormingham at home will be a live game, az will (more than likely) Gatesheed, who have been drawn away to 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom!

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE! *** "JOSE GETS MAD COW DISEASE!"

Posted '10:18am bells' Monday 8th December 2014

NEWCASTLE TOWN MOOR NEXT TO ST JAMES' PARK
THE VENUE FOR THE VISIT OF CHELSKI NEXT SEASON!

Jose Moanrinho's latest comments aboot wor tactics against them on Saturday get more bizzare. Forst of aall he blames the baall boys for not givin' the baall back quickly enough when it gans oot of play and now he says that we played like there waz a COW on the pitch!????

Next time we shud play them on the Toon Moor where cows are allowed to graze freely!

Mee finx he haz sommik wrang 'upstairs' 
'Mad Cow Disease---Perhaps'!?

NORTH EAST'S 'BIG THREE' IN FA CUP DRAW TOONEET!

Posted '9:55am bells' Monday 8th December 2014

A 'PACKED'? 'LEAZES END CLUB' WATCH
'THE HEED' v WARRINGTON FA CUP TIE!

Tooneet @ '7 bells' on the Beeb and Radio 5 there iz the FA Cup 3rd roond draw and this of course involves the north east's 'Big Three', by which I meeen of course, 'The Toon', 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' and 'The Spartans of Blyth'! <(who else did yi think aa meant???)

'The Heedbangers' beat 'The Warriors of Warrington' 2-0 yesterday dinnaatime, to progress to the 3rd roond and 'The mad-sad Tellyhoppers' watched it in the warmth of 'The Leazes End Club' (aka 'The Companions') within the shadows of St James'!
In total there were SEVEN of us watchin' az 'The Heed' completeleee dominated the game, hittin' the woodwork on ne less than 3 occasions in front of a 2,800 plus crowd (includin' 1,200 'Warriors'!)

There are quite a few banana skins to avoid in the draw includin' the above two!---and personally---I will find oot on Radio 5 az aa drive mee truck to Halesowen, which iz to the sooth west of Bormingham.
Lets hope (and pray!) it isn't one of the othaa 'Big Three' mentioned or else there might just be a nasty crash on the 'M1', come '7:15 bells'!

We await with baited breath for the draw tooneet!

THE TOON 2 THE CHELSKI OAPS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:50am bells' Sunday 7th December 2014

"IT'S A LOAD OF BAALLS!, MOANRINHO!"

THE TOON KICK OFF!
(The North Sea iz on the horizon 8 miles away!)

We said yesterday that we would like to wipe the 'non smile' of Jose Mourinho's face and that's exactly wot we did az we ended 'The Invincibles' unbeaten run! <(he actually 'smiled' at the end of the match!)

Chelski started off the better of the two sides and had several chances to tek the lead az they attacked 'The Gallowgate End' orly on!
Jack Colback had the best chance for us a little later on when hiz shot waz blocked on the line and the teams went in' aall square' at half time!

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (1st half)

"PAPISS TAKIN' THE P*SS!"

Both sides had chances to score orly in the 2nd period and the deadlock waz finally broken by 'super-sub' Papiss Cisse in the 57th minute when he latched onto a Sammy Ameobi pass to score from just 3 yards oot to send the crowd into raptures!

(A'd said to 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' who sits next to me, that we had ne chance of beatin' them and just THREE seconds later Cisse scored!)

Cisse's 2nd came in the 78th minute when a cross from Sissoko foond hiz feet and he gleefully exepted hiz chance to bury the baall in the back of the net @ 'The Gallowgate End'
12mins to gan!---surely we'd won the game!?

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END
(View from The Milburn Stand balcony)

But this iz NUFC! so we tried to 'push the self destruct button' when Steve Taylor needlessly got a 2nd yellow card and iz sent off in the 82nd minute. From the resultin' Chelski free kick, they score through a Drogba heeder to set the game on a knife edge!

Drogba then tried to bully Cisse into restartin' the game quickly, with wor centre forward hero havin' 'none of it' az he waved hiz arms in anger at him!
I then dropped a 'major bollock' by shoutin' praise for a great save from Rob Elliot in The Toon goal!
I then got a glarin' look from the 'old doll' who sits in front of me and she told me in no uncertain terms that it waz JAK ALWICK in wor goal and that he had replaced Elliot at half time (who had picked up an injury from a goal kick!) "HELP!"

Somehow we managed to get to the 90 minute mark when the 4th official put up SIX minutes of  'Fergie time' on hiz board, which brought howls of derision from The Toon faithful!

SEVEN? minutes of torture followed <(the ref foond anothaa minute from somewhere?) before he finally blew for full time az the roof lifted off St James'!
Chelski's unbeaten run from the start of the season waz ower---we have now beaten them THREE years in a row at home!
Who's 'invincible'?

P45DEW <(we still resorve wor judgement on him til Xmas!) said we had just beaten the best team in Europe and Moanrinho blamed the baall boys for hiz sides defeat?, az he claimed they hadn' given the baall back quick enough went it went oot of play!
UTTER TOSH! if yoo ask me and sour grapes for yoo, Jose!

We move up to 7th place in the table, just 2 points behind Man U in 4th!

"Arsenal!-Arsenal! here we come!" <(wor next game, next Saturday in London!)

Toon team: Elliot (Alwick 46) <(didn't notice he'd came on!)
Janmaat, Steve Taylor, Coloccini, Dummett, Tiote, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella (Cisse 53), Sammy Ameobi (Williamson 83), Perez

Attendance: 52,019 (3,200 'Invincible' followers!)

And finally!  Can we just wish Gatesheed the best of luck in their FA Cup tie against Warrington which kicks off @ 'high noon bells' today and iz live on BT Sports!  <(If they get through lets hope (and pray!) we divvint draw them or Blyth in the 3rd roond draw on Monday!)>>>>>>>>>>>>

THE TOON v THE CHELSKI OAPs *** @ DINNAATIME TOOODAY!

Posted '9:50am bells' Saturday 6th December 2014

"5-1 to 'The Geordie Boys'?"

We face the dauntin' task of beatin' the current seemingleee invincible Chelski side who havvent lost a game this season so far!
The game kicks off @ '12:45 bells' and iz live on BT Sports.

It would be very nice indeed to wipe that 'non smile' of Jose Mourinho's face <(if yi see worra meeen!?) and claim the three points this afternoon!

It isn't beyond the realms of possibility that we can be the forst side to put a dent in the west Londoners armour and a white hot atmosphere iz guaranteed @ St James' Park in just a few short hours time!

History lesson: Wor forst ever meetin' with Chelski @ St James' Park occurred 107 years ago on Saturday September 14th 1907 when we won 1-0 thanx to a goal by 'one' Robert Orr, in front of a 35,000 crowd!

'Geordie Times' history: A great occasion for me az we slaughtered them 5-1 ! under the huge 150 foot high floodlights, (that yoo used to be able to see from miles away!) on a Wednesday neet, 47 lang years ago in August 1967, in front of 34,809 @ St James'

I waz in the old standin' Leazes End on that memorable neet and wor goals were scored by 'Ankle's' Bennett, Wyn (the leap) Davies (who got 2), Dave Elliott and Tommy Robson
It cost me 'half a crown' to get in (2s 6d in old money) <(12 1/2 pence today!) and the match programme waz 'a bob' (1 shilling in old money) <(5p!)

If ONLY we can repeat that result today???

And finally! Congratulations to 'The Spartans of Blyth' for their fantastic FA Cup win against 'The Monkeyhangers of Hartlepool' last neet. They came from a goal doon to spectacularly win the tie in the 90th minute!
Lets hope (and pray!) that we DIVVINT get them in the thord roond draw on Monday neet (Or 'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed, shud they get through tomorrow!)  TWO 'banana skins' if ever there waz one! <(If yi see worra meeen!?)

Full 'Geordie Times' match report on today's Chelski game will be published online sometime tomorrow! 

NORTH EAST'S BIG 4 ON TV!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 5th December 2014

There are an unprecedented THREE live games on the telly ower the weekend featurin' the north east's BIG FOUR clubs!

The forst one iz tooneet when The Spartans of Blyth tek on The Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool in the 2nd roond of the FA Cup @ The Victoria Groond in Monkeyhangerland and this game iz live on BBC 2 @ '7:30 bells' <(me finx?)

Then!---tomorrow dinnatime WE tek on the Chelski Pensioners <(their old nickname) in the Premyaa Leegue @ St James' @ '12:45 bells' on BT Sports

We then nip one mile across the Tyne Bridge to Gatesheed Stadium on Sunday where The Heedbangers tek on Warrington Toon in the 2nd, 2nd roond tie of the weekend featurin' north east clubs.
The game kicks off @ 'high noon bells' and iz live on BT Sports
£15 for big kids*** £10 for zimmerframeites *** £8 for sprogs
This game iz AALL TICKET but they can be bought from the Gatesheed  ticket office <(where else?), today or tomorrow
NONE on sale on Sunday!?

BORNLEEE 1 THE TOON ! *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:37 am bells' Wednesday 3rd December 2014

"SOMMIK 'FISHY'S' GANNIN' ON!"

^^^^^^^ "WHO ARE YOO!???" ** "COO!-COO!"^^^^^^^

'The Magnificent Seven' of us set of from the north east in mee convorted mini bus and after a torturous jorney ower the Pennines via Ripon, Harrogate, Blubberhooses and Colne, we finally arrived at wor destination 3 hours later, which waz 'The Talbot' boozer, 10 minutes waalk from Turf Moor!

The previous neet The Toon U21s had played Blackborn U21s in Leigh and az aa waz workin' aa couldn't gan!

A series of text messages had then appeared on mee 'mobile' from a number with no name, tellin' me the score from Leigh!
"1-0 Bigiramana" waz the 1st one
"1-1 f*ck knows who scored!" waz the 2nd

Curious az to just who had sent it, I replied, "Who are you?"
"It's the secret pigeon!  I will reveal myself (not literally) in time!", came the reply?
"2-1 up---Callum Roberts!" waz the next one---and finally "Final result 3-1. Crowd unknown and the anly person I have recognised is Biffa!"---" The secret pigeon!"

Aa waz still puzzled the next day az aa waalked into 'The Talbot', where anothaa series of text messages suddenly appeared on mee 'tellin bone'!

"Put an open bag of cheese on the window where u r sittin in 'The Talbot' Coo! Coo!"
'The Secret Pigeon' waz obviousleee in the bar---but who waz he (or she)???  and then finally!  "Stop lookin' at your fone!"
It waz spooky and everyone waz a suspect!
It waz soon time to heed for the groond and we were housed in The David Fishwick Stand! (sommik 'fishy' waz definatly gannin on!)

ACTION AT THE FAR END!

The forst half waz utter cr*p from us and we went in 1-0 doon after sustained Bornleee pressure!

Anothaa message from 'The Secret Pigeon' then appeared
"Your shoelace is undone!"---and I looked doon to see the lace flappin' loose!   "HELP!" a'm bein' stalked!" aa said to Big Al who waz next to me!

Anyway we played much better in the 2nd half and equalised just after the re-start when Pappis Cisse fired a great shot home in from of the 3,000 Toon fans in 'The Fishwick', sendin' them into a crazed frenzy!

THE TOON ATTACK THE FISHWICK END!

  
A final message from 'yee naa who' then came through! "Bet u r glad u never went for a p*ss or u wud have missed the goal!"---
'secret pigeon'!"

That waz the final goal of the game az well and 1-1 waz a fair result considerin' we nevaa got oot 'of the blocks'!


"THE XMAS POST COMES EARLY IN BORNLEE!"
(thanx to Dave from York for the comment!)


And az for 'The Secret Pigeon'?---WHO THE F*CK ARE YOO????????

Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat, Haidera, Williamson (Steve Taylor 46), Dummett, Tiote, Abeid, Gouffran, Cisse, Perez (Cabella 46) Sammy Ameobi (Riviere 75)

Attendance: 18,791 (3,000 Toon fans) <(would have been more but at £40 a ticket that's not bad!) <(sorves them reet for bein' greedy bustards!)

BORNLEEE v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

Posted '10:21am bells' Tuesday 2nd December 2014

Last neet wor resorve U21 side beat Blackborn's equivalent 3-1 @ Leigh, with wor goals comin' from Bigiramana, Roberts and Quinn in front of a 322 'crowd'

Meeenwhile, the forst team face a rare trip to Bornleee @ '8 bells' tooneet, az it's a lang lang time since we last played them @ Turf Moor in a competitive game. 31 years in fact, when we lost a 2nd Division game 1-0 in from of a 13,900 crowd!
However! we have played them there since, in a friendly match 14 years ago, when we won 1-0 with Carl Cort gettin' the anly goal of the game!

We have been allocated 4,000 places in The David Fishwick Stand--a 'stand' we inadvertently said we'd 'been in' at West Ham on Saturday!
Kick off iz @ '7:45 bells'

History lesson: Wor forst ever meetin' @ Turf Moor happened 117 years ago on 3rd October 1897 when we lost 3-0 in front of an 8,000 crowd!
We are 'neck and neck' in the 98 'head to head'  encoontaaz, with The Toon winnin' 41 times, 17 drawn games and 40 defeats in the leegue and cups

'Geordie Times' history: Wor forst visit occurred 40 years ago on 23rd November 1974 when we lost 4-1 in front of 19,523 with Stewie Barrowclough gettin' wor anly goal of the game 
(archive report from that game below---ground number 034) 

A full match report from tooneets game will appear here sometime tomorrow!